All Things Dull and Ugly
(to the tune of All things Bright and Beautiful)
Monty Python
All things dull and ugly,
All creatures short and squat,
All things rude and nasty,
The Lord God made the lot.
Each little snake that poisons,
Each little wasp that stings,
He made their brutish venom.
He made their horrid wings.
All things sick and cancerous,
All evil great and small,
All things foul and dangerous,
The Lord God made them all.
Each nasty little hornet,
Each beastly little squid
Who made the spikey urchin?
Who made the sharks? He did!
All things scabbed and ulcerous,
All pox both great and small,
Putrid, foul and gangrenous,
The Lord God made them all.
Amen.
Insert pix of Biafra babies anywhere.......
That is freakin' hilarious!!!
Absolutely prefect.
Have you thought of sending it to the Vatican or any other Christian Church, etc.
Maybe even finding an Atheist Singer to adapt it and make a c.d. of it, I'd line up to buy a copy for certain.
Hey, there's an Aussie Comedian/Singer named Tim Minchin and I reckon that would right up his alley AND he's a Full on Atheist as well.
I'd reckon you could find him on the Net somewhere so give him a try.
How about having a centipede charge across the floor at you around 3 a.m. when you're trying to enjoy a little peace and quiet on the toilet? It's enough to make you wonder if you're having a nightmare.
My Least favorite thing ever...except the time I woke up & one was clinging to the ceiling, (about 6" long), right over my head. That's when I called Orkin, it was better than psychiatric hospitalization.
You said before you lived in Washington? How about those wolf spiders the size of small birds? And half a foot long lepard slugs?
@AnneWimsey Holy crap! I didn't know they get that big. And they bite?
@PondartIncbendog Try a nice BIG Sydney Funnel web Spider standing up, fangs at the ready trying to decide which part of you sink them into first.
@Triphid And that's why I can't go to Australia. Also can't go to Japan. Or Europe. Or outside.
@PondartIncbendog Just foryou, a couple of pictures of Funnel Web Spiders and one of the kinds of bite damage they can leave behind.
They aren't all that big but they sure are mean.
@Triphid Don't show me that! I won't be able to sleep for weeks.
@PondartIncbendog Why?
Don't you have such 'nasties' in America?
I thought your Rattle-snakes, Black Widow Spiders, etc, were supposed to be the nastiest of all nasties in the world?
Hey, I could dig out a few pics of what a bite from an Aussie 'Grey Tailed Mulga Spider' ( grey body and abdomen with a broad black stripe running the length of the abdomen/tail) about the size of your little finger nail leaves behind after it has had a wee nibble on your leg, or where ever it has chosen to munch if you want to post them that is.
@Triphid Love snakes and lizards. Hate all spiders.Black widows are harmless. They mind their business, don't scare us, and don't kill people.
@PondartIncbendog They're not like our Aussie Red-back Spiders then.
The male Red-Backs are small and harmless BUT the females are another story all together.
If the male doesn't get in, do the 'deed' and get out post-haste then he is the Entree on her Post-Coitus Menu.
Christians refuse to acknowledge that their God is ultimately responsible for all the ugly, vile, putrid, and disgusting things within our world. Even if we allow the Devil (or disobedient, evil humans) to "corrupt" God's creation, God has created the possibility and the parameters of this corruption, and God has allowed it to be so. Under the Christian paradigm, God is ultimately responsible for all things that exist in the world.
Wonder how man xtians know the Bible says god created evil
Isaiah 45:7 King James Version (KJV)
7 I form the light, and create darkness: I make peace, and create evil: I the Lord do all these things.
@abyers1970 - I never knew when I was one.
@RussRAB I was one for 30 years and never knew it was in there or that bible taught you how to sell daughter into slavery or that if you had disobedient son you take him and stone him
Huh?
Kinda negative, aren't we? Just because the entire Earth is a survival-of-the-fittest killing field doesn't mean we, the ultimate Apex predator, cannot find the beauty in all this blood-letting carnage!
After all, nature has now set it's sights squarely back on us, as we can see with the recent outbreaks of viruses worldwide, the murder hornets and the disappearance of the honeybees, the wholesale destruction of our environment, the rampant overpopulation and growing scarcity of resources...oh shall I go on?!?
BUT as a stoic everything's okay in MY world right now, so I choose to believe the same technology and endless ingenuity which got us in this mess will get us out.
If not, c'est la vie!
@Storm1752 - We are centered on negative aspects, but how else do we acknowledge a diety's responsibility for the negative elements of the world? Discussing the facts of the part of the glass that is half empty doesn't change the fact that it is also half full.
