It's not funny or interesting, but I just tell them that I am not interested, and it's true, I am not. I have too many things to do, or to read.

Gees now I want to get a door knocker alone and ask for their stories!

Hide!

I have a no soliciting sign that specifically says "no religion." I still get them now and then. I make them read the sign, then educate them that they need to be spending their time helping others not bothering people like me. I had to start being rude because when I first moved in they were coming 3-4 times a week. It's not like I couldn't find a church if I decided to go.

I had an experience with the mormons. I invited them in, my family apologized in advance (said they felt bad for the mormons), and I asked a lot of questions. They told me they had a curfew, and had to leave. I got a free copy of the book of mormon. I kept it as a momento for a while

I'm female. The Mormons wouldn't leave me alone until I got a boyfriend and he moved in, and told them to go away and never return. They said they respect the man of the house.

I'd gotten the suggestion at the time though to get a copy of The Satanic Bible and read it to them with my hand pushing up into the air over their heads. I was darned tempted...

Depends on my will to talk, sometimes I have better arguments than them, and they must resort on faith and misery to protect themselves against the doubts that I try to incept.

I got Mormons only once. I said " Heretics " and shut the door in their face. There seems to be a lot of Witnesses around here. Refusing to engage in conversation at all is the answer. Now, if I wanted to have a little fun with the knockers, I'd ask if they would like to do my ironing as they talked under the condition that when the ironing was done, they were done. That was 30 years ago and I never did it again. They couldn't iron for shit. I keep my front door locked at all times. It's mostly glass, so I keep a baseball bat right there. Don't open the door. My pat answer is " I would rather be eaten by wolves". That is a phrase that comes in handy with telephone sales people, too.

I keep it short and simple. I let them introduce themselves and tell me why they are at my door. Then I say "I'm not a believer" (adds "have a good day" while closing door).

I am trying to buy a house soon and thought that as a homeowner I should have a new strategy. This is what I have concocted and I hope it works. As soon as they knocked on my door and I opened to see that they're preaching, I fall on my knees and start praising Jesus. Thank you Lord so much for sending these fine young men in answer to my prayer you know my health is bad and I could never tend to Garden Alone. With the government constantly stealing from me and having very little money you know I rely on his garden so much..... ( I basically go on like this for 5 more minutes) and then very abruptly I tell the boys follow me. I point to about a 20 by 20 foot patch of grass and then I hand each of them a hole and a shovel.... that shouldn't take very long and I will bring you a glass of ice water in just a few minutes. Go ahead and get started.... then I walk in the back door and ignore them until they either finish or just wonder off.....????

**I told some Catholic guys from the church accross the street NO to bother me with their propaganda. They ignored my nice request and placed pamnphlets under my door. Not only I picked said "literature" and gave back to them....but I called the police and told the cops a bunch of people were "soliciting". They were removed from the building.

I was a door knocker for many years. I hated doing it but it was a requirement. Now, Jehovah's Witnesses will not come to my door because they all know me as an "apostate". They are afraid I will infect them with my "satanic lies". They really are a silly, brainwashed bunch.

Depends on how I feel at the moment
If a bit "mischievous", I will play with their head for a few minutes.
If not, I just tell them I am an atheist. Sometimes they look like they have seen satin in person. Other times, they start their conversion speech, in which case iI say good bye, and close the door.

I've have store bought door knockers but I like to think I am can build them even better that the store bought ones

If a religious group comes to my door, I plan to tell them im an athiest and slam the door in front of them.

I think Mormon missionaries have discontinued what they called "tracting"... Door-to-door cold calls. Today if they show up at your door it's likely because a member referred you.

Answer the door naked

Every human has the right to express and to preach their belief system. After all, what the object would be if you don't let the whole world know that you are of the X kind? Respectfully explain to them that you have chosen a different path to Destinus.

About once a year I would get a visit from some Sky Fairy addicts, not sure of the particular 'brand' of 'dogma drugs' they were peddling. The man was a huge guy and his partner was black woman. When they ring the bell I simply walk to the door...look them straight in the eye...and close it. No muss...no fuss...no drama. That leaves them to stand there fumbling with their papers. I'm not going to listen to their juvenile answers when pressed about some grand plan they use to keep the conversation going round and round in circles. I know this because when I was younger I would engage them. These days my time is more valuable to me than arguing with weak minds that have lost their critical thinking skills.

I like to teach them about the Bible. But for some reason they quit coming.

I normally use them or the front door bell

But in the spirit of the question, my front door seems to be difficult to find so if someone did actually get to my front door they've probably earned a coffee lol

We have a sign by our door, specifically telling them that we do not welcome proselytizing. It explains that we have studied the texts and come to our own conclusions and we don't need their help. That usually does the trick. If that fails or the sign gets blocked somehow (it happens), I simply reiterate what is on the sign. It is quick, simple, and there are no arguments from them. I see no need to be unfriendly or slam doors, although answering the door in some provocative manner would be fun.

Greet them with a smile and explain to them that I am not interested and bid them a good day. I see no reason to be mean or rude. They are clueless and have been convinced that they are doing a good thing.

If I have the time and energy (I am disabled) I will tell them I don't believe in God (honorific capitalization used only when speaking to someone who believes, in fact or in theory), but I will listen to their statement and even debate with them in a friendly manner as long as they do not continue to proselytize. Eventually they go away, hopefully a little wiser.

This seems to work...