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What is the plural of Jesus?
273kelvin comments on Mar 29, 2018:
https://youtu.be/l9Aj7W3g1qo
A Clockwork Orange, more than meets the eye, a reflection of our human nature ?
273kelvin comments on Mar 29, 2018:
Deuteronomy 23:1 " He that is wounded in the stones, or hath his privy member cut off, shall not enter into the congregation of the LORD. " You cannot be virtuous if you cannot sin. The same subject came up recently when American footballers refused to stand for the national anthem. It was said that should be made to. Well it it not patriotism if it is compulsory.
A Clockwork Orange, more than meets the eye, a reflection of our human nature ?
273kelvin comments on Mar 29, 2018:
I remember Anthony Burgess in a few interviews on TV. He was a great lover of english lauguage. One time they had him on with a few young working class kids from modern Manchester. They swopped slang words for ages. There was a TV panel show called " Call my bluff " where writers and wits would be given very obscure words and you had to guess the correct definition, like the board game " Balderdash. " He only was asked on it once because he knew the meanings of so many of them anyway.
I'm writing a novel primarily about my childhood (still fiction though).
273kelvin comments on Mar 29, 2018:
Build it and they will come. Write the book as best as you can. Make the characters believable and interesting. and people will read it. as for the journey and religion. Graham Greene was always writing about catholicism even though it is a minority religion in the english speaking world. Isaac Bashevis Singer only wrote in yiddish. There are so many great works that focus on the idiosyncrasies of the writer, so do not worry about whether it will have an audience or not. This site and Richard Dawkins etc. prove that there is a market for atheist works. With any luck you may even offend some god botherers and become controversial. Just write it well.
I so want to read this story. Someone write it!!!!
273kelvin comments on Mar 29, 2018:
Off a russian dating site
Pascals Wager.
273kelvin comments on Mar 29, 2018:
Pascals wager falls down at too many hurdles for me. 1, It assumes that it is a 2 horse race, god or no god. When the choices are no god and 1000`s of differing deities. 2, You cannot feign a belief. This would be akin to a child continuing to say they believed in santa in order to receive more toys at xmas. If god exists then he is omnipresent and knows what is in our hearts. Therefore a hypocritical " false " belief is worse than no belief at all.
Currently watching the 2 Ronnies an English TV Comedy series from the 70's and a group called New ...
273kelvin comments on Mar 28, 2018:
This was a 70`s hit in the UK till they showed this video. A band so ugly no one would want afternoon sex with them. darkest night with the lights of maybe? https://youtu.be/wu1UXCdyNo0
Would Jesus have accomplished everything he accomplished if he had been married?
273kelvin comments on Mar 26, 2018:
He was married. Why do you think he spent 40 days in the wilderness?
Do you pop your knuckles and joints?
273kelvin comments on Mar 26, 2018:
Well a doctor tried popping just one hand for 20 years and he did not notice any difference between the two but my daughter does it all the time and I tell her its dangerous. When she aks why I jokingly say " Its bloody anoying and I will break your hand if you continue " lol
What did you do to celebrate a big day?
273kelvin comments on Mar 26, 2018:
My 60th 2017 Open mic nght then loads of people back. Well I have wine and song...
I have written a lot of fiction, mostly for small press publications.
273kelvin comments on Mar 25, 2018:
Try Vocal.com it works like youtube. so many hits and you get paid. but you have to keep writing to make pay
I used to have three bookshelves of my "not read" and one bookshelf of "read" until my collection ...
273kelvin comments on Mar 25, 2018:
Ogden Nash lived out in the sticks somewhere and he got tired of his neighbors asking " Have you read all of them books? " So he used to reply " Of course not. Why would anyone keep a book that you`ve already read? "
Not one prayer was said.
273kelvin comments on Mar 25, 2018:
" People say that I am lucky. Funny thing is, the more I practice, the luckier I get " Arnold Palmer
When I had asked for suggestions on what to do to treat myself, I was given a good one.
273kelvin comments on Mar 23, 2018:
Did you know that some of south parks scripts are written in Livepool? Yeah including Mr Hanky
Anyone have any Netflix recommendations?
