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I'm not a big beer drinker, so I should be safe. Lol
SiouxcitySue comments on Mar 8, 2020:
This Is Us . . . unfortunately.
WonderWartHog99 replies on Mar 9, 2020:
When I was a child, I used to hear the phrase "They're so dumb, they'd buy bottled water." The age has crept up on us. People have made their fortunes selling filtered tap water in billions of small plastic bottles. Worse -- they're voting.
life hack
WonderWartHog99 comments on Mar 8, 2020:
## Um, no. Having worked with both bankers and police departments, I know the **sucessful bank robber** averages about $3,000. Pay attention: to get away with it, you only have three minutes before the silent alarm gets the police department there. If you can rob the bank in under three ...
WonderWartHog99 replies on Mar 8, 2020:
@altschmerz I've worked as a journalist/editor in small towns. That exposed me to the both the businessmen of the community (i.e. bankers) and doing police reporting. When you hear they robbed the bank and the bank doesn't know how much they stole, that's because they haven't balanced their books yet. It's never $50,000. On the other hand, if you hold up the liquor store where most sales are in **cash** it's likely you'll do better. Do it at the end of the day before they have a bank run. If you're a little crazier, get a security guard's uniform and a sign that says "Deposit drawer closed. See security guard." Show up after hours. Keep the deposits in a brief case. Gun optional.
Fact check: from coronavirus to Kim Jong Un, Trump makes at least 14 false claims in Fox News town ...
wordywalt comments on Mar 8, 2020:
The idiot Trump simply does not know how NOT to lie.
WonderWartHog99 replies on Mar 8, 2020:
No, no. He doesn't know how to lie WELL. He simply does it badly.
Fact check: from coronavirus to Kim Jong Un, Trump makes at least 14 false claims in Fox News town ...
Charlene comments on Mar 8, 2020:
Of course he did, damn near everything he says is a fucking lie..
WonderWartHog99 replies on Mar 8, 2020:
Fucking lies reproduce.
WONK. - Noun...1) a largely derogatory term for an overly studious or hard-working person; a ...
WonderWartHog99 comments on Mar 8, 2020:
## Maybe IRISH nautical slang. Three years in the US Navy, I never heard it used. It's more often used in comic books as onomatopoeia. BTW, "onomatopoeia" is one of those words MOST people forget right after high school. (Coming to this spot soon: a bunch of people saying "I know what it ...
WonderWartHog99 replies on Mar 8, 2020:
@Marionville > Are you descended from native Americans or immigrants? In terms of genealogy, I'm a mutt. Therefore I identify myself as a gringo from Dixie. ๐Ÿคซ >you are more European than American anyway! Not according to the US State Department. Here the most common way to be a citizen is to be born here. Good enough for the State Department to issue me a passport. After x number of generations your family living in the same country, one becomes an unquestioned native of that country. Some of my ancestors insist they were **created** in America. There's no way you can tell them they got here by way of a land bridge from Mongolia. I'm far, far removed from the countries (yes, PLURAL) of many of my century old ancestors. Ergo, when asked what my ethnic background is I say American. When Black people in the US visit Africa, they're shocked the locals treat them as **Americans.** Imagine: no such thing as an Afro-American in Africa. They're all Americans.
WONK. - Noun...1) a largely derogatory term for an overly studious or hard-working person; a ...
WonderWartHog99 comments on Mar 8, 2020:
## Maybe IRISH nautical slang. Three years in the US Navy, I never heard it used. It's more often used in comic books as onomatopoeia. BTW, "onomatopoeia" is one of those words MOST people forget right after high school. (Coming to this spot soon: a bunch of people saying "I know what it ...
