God* not good lol oops

Yes, totally agree. Imagine a woman goes a year without talking about religiousity with her partner, assuming it’s even possible to go that long, and she loves almost everything about her significant other and loves spending time with him and they are inseparable. It’s gonna be hard for her to stop being with him just because he said he doesn’t believe in a god or gods. I could be wrong.

I agree with you in theory, Ashley. Although personally, I find it difficult to actually do that in practice, because many seemingly inconsequential, basic premises in discussion, touch on religiously charged topics. For example... Evolution as a big one. Can't talk about living things without invoking evolution!

Agree. I wait for them to ask rather than telling them.

@hanahbanana Absolutely! I've noticed that anyone with a clue will assume atheism fairly quickly once we become fairly well acquainted. If they don't, and are offended after asking, well too bad for them, I don't hide my lack of belief, don't scream it to the skys either.

Nor do believers. I mean, they don't enter a roomful of strangers and say, "Hi...! My name is Grace, and I believe in the Invisible Man, talking snake, and all sorts of weird off-the-wall shit. Nice to meet you."

It's simply something no one would do at a first meeting. I usually wait until they've noticed that babies are disappearing before I let 'em know.

@Jarucker It might work the other way - your significant other tells you after a year that they're religious! Horror!

@evidentialist - unfortunately I've had loads of people proclaim "I'm a christian!" or even worse (possibly) "I'm a catholic!" at first meetings. Time to take a sly step away.

@Gringo6 -- It's their problem then, isn't it? Until such time as they assail me with one thing or another based upon whatever it is they believe, it doesn't concern me what they believe nor what they think everyone else believes. I don't believe in anything beyond the mundane transient stuff we use to maintain a degree of sanity, so I could care less.

I can’t speak for Ashley, but when I am asked to pray I start with silence like meditation. Then I say the things I hope for the group (I always mention cultivating critical thinking)
Then end with something like “with these good intentions let us move onto dinner” or the meeting or what ever activity I am asked to pray for so people know it is done without the Amen.
No mention of God etc.
People generally stop asking you to pray because it is so weird to them. Kind of gives them an insight into how non-believers feel at a prayer though they may not make that jump.

If people ask about it you can say you subscribe to separation of church and state in your life. Or you feel it’s rude to proselytize your believes outside of your personal time and that’s why you didn’t mention God. This is more of a move to plant the seed that it can be construed as rude to ask people to pray religiously at a public function. That you think of it as rude. Maybe a minority might change their behavior.

@Stevil

@Myah i love this! Thank you!

@Jarucker American Atheists have two documented cases of married Atheists for DECADES pretending to each other to be religious. ...separate postal boxes to receive American Atheist membership mail. ...when both took separate vacations they lied to each other for separate destinations AND MET AT AMERICAN ATHEIST NATIONAL CONVENTIONS instead UN-intentionally. ....one couple expressed joy to end their separate secret lives THE OTHER RESENTMENT OVER THE LIES assuming sexual affairs were also afoot. ...THE DEPTHS OF THE CLOSET ARE FOOLISH fearsome and presumes the worst when honesty is the best policy

I agree with Ashley, once people know you as a moral person who is not sacrificing small children and animals on an altar to the devil they relax. besides it is a good opener to point out we don't worship the devil either!

I generally follow this approach and avoid religion or politics before getting to know someone. However, it is not unusual for me to be asked within the first hour of meeting some about my personal relationship with Jesus Christ.

@Stevil Maybe we should have some sort of form of words to say if we are asked to say grace, like 'We are thankful that we have food before us today, when many others lack it, and we are grateful to those who prepared it for us.'

@ you can do everything right and make one mistake and she'll never let you forget it that's all she'll talk about about everything that you've done wrong that's what happened to me never anything I did what was right

@hanahbanana but they never ask. People just make the assumption that you/me are religious. At least in my experience.

I agree. I also try to make it funny if the subject comes up like "don't crucify me, but..."

I like to start with ”Dear Satan".

@Myah I sometimes pray simlar to you. I quite often do end with the traditional amen, which is just 'so be it' in Hebrew/Arabic. Sometimes Ill just say So be it in English or for variety end with the Pagan/Wiccan So Mote it be.

@GreenAtheist A friend asked his wife if she would be interested in attending Kansas City Oasis sometime, and after reading about it she asked 'Why would I want spend time with Atheists?" His reply was 'You've been married one for decades." Her snide remark hurt him, but she did agree volunteer with out group when we go a ministry 1x a month. Afterward we went out for dinner and drinks, so when she mentioned liking some of us, he dropped another A bomb on her She had assumed the likeable among us were Christian!