273kelvin comments on Mar 23, 2018:
There is a quirky one called Norsemen. I can highly recomend " Five came back " to any film buffs. Minestry of time (Spanish with subtitles). " Rome "
What are the best TV series/shows you ever watched or are currently watching?
273kelvin comments on Mar 23, 2018:
The Soparnos The West Wing Rome Dr Who Morcome and Wise Norsemen ( A quirky little comedy on Netflix ) Sherlock
My spouse is a gambeling addict.
273kelvin comments on Mar 22, 2018:
As a former gambling addict (if there is such a thing) I can only speak for myself. All my spare money went in gambling, not that I had much but I never got passed " just visiting " never mind " go" . Bottom came on a trip to France with some friends. I did all my money in the casino on the boat over and had to live off the charity of my friends for 2 weeks. One time we were in the food shop and I said to my mate that they look like nice sausages and he said " Buy some then. " It stung me like a slap in the face. It was not the end of my problem but the beginning of the end. Gradually I learnt to stay away from temptation. You cannot gamble unless you actively do something to gamble. You have to go into a betting office, casino or stand in front of a slot machine. Unlike drinking people don`t offer you a bet with a meal or at xmas etc. To stop you have to remove yourself from the scene. After a while I got out of the habit but the urge took years to leave me. I can now play the odd game of poker for small stakes but I am very wary that it could escalate. Best advice is tell him how much you love him but not his gambling. Sit down and ask him to be honest and say how much he lost this week or month. HE WILL LIE. Go though his finances and point out the obvious inconsistencies on paper. Then say tell the truth and you will forgive him. If he comes clean then hold him and say it will be all right but it has to stop. If he uses his cards then cut them up and give so much for lunch gas etc. each day. Set a reward of a weekend away, some big boy toy he would like or maybe a really nice shirt. Having nice shirts now is one of the great things about not losing them all the time.
Just heard this .... Q what do you call a bloke that hangs around with musicians ? A A drummer .
273kelvin comments on Mar 22, 2018:
Classical musicians tell Viola player jokes instead of drummers. There's an orchestra rehearsal when the conductor gets a phone call. He apologises to the orchestra but says he has to take the call. Can they all take 5. Then the 1st viola player pipes up and says " I do do amature conducting I can take over for a little while? " The condutor agrees and goes off to take his call. When he comes back the viola player resumes his seat and the 2nd viola says " Where did you get to? "
Just heard this .... Q what do you call a bloke that hangs around with musicians ? A A drummer .
273kelvin comments on Mar 22, 2018:
There is a whole raft of them like... What do you cal a drummer without a girlfriend? .. homeless How do you know a drummers knocking on your door?.... it speeds up. What`s the difference between a drummer and a drum machine? .... A drum machine doesn`t load up the van So this drummer is tied of all the jokes so he goes to a music shop and asks for something else to learn to play. The shop owner says " Look around and I will be back soon when you have decided what you want. " The drummer says " I will take the red trumpet and that accordion " Shop keeper says " I can sell you the fire extinguisher but the radiator stays where it is "
Describe your love life in one word.
273kelvin comments on Mar 21, 2018:
Past-tense
Is chivalry SEXIST???
273kelvin comments on Mar 21, 2018:
Chivalry update, it used to be the polite thing for a man to walk on the outside of a lady. This was for many reasons, including to protect her from being splashed by passing carrages etc. It is now more correct to walk on the inside . To protect her from rufians and muggers that might lurk in shop doorways or behind bushes.
Give a man a fish, he'll eat for a day.
273kelvin comments on Mar 20, 2018:
Teach a man to fish and you will have some lazy bastard who wont work another day in his life
I'm going to the college tomorrow!
273kelvin comments on Mar 18, 2018:
Being kind and thoughtful to others is a fine trait but you also have to be kind and thoughtful to yourself too. Much as I am loath to use any christian analogies on this site. If you remember the tale of the good Samartian. He had money to help the traveler and gave him practical assistence not just kind words. You make damn sure you go to collage, for YOUR sake. No one in your town will starve because of it.
Do you have any good suggestions on what I could do to for a treat for myself?
273kelvin comments on Mar 17, 2018:
Go and see a live band.
Do you think touching money is gross?
