Agnostic.com

779 56

How do you deal with Door-knockers?

Whether they be Witnesses, Mormons, or another proselytizing religion, how do you deal with people coming to your door to spread their religion?
I just had my first experience since getting a place of my own and had a decent conversation through the crack in my door. After I told him I was an atheist he tried to use apologetics; when I told him I was familiar with his arguments and didn't find them convincing further explaining that I take a scientific route of belief and chose not to believe until there is evidence for a god. He understood and thanked me for explaining and listening to him and he left with a handshake. I was surprised at myself for how civil I was to him but how does everyone else usually respond?

Nicsnort 6 Oct 14
Share

Enjoy being online again!

Welcome to the community of good people who base their values on evidence and appreciate civil discourse - the social network you will enjoy.

Create your free account

779 comments (26 - 50)

Feel free to reply to any comment by clicking the "Reply" button.

9

Same as you, I talk to them.
Ask them questions, like -
in the Noah's ark story, why did God drown a lot of innocent animals? Noah saved no more than seven of each, so God drowned thousands or millions of animal who didn't sin. [Can they sin?]
He is God, so he could have take them all to Heaven for forty days (Noah too, for that matter). Or gifted them all with breath water. Or made them all vanish, and spent another six days making them all again.

Allan Level 5 Oct 27, 2017

Where did Noah fit all the Dinosaurs?

@Leafhead where did he keep the termites? And which of the band of castaways was carrying the syphilis?

23

I was more polite when I was younger. I would tell them honestly and openly that I intended to gently mock their beliefs and advise them to walk on. I'd then tease them a bit but they usually took the hint.
More recently I have become convinced that religion is the cancer of which the human race will die. I'm less inclined to chat with people who want to give me cancer. (Getting a bit grumpy in my old age!)

me too !

heh

3

If possible, I invite them in and offer something to drink. I always invite them to speak and I listen. I appreciate their passion and we always have a good discussion. I don't hold with either Jehovah's Witnesses or Latter Church of Saints... but I always have questions. I'm not the be all and end all.

Great attitude... I am an atheist and not interested in changing people's minds but it's really awesome talking to others about their beliefs... our discussions usually last at the most 10 minutes... knowing what the Mormon religion philosophy and beliefs are and how incredibly psychedelic it is... I always find them friendly... I mean come on when they die they get their own planet and get to have Celestial sex how much better does it get then that.

@emjai lol

3

nod smile and tell them i'll read whatever theyre offering, except most of the time i dont

the thrill is that i know im lying to them 😉

3

I used to open the door completely naked and that seemed to work as they never came back

Sounds dangerous lol

Is it warm where you live? If not have you heard of a Walnut Whip?

18

Answer the door naked
It works they will leave you alone

Indeed, along with some Heavy Metal playing in the background. LOL

2

It depends on my mood. Some days I simply politely tell them I'm not interested. Some days I tell them to "fuck off" and then there are those days I'll answer the door butt naked and invite them in. If they are crazy enough to accept my invitation at that point, I'll debate them until I grow bored and then ask them to leave unless on the off chance I perform a successful "conversion" LMAO!

You have my brain moving now. I'm interested to hear about such a conversion, if one is even possible, and what the outcome was. Interesting.

@Csoncrant89 like I stated, on the off chance. I never converted anyone. But I have sent a couple of them running away in horror lol!

1

I had some JWs at the door a couple of weeks ago. I just said I wasn't interested as I am an atheist. They said OK and walked away. I felt a little sorry for them.

@LetzGetReal hmm, dunno why it had posted twice.

2

Owh, I thought it was going to be...'how do you deal with knock, knock jokes?' Haven't had a religious door knocker in years; I'll let you know next time it happens, it will depend on my mood 😉

3

I can't recall any religious people knocking on my door. I've lived in Utah for 2 years and I'm feeling a little rejected. I wonder if my neighbor's put me on a blacklist after a 3 minute conversation as I was moving in???

LDS bugged the crap out of a young lesbian neighbor in Alabama, she was too nice to be assertive even when they talked about homosexuality. I played the asshole card, but that's literally the only time I've had to deal with door knocker religious types.

It's almost like there's an anti-god keeping idiocy away from me???

Quick .... send him to DC... then down south... let's clean out the gene pool..

7

It depends on what kind of mood I am in. If I am wearing my Mickey Mouse T-shirt, I will patiently listen to them, take a copy of their reading material and thank them for "sharing"
If not...I listen to them, nod in the affirmative, ask questions to make them think I am about to become a believer and then tell them "Nah..I'm good.

If I am feeling naughty, I will listen to them with a confused look on my face and then ask them something uncomfortable, like.."what does your faith teach about masturbation?"

@LetzGetReal I figured it would get them to praying hard or running!!???

2

Door knackers for unwanted Door knockers.?

To really sinch the issue, add nails or spikes on the rest of the door to make it impossible to knock manually.

4

If they have children with them I address the children and ignore the adults. I tell the child the adults are evil and they should get away. Usually I am not bothered again, everyone is happier really.

DrT Level 4 Dec 18, 2018

I did the same thing to a couple of Street preachers who brought three children with them—I told them that their fathers were crazy, and I hope that they didn’t grow up to be as crazy and ignorant as their parents. Why was I So cruel? Because in these situations and you only have about 30 seconds to get it across to children that their crazy religious parents are wrong and hope that they grow up Questioning how others see their parents screaming through microphone on the street corner.

@Weismonger but that isn't cruel at all.

2

I answer the door naked or in my boxers. They don't want to see that and I don't want to see them.

Lol...I've got this scenario in my head now: "Honey! Its those damned jehova bastards...Quick... take off your clothes and answer the door!

