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How do you deal with Door-knockers?

Whether they be Witnesses, Mormons, or another proselytizing religion, how do you deal with people coming to your door to spread their religion?
I just had my first experience since getting a place of my own and had a decent conversation through the crack in my door. After I told him I was an atheist he tried to use apologetics; when I told him I was familiar with his arguments and didn't find them convincing further explaining that I take a scientific route of belief and chose not to believe until there is evidence for a god. He understood and thanked me for explaining and listening to him and he left with a handshake. I was surprised at myself for how civil I was to him but how does everyone else usually respond?

Nicsnort 6 Oct 14
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783 comments (26 - 50)

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8

I used to get very annoyed in my youth, but now I can carry on nice conversations about anything but religion. The last encounter I had was a group of women. I told them right away that I wasn’t interested, but them complimented one lady on her pretty dress. We ended up getting into a very nice conversation about all kinds of things except religion. So I guess my tactic is: be nice and divert. Lol

8

Generally I'll listen to their pitch. Observe their body language, tone. After listening for a bit I'll tell them I'm agnostic and gauge their response, and how they adjust their technique.

I then grade them silently like I'm judging a competition.

I don't let them in my home, either.

8

It depends on what kind of mood I am in. If I am wearing my Mickey Mouse T-shirt, I will patiently listen to them, take a copy of their reading material and thank them for "sharing"
If not...I listen to them, nod in the affirmative, ask questions to make them think I am about to become a believer and then tell them "Nah..I'm good.

If I am feeling naughty, I will listen to them with a confused look on my face and then ask them something uncomfortable, like.."what does your faith teach about masturbation?"

@LetzGetReal I figured it would get them to praying hard or running!!???

7

I was in a gas station once buying snacks and drinks for me and the kids. I said to the person behind the counter why did she give me a Lotto ticket, you can't win if you don't play. And she said I don't play the Lotto you wanna know why?(I know I should have said no but I didn't)I said sure why not. And she said, if my god wants me to have $1,000,000 then he'll give me $1,000,000. And I said that's fine I'm an atheist. And she said, if you're Devil want you to have $1,000,000Then he'll give you $1,000,000. And I said, no you don't understand, I'm an atheist. I know she didn't understand what I was saying. But I think it's a great story. It's just not worth arguing with a sick mind.

7

If your gods wants to tell me something s/he should know how to contact me. I do not deal with intermediaries!

7

If you get the point where they start sending the "big guns" out... ask them to verify the following: All life came from Adam & Eve, correct?.. They say "yes". Then say Adam & Eve had two sons, Cain & Abel, correct?"...and they say "Yes".... then say, "Well where did their WIVES come from?".... that usually sends them packing.

Fryan Level 5 June 1, 2018
7

I used to live way out in the country...On Fridays Jehovah witness kids would visit....they did this all summer and Ioved it....Mainly because I could drink my beer and converse....lol.....

Wezzy Level 4 May 29, 2018
7

Depends on my mood and my perception. Sometimes you can see them sizing up the paintwork, the veranda furniture, your clothes/jewellery and you know they are sharks patrolling the gullible pool. Other times they are genuine folks just out to do some good in the world. I had a couple of kids (early twenties) recently who simply asked if I had any chores I needed help with and made no attempt to evangelise/preach etc, and another guy who deeply appreciated the chance to sit in the shade with a cool drink for a while and have a bit of a break/chat. In my opinion, we need to be aware of the sharks, the parasites and the unbalanced zealots, but also to remain aware that there are good people out there who are struggling to get through life and make a positive impact on their way, just like we are.

Well said 😉

7

I just say "not interested" and close the door...BUT once my Aunt invited them into her home and told them..."Ill go to church with you if you go to the bar with me and well get drunk together"....they never came back!!

7

As a twelve year old in Britain, I once answered the door to Mormons and said the first thing that came into my head: "We're all communists here." They positively fled.