273kelvin comments on Mar 17, 2018:
I feel for all you people that think that money is so gross. So as a favor if you msg me I will give you all an address to which you can send it.
How is it that some people can be so unthinkingly cruel?
273kelvin comments on Mar 16, 2018:
Cont. It would only sound like some Hank Williams derivative " All she left me was a brocken heart and an unopened bottle of gin ". Luckily I had a good mate come round and helped me drink the gin she had left. I resisted the urge (so far) to text her, after all what was needed to be said has been said last night. Rant over and tomorrow is another day ho hum.
So.
273kelvin comments on Mar 15, 2018:
It`s an odd thing but I had an argument with a guy on here who had similar views. My contention was the very same points that he and the NRA make for having such weapons are the same as N. Korea having nukes.
My first published work. Short and a bit racy (18 rated) [filthy.media]
273kelvin comments on Mar 15, 2018:
This story was inspired by Maria, a lady I met online. She had a fantasy of being auctioned to a bunch of guys sitting in leather armchairs. This was a fantasy only but it made me think about something I had heard somewhere that men want to be loved and women want to be wanted. Then I thought well what if being wanted is not enough anymore. I could have gone down the romantic road but it had been done so many times. I also wanted to explore the differences between voyeur and poseur. It necessitated creating a ruse whereby Maria`s beauty was negated, hence the plot.
What makes you unique?
273kelvin comments on Mar 15, 2018:
My very name. I am the only Kelvin Matchett in the world
Who talks about god more, the atheists or the religious people?
273kelvin comments on Mar 15, 2018:
On the face of it, you yanks. I suppose the UK must be more secular than the USA. Occasionaly I have had the subject broached ny some of my christian customers, not by muslim or hindu (I do domestic joinery) but never by a work colleague
Here is another of my short stories archived at Perihelion Science Fiction.
273kelvin comments on Mar 15, 2018:
I liked it slightly, predictable in outcome but a good read nevertheless.
Is sex a touchy subject for you to talk about?
273kelvin comments on Mar 14, 2018:
It is sad to hear you talk like this. You are not the first woman to feel this way and sadly you wont be the last. Sex can be so lovely, beautiful and intermate it seems a shame that it is denied to some because of the horrors that some men do. I hope that one day you may find a guy who will be patient, gentle and understanding. It may be this new friend but he seems to be getting impatient. I think you need to sat him striaght and see if he will stay the coarse. I have been with many woman who have been abused (it is difficult to find any that have not) I tend to start with just touching. Hand, head, neck and foot rubs are a good start and work slowly from there.
Do you like attention, and just how much do you like?
273kelvin comments on Mar 14, 2018:
I write songs and sing them on stage so I guess I do like attention. I dance well plus I dress flamboyently so yes I love it.
I think I'm dyslexic and I didn't noticed that until now.
273kelvin comments on Mar 14, 2018:
I`ve never been diagnosed but I thnk I have mild form too. My handwritting is terreble and I cannot spell well at all. On top of that I never learnt my times tables (it sounded like brian washing). I know I am not thick I used to work in a bar before tills added up for you. I could serve 3 customers at once and add all their drinks up in my head. Plus when I played chess I could remember the Ruy Lopez opening to 8 moves including all popular variations. How are you on left and right, do you get confused? Btw proofreading is always a good idea even if your ok. I wish that more would do it lol
All the Trump fans here on the site might not like me for this one. Sorry.
273kelvin comments on Mar 14, 2018:
I did read that mental hospitals had dozens of people claiming to be from the future sent back to kill him.
[allthatsinteresting.com] this is really cool
273kelvin comments on Mar 13, 2018:
There be dragons :-)
As an atheist, I think Homosexuality should not come into mainstream. What's your take ?