4

In the Netherlands we have stickers (provided by the local gouvernement) that you can put on your mailbox. In my case Yes to charity and No to sellers or religious proselytizing. It really works in the Netherlands and do not get interrupted anymore. It saves you time, frustration and you can evade those silly discussion. So I agree with Chainsmkmtair that a sign may be a very effective way of prevention. Otherwise you can also shock them by answering the door naked if they are too stubborn to respect the sign.

Stickers like that sound like an amazing idea. Though I bet if they were provided by the government in the US people would start complaining that their "free speech" was being impaired.

@Nicsnort
I think I can also complain that they impair my privacy, as they have no valid reason to knock on my door (see the sign).

5

Since I used to be the one doing the knocking, I have some compassion for these folks. It was never a natural thing for me to do and I hated it. I was dragged into it by my parents. Depending on my mood, I either don’t answer the door or I explain that I’m a former and no longer interested.

I appreciate your mention of compassion. It can get pretty hot where I live, and I’ll sometimes offer folks some water. Just because the ideas don’t at all resonate with me, no reason to be nasty or inconsiderate.

And what kind of torture is it for these poor Mormon kids to have to spend two years wearing a white shirt, black pants and a bicycle helmet pedaling around neighborhoods looking like escapees From a mental institution?!

1

Depends on how much time is available and my mood.

Some fun things might be asking them if they are Christians. Further inquiring about whether they just talk about Jesus or actually live by an follow hos recorded example can be fun.

If they calim to live by his example, that's when it's time to invite them in with a big welcoming smile. Offer them a seat while you fetch soap, a foot tub with warm water and a towel.

"My feet are pretty grubby. Who wants to be first?" ?

I was an RN in Neuro Trauma ICIU for 20 years. I have seen enough of children die because they won't go against the JW shit. They would would rather have dead kid than allow any 'unclean' blood or blood products. Crazy.

@rossit0725 They 'live' in another mental world. On the blood thing and holiday(ritual behaviors) thing, I also reject, but for entirely different reasons.

3

I got a couple of knockers the other day in fact. Although I think they are cuckoo for Cocoa Puffs I treat them just as I would anyone else trying to sell me something I'm not interested in. I politely say no thank you, smile & wish them a nice day.
They are still human beings (albeit brainwashed) but I won't be shitty to anyone simply because I disagree with their lifestyle or choices.

3

I ask these “fundamentalist door knockers” into my house-lock the door & offer them some tea or coffee then go through their tiny minds like a chainsaw. I torture them with facts and knowledge about the cruel Bible & why their imaginary God is a psychopath. And in our discussions which become an interrogation it becomes very clear why belief in a religion and an imaginary God is a mental illness.

2

I am very polite and tell them I have my own faith...but i try get rid of them fast. I door knock ( well I did in NY) not atheism...but for political candidates so I understand how awkward and uncomfortable it is.

5

I used to be polite to the JWs that came by, but they wouldn't give up. My teenaged son told me that he would take care of it next time. When they came by, they asked if he was a christian and he answered, "I am a pantheist." They had never heard of that, so he explained, in great detail, about a panoply of gods, each one for specific things. As they were leaving, he followed them down the driveway, still espousing his 'views' (possibly Nordic, or Greek - not sure), all the way to the road. They did not come back for a couple of years.

That's great ! JW are a piece of work . They come to my ED w a hemoglobin of 6, ( anywhere below 8 I need to transfuse u in general ), get admitted , and then refusing any intervention as blood etc . Well . Then y r u here ? Pls go home and pray to your death . I can't help u bcz of your religion and no , I don't have to respect your view or not respect it . I don't want to deal with it at all ! If u don't need me , pls stay home and let this bed to be used by someone who I can help .

4

Never done this myself but I have a friend who answers the door nearly naked!

LOL, I answered the door once directly from the shower with just the towel wrapped around me.
Two JW women were standing there hold the screen door open and I pushed the main wooden door back behind me while trying wrest the screen door from them, the breeze rose up and the main door began to swing towards my back so, not actually thinking but out sheer reaction, I released the hand grasping the towel so I could stop the door, the towel fell to the floor and they left my front yard with extreme haste.

3

Jehovah's Witnesses are the most prevalent in my area. I don't deal with them much because if they approach me, I tell them that they aren't allowed to speak to me because I'm a former JW who was "disfellowshipped". (I'm not, but I tell them this.) It's worked wonderfully because other JW's in my area are then warned not to approach me because they believe I've been shunned by one of their congregations.

I learned this trick from my ex-sister-in-law who actually is a disfellowshipped JW.

Good to know.

3

Me reply to door knockers is always the same....
I am a practicing Theodolite, thank you anyway.

I went to a small Christian college and every Saturday morning when I had a Hangover the Christians would knock on my door and asked “if I would go to church with them Sunday morning?” Christians did this to make sure that you weren’t being “poached” proselytized by different denomination And that you were attending your specific church affiliation.

I found out that when I filled out my college application Which asks “my religious Affiliation” this information is given to Christians to check up and see if you are attending church.

So the next year I declared that I was an “orthodox druid”—And was very sure that no one else on campus was a druid. And as I suspected, no “Orthodox druid” came and knocked on my door asking if I would go to church with them on Sunday. Christians are not very smart.

1

I must ask why is it necessary to come to your door in the first place? Surely if you had a tiny desire to buy an encyclopedia or seek religion, you would go to the place where a variety of the product is displayed? It can only mean that they are there to convince you of something against your will. Or to buy something you don't need, want, or afford?

Write Comment
You can include a link to this post in your posts and comments by including the text q:1448
Agnostic does not evaluate or guarantee the accuracy of any content. Read full disclaimer.