Besides, positives and negatives are relative terms. We often think of flies as disgusting because they thrive on excrement. But oxygen is essential for our survival and we take it for granted. But the oxygen molecule is relatively unstable. Without it being excreted by other organisms, it doesn't remain in the atmosphere. At one time on planet earth, oxygen was a poisonous eexcrement until an organism adapted to be able to metabolize it. That organism is the progenitor on all oxygen dependent life on earth including humans; surviving and thriving on the excrement of other organisms.
It's like god made an ant farm and then a boy with a magnifying glass
@kasmian Would ya tell the guy with da spiders ta knock it off?
Murder chicken crossed with a rhino.
Ooooh , the Cassowary, a very nasty and vicious bird indeed, the Emu runs a close second to those birds.
@Triphid I don't think the Emu has killed a lot of people.
@Triphid Ok, I believe now.
@PondartIncbendog Nope, but they can kill by using the very strong and solid 'nails' on the ends of their 3 toed feet (claws) much like it is assumed the Velocoraptor Dinosaurs did, they strike downwards with one leg, ripping through the abdominal wall and letting the guts spill out on to the ground as you die very slowly.
Male kangaroos do a very much similar thing as well and I have seen both Emus and 'Roos kill many a dog that way and even nursed a bloke who was attacked by an Emu and had his abdomen ripped open, luckily he was with other people who had the sense to chase the Emu away, wrap his abdomen in Clingwrap and then do a very fast and rapid run to the hospital in time to save his life.
We have a saying here in the Aussie Outback, " NEVER underestimate a 'Roo or an Emu."
@PondartIncbendog Now that is NOT what an Emu looks like, they don't need such armaments, they are an ARMAMENT all of their own.
Just take a good close up look at that middle 'toe' on the Emu and you will see the slashing power it actually has.
Out here we call them " Bush Chooks ( Bush Chickens) because they are crazy as Chickens, as flighty as chickens but even nastier than ANY chicken could ever hope to be.
@Triphid Do you eat them?
@PondartIncbendog Tried Emu meat ONCE, it's very oily, has a very heavy kind of taste to it and IF you eat too much of it it goes through you like a runaway train.
I much prefer Kangaroo meat, no fat, plenty of rich, red meat, protiens, etc, BUT only ever eat the meat from half-grown 'roos because once they reach adulthood the meat gets very tough.
@Triphid are they really? I used to share a house with an old Aussie trucker who had some awesome tales, one was about taking a Pommie trucker up north and telling him about the, ‘killer chooks’ and apparently the Pom was scared to get out of the cab when they stopped on a property with them. By all accounts they were just milling about and safe though.
@girlwithsmiles Yea the 'Bush Chooks' will usualy just miil about UNTIL you approach them or they decide that you are a threat, then they WILL come after you.
They are also a very curious bird, the Aborigines used to catch them by hiding behind a bush and kicking up dust, the Emus would come to see what was causing the dust then the hunters would grab one or two and kill it.
They are also attracted to spot-lights shone from vehicles at night when people are out hunting for rabbits, etc, they will come right up to car by following the beam of the spot-light.
Only the male "Bush Chooks" incubate the eggs and raise the young, once she's laid the eggs the female wanders off, mates with another male, lays eggs again and wanders to do the same thing over and over again.
Rules of Thumb out here in the Aussie outback,
A) Never approach a nesting male Bush Chook,
B) Never go near a male Bush Chook with young around him,
C) IF you startle a male Bush Chook either run like the wind ( depending on how far away he was in the beginning) or hide behind a big tree, climb the tree or hide in a gully out of sight because the male Bush Chooks are very vicious, especially when caring for their young.
@Triphid So,,,eh,,,do they catch their prey in webs?
@Triphid wow, thanks. All stored in the memory banks for emergencies now
@PondartIncbendog No, Emus are BIRDS, bloody BIG birds, they actually make a rudimentary 'nest' on the ground, merely a rough circle shape of of piled up loose soil with a few leaves in the middle.
They are omnivorous and eat vegetation, small lizards, small rodents ( field mice), insects, frogs and even carrion when times are tough as well, BUT they do NOT weave webs.
To my mind all the disease, deformities and calamities out there do not subtract from the wonder of 'creation' if by that word we mean only that which has come to be (no watchmaker required). In fact given the second law of thermodynamics and the precariousness of all life, the wonder is not only that it exists at all but that it seems to be moving toward greater states of complexity entailing greater degrees of freedom. We have no being to thank for that but it is pretty awe inspiring nonetheless.
Or been chased by a bear.
Baby bears give me nightmares.
LOL, and flies. ... Have you thought about what evil plans they are making while rubbing their diseased little "hands" together?
And while they happily re-gurgitate their last meal all over the one you are about to eat as well?