273kelvin comments on Mar 13, 2018:
It depends on your definition of " mainsteam " . If you say the majority then that`s never going to happen. If you say accepted by society at large then for sure. You say that you were homosexual and then turned. You fail to say how. Did you meet someone? Have an epiphany or what? and that is just you. One of the main things that bug me about religion is some bugger telling me how to live my life. Now you say that you`ve now rejected your homosexual past but that does not negate it, it was still you at the time. Should you (then) have been vilified, ostracized. penalized, discriminated jailed or tarred and feathered and run out of town on a rail? I attended a gay bar mitzvah last year. I say gay, his mom and dad were both striaght but the lad in questions choosen theme for the party was my favorite musicals. Nuff said, he is a really nice kid and I am glad that he can grow up and live in a world that will accept him for who he is. I remember how much the gay lad in my school got bullied and it is so much better now. I have many gay friends and each one has said " This is not a choice " Many seem to make mistake of thinking it is a lifestyle choice because offten gay and lesbians sometimes do straight. Well guess what there are a lot of striaghts who sometimes do gay. My cat ate a broccoli stem last week, it dont`make her veggie The US is supossed to be founded on life, liberty and the persuit of happiness. What gives you or anybody else the right to deny any adults their rights to the same. Even if it is " Psychological " ??
So this is probably my all time favorite joke.
273kelvin comments on Mar 13, 2018:
There`s 45 mins of my life I wont get back lol
Did They Really Believe That Nonsense?
273kelvin comments on Mar 13, 2018:
Lenin thought that religion would die out as the old ladies who went to church finaly popped their clogs. What he failed to realize was that more old women would come along and replace them. Unfortunatly I cannot see and end to christianity in any kind of forseeable future. Especially with it`s rise in Africa.
I do not think that can let this day go by without reference to the passing of my cities favorite ...
273kelvin comments on Mar 13, 2018:
https://youtu.be/VgiiSfrf3So
Do you read the bible to get knowledge about it, and to be able to understand why it is fiction?
273kelvin comments on Mar 12, 2018:
Song of songs is a good read
The Hitchhiker's Guide To The Galaxy Chapters One through Eight: In which our intrepid heroes ...
273kelvin comments on Mar 12, 2018:
It is an almost genetic certainty. That each of us is the descendant of at least one war lord.
Mommie Dearest by Christina Crawford.
273kelvin comments on Mar 12, 2018:
On a lighter side, has anyone watched " Feud " the story behind " Whatever happened to baby Jane? "
Logic when technology fails.
273kelvin comments on Mar 12, 2018:
One of my favorite trips was to Normandy. 6 guys in a farnhouse no computers (this was the 80`s) no tv, radio or electric. Just a guitar for entertainment, a well for water and an open fire to cook on. We sang, told stories and drank. Makes you wonder if all this is that good in the end. A few months ago the govt of Togo switched off the internet to try and stiffle the opposition. It tended to backfire as most people just resented them for it. Plus most of the sex meet ups happen online there. What did happen was people went out more, libraries got frequented and people talked to each other instead of their phones. Maybe it would be an idea to have an internet holiday once or twice a year? Like a bank holiday but more wide ranging.
Favorite positions?
273kelvin comments on Mar 12, 2018:
Henny James learnt to read braile, so he could read in bed without hurting his eyes.
Mommie Dearest by Christina Crawford.
273kelvin comments on Mar 11, 2018:
There are often 2 sides to a story. Like the Ike and tina Turner thing. From what I heard Ike was in jail with a $100 a day coke habit and 1/2 mill tax debt. When her lawyer comes in and says sign this for $100,000. This being a disclaimer that says " my client can say what they like about you and you cannot deny it or do anything "
Would you avoid naming your child a name with religious connotations?
273kelvin comments on Mar 11, 2018:
I am named after a scientist Lord Kelvin. One of the last great 19th century thinkers. He had over 200 papers puplished before he was 21. Did work on superconductivity (hence the SI unit) and helped design the 1st trans-atlantic phone cable. How many other scientist names would make good 1st names? Ohm perhaps? Watt maybe? Newton for sure. Wouldn`t it be great if our kindergarden classes were full of Dawkins`s, Darwins, Rutherfords and Curie`s. Crick`s, Mendel`s and Pasture`s?
Musicality. What is music?
273kelvin comments on Mar 11, 2018:
My earliest musical memories is standing on our front garden wall singing " I wanna hold your hand " by the Beatles. I must have been about 6 at the time and Liverpool had been placed at the center of the map by the fab 4. My 1st record was " Popeye the sailor man " I never used to admit to this (even though I was only 8 at the time), till I found out that it was written by the same guy who wrote " take the A train " for Duke Ellington. A few years later and heard " Pinball wizard " by the Who. From then on I was hooked. Most of my life has revolved around music in some form or other. I payed for my own guitar lessons at 14, busked, giged and now write my own songs.