@bigfeetmn me too. That’s the hardest part. They just think you’re religious and so then you’re left feeling like, do I bring it up? How do I approach this now?

@GreenAtheist I told my believing wife soon after I "woke up". I was scared but it worked out. But I don't think I'll be telling anyone else for a while. Better to remain quiet than have the church knocking on my door everyday trying to convince me god is real.

@Snake91 yes choose your little battles well in manageable little bites....your loving bride can slowly let go of alleged gawds like our Saturday Night Live hero JUST PAT and all her good works humorously retelling how Catholic parents, hysterectomy a brother's cancer all failed the basic common sense of Atheism admitting the popes and bible gawds never answer prEyers

@CeliaVL exactly the words I've been looking for!

1998 my mom @ age 84 was telling Monica blow job and semen stained dress jokes from the OVAL OFFICE. ...the politics of Billary is never separated from McCarthyism running 70 years now and Red Baiting labor unions for 100 years............... the word Atheism is 2700 years running as the first Greek sailor just kept walking on by temple prostitutes keeping to his destination. ..."Atheos Atheos take your gawds AND SHOVE IT"

@GreenAtheist yes, the scandal pretty much opened Pandora's box. And I still say what a middle aged man ges tup to with another adult (because middle-aged men Never go nuts) is/was none of anybody's beeswax!

@AnneWimsey I agree what Billary won't do what Monica would do in that little open disgusting triangle SHOULD not be national discourse but eyewitnesses from Georgetown Law School to violated widows volunteering in the White House = 27 years a series of sexual predator crimes worse than Harvey Weinstein ....Paula Jones was a 100% victim working for the Arkansas Highway Department ORDERED to Clinton hotel room during a statewide government conference of government employees and his only 2 words to her were: " suck it " with her eyes presented with his open zipper and crooked erect penis in full view. ....and she ran out of the room ....fearing for her job she filed a lawsuit that took 7 years to reach the US Supreme Court. ....Billary should have divorced slick Willie when the Governor was screwing Jennifer Flowers TV anchor in the governors office while Chelsea and Billary were playing outside on the state mansion lawn

@GreenAtheist So, who in the the highway department ordered her to his room? Because of course they would be named in any lawsuit! Consenting adults, one of whom has made a ton of money & a nice career from her " kiss & tell". Unlike a Real victim such as Anita Hill!

@AnneWimsey Clinton himself ordered Paula Jones into the Governor Suite. ....once the US Sup Ct ruled 9-0 a sitting President could be dragged back to Arkansas to testify before the Grand Jury the prosecutor also asked Clinton about "that woman, MS Lewinsky" and slick Willie lied: " I DID NOT HAVE SEX with that woman, MS Lewinsky" he further elaborated the statutory meaning of sex " IS " when his answer was pure dishonesty : " that depends upon what the meaning of WHAT IS, IS"....HE LOST HIS LAW LICENSE IN 1999 FOR 10 YEARS as punishment for perjury before the Grand Jury

@AnneWimsey Monica turned down the Revlon job in 1998 and made purses for a living ever since. ...she was not a consenting adult she was a co-conspirator to unauthorized entry to the White House her co-criminal is Clinton himself lewd and lacivious conduct in a public building while Anita Hill was harassed against her will with Thomas public hair on her Coke can. ....the headline in the newspaper today is: 95% of Hollywood women report harassment or worse in movie industry. ...this social crime must never be excused as "peccadillos"

@GreenAtheist Monica herself, aged 25, Never alleged any force or coercion...where is that idea coming from?

@AnneWimsey the ultimate illegal quid pro quo for illegal sexual favors is between a "intern" and a lawyer President. ...boy Bush has a lower standard because he is not a lawyer demanding sexual favors as TX Governor or POTUS. ...Bill Cosby is innocent compared to the 45 years of lawyer Clinton violation of sexual harassment laws

Hahhha! Great story

It that situation, I would tell the cab driver that he is only responsible for getting me to my current destination. When I go to hell i will probably take the bus or fly. Anything that gets him to shut up about his ignorance would be fine by me if it works. Sometimes they think about your words and your smile and come around. Sometimes.

@prof_braino That's a great response - I'll use it!

Wow, you are brave. If I were alone in a cab with a super religious person, I would never admit to being an atheist. Too many fanatics in this world to take that chance.

The extreme emotional investment is frightening, even when seemingly directed in a benevolent manner. Makes you wonder when that fanaticism might suddenly turn the other way.