WonderWartHog99 replies on Mar 8, 2020:
@Marionville As I understand it, Northern Ireland is part of United Kingdom but the southern part of Ireland isn't part of the UK. Therefore I presume one country, two navies. As far as know, the south part of Ireland has a navy of two guys and a row boat. I wouldn't hesitate to guess the nautical slang of the Swiss navy but I know here in gringo land . . . . . Additionally I would think Americans are the largest SINGLE group of people speaking English although I would expect the British to argue they're the only ones speaking and spelling it correctly. After that, they'll argue among themselves who speaks English better in different shires. Ergo the American stereotype of Brits as prissy little farts. > I think that kind of outranks your subordinate version in the USA! Apparently not well enough to defeat us in the revolution. There was a point in American history where we could have wound up all speaking German. There exists small communities in gringo land where they prefer to speak German, Czech, Spanish, Japaneses or Danish. This leads us to an American proverb "Anything you say about America is true."
anyone else sense the deep irony in that message
AtheistInNC comments on Mar 8, 2020:
proof that there is no god.
WonderWartHog99 replies on Mar 8, 2020:
Lame proof. It's proof they'll will not use the SAME water for every worshiper and may convert to using distilled water straight from the jug. All holy water is merely water blessed by a priest. It's not like they ship it in from the Dead Sea, blessed by the pope.
@bloodsukingwolf -- Hello, and welcome to the group. Get some bio information up soon, please.
Petter comments on Feb 27, 2020:
Welcome. What is your interest in this group? I was a publisher and editor.
WonderWartHog99 replies on Mar 8, 2020:
Mind writing some rave reviews for my up coming book? ๐Ÿ˜‡
The gems you can find at a tag sale...
bobwjr comments on Mar 7, 2020:
LMAO jebus butt plug
WonderWartHog99 replies on Mar 7, 2020:
That's my theory as well. However I suppose it could be used as a tent stake.
UNDERWHELM. - Verb...fail to impress or make a serious impact on (someone), disappoint completely,...
WonderWartHog99 comments on Mar 7, 2020:
## One never hears "Whelm me. Whelm me some more." No over or unders, you hear?
WonderWartHog99 replies on Mar 7, 2020:
@Marionville You're held back by chiggers.
today is one of them
WonderWartHog99 comments on Mar 6, 2020:
## Therefore be evil and resort to adverbs and adjectives, you pitiful slut puppy of the meadow muffin eating clan; you sniveling snit, you worthless twit . . . . Hey, what's a bachelor's degree in English good for? Watch this space for someone asking "What's a 'meadow muffin'?"
WonderWartHog99 replies on Mar 7, 2020:
@TheoryNumber3 Wait, wait! You haven't started your courses on different animal types of animal dropping, i.e. horse vs chicken and if zoo doo is worth the trip?
today is one of them
WonderWartHog99 comments on Mar 6, 2020:
## Therefore be evil and resort to adverbs and adjectives, you pitiful slut puppy of the meadow muffin eating clan; you sniveling snit, you worthless twit . . . . Hey, what's a bachelor's degree in English good for? Watch this space for someone asking "What's a 'meadow muffin'?"
WonderWartHog99 replies on Mar 7, 2020:
@TheoryNumber3 I was the first time I've ever used my poop emoji. In Texas they have contests over who can throw bovine excrement the furthest. The local television stations have coverage of the contests in the evening broadcast. The winners drone on about shaping the "cow events" to go further without breaking up, the desired moisture content . . . ๐Ÿ’ฉ While they call the contest "buffalo chip toss offs" it's rarely buffalo dung. One guy bought a herd of buffalo to make it historically correct for his contest. Why I know too much how discuss shit in polite terms.
Pes·ti·lence noun: pestilence; plural noun: pestilences a fatal epidemic disease, ...
Outlier comments on Mar 6, 2020:
Stuff like this
WonderWartHog99 replies on Mar 7, 2020:
Why does that germ have to look so festive?
I did not know where to put this post so here seems the best place. I was recently reminded of an ...