This is way too funny and way too creepy...
273kelvin comments on Mar 11, 2018:
Stalking is just a romantic walk that only one person is aware of
Gonna start here.
273kelvin comments on Mar 10, 2018:
Ist heard it in its original form, BBC radio 4 serial. Then I bought the books when came out. Including the Dirk Gently books
The Texan looked up at the top of a tall building and discovered a man ready to jump! "Stop," he ...
273kelvin comments on Mar 10, 2018:
Lol. a battle that lasted 6 days or 2 hours depending which version you believe.
What would you ask for, if you knew the answer was yes?
273kelvin comments on Mar 10, 2018:
Xmas 1979, a New-York radio asked the British ambassador what he would most like for xmas. It being not too long since watergate etc. the ambassador thought about it and asked for something small just in case. The next day they reported " We asked all the ambassadors what they would most like for xmas. The Indian Ambassador asked for an end to poverty, the Chinese world peace, whilst the British ambassador asked for a pipe and a new pair of slippers "
Every gain has a cost.
273kelvin comments on Mar 10, 2018:
It can be argued that the invention of the plough and agriculture itself is an experiment that has yet to prove its worth. From about 10,000 bc we have had a growing civilization. With priests, doctors, philosophers, scientists and sportsmen. A whole kit and caboodle leading to what we have now. Only time ill tell if we end up a, killing ourselves or b, fucking up the planet so it becomes untenable.
Lots of questions being asked on here so I just thought I'd put this out there ;-)
273kelvin comments on Mar 9, 2018:
Chemotherapy Blues Woke up this morning (now there`s a result)
I am writing third paper at college.
273kelvin comments on Mar 8, 2018:
If your looking for funny narcissist jesus nutters. You do with taking a look at southcottians. A very obscure english sect, followers of Joanna Southcott. She believed (in her late 40`s) that she was going to give birth to the 2nd coming. It turned out to be an hysterical pregnancy Anyway if start with those guys and laugh at their idiocy, the rest just falls into place.
Does anyone have a funny meme to share or a good joke?
273kelvin comments on Mar 8, 2018:
Look in the " cheesy jokes " section of this site and read some of my better ones.
Why are religious people against gay marriages?
273kelvin comments on Mar 8, 2018:
My brother is not religious at all but he does not approve of gay marrage. He is quite old fashioned (he`s older than me), whilst not all out homophobic, he dislikes gays being so much on TV and films etc. His point is that gays make up only 2% of the population wheras there seems to be a gay couple in most storylines now. I point out that cops, writers and journalists make up far less but they sure have a lot of shows and films. Plus you are 20 times more likely to see a talking animal on screen than a gay couple kiss (porn excepted). We both have been married with kids and whilst I view it as just one of those things that I did, he still views it as very special. My opinion is why cannot gays have the same right to be as unhappy as us straights?
Any of you fellas think people lived before agricultural revolution were happier than today’s ...
273kelvin comments on Mar 6, 2018:
We certainly paid less taxes. They did a survey on the most taxed parish in medieval England in the middle ages. I think it was about 38 days to the Lord. As it happens the same parish has a Mercedes plat there now and the workers pay 3 times more tax
How do I stop my negative self-talk?
273kelvin comments on Mar 6, 2018:
I was dicussing this very subject with a friend of mine last night and what I told her is what I would tell you. Be the best person you can, be kind and thoughtful. wash regulaly. Then the rest of the world can take you as they find you or do one. As to beating yourself up about stuff. Take pride in your own atchievments, be they ever so humble. You have your own place, which you keep nice. You hold down a job, you`re going to collage to better yourself. That`s just the little things that I already know about you, there must be many more that you can come up with?
Do you have a favorite movie?
273kelvin comments on Mar 5, 2018:
I love really old movies like " the African queen " or " a matter of life and death ". I watched " the red shoes " again for the 1st time in ages, it was stunning. I tend to find mordern movies rather banal. the last one that I liked was the Coen brothers version of " the lady killers " but then I love their work. like " Fargo " and " Oh brother where art tho " .