When you answered that guy when you said awesome that made me laugh I don't understand these religious people I totally enjoy having all of you all to relate with I used to try to believe that there is an imaginary friend that would watch over me and protect me I was very conflicted about my beliefs about some kind of a imaginary friend that will help the poor bastard but I found out that lies by the way to go because in many cases honesty is a felony

When they ask me to say a meal prayer. I say over the lips, over the gums, look out stomach here it comes! They stop asking me!

@Jmjmis321 I've never been asked to do so, but I'll keep this one for if I ever do!

If i happen to be in a "mischievous" mod, I tell them I am a Pastafarin, with no explanation.
If they push the subject and I want to "rattle their cage" I go into detail about the FSM.

@GoldenDoll
My mother-in-law was raised in a Masonic orphanage. She said some of the boys changed the "god is great" prayer to "Gravy is great, gravy is good, we will eat gravy til we are dead".

If you pay me well I can tell you how to have a lot of friends or did you want me to tell you that for free or maybe send the bill to you you have to have the qualities of a Charming cheerful chickenshit just kidding I wish I had those qualities to play these peoples games

Wow! I can't imagine that. It's weird seeing you having to "come out" as a non believer. There is no stigma here at all and you could never be fired for being an atheist.. (Australia)

@Shreditor1960 This country is free and a very nice place to live, but since the election of Trump and before. . . . Nationalism and religion have come out of the woodwork. I live in a part of America called the Bible belt. 10 churches are within 1 mile of me. Trump supporters everywhere. I dare not say what I believe or I will regret it. A time will come as soon as the young people are older that may change things, but it will be slow. And, you can certainly be fired here with another reason other than atheism. But the atheism will be the real reason.

@kozmic How do you embrace your oddballness. I feel like people think I'm "weird or strange". I isolate because of it. I'm trying to remember I'm unique and other's opinion do not matter but sometimes it's so hard. (To be commenting or actually posting is a major step for me.)

Polly, in your circumstances, you are bravely doing a lot. What you are able to do may make a difference for others.

@tendaheart2 I just love who I am. When people find out, they usually try to convert me. I can not be converted. I just look at them and laugh. . . . and say "Nice try". Mostly I am not invited to the "Reindeer games". It's as if my nose shines red and as I walk into the room, I am accompanied by Satan himself. LOL It's all good. I brought my kids up to either believe or not. 1 believes, 1 doesn't know what to believe, the other 2 are with me all the way. They saw what religion did to my parents. Not going to happen to me. It's just a matter of respect.

Just had two stop by to take a survey on spirituality from a nearby church. Simply told them my spirituality is none of their church's business.

Waterwolfie! Yes ! Exactly. They'll go on and on about their "walk with the lord and other holy crap ! I don't want to be rude or mean. Why do they think its ok to drool their beliefs all over me? It's qawdawful !!!

I need to tell you about my religion if you don't believe what I believe you go to hell!! I better tell you that I'm a hypocrite I enjoy this shit it's fun keep my mind off life

Trump didn't figure much of anything out. He's only a symptom of what is going on in America today.

@DenoPenno He’s president isn’t he?? People in my home town were so disgusted after 8 years of Obama Trump carried 87% of the vote and even higher in some areas.

@Trajan61 People in your hometown must be racist. I don't know WTF else to tell you.

@DenoPenno Hillary Clinton is not black so no I don’t think they’re racist.

@Trajan61 I'm sorry, Trajan. I'm having trouble figuring out how Hillary Clinton fits into this conversation. I thought you were talking about 8 years of Obama. You are not making any sense here.

No one of us should be embarrassed, ashamed, or scared.
Remember that We are right and they are wrong.

tonia: I agree, "no one should be....",but some are.

I am proud being a atheist .

Bingogwak: That's great

I am so sorry. I would never have thought that personal safety would be an issue. Then again I am a large guy and have been told I'm very intimidating, so not much of an issue for me. But to fear for your kids? I've been down that road but never because of religion That sucks.

I totally disagree with you I think you should get good Christian like me!! I'll talk to my imaginary friend and maybe he or she could help you out!! I'm just kidding I've had terrible experiences in every aspect of my life including Christians there are some who do the walking instead of talking but where in the hell are they!?

That is my reply (I'm not religious) to some of my extremely religious relatives. I have known them most of my life - before I was an atheist - value them, know they won't change, and know they don't have long to live.

I agree completely. Saying that you don't believe something is quite different than saying you believe the polar opposite of something. That is an incendiary comment for some 'devout' folks, even though their religion would ask for their patience and acceptance.