WonderWartHog99 comments on Mar 6, 2020:
## When I was three years old, my parents took me to a deer park which was full of fawns. They were working with the premise I'd pet the fawns. Our youngest son is cute. Fawns are cute. It'll be a bonding experience. The fawns had a different premise. The fawns head butted me, knocking me on the ...
WonderWartHog99 replies on Mar 7, 2020:
@273kelvin >Not quite the same as being headbutted by deer An attack by a herd of fawns, thank you. Grown deer would have trampled me. In the animal world the young and weak and not our species, stay on the hit list. I'm amazed you got out of the bakery without demands to pay for the wedding cake. Grateful you didn't film it to show it to her again and again.
Trump goes to India. He's warmly received. Largely unreported was the anti-muslim riots that ...
SeaGreenEyez comments on Mar 6, 2020:
Tulsa Gabbard is being blamed. (Modi has always held deep-seated anti-Muslim sentiment, and as a country, India is anti-anything that isn't Hindu. Nearly 80% citizens identity as Hindu.) Trump certainly prompted the violence, he didn't start or even inflame the sentiment. **Tulsi ...
WonderWartHog99 replies on Mar 7, 2020:
According to your source, during Trump's 36 hour visit "at least" four mosques were burnt down by angry mobs.
Life comparison.
BestWithoutGods comments on Mar 5, 2020:
My favorite sign over a urinal was in Italy. Translating it to English: "What you have in your hand is not a hydrant, and on the floor there is no fire." ๐Ÿคฃ๐Ÿ˜‚๐Ÿคฃ๐Ÿ˜‚
WonderWartHog99 replies on Mar 6, 2020:
@BestWithoutGods You might prefer this one.
today is one of them
WonderWartHog99 comments on Mar 6, 2020:
## Therefore be evil and resort to adverbs and adjectives, you pitiful slut puppy of the meadow muffin eating clan; you sniveling snit, you worthless twit . . . . Hey, what's a bachelor's degree in English good for? Watch this space for someone asking "What's a 'meadow muffin'?"
WonderWartHog99 replies on Mar 6, 2020:
@TheoryNumber3 A meadow muffin is sun baked and crusty cow patty which can be used as fuel. On the other hand, a cow patty is still in it's soupy near liquid state. Because I keep a manure pile for my garden, I know shit. ๐Ÿ’ฉ > I've heard the words "pitiful slut"? That's the one who has done it often but has to beg to get some action EVERY TIME.
TAUTOLOGY. - Noun...saying the same thing twice, using different words in the same sentence, ...
Charlene comments on Mar 6, 2020:
The swine Drump is an orange pig..
WonderWartHog99 replies on Mar 6, 2020:
@itsmedammit Moi, sneak up on you with admiration?
Life comparison.
BestWithoutGods comments on Mar 5, 2020:
My favorite sign over a urinal was in Italy. Translating it to English: "What you have in your hand is not a hydrant, and on the floor there is no fire." ๐Ÿคฃ๐Ÿ˜‚๐Ÿคฃ๐Ÿ˜‚
WonderWartHog99 replies on Mar 6, 2020:
@BestWithoutGods Who could forget?
Life comparison.
BestWithoutGods comments on Mar 5, 2020:
My favorite sign over a urinal was in Italy. Translating it to English: "What you have in your hand is not a hydrant, and on the floor there is no fire." ๐Ÿคฃ๐Ÿ˜‚๐Ÿคฃ๐Ÿ˜‚
WonderWartHog99 replies on Mar 6, 2020:
@AtheistInNC Bathroom graffiti may vary from stall to stall. No copyright laws. The classic for me is: Here I sit, broken hearted. Came to shit, only farted.
Trump goes to India. He's warmly received. Largely unreported was the anti-muslim riots that ...
zeuser comments on Mar 6, 2020:
I believe if the Indian people know what an anti-Muslim bigot he is, then yes.
WonderWartHog99 replies on Mar 6, 2020:
@zeuser What used to get to me is India is one of the world's greatest powers but 90% of US citizens couldn't tell you the name of their prime minister on a dare.
Late winter is when I get frost tolerant stuff in the ground like peas. As a child, I thought sugar ...
whiskywoman comments on Mar 4, 2020:
I love seed catalogues
WonderWartHog99 replies on Mar 6, 2020:
@whiskywoman I used to go to Superseed.com for the best varieties of seeds. I forget the name of the company and the web site is down. They had CHEAP packets of seeds but they might only have 20 seeds to the packet. When I wasn't sure WHAT plants I could grow, I'd order from them. It's been such a long time since I ordered from them, I forgot the name of the company.
TAUTOLOGY. - Noun...saying the same thing twice, using different words in the same sentence, ...
LenHazell53 comments on Mar 6, 2020:
Tautologies can become so complex that they hide in plain site usually mascaraing as ontology such as the well known proof of god given by St. Anselm Existence is a necessary attribute of Perfection God is by definition perfect Therefore God exists It does not look like a tautology but it is...
WonderWartHog99 replies on Mar 6, 2020:
@LenHazell53 I must have nodded off on that part of debate class. I remember objecting to your God argument by saying "If God is perfect, He makes perfect things. Therefore, the world is perfect. Might be a flaw there. Now let's go back to square one: there's a God?"
I actually think this is the perfect response to those jerks who blame natural disasters on gay ...
WonderWartHog99 comments on Mar 6, 2020:
## When we getting the frogs? Nobody remembers the frogs.
WonderWartHog99 replies on Mar 6, 2020:
@OldMetalHead Although a favorite snack in Old Mexico, one never sees roasted and chili seasoned crickets in the US/Mexican restaurants.
TAUTOLOGY. - Noun...saying the same thing twice, using different words in the same sentence, ...
Charlene comments on Mar 6, 2020:
The swine Drump is an orange pig..
WonderWartHog99 replies on Mar 6, 2020:
@itsmedammit I bow to your superior logic.
Trump goes to India. He's warmly received. Largely unreported was the anti-muslim riots that ...
zeuser comments on Mar 6, 2020:
I believe if the Indian people know what an anti-Muslim bigot he is, then yes.
WonderWartHog99 replies on Mar 6, 2020:
Head of the most powerful military country in the world? How would they not know?
TAUTOLOGY. - Noun...saying the same thing twice, using different words in the same sentence, ...
Charlene comments on Mar 6, 2020:
The swine Drump is an orange pig..
WonderWartHog99 replies on Mar 6, 2020:
@itsmedammit Don't you need more than one color to be colorful?
TAUTOLOGY. - Noun...saying the same thing twice, using different words in the same sentence, ...
LenHazell53 comments on Mar 6, 2020:
Tautologies can become so complex that they hide in plain site usually mascaraing as ontology such as the well known proof of god given by St. Anselm Existence is a necessary attribute of Perfection God is by definition perfect Therefore God exists It does not look like a tautology but it is...
WonderWartHog99 replies on Mar 6, 2020:
@LenHazell53 I write all my theological claims under the inspiration of three cocktails, therefore all booze leads to theological claims. Naw. That's circular reasoning. Tautology is the repetitive word choices. After three shots to the wind, I may wind up here tossing bull twinkies about.
I actually think this is the perfect response to those jerks who blame natural disasters on gay ...
WonderWartHog99 comments on Mar 6, 2020:
## When we getting the frogs? Nobody remembers the frogs.
WonderWartHog99 replies on Mar 6, 2020:
@OldMetalHead Egypt is in Africa where the biblical plagues took place. In most countries in Africa locusts are dinner tonight. State side, we're not big on eating bugs.
TAUTOLOGY. - Noun...saying the same thing twice, using different words in the same sentence, ...
Charlene comments on Mar 6, 2020:
The swine Drump is an orange pig..
WonderWartHog99 replies on Mar 6, 2020:
To quote chief Rachael Ray "Winner, winner, chicken dinner."
TAUTOLOGY. - Noun...saying the same thing twice, using different words in the same sentence, ...
WonderWartHog99 comments on Mar 6, 2020:
## One example: “This is like deja vu all over again” (Yogi Berra). Another example: “Your acting is completely devoid of emotion.” Devoid is defined as “completely empty.” Thus, completely devoid is an example of tautology.
WonderWartHog99 replies on Mar 6, 2020:
@LenHazell53 Heap of scrolling isn't it?
TAUTOLOGY. - Noun...saying the same thing twice, using different words in the same sentence, ...
LenHazell53 comments on Mar 6, 2020:
Tautologies can become so complex that they hide in plain site usually mascaraing as ontology such as the well known proof of god given by St. Anselm Existence is a necessary attribute of Perfection God is by definition perfect Therefore God exists It does not look like a tautology but it is...
WonderWartHog99 replies on Mar 6, 2020:
That is called circular reasoning. Not a tautology.
TAUTOLOGY. - Noun...saying the same thing twice, using different words in the same sentence, ...
WonderWartHog99 comments on Mar 6, 2020:
## One example: “This is like deja vu all over again” (Yogi Berra). Another example: “Your acting is completely devoid of emotion.” Devoid is defined as “completely empty.” Thus, completely devoid is an example of tautology.
WonderWartHog99 replies on Mar 6, 2020:
@LenHazell53 Okay, let's hear YOUR examples.
When I lived in Hickory Tavern, SC, we didn't have garbage pick up. About every three weeks I had to...
Surfpirate comments on Mar 6, 2020:
I'm not sure if Petunia is (a) a horse that likes rides to the dump (b) a woman who likes riding around looking at horses (c) a horsefaced woman who you took to the dump (d) all of the above
WonderWartHog99 replies on Mar 6, 2020:
"Because women can go all goo looking at horses, I would always invited Petunia along for our "romantic trip to the dump." >[ is Petunia] a horse that likes rides to the dump Reading is fundamental. She didn't want to go to the dump.
TAUTOLOGY. - Noun...saying the same thing twice, using different words in the same sentence, ...
WonderWartHog99 comments on Mar 6, 2020:
## One example: “This is like deja vu all over again” (Yogi Berra). Another example: “Your acting is completely devoid of emotion.” Devoid is defined as “completely empty.” Thus, completely devoid is an example of tautology.
WonderWartHog99 replies on Mar 6, 2020:
@Marionville One sentence could be re-written as " . . . completely, completely lacking . . . " and still make the same amount of sense. Likewise Yogi's sentence could be written as "This all over again" or "This is deja vu." These sentences were approved by the Redundant Department of Redundancy. Yogi is an American sage. He's also famous for telling one guy how to get to his house as ". . . when you come to a fork in the road, take it." His statement is less confusing once you know the fork was to a loop road. No matter which direction chosen, you'd still get to his house. Both of my tauntology examples are from Yogi and have become known as "Yogisms." Other Yogisms include: No one goes there nowadays, itโ€™s too crowded. Baseball is 90% mental and the other half is physical. A nickel ainโ€™t worth a dime anymore. Always go to other peopleโ€™s funerals, otherwise they wonโ€™t come to yours. We made too many wrong mistakes. Congratulations. I knew the record would stand until it was broken. You better cut the pizza in four pieces because Iโ€™m not hungry enough to eat six. You wouldnโ€™t have won if weโ€™d beaten you. To scratch your head some more see: https://ftw.usatoday.com/2019/03/the-50-greatest-yogi-berra-quotes
I see dumb people...
Rudy1962 comments on Mar 4, 2020:
Have you seen who is president?
WonderWartHog99 replies on Mar 6, 2020:
@Rudy1962 Side effects include halitosis that could stun a moose.
Late winter is when I get frost tolerant stuff in the ground like peas. As a child, I thought sugar ...