Oooops, sorry might have put someone off their lunch/dinner, etc, with that comment.
Ya'll are scarin me.
How about the multitude of birth defects in humans and propensity for certain maladies built into our DNA.
"All you have to do is look around you and see the diversity of nature's creation!"
Diverse is right. Right down to the pairing of the latest mutations to result in an offspring deformed through no fault of its or its parents' own.
How about the Human race. Biggest mistake of all!
@kasmian We use that "creative prowess" to facilitate our own consumption, construction and destruction, at the ultimate expense to all other creatures. We are the only beings on the planet capable of destroying it, hence the only ones who don't belong!
Yeah, I'd say humans are somewhat akin to a virus in that we spread out, infect everywhere, wreak havoc, destroy the environment and then move on and on again.
@kasmian " But assuming we're a lost cause or a natural, nonredeemable parasite will just doom us." I think that is correct. We are "hoist by our own petard", and, as such are doomed. So what? Man has been here for a couple million years (or less) and are already on the wane. Compared to the dinosaurs, which race is more successful? Two million or 200 million?
@kasmian Hey, honey. I'm 73 years old and have produced 11 albums of good songs, visited 20 countries and lived in 4, worked as a teacher, performer, filmmaker, photographer, have two houses in Spain and one in the U.S., am working on a book, ride a bicycle or exercise every day after triple bypass surgery and I am still struggling to make a noticable dent in this life and still have not "given up" and I'm certainly not a "parasite". I consider how what I do affects others and the planet, which is more than I can say for most people, so you can stow your Polyanna shit. By the way, I still don't understand the world and doubt that anybody does. Let me know when you find out how our species "matters".
it's the absolute dumbest "reason" that the churchies give me and it makes me laugh. the beauty just makes me appreciate nature ... not some man in the sky who judges me. now if they wish to admit that their precious buy-bull is NOT to be taken literally then we can talk.
He's is just not as good as his supposed creation. And according to his supposed book, bats are birds, so he must have lost his notes somewhere.
@Fernapple well, see ... the thing is if they say that "god" is just a black box concept for whatever process created everything then now you have an actual beginning to a belief set. And one that can evolve as understanding evolves. the ignorance of saying it's "some dude named blah" is just gross. I guess they had to do it for those who wouldnt accept things any other way.
@JeffMesser Yes but then if you said that, god is just a black box, then they could not have a special exclusive relationship with it, and then they would be just like everybody else.
That's why I have always called myself a broad church skeptic and respect deism. Because the differences between deist, agnostic, atheist humanist etc, are tiny when compared to those who think that they have an excusive relationship with god/gods and understand its mind. Because when you think that you are superior and entitled. As the 'good' books say you can dash their babies brains out against the rocks, stone them for not respecting your holy day, and cut their heads off for even surgesting you may not know what god thinks.
@Fernapple I enjoy alan watts' explanations of why some people must go through ritualistic bullshit to see the "light". genius.
@Larry-new and I think thats just because back so long ago we could only explain things by cause and effect based on our experiences. we knew that people did things. we had no clue about nature or natural laws. so if something happened it had to be because someone did it.
Well, in ancient Greece, Demons weren't necessarily evil. So it depends on your definition of demonic.
Oh yeah? Who imposes the demonic, evil(tm), interpretation on them? You do. Get your mind out of the underworld. Lol.
I don't imagine they think of themselves as evil. Lol.
For that matter I don't think evil people ever see themselves that way. Hitler, Stalin, Pol Pot, tRump, Marcos -- make a list, there are varying degrees, of course. They all just did what they thought was proper, competing and favoring their people.
@kasmian Then I guess Gawd was a bit too busy to protect the Local Head of the LDS Church here when he suddenly ( ?) developed a bad case of Gonorrhoea about 5 motns ago and managed to pass it on to his unsuspecting wife as well.
That little 'episode' has been the talk of the town ever since btw.
Beauty is in the eye of the beholder. Try imagining what it is like being a male flamingo!
Pelicans are worse!
[snicker] And while we're at it, what about tape worms, liver flukes, and any kind of fly you can think of?
Dragon flies? Damsel flies? Butterflies? Barflies?
Sometimes on lunch some workmates and I, (used to), walk around a lake. One of the group is quite unsettled by birds with black or red eyes. It’s quite amusing really, demonic is the world he uses: not religion, just horror shows and video games’ influence methinks
Tell him if the bird has red eyes, its moving away from you. If it has blue eyes, its moving towards you.
@kasmian could also be cinema and rock music not dnd for this guy! All though there are those in my office that partake
, @PondartIncbendog I’ll try when we’re back, perhaps he’ll understand the reference?