I wanted to comment, just didn't know how to put it in words. YOU NAILED IT! Thank you!

Yes, you nailed it!!! The moment you tell somebody that is religious that you are an atheist, they must likely turn around and won't talk to you anymore.

Said I was atheist, was asked why I worship satan.

That hits me like scrapping a nail on a blackboard. I don't know why that bothers me so much.

Same reply I give when people say they will pray for me.."Will you sacrifice a goat as well? That actually works you know."

Oh my gosh! I'm glad I'm not the only one. It depends on the context. I have seen people say that and mean with great sincerity that they want you to have a wonderful day/life/etc. I say, "You too!" to those people. To those who say it as a badge of honor (Chick Fil-A...I'm talking to you!), I say, "What an offensive thing to say!" and walk off. LOL.

Or when someone tells you bless you when you sneeze...

I like this as it reminds me of saying "non-denominational" so that they enquirer may double-take at the reply.

lolz Ronald

It's my favourite, I've used it many times.

PERFECT.!!! Thank you !

We once had a tiny atheist organization in town. Several years ago most decided they would try out the "Unitarian Chruch" to increase the size of the social group. I followed the group to the Unitarian church only once. While there I had a long and adversarial discussion with two of the church’s Unitarians (they were members and held paid positions in the church) who also happened to be theists adhering to the Jewish faith. I was not polite and forced them to defend (Judges 11:29-40) in short, Jephthah kills and Burns His (virgin) daughter to fulfil his promise to Yahweh. And yes, they both defended the morality of their god having Jephthah burn his daughter because their god likes the smell of burning flesh.

@NoMagicCookie that sucks. For the most part I found u.u to be great. In raleigh our minister was an agnostic, the associate minister was pagan. Most of the congregation didn't give a shit what anyone believed. We have no crosses or bibles in our church .

@Kojaksmom Think it was Jen Peoples on The atheist experience (worth watching most all episodes) did a very good review of UU. It is long, well reasoned, and for the most part concluded UU is not a positive influence.

@NoMagicCookie I'm sure that's true for some. I found some atheist to be the biggest assholes that I've ever met. I found other atheists that are the most amazing people. If your church makes you feel like s*** it's not the right one. There are reasons why I appreciate the Unitarian Fellowship in Raleigh.so far I've been really happy with it. And no I do not believe in God or the bible and I hate most organized religions.

some of us actually are card carrying members of the Humanist Association. It's worth examining their position.

@Flettie OF COURSE! You'd be doing them a favor!

Good idea, but some need a direct answer. I have family, who after 40 years of rejecting their views still did not recognize my views. In that case I just had to tell them I was a step thing Agnostic. It worked, and they never bring it up again.

@Carolina You don't suppose they think you're in a CULT?

I had a lady tell me "you don't look like an atheist!" Like, what does atheist look like? Lol

@Minta79 most Atheists I see for the first time look alert, undazed and interested in reality while most believers I see for the first time hang crucifixes in their cleavage or act dominant like TrumpOLINI shoving religion down people's throats....believers are capable of great violence while most Atheists seem involved in good businesses or are active problem solvers.... prEyer never solved a single problem

yes, courts and civil rights workers are slow if not refusing to protect Atheist workplace rights... I agree it is best to hide Atheism from bigots at work so that they ASSUME you are as stupid as they are

So it's not a good idea to say "your religion is a load of crap, and so are you" even if they're not addressing me?

@bingst It's a great idea!..... Not ?

@thislife Still doesn't keep me from thinking it, no matter how hard I have to bite my tongue.

@bingst I know. It's so frustrating that nonsense is the "norm".

pardon, mam, but I can't help but say "God bless you!" ha-haaaah ! ! !

I think that you have the best approach. I respect people who can approach believers who you disagree with and treat them the same way you do with someone you agree with.

I have found the same. Practicing kindness, compassion, generosity, etc., is both the right thing to do for our fellow human beings and it seriously gives folks pause who have been taught that the godless are wicked. When they discover that that isn't the case - by finding out that someone who is obviously kind-hearted isn't a theist at all - well, that undermines the bigotry against us and may sometimes get some people thinking even more broadly about whether the Christian stories make sense.

I lost my Mom 10 years ago, she too was a devout believer, there came a point when there was nothing left to do but to humor her and relieve her stress. I attended church with her once or twice. it made her happy.
I never spoke to her about my skepticism and spoke to her in her Christianese language. I held her hand when she was passing and I told her to greet my dad and siblings for me, and she passed away peacefully.
Sometimes love and compassion just calls for humoring people and meeting them on their own level.

