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Dating after 50

Is it just me, or is dating after 50 a nightmare?

It seems like almost everyone is so religious, which narrows the pool significantly.

Then out of those who are left the majority fall into one of these categories: looking for a nurse/care giver,
looking for someone MUCH younger to recapture their youth or REPUBLICAN

Then of the 10 people in your region that are left...you don't like 5 and the other 5 don't like you.

OYE! I think I just need a gay best friend to do things with and a new vibrator.

Crimson67 8 Jan 6
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341 comments

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10

Ha,
I decided that it's not worth the hassle anymore.
But I do have girls that are friends, and they are a lot more interesting and fun than the friends of mine that are guys...

4

I don't fit that humorous analysis @ 65 I like all liberal Atheists if only one would choose me LOVE WILL BE VIVACIOUS for 50 more years

4

I'm writing as a 58 year old married man; I window shop bit I don't buy! What I observe in the folks in my neighborhood is that people "showing signs of being in the game" fare well.

please explain.

I've noticed a difference after dealing with WAW.
Self help, self improvement. How to dress, how to carry yourself, smile, chat up everyone you meet out and about to be better socially. Lots of videos on youtube for free. Dressing better and right fitting clothing has been most noted difference in getting attention!
Husbands of WAW make great 2nd husbands, her loss, did my work.

@zeliasgrand @witchymom @sassygirl3869 All of that plus clothes that fit, hair that works, or, generally speaking, shows signs of life. We all had to learn this in Junior High, and we may need to re-learn it while getting mail from AARP.

@BlueWave @witchymom walk away wife actual syndrome.

@andygee You hit the nail on the head. Hope some people understand this. When people just give-up and don't care about their appearances anymore they're just no-longer "in the game" (why was that confusing?). It's that simple. Get rid of the excess weight (actually, it's easy), get some nicer clothes, pay attention to the things you paid attention to when you really WERE hot! People will notice. Good things will happen. That's a promise.

3

I agree, and I'm okay with it.

15

Oh so agree with you. Met someone a couple of months ago-political activist-very excited-no time for a relationship lol. Others are trumpsters and conservative. A lot of my relationships have been with younger guys so the ones near my age don't like heavy metal and grunge. It's a conundrum out there.

reminded me my ex-wife going to a concert of the band my daughter was managing... industrial metal.... she said It Was Too Loud!!!!

Metal and Grunge,.... I think at least 2/3 of my CD collection falls into those two categories. Rest is 80s 'New Wave'.

@Crimson67 I couldn't do that... one of my daughters will kill her. I am not joking.

@Crimson67 Well a cougar is better than a dirty old man, Bwahaha.

I prefer the term "Naughty Hobo" as it captures my spirit (lol) better.

I like grunge, rock, et, Is what keeps me young and alert

@Silvertongue Older men dating much younger women are only pervs or predators if they're POOR.
But the wealthy ones can date anyone!
Ugh.

2

hahahahaha

12

I disagree. Im 56, I’m not looking for a nurse, I’d rather not recapture my youth and I’m definitely not republican. But, crap, I live in Texas.

Just move to Minneapolis. Lots of middle aged, educated liberal women here. You will soon have to call the police to fight off all the women chasing you and beating down your door. 🙂

I’ll have to remember that. @SusanHilde

I wish you lived in California.

5

haha! It is brutal out there....I am an actual care giver, which makes relationships difficult. I am at the point now that I feel that 'alone time' is fine by me. I live in a pretty 'liberal' city, so republicans aren't really a problem, but the women I meet all seem to be trying to recapture their youth by partying, or are the 'living for the weekend' type...9-5 five days a week, complain about work, bust loose on the weekend, suffer on monday, repeat...I am 49...so maybe things will change in 8 months...hehe

I couldn't see trying to start a relationship when I was a caregiver.

@bingst you aren't kidding...it has to be someone who will be willing to spend a lot of nights at home...specifically, my home...haha...I was in one for about 2 years and it didn't work at all...constant stress...I tried to split my time, but I wounded up being mildly neglective to both my ex and my charge...didn't realize it until after the relationship...