My brother-in-law invites God-botherers in for a cup of tea and very politely demolishes any argument they care to present. I tried something similar, again in Bllighty, and invited one (a Jehovah's Witness?) in for a meeting of the minds. I knew it was a lost cause when he told me in all seriousness that, following whatever passes for the Rapture within his sect, the land would be rolled back - taking with it the nuclear power plants and their long-long-lasting and unstable radioactive core that I'd expressed concern about - to reveal a bright, newly minted Eden. Ghost Dancers of the 1890s had the same (in their case, desperately) wishful solution to the fatal encroachment of Europeans and the near-genocidal tactics of the US army.

7

I usually tell them I don't have time and they go away. Once one of them answered me "How can you not have time for the one that created time?" I just laughed and closed the door.

Alexa Level 5 May 16, 2018
7

My father has used to ask, and this only works for believers in Jesus, "what can you tell me about the Council of Nicea?" And when they inevitably replied... "what?" He'd tell them to look it up and come back.

Awesome Dad, right there!

7

I tell door-knockers that my husband doesn't allow me to talk to people at the door. I am not married and I am the master of my domain, but this always gets the religious solicitors to leave quietly, since they approve of women's subjugation to men.

7

I have a sign on on my door that says:
Door knockers please note: This household charges $50.00 per minute to listen to sales pitches, religious messages, political views and fundraising stories. This charge is payable in advance. By knocking on any entry door, you signal your agreement to the terms outlined above.
Needless to say, I don't get many interruptions from door-knockers. My friends and family love it.

haha interesting. If I were going to do that, I might choose $2.00 per minute. I might actually make some cash!! 😛

7

I have always wanted to stockpile some atheist literature to give them.

7

I tend to be civil to these people. Most people with a religion different to theirs are rude and confrontational. I like to point out I have no religion, but leave them confused that I was polite and welcoming to them.

Very good I like That

7

I tell them "no thank you, I'm a practicing Witch and a feminist. Blessed be." And nicely shut the door.

7

When they ask if I can spare a minute to talk about their Lord and savior Jesus Christ, I invite them in and say, "Sure, I'm happy to help. What is it you'd like to know?"

7

Answer the door and be cordial. Then, for no explained reason, look up in the air and talk to your dead mother like she is bugging you about something. then go back to their conversation. Mom, may interrupt again. Talk to her. by the third time, they usually leave shaking.

7

I have this little notice posted on my front door:

Never Mind The Dog . . . BEWARE OF THE OWNER

7

I've always been cordial. I say no thank you, I'm an athiest and they just go oooh ok bye. Lol

7

I used to be cordial and invite people in but it became uncomfortable getting rid of them so I resorted to quickly saying I wasn't interested and when asked why not simply replied that I didn't want to talk about it. I used to live a short distance from a mormon temple and would on occasion get a missionary come by to try to convert me that I thought I got good at rejecting but one day when the bell rung when I opened the door to see five young girls well three young girls in their teens and two young girls about 10 or 12 maybe younger standing there all dressed in their sunday best all holding their bibles smiling and grinning at me in anticipation I burst out in uncontrolled laughter. I felt so badly for them and still do to this day for having humiliated and rejected at such a young age by my heathen pagan self such hopeful, willing souls to bring the heathens to god.. It was all I could do to just say I'm sorry and quickly and quietly close the door. I was so ashamed but still giggling gleefully. So I guess laughing in their faces works. It'd be hella funny to someday somehow hear the horror story of one of their first attempts at missionary work and this asian dude laughed us off his porch. So there ya have it. Hope ya learned something or were at least entertained. It's all true!! LMAO

SamL Level 7 Oct 15, 2017

I'll drink to that

7

I invite them in if I have time, then I close the door behind them and block it. You see I am 6 foot 5 inches tall and about 250 pounds they aren't getting out unless I let them. Once the door closes then my fun begins. Very few ever come back.

Oh, that is hilarious!

6

I don’t answer the door, someone knocking on my door is such an anomaly that is freaks me out (I live in the woods on 8 acres). My back up plan is what my old boss used to do - answer the door naked with a beer in hand.

6

(opens door)
(before they have a chance to talk I ask...)
Do you have time to talk about our dark lord Satan?
He gave us knowledge from the tree instead of keeping us ignorant.
He accepts all sinners instead of rejecting them.
He is the definition of unconditional love. ❤️? ❤️? ❤️?
Lmao that should be enough to make the scurry away

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