Acupuncture. Any thoughts about it?
273kelvin comments on Mar 4, 2018:
Many years ago Mrs Thatcher when she was PM, had an operation on her hand using acupuncture as an anesthetic. Legend has it at the same time all around the country thousands of wax dolls writhed in agony.
Musicians joke.
273kelvin comments on Mar 4, 2018:
For all those that really don`t get it. This song will explain it all https://youtu.be/Yjx8LNjG3N0
I've started watching Neil deGrasse Tyson's "Cosmos" on Netflix.
273kelvin comments on Mar 4, 2018:
I`m hooked on " the ministry of time ". A spanish tv show in subtitles. Learnt a whole load about Spanish history
Have you ever had someone meet you just to try to convert you?
273kelvin comments on Mar 4, 2018:
I had an odd one night stand (ok we went for two coz the sex was great) with a Nigerian woman I met online. She lived quite a way from me so we were never going to be steady but we dug what each other said online so off I go. She was a collector of sorts, loved sex in all it`s weird and wonderful guises and could tell me of adventures that would make a sailor blush. Turned out that she was a very committed Christian, The rampant sex not withstanding. In the intervening hours of non-coitus, discussed theology. Very odd indeed.
There are days when I feel like I'll never find love again.
273kelvin comments on Mar 4, 2018:
It happens when it happens. In the meantime comfort yourself with toilet seats left down and no missed pan. Watching what you want to watch on tv and no empty cartons of milk replaced in the fridge. https://youtu.be/xiy7D2K7y4g
So this should be fun.
273kelvin comments on Mar 4, 2018:
Crucify a Christian a day and you won't go too far wrong
What do you think about those religitards standing on the street corner shouting about the bible and...
273kelvin comments on Mar 4, 2018:
Live and let live unless you invade my space. Then the gloves are off I`m afraid. If it`s a woman then I quote that BS about women being silent in the temple. If it`s a guy then I get really uppity and ask how dare he be so vain as berate anyone with his particular brand of nonsense when there are so many different versions of it out there? How dare he make assumptions about all insundry without knowing who or what they might be? Vanity, vanity all is vanity, is my chant. Well it passes the time whilst my daughter is in a girly shop and I`m having a smoke outside he he.
Do you ever get the urge to want to take a religious nut's bible and slap the shit outta them with ...
273kelvin comments on Mar 4, 2018:
I just tell them my daughter is always answering back and dissing me, so I ask them to recomend a good slave market where I can sell her. Plus my ex wife continues to wear cloths of a different weave so I want to know how many good stonnings there are in the area.
Silence In Court These are from a book called Disorder in the American Courts, and are things ...
273kelvin comments on Mar 3, 2018:
I love it. Reminds me of John Mortimer. Judge " Do we have the document in question here? " Barrister " No your honor we are having it faxed though " Judge " pardon? " Barrister " He`s faxed it up your honor " Judge " It appears so ".
Fun fact for the day ! The Guillotine was still in use in France, when the first Star Wars film was ...
273kelvin comments on Mar 3, 2018:
People in London traveled by tube to see the last public exercution
I'm so glad you guys opened the door for the "your mom" jokes.
273kelvin comments on Mar 2, 2018:
Yo momma went for swim in Loch Ness and the monster came out and picketed the lake. Another time she was on the beach and a lifeguard said she would have to leave because the tide was waiting to come in. She doesn't use knicker elastic she uses swish rail. When she comes to stay all the rats start throwing themselves on the traps.
Different path?
273kelvin comments on Mar 2, 2018:
Lets look at another revue of "a road less traveled". I too (Mr Frost) took the road less traveled. At first all seemed well, a gentle downhill gradient led me through the yellow wood for about an hour and a half, until I came upon a ford across a stream. This might have been quite a pleasant passage in times of drought but at this particular time of year it was an impassable raging torrent. So with saddened heart and lessened bravado I did a 180 and started to return in the the direction I had whence came. The gentile downhill walk that had previously seemed so pleasant was now an uphill climb. Well I thought it could be worse, it could be raining. Guess what? You got it, the heavens opened to make matters worse the grassy undergrowth concealed a large pot-hole which I inevitably fell into. Up to my waist in mud and seeing no way of escape I cried to the heavens for some deliverance. Just then there came along three stout fellows "my luck has changed" thought I. Not so as they demanded payment for their services ie. all my cash,phone and watch but not surprisingly they left me with this stupid fucking sat-nav.
