I used to live in Utah and one EARLY Saturday morning, my husband answers the door to some LDS folks. They told him they were the for a “fast offering” (Money saved by fasting from the day before, as I understand it). My husband, completely oblivious, though they meant, “fast offering” like give them whatever you had on hand, STAT! He apologized and told them he didn’t have any cash on him and sent them on their way. I was crying when he told me about it after. Hysterical.

The following Saturday, they came again, well before 9am. This time, I answered the door. I explained that we were not LDS, and they could take our house off their list. The older man (he was with two younger guys) explained that the offerings were used to support everyone in the community, not just LDS members (which is unlikely as LDS friends who received help were made to step up their attendance to get assistance). I told him we weren’t interested, and to please take us off their route.

Finally, the third Saturday, they again woke us early, and I’d had it. I told them that this was three times now we’d turned them away (ha! Like Peter, we denied them three times) and enough was enough. I closed the door, called the stake house number and spoke with our ward (neighborhood) bishop. That finally accomplished it and I got back my Saturday mornings. I was probably too nice the first time, but I don’t like being nasty to people, if I can avoid it.

And once...the CATHOLICS came to my door. I was raised Catholic, and that was a Twilight Zone moment for me.

Generally, “I’m not interested, but thank you for stopping by and have a nice day” is my go-to for the most frequent flier visitors, the JWs.

I love talking to them, honestly. I know more than most about the Bible due to my tortuous twelve years of Catholic school, so I can generally talk circles around them about Christianity (and many other religions). But if I don't have time, I tell them that the topic of religion is too personal and I'm not going to discuss it with any-old-body that knocks on my door or approaches me on the street. My grandmother was Methodist and employed the same tactics, and I really admired her poise and non-impositional approach to belief.

But if they approach me with hateful shit, I'm going to become incredibly rude.

I have posted a no soliciting sign and that has helped a bit. I don't engage at all. I don't think I need to be polite given that they are encroaching upon my time and space. I usually use a curt "Not interested" and start to shut the door. My grandfather liked to have more fun with them. With a twinkle in his eye, he would say, "Lady, I sold my soul to the devil during the War for a bottle of whisky. You wouldn't want me to renege on a deal would you?"

Happened once. I invited them into the kitchen for coffee which seemed to stun then as though they had never had someone invite them in before. We sat down and had a very interesting conversation as they fumbled over what their church was about, (mormons I think, been a while) As they stumbled over each section I easily shut it down with logical questions and by the end of the hour long conversation I had them questioning their faith out loud. I suggested that they read from cover to cover the book they were forced to drag around, (which neither of them actually had,) and in the mean time, continue being good people. If they come to the conclusion that God doesn't exist then they will have all the proof they need that being a good person isn't about what faith you carry but more so what values you hold.

I opened the door to see two ladies, both dressed conservatively. The older started with the standard are you saved speech. I interrupted saying that I was a scientist and she said, "so you should know how statistically unlikely evolution is?"
"Well. I am not a biologist but I do have a few books on the subject shall I get them?"
They took off for the next house.

This seems to work...

I think Mormon missionaries have discontinued what they called "tracting"... Door-to-door cold calls. Today if they show up at your door it's likely because a member referred you.

It depends if im high I might come to door in underwear smoking a jay. robe open. gun in hand playing porn loud

Depends on my will to talk, sometimes I have better arguments than them, and they must resort on faith and misery to protect themselves against the doubts that I try to incept.

I was raised as a JW and I took a lot of abuse going door-to-door. I will tell you from personal experience that these folks are totally brain-washed and it really does no good to engage them in any discussion at the door--they have to come to certain realizations on their own. If you really don't want them to come to your door again, the best thing to do is to politely tell them that you are really not interested and that you would like to be put on their "do not call list." There's no guarantee that you won't hear from them again after a few years--just repeat the protocol. Also, placing a "Do Not Tresspass" sign will sometimes do the trick since, legally they can be sued if they do not oblige.

A quick story: One peaceful Saturday afternoon in Burbank, Ca. about 6 years ago, there was a knock on my door, peaking threw the window I could see three woman, two men, Latino, dressed very well and carrying bibles, so I opened the door with a big smile on my face and said "hello". The lady closest to me said, in English, "Hi, we are from the church of Latter Day Saints and we wanted to...."...I interrupted her in prefect Spanish (I'll translate...) "Oh, I am sorry, I do not speak English"...and she smiled so big and said, in Spanish, "Oh you speak Spanish, so do we" (as she looked behind her and they were all listening) ...when I said, in English, "sorry I don't speak Spanish"...and shut the door. They started at each other, as to confirm that they all just experienced the same thing, shook their heads and walked off the porch. Priceless.

Respectfully tell them I am not interested, thank them, then close the door.

I answer the door naked. Freaks out most people.

My family are mostly Jehovah's Witnesses. I was also as a child but was disfellowshipped after "seeing the light." When they come to my door I have an easy way of getting rid of them. Just telling them "I'm an X-JW. I was disfellowshipped many years ago and I am still not repentent." They quickly turn around and leave.

I either don't answer the door, or, if they become annoying, I set the German Shepherd on them.

....don’t answer the door. Rude, yes. But effective.

This is crude and rude, but after a lifetime of having mormon missionaries, without a collective brain in their head, knock on my door and try to waste my time, one day they showed up at my door. I told them to get off my porch before I arrested them for trespassing. They gave whiney responses but did leave, then returned several minutes later and apologized. Again, I told the to get off my porch, and they started into their spiel, " we are missionaries from the church of jesus christ of latter day saints ( a title they now use to incorporate the name of jesus to prove they are not a cult )
...I interrupted and said, "I know who you are, and since I cannot get you to leave, which one wants to come in and
suck my dick." they left, and not one has come back to my door, tho they will yell at me from the street.

I'm a cashier and sometimes I'm handed literature. I tell them ill let my boyfriend read it. I'm gay and while a current beau does not exist, it shuts them up pretty quickly.

I tell them there is no Solicitation in my community and they have 5 seconds to leave before I call the police.

I've found that people who want to tell me all about their religion almost never want to hear about mine.

My father has used to ask, and this only works for believers in Jesus, "what can you tell me about the Council of Nicea?" And when they inevitably replied... "what?" He'd tell them to look it up and come back.

I also have a well read Bible at my front door stand. I ask them to explain Isaiah 45:7.

I am hospitable and polite I ask them in and offer them a beer or smoke(weed) or whatever I have and exspain that I’m an atheist and tell them POLITELY that they are fucking crazy.

It has been several years since I’ve encountered a door-knocker. In recent years I’ve grown tremendously in my knowledge and passion for atheism, so I really look forward to my next door-knocker. I plan to invite them in and engage in a polite, in-depth conversation.

Generally I'll listen to their pitch. Observe their body language, tone. After listening for a bit I'll tell them I'm agnostic and gauge their response, and how they adjust their technique.

I then grade them silently like I'm judging a competition.

I don't let them in my home, either.