22

Dating after is a nightmare. I read an article before I initiated my divorce that for women over 50, men were looking for "nurses with purses". I did it anyway. And yes, I live in a conservative Republif**k state, so the pickings are slim for a radical, liberal, hippie chick.

I have never heard that before "nurses with purses". Thank you, You have made me laugh, because there are men like that. I am not one of them.

10

It's not just you. But I think it was really always a nightmare; we just didn't know we had a choice when we were younger. Plus, younger people are more flexible, because they haven't solidified who they are yet.

skado Level 9 Jan 6, 2018

@witchymom Yep. Too soon old and too late smart.

You speak the truth. Also, I now find that I just don't want to waste any time on relationships or even friendships that are not healthy for me or just take up time. In my youth I would never actively terminate a friendship (maybe avoid them🙂 but not terminate....I confess that after 50 I have terminate friendships in which I no longer felt compatible in. This leaves me more precious time to be with those I truly care about.

1

Sounds like you've got the statistics figured out. Really narrows things down doesn't it. What are we going to do!?

2

Sounds like you've got the statistics figured out. Really narrows things down doesn't it. What are we going to do!?

Lol, indeed. Porn and my imagination along with stimulation will be about the extent of it lol!
Did I just verbalize that? Oh well...we can dream 🙂

1

Dating at age 29 is a nightmare. I don't date anymore.

don't give up... you just too young to say that.

3

I'm over 50 and religion isn't much of a problem in finding dates. BTW @witchymom, if you were closer I'd love to date you.

@witchymom lol your 5/5 original thread reference here!

3

Hi, my name is jimmy, I am from sw missouri. I agree 100 percent. I have applied to dating sites and such, but most are scams, even posted on craigslist and got a bunch of spam email from other dating sites. I am so tired of this crap, just once I would like to meet someone with like interest. I am liberal, non smoker, non drinker, not religious, a few extra pounds. I hate living in Republicanville

1

yes I agree with you.
I am a very small Slim person and I cannot find many people my size or smaller
because nowadays so many people are overweight. I look for people on this website
T-shirt size medium or less.

dc65 Level 7 Jan 6, 2018

@zeliasgrand You're not understanding my comments completely I am open-minded
I prefer person that is smaller than me just because physical
attraction is part of finding a partner there things in a
relationship that are more important communications is probably
the most important thing and willingness to compromise when
you don't agree with your partner. Also common interests
are very important. When I filled out the questionnaire
on this website I put physical traits were somewhat important
I hope this clarifies my position for you

@witchymom You're not understanding my comments completely I am open-minded I prefer person that is smaller than me just because physical attraction is part of finding a partner there things in a relationship that are more important communications is probably the most important thing and willingness to compromise when you don't agree with your partner. Also common interests are very important. When I filled out the questionnaire on this website I put physical traits were somewhat important I hope this clarifies my position for you

@dc65

  1. Tip: Never mansplain.
  2. Be what you want to attract.
  3. Be you, be happy and screw what other people think or say.

Note:
Trolls come in all shapes and sizes of which you cannot please them all.

5

You'll just have to start dating younger men. 😀

ha ha ha ... like how much younger??? When I took my trip to Egypt, I got propositioned by a dude 23 years my junior ... I told him that he needed to find a young woman his age. He exclaimed "But I LOVE older women!" Here at home, I was in the public library and a dude 30 years younger than me tried to pick me up. Again I said "You need to find a woman your own age - lots of older women do not have those urges anymore." He replied "Older women are sexy!" Yep - older women have sexy checkbooks. LOL .... lol

7

I am right there with you! My young gay friend (an awesome set up, BTW) moved to Brazil!

My attempts at dating lead to guys seeking: instant sex (I am not a by-the-third-date sort), instant marriage, instant bank account, or instant mom. The nonbeliever and left leaning thing further hurts my chances as does a general (at least with who I've encountered so far) male fear of widows (the whole cannot-compete-with-a-ghost thing). News flash! Late hubs ain't coming back, AND shall forever remain 42.

