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How many times have you felt like you were in love? (Please don’t respond with statements about how love is different for everyone or that we really don’t know what love is.). At 57 I can say I have been in love 4 times (and also lived with a man I couldn’t force myself to love). I have the capacity for it...just have to find him!

  • 9 votes
  • 6 votes
  • 9 votes
  • 4 votes
  • 9 votes
  • 2 votes
EyesThatSmile 8 Aug 16
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23 comments

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5

Only once. I didn't know what love was , until I met that one .

Cast1es Level 9 Aug 16, 2020
4

Four times. I married three of them. My first girlfriend died from a horseback riding accident on her 17th birthday. I still feel some remnants of that love for all of them.

OldGoat43 Level 9 Aug 16, 2020

Wow.. that must have been a significantly tragic day. 😢

3

I'm old so 4 is really not a large number for someone my age.

Lorajay Level 9 Aug 16, 2020

Particularly if you have 15 children as did my grandmother who died 30+ years before I was born.

3

What I felt like love was not love. It was ignorance and stupidity. It was because I had never been close to a woman before.

But some people seem to be falling in love continuously. They must have magic powers. And there are some who are holding out the hope late into '50s, '60s and complain that men or women they met were lousy.

St-Sinner Level 9 Aug 16, 2020
3

I had to pick "4" in your poll. But in addition to those, I've had a couple of really strong infatuations that made me crazy for a while.

mischl Level 8 Aug 16, 2020
3

Problem I have only been in love once, but I thought that I had been in love 3 times. Was wrong twice.

Detritus Level 7 Aug 16, 2020
3

I've loved some wonderful men. Although I've had my heart broken a few times, I don't regret loving any of them. Every heartbreak has taught me some important lesson.

Wildflower Level 8 Aug 16, 2020
3

Not bad for a old timer

bobwjr Level 10 Aug 16, 2020
2

Met a girl the first day in a new school, 6th grade. Something about her just resonates for me. I never had the courage to get to know her, shot myself down. Regretted that most of my life. Got to reunite through Facebook, while I was married. We met and spent a day together, wife included, and I got to say what I should have said all along. Hey, you are pretty great. That was something I had regretted not doing. Obviously no expectations, was not sabotaging my marriage. But she appreciated it and it gave her the courage to reach out to her high school crush and they seem happy together.

Like I said, I was shy, and when I met my wife, she was dating a couple of my friends. Her father felt her not being exclusive would prevent her marrying too young. She was promised to marry one of them after she graduated. One day she asked me why I had never asked her out and what seemed like a safe avenue to explore dating slowly grew into more. Life happened, she hid an addiction to alcohol from me because we did not really socialize like that. So I never expected to look for it, just thought we were growing apart. Once I found out, I bent over backwards to get her to engage with any kind of help and she would not. I reluctantly gave up on someone I still loved, because I could not trust her any more.

Needless to say, I still want love and that special best friend. I resent it canno longer be that lifelong best friend, and I am trying to keep my trusting nature alive and well in the face of internet dating.

I can relate to missing out on that lifetime shared memories. Through moving around and different relationships, I tend to look at my life as chapters of a book not yet finished.

2

I'm gonna answer like a hand in spades.
Two and a possible. Lol.
Not certain of what my feelings were on the possible. Many years ago the memory is cloudy. 😁

Unity Level 7 Aug 16, 2020

It is wise to forget the detail - just remember the principle!

2

3 times to 3 very different men from one another. All 3 tall but different in character and I learned from each one. The first two were heartbreaking lessons.

The third one I'm with right now and going pretty strong.

The first heartbreak is usually the most painful.
Wishing you the best of luck with your current love.

@Unity Thank you! Yes, the first one was the hardest lesson ever.

1

The only 2 men I ever really loved crushed me spirit. Not really wanting to go for #3

Shell78 Level 3 Dec 7, 2020
1

I have yet to feel that I'm in love, but I've felt an overwhelming happiness once, for a few minutes, watching my guy sleeping next to me. Unfortunately that happy feeling went away when he woke up. It would be nice to have that overwhelming happy feeling again sometime, but I have no expectations.