My mother too was devout and nagged me relentlessly about believing! Going to church was mind numbingly boring! To much hypocrisy for me! Went to church a few times from guilt but watched as it was more important for her lady friends to see me there than any benefit for me. My biggest realization was, I’m the only one that can make me feel guilty so........thankfully I stopped going to churh

@Donna. Yes that last sentence is what I believe too.

I live in california. A lot more of people are atheist around me at least.

Bingogwak: Do you live in northern or southern Cali?

Same here in SC. everybody says have a blessed day in stores or businesses. I know they mean well so I try to ignore them.

Guess I don't have enough points to actually write a response yet. That's too bad because I've read a few of your posts. Let;s see if this one goes through.

HAHA! Zany

You have a very important job!

Wow, I didn't know that people would get deported if they admit to being Atheist. Even if you're visiting?

No that was back in 1990 when the government fell apart in Albania and Greeks wanted to bring the minorities in to supposedly help them but if you were to have a non christian name or be an atheist or generally non orthodox they'd find a way to deport you. Now things are considerably different but still very difficult to get your papers. For example I still have family that are trying to get their papers after 25 years there with their children born there that they've legally changed their names to be christian sounding including their last names leaving nothing of their former selves to be recognized by fighting for their rights. It used to be worst but it's still pretty bad. As about visiting, as long as you have money to spend you're fine: ) just don't get into any discussion about Macedonia lol

Wow, thank you for that information! I learn something new every day.

????

That’s my favorite approach. The questions.

Don't I know it. I get told you have to believe, were do you get your morals from if you don't believe? Ask why if a dog does he allow the bad to happen if all knowing all powerful why does he not stop it? I get told he gives us free will. Then they tlk about gods will you are to do what her has planned for you. Ok we either have free will or their gods will or plan one of the other. If it does nothing if real then is either not loveing or kind, or is not all knowing and all powerful. Does this make sense to any of them. Then you about 80% of you think the right religion is the one you were raised in. As babies we are forced into the religion of our parents as they were. Scared to question anything about it. You live around the same people with the same religion and are scared to question any of it. You ever think that is how all of them are scared to question god even being real! God if real let people die of so many things now that science has found a way to cure. sorry those who believe are like in a cult just because its a wide spread mental illness does not make it right!

I have a long white beard and dozens of idiot believers just walk up to me b4 and after xmas expecting me to explain Santa delivery mis-delivery. ....I say I treat the whole world the same we are all born Atheists and children should be protected from not brainwashed into any religion

When the discussion progresses to that point I ALWAYS reply "I find no evidence to support the assertion that there is a god." This places the burden of proof that there is a god in their lap. - - for a few I have seen this statement begins the process of questioning exactly why they believe in their god as, (with your guidance of establishing the rubric of testable evidence is) they can find not testable evidence to support their (specific) god claim.

@NoMagicCookie idiot say “the Bible is proof”. When you ask “where” they clam up.

I expect respect Capital A Atheist Noun not adjective xian Webster false definition plus he insults Thomas Paine

@GreenAtheist Come again?

@RoboGraham xians mis-define Atheism falsely and insult Deist Thomas Paine in the same line of their dictionary

No there was no Jesua Nasoret nor "christ" crucified. ... it is all a fake story morphed from Roman soldier MITHRA cults....bragging a mommy is a virgin is similar to "slew 42 thousand with the jawbone of an ass" bible bragging does not make any story true just as zero alleged gawds exist the non-word is pure gibberish ....a referent without object the alleged god/s YHWH Jehovah GhostHoles Geebush is are 100% irrational delusion inside the heads of cult victims

@GreenAtheist I am really curious...You say there is no historical evidence that "Jesus" lived? I thought there were a lot of eye witnesses. Am I wrong? Is there something I am not seeing? (By the way, I went to 12 years of Catholic school, so my sense of history is not too good.)

@DevraisA1 Romans left copious records of political trials and crucifixions.....the so called gospels are at least 90 years after the alleged "fact" and all contradict each other. ...surviving a crucifixion would be a great miracle and awesome news. ...waiting a century or more to tell such a long chain of magic tricks is complete bullshit.....most religious writings from India to Egypt over 600 years are copycat bragging bullshit like virgin birth and stars foretelling great predictions. ...all bullshit .....we Atheists for 28 centuries have been "just saying no" to temple prostitutes and unarmed sages. ..."Atheos" means stuff your alleged gawds up your ass. ...I am free not a believer of any kind