What is the most important trait you want in a lover?
273kelvin comments on Mar 2, 2018:
Show up.
These cheesy jokes might have seemed like a Gouda idea at the time, but I don’t know if I ...
273kelvin comments on Mar 2, 2018:
Enough already with the cheese jokes or have you still-tons of them left.
Hello @273Kelvin -- and welcome to the group. Named for the man who gave us absolutely nothing, eh?
273kelvin comments on Mar 1, 2018:
What questions might that be?
You guys need to read this.
273kelvin comments on Mar 1, 2018:
How about 40 acres and mule?
Jack and Jill have grown up.
273kelvin comments on Mar 1, 2018:
That`s like the guy walking across a very narrow bridge, when a naked young woman starts walking from the other side. He didn`t know whether to toss himself off or block her passage?
Saying that you do believe in god, but you don't beleive in magic is a bit like saying, I don't have...
273kelvin comments on Mar 1, 2018:
How low can you go.!
Why does being nice to rude people make the situation worse?
273kelvin comments on Mar 1, 2018:
I am reminded of something I heard about " the bonzo dog doo-dar band ". If you don`t know of them they were a kind of alter ogo to the Beatles. Anyway they were travilng across the US in a large car when they were pulled over by a state trouper. He took a look at their long hair and asked " Do you have any drugs? " " No " said Vivian Stanshall, the band leader. " Any guns? " " No " Vivian replied again. " How do propose to protect yourself then? " the trouper asked. " With good manors " said Stanshall with perfect English aplomb. https://youtu.be/8DUEAG5eO6c
Do you believe in any superstitions?
273kelvin comments on Feb 28, 2018:
People often tell this joke about Einstein but I first heard it from Issac Asimov. A young man has an appointment with Johann Carl Friedrich Gauss. The great man is not in when he first enters his office but he notices a horseshoe behind the desk, hung up in the appropriate manor so all the luck will not fall out. When Gauss arrives the young man asks what it is doing there and is he superstitious? " Of course not " Gauss replies " but I am reliably informed be people who know of such things. That it works whether you believe in it or not ". Many years ago I used to busk for a living. Amongst other things it would entail trimming my nails so as to play guitar. Then I heard a superstition that said it was bad luck to cut your nails on a Friday. Every time I did this I made a lot less money, so I would trim my nails on another day instead. Yes I do know this was probably psychosomatic but made more money so...
Apparently there are large animals in Africa which have a huge trunk that a turning to religion and ...
273kelvin comments on Feb 27, 2018:
I went to the doctor because I used to keep putting my shoes on the wrong feet. He said that I had mixamytoesis
Are you in favour of a revolution?
273kelvin comments on Feb 27, 2018:
Ancient Chinese curse " May you live in interesting times " . Yes most are unhappy with our current system but more disgruntled than revolutionary. What would you replace it with? The chances of getting a consensus on that would be astronomical. Most revolutions end up with a far worse govt than before.
Ok people, I'm writing a piece on "what is a assault weapon and why it should be banned" and I ...
273kelvin comments on Feb 27, 2018:
A worthy piece I am sure but from this side of the pond it seems far too tame. US liberals are pussies compared to the European left. The campaign should be to repeal the 2nd amendment. Go for the jugular. I know its sounds untenable but then so many other things have been. Universal civil rights for blacks, women and LGBTV. Ask for $10 an hour and settle for $7.50 for now. The repeal of of the 2nd could be argued and fought for. a, It is not the 1st amendment to be repealed That I believe was the 13th. b, It does not necessarily take anyones guns away. (Other countries have guns owned by their population without it being in their respective constitutions). It merely gives individual states the right to legislate what guns are permissible and who can own them without stepping on the constitution. Just as they do with traffic laws like motorcycle helmets. Repeal the 2nd would by a catchy slogan and would send shivers down the pro gun lobby, forcing them to make larger concessions than they would like.
