I try to sell them drugs. That almost always works. In rare cases I've switched to trying to prostitute myself to them. That one has never failed, but it's unwise to start there.

Simple just tell them the pope would not be too happy

I guess I'm boring. If I'm busy or thinking I might be getting served with a photo radar ticket from Scottsdale or Paradise Valley, I just won't answer the door; but if I'm photo radar ticket free, I will answer and politely tell them I'm not interested and close the door. I will close the door even if they are still speaking. I closed the conversation politely. They are the rude ones of they keep talking.

My grandfather used to put the Mormons to work on his land. He'd talk to them about their religion for a few extra helping hands. Personally, I think that's awful, haha!

We have a no soliciting no religion plaque on our door and one or two have still knocked and I point to the sign and say “I guess you can’t read, you wouldn’t be a christian/mormon if you could” then the huff and go away. If they try to put they’re propaganda in our door, we rip it up and hand it back to them.

My dad told me about an Irish guy who was serving with the RAF and stationed in California for training. Guy had never encountered door to door proselytizing before and he was kinda demented with some clever humor.

So some Mormons come a'knocking and he panics slightly, because he doesn't want to talk to them. So, he grabs a diaper (his wife and the kid were out). Then he gets a heaping spoonful of chunky peanut butter and slathers it generously into the diaper.

He opens the door and looks very panicked and confused for moment as they launch into their monologue. Halfway into their greeting he presses the diaper into his face and messily eats a chunk of the peanut butter.

The door knockers are very much disturbed and beat a hasty retreat as he watches and chews noisily on the chunkiness.

I try to be as civil as possible, but the ones where I live are often very stubborn or even outright rude. If I see them, I usually don't answer the door. If I have to talk to them, I try to be as polite and civil as possible in saying "no thanks" and asking them to please respect that I have my own beliefs. It's really hard, though. They are annoying and like to interrupt me and tell me they "want to see me in heaven". Just leave me alone and let me live my life in peace...

Depends. If it's a kid, I'll hear them out and argue against their points. Maybe make them think a bit. if it's someone my age or up, I take the piss out of them, Because it's absurd to be 25+ and believe in invisible sky genies.

If I have time, I listen for a moment. Then I thank them for sharing. If they ask me if I believe in Jesus, I tell them, "Yes, historically." If they apply pressure, I nicely ask them to leave. I see no reason to be unnecessarily rude or mean.

Shut the door and lock it

Normally I'll invite em to come in and chat..However only of they bring coffee.

Funny story though, these 3 Mormon women would make regular stops at my door(and luckily they were all really cute) anywho so after inviting them in I wanted to be a polite host so I ran through the gambit of offering them refreshments..offered em coffee,beer,soda,tea..To which understandably they said no...

So then I offered em hot cocoa...Which they accepted just fine....knowing full well it had caffeine muahahahaha!

I always say, "Don't waste your time on me, I'm an atheist, thank God!"
That usually does it.

Depends on what they rudely disturb.
They get anything from a laughing "I'm not religious" to "fuck off".
I'm not one to tolerate or entertain their delusions.

Tell them politely, Thanks but I’m not interested, and shut the door

I tell them I'm happy in my beliefs and throw what crap they hand me in the trash.

I treat them with the respect due to victims of organised religion,I was one of them once.

Honestly, I say I'm an atheist. Usually they ask "well what happens after you die?" I say "nothing. Ya dead" 9/10 the next thing they say is "well that's depressing." And I always say "mate you have an imaginary friend who will send you to hell for cumming outside of a pussy." They always leave right then and there.

Simple, you don't call first I don't answer my door. Problem solved.

Cover them with a door bra.

If I even do answer the door, and they come on Sunday, I ask them if they talk to their God. If they reply "Yes" then I state in a loud voice, WELL, TELL YOUR GOD I'M WATCHING FOOTBALL, and close the door. Alternately, I ask them for their address. When they recover from their shock and ask "Why", I tell them that I want to come over and talk to their kids about Satanism or Islam. They leave quickly.

Honestly, I kill them with kindness. Seriously. It confuses them more than any insults, mockery, or slander could ever do. I tell them thanks but no thank you, politely refuse their pamphlets, and tell them to have a good day when they leave.

Maybe it's just that I get the same churches in my area but no matter what different faces show up each time, I do the same thing. Most seem shocked that a non-christian is so polite & kind, even if they try to bait me in to debating.

Admittedly I was in a bad mood once, and when they rang I told them the Muslims got to me first, called them infidels and demanded they leave... followed their "God bless you" comment up with an "Allah akbar". Yeah it was a jerky thing to do, kinda felt bad after but I had a bad day & i just let it get to me & took it out on them. /shrug

I used to let them in on account of while they were with me they were not bothering anyone esle but now I live in sheltered accommodation and its probabaly better that they don't takeup 26 peoples time.

I like engaging them civilly. I tend to go for a Platonic questioning route and let them talk and inevitably they talk themselves into something silly. Usually this repeats over and over, but I'm good with that if I have the time.

I get the feeling they never get to talk without it being a pitch and I've had some lovely conversations on mild sunny days where the elder of the two rushed the younger away when they started nodding at my statements.

I do have fun with them. I'm a show me type of guy & ask those kind of questions.

Just tell them I am not Christian and don't care to discuss it.