I figure I will see how it goes once my nest empties. A change in geography might be in order...

Zster Level 8 Jan 6, 2018

My 17 YO is a terrific travel buddy for me, too. He got big and muscular in 2014. I can venture ANY where with him and not be harrassed. (;

@Crimson67 Once your son flies the nest??My sons 33 we call him a boomerang.He's come back twice.We're thinking of moving 30 miles away.we need to have some fun in our later years before we're to old.I don't think we are going to give him our new address.

I have not experienced the "fear of widows" thing. Were you serious about that? - Devrais

@DevraisA1 Very. There is significant subset of the male population, possibly a very insecure set, who claim it's not worth trying to compete with a beloved ghost. I figure they are doing me a huge favor by not wasting my time.

3

Gay guys make awesome friends ! There's always women too ...

I think - from my experiences, is that while the internet helps us meet people we wouldn't have met otherwise - it also allows everyone with a computer to participate , which means you have to sort through many more people, scammers, nutsos, and other totally inappropriate humans !

Not easy - no.

@witchymom doubles your chances ... (grin), but I understand.

@witchymom for the right woman I will make believe gay guy... just make believe mind you. he, he, ha, he.

@GipsyOfNewSpain yeah ... good luck with that

@evergreen I know... I kind of know I will fail badly there. In college I was like the "secret keeper" for about 8-10 girls. No gay around. Then too late later I was accused of just being a spy in the house of love... I collected all needed data to steal someone's heart.

2

where do you live?? lol

I live in New York.

3

And to religious add an accent such as mine; they run as far as they can...LOL

11

That's the nice thing about vibrators. They don't nag for sandwiches, they don't snore, and they never make you sleep in the wet spot (unless you want to-your choice). I've always said that when girls turn 15, they should be given a vibrator and a lifetime supply of Duracell batteries.
It would eliminate SO much aggravation for them.

There in lies the issue. Men speak explicitly, like in giving dog commands (sit, fetch, rollover).
Women speak elicitly and men are clueless.
Been there, done that, not getting married again.
Say what you mean, mean what you say, speak directly and to the point. Problem solved.

Thanks to you ladies my STOCK in Duracell has tripled in the last 4 years. but honestly at the same time MY JOB has been farmed out....so ...???

Yep, vibrators are nice ... a vibrator never talks back, is too tired or out of town! I claim not to be overly attached to my vibrator, but last Valentine's Day I sent it two dozen roses. 🙂

@SKH78 ?

4

I wouldn't know. I couldn't get a date if I were the last man on earth. Mostly because I'm only interested in men, so there's that. But I haven't done a lot of dating. In fact, the only guy to recently ask me out only did so after the telephone pole turned him down.

3

Instead of a gay friend, I've turned my dating frustration/failure to friends without benefits. I have two women who I just hang out with.

1

Don't lose faith of what your charms could bring. I know is getting rough but it will get better. I am sure I am not alone but I decided years ago never to date again. There was nothing new I was going to find and all my sex bucket list been rewritten and redone to my satisfaction. There was no new tricks to learn or new arguments to bring up. Then I decided one day to give it a new "go" just because I could and someone that burned the candle so much by both ends never extinguish the fire. The fact and I hate to say this because I am quite of old fashion for some things but... I have never seen a viagra pill in my life. That fact brings a smile to my face that I never expected to have. I am the same old me of always. We are out there, maybe hidden on an unwanted relation, maybe bringing ourselves back to health, maybe like me looking without searching. I am not going to be the answer to everyone. But all I need is getting it Right once. Odds are on my favor... Just as in the favor of everyone of you Ladies. And yes I am twice retired, well experienced and plenty available but for the Right One... Not for everyone. I never been every answer to every woman so why be now? Just as You Ladies. Never, Ever Lower Your Standards!!! I never had. I never will and happy staying in my lane.

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