Julie808 Level 8 Aug 18, 2020

Q. Why do pessimists not suicide?
A. Usually they are optimists with depression.

1

Is being in love a receiving, giving or passive activity?

FrayedBear Level 9 Aug 16, 2020

Giving.

@EyesThatSmile Receiving too. Unrequited love ain't love, it's just something that ruins the taste of a peanut butter sandwich.

@RonWilliam53 I thought that was blue balls that upset the taste buds? 😁😉🤣

1

Once, almost 36 years. I thought I was in love several times before, but I was ignorant, didn't know what it means.

EdEarl Level 8 Aug 16, 2020

Good that you identified the delusional madness but how many children was it before you realised?

@FrayedBear
Ha ha. I have only child and am very happy about the output but realized the love failure within a week after marriage. A close friend of mine keeps saying... Don't marry if you want to stay curious and wanting. Marriage makes people taking and taken for granted.

@FrayedBear none

@St-Sinner I agree with your friend's observation.

1

I've been lucky...but I've also had to deal with the trauma of "ending" it....too often.

Robecology Level 9 Aug 16, 2020
0

Once. 31 years together... but he would always say, "We've only been together for a couple of years"
Time flies when you're having fun! We truly enjoyed each other's company. F*ck cancer.

Sonja44 Level 7 Aug 17, 2020

Wonderful and sad at the same time. Wonderful that you had 31 years together!

0

Only once and it was just a brief fling because he obviously wasn't that into me. I've accepted it.

Now, I'm looking for number two, but realistic about it.

Cabsmom Level 8 Aug 17, 2020

Were you or merely protecting your self with the delusion that you were in love?

0

We have to understand what our definition of love is. Love means different things to different people. Puppy love for young people is deep love which is cavalier, quick and short lived while elderly who have seen the shades of life will give a more matured answer.

What do you call love?

  1. Wanting someone
  2. Being wanted
  3. Wanting company
  4. Being happy with someone
  5. Physical attraction
  6. Liking sex
  7. Liking behaviors
  8. Liking good looks
  9. Liking life as it is
  10. Liking the idea of what life will be like or what will come from his efforts or efforts of both
  11. Liking his or her resume, his job, his income
  12. Having children
  13. Liking the idea of family
  14. Gratitude of he or she giving or doing things
  15. Liking and feeling good with what he or she says (words of affirmation?)
  16. Liking the feeling of showing off to friends and world we are in love, I have my prince, princess, family, our money or success (trust me it exists)
  17. Gratitude for being loyal (it should be a given, don't know why this should be an issue)
  18. Gratitude for he or she standing by you through the thick and think of life
  19. Gratitude for his or her lasting and time and event tested companionship, trust, friendship, caring, respect and sacrifices
St-Sinner Level 9 Aug 17, 2020
0

I long since concluded that "feeling in love" is a protective safety measure to protect me from the reality of a partner unable to satisfy my needs & I hers.

FrayedBear Level 9 Aug 16, 2020

Sounds sad. Love and Reality definitely have nothing in common.

@EyesThatSmile disagree. Love is often recognizing the realities of a person and realizing they exist but don't matter.

@EyesThatSmile Yes it is but if I ever met someone to create the necessary synergy in a relationship we will not be talking about or discussing love. We will be living and enjoying a life many planes above this one that will not have time for such discussion or talk. Nor will it need to be verbalised with "I love you" as it will burn through our flesh, unquestionably revealing itself in our behaviours, movements & actions toward one another.

0

i put down 5 or more,but have only married and divorced once

RoyMillar Level 9 Aug 16, 2020

That way you don't repeat your first mistake of allowing others to dictate your life with the institution of marriage.

0

If only!!!

0

It is all hormones & parental modeling. It changes after 6 months, after the birth of a spawn, & after 7 years (itch). So keep an open mind & keep an open relationship, keep the exit open, but keep the purse closed. When the flames mellow to a long and warm glow it is then different & not a failure.......says I.

Mooolah Level 8 Aug 16, 2020

I'm afraid you're mistaken some of that less develops into a much longer relationship. At least mine dead and fortunately for me it was mutual.

@Lorajay mutual death? Should we be calling you Casper?

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