Are you allergic to anything? If you are, what?
273kelvin comments on Feb 26, 2018:
Nickel, I cannot wear a watch even a leather strap if it has a chrome buckle
What do you do when missionaries or Jehovah's Witnesses come to your door?
273kelvin comments on Feb 26, 2018:
I live in a house with 6 flats. Unfortunately mine is number 1, so anyone calling rings my bell 1st. From delivery guys to cops, muggins has to answer the door. When JW`s call I just say no thank you and then they ask if anyone else in the building would be interested? I say " I doubt it but ring their bell and ask them but leave mine alone please ".
Which religion in your opinion is the worst? Islam or Christianity?
273kelvin comments on Feb 26, 2018:
Islam is like Christianity except it`s still in its adolescence. Look at Christendom around the 1400-1500`s. That`s where Islam is now.
Two guys from Alabama decided they wanted to try ice fishing so the loaded up and went to Minnesota,...
273kelvin comments on Feb 26, 2018:
A guy was fishing off of a railway bridge, so this other guy asks him " how many have you caught? " He answers " your the third "
Do you hate arguing or do you enjoy it?
273kelvin comments on Feb 26, 2018:
Let me tell you a secret. Men do dot argue with there partners if they are right, only if theyre wrong. " What do mean? Its a sad day when a guy can`t disappear for a weekend without all this hassle " or " look what you made me do " " WTF I will be in my den "
Do you hate arguing or do you enjoy it?
273kelvin comments on Feb 26, 2018:
https://youtu.be/XNkjDuSVXiE
Hello @273Kelvin -- and welcome to the group. Named for the man who gave us absolutely nothing, eh?
273kelvin comments on Feb 25, 2018:
Well he did help communication between our two isolated languages ie. the 1st trans-Atlantic cable
You hear about the guy who got hit by lightning 20 times? He always conducted himself properly.
273kelvin comments on Feb 25, 2018:
It reminds me of Dorothy Parker who brushed off her infertility with " Why I`m so popular, I cannot conceive "
Okay I'm warning you this joke may be of bad taste.
273kelvin comments on Feb 25, 2018:
How many married men etc? I told you I would change it. You don`t have to nag me every 18 months !!
I have a neighbour who is very loud and extremely obnoxious. Now I know how Canada feels
273kelvin comments on Feb 25, 2018:
Try being English. Scots Irish, Welsh, French and the US of A all have their day. We have too much hegemony to crow.
I used to write a long time ago.
273kelvin comments on Feb 25, 2018:
Is there something that needs to be done that you really hate to do? Allocate the time to do then sit in front of your keyboard. It is surprising how procrastination can be used in this way. (last time I did this, it was tax returns and got a song I had been working on and off for a year out).
Myself and a friend bought the DR WHO boxset and we watched every episode back to back.
273kelvin comments on Feb 25, 2018:
" Your barred get out now " A time lord walks into a bar
New Job for the College Graduate A young man, hired by a supermarket, reported for his first ...
273kelvin comments on Feb 25, 2018:
A guy gets a job sweeping up in an steel foundry. The foreman hands him his broom and some goggles. " What are the goggles for " he asks " To protect you from the sparks " relied the foreman " You`ll be getting no sparks off this broom comrade "" said the guy.
What did the Zen master say to the hot dog vendor? Make me one with everything!
273kelvin comments on Feb 25, 2018:
And lets look at it in action replay https://youtu.be/xlIrI80og8c
Liberated and waiting?
273kelvin comments on Feb 25, 2018:
Asking out is one thing but sex is another. In today's climate I feel it is imperative that a woman make her intentions clear. If want to have sex with a guy or vice versa let him know because us guys need that up front nowadays.
Should I write a letter to try to revive a relationship?
273kelvin comments on Feb 25, 2018:
Write the letter. For all you know she might be writing one to you right now or thinking of writing one. Love is a rare and hard thing to come by. Tell how much she has been on your mind and that might allay her doubts. He who dares wins
Does being in a gay relationship with a Jehovah's witness (not baptized) work?
273kelvin comments on Feb 25, 2018:
To best of my knowledge the bible says nothing about lesbians. However I do think that there will be a lot of heartache is store for her along the way.

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