Lilac-Jade comments on Mar 4, 2020:
I love sugar snaps & eat them with my breakfast almost daily. I also toss them into stir frys. My husband wants to try growing them this year.
WonderWartHog99 replies on Mar 6, 2020:
@Lilac-Jade Wild garlic chives grow in profusion here. Mowing the yard smells like soup.
Life comparison.
BestWithoutGods comments on Mar 5, 2020:
My favorite sign over a urinal was in Italy. Translating it to English: "What you have in your hand is not a hydrant, and on the floor there is no fire." ๐Ÿคฃ๐Ÿ˜‚๐Ÿคฃ๐Ÿ˜‚
WonderWartHog99 replies on Mar 6, 2020:
Don't piss on the floor. Be a hero, piss on the ceiling.
punc·til·i·ous /หŒpษ™NG(k)หˆtilฤ“ษ™s/ adjective: showing great attention to detail or correct...
altschmerz comments on Mar 5, 2020:
How do you pronounce ๐Ÿ’‹
WonderWartHog99 replies on Mar 6, 2020:
I included the punctuation guide in the original definition. For reason beyond the pale, the system put a kiss symbol in the middle of it. Slurp loudly while saying it.
But...that looks like...
SiouxcitySue comments on Mar 4, 2020:
Looks like What??????
WonderWartHog99 replies on Mar 5, 2020:
@AnneWimsey Teflon coated with optional vibrate mode?
SYBARITIC. - Adjective...fond of sensuous luxury or pleasure, self-indulgent “they led an opulent...
Charlene comments on Mar 5, 2020:
I'd love a sybarian machine..๐Ÿ˜ˆ
WonderWartHog99 replies on Mar 5, 2020:
Have you seen their gas powered four stroke model built for four?
I see dumb people...
Rudy1962 comments on Mar 4, 2020:
Have you seen who is president?
WonderWartHog99 replies on Mar 5, 2020:
@Rudy1962 It's brewed in the finest unwashed toilets of Mexico and sold with a wedge of lime.
I see dumb people...
Rudy1962 comments on Mar 4, 2020:
Have you seen who is president?
WonderWartHog99 replies on Mar 5, 2020:
Have you drunk one of their beers? ๐Ÿคข๐Ÿคฎ
Late winter is when I get frost tolerant stuff in the ground like peas. As a child, I thought sugar ...
Lilac-Jade comments on Mar 4, 2020:
I love sugar snaps & eat them with my breakfast almost daily. I also toss them into stir frys. My husband wants to try growing them this year.
WonderWartHog99 replies on Mar 5, 2020:
@Lilac-Jade I often grow culinary herbs, learning in the process all the types of basil they have. Going to the farmer's markets, I often learn about relatively exotic vegetables that CAN grow here but the supermarkets NEVER carry.
But...that looks like...
SiouxcitySue comments on Mar 4, 2020:
Looks like What??????
WonderWartHog99 replies on Mar 5, 2020:
@AnneWimsey Powered by a USB plug? I might be better off not knowing.
Do you personally adhere to the whole "three dates" thing before attempting to get physical with ...
BitFlipper comments on Mar 4, 2020:
I'm interested in this *"3 dates"* thing. A third date with the same woman is extremely rare. And if they're expecting me to get physical . . . no wonder they lose interest. So if there's some standard, why do women never initiate?
WonderWartHog99 replies on Mar 5, 2020:
Don't say "never." It's hard to forget a gal who insisted on our first date we should skip dinner and head straight to the bedroom. After that surprise dalliance, it was a SUCH a relaxed dinner. On the far extreme, I dated a woman who claimed she was asexual for three years. She was my wing woman. After directing women my way for three years, she figured it was her turn. I still have shaky theories why when women see me with another woman, it makes them want me more. If Petunia ever leaves me, I want another asexual woman for nights out on the town. Once Jean had changed her mind about her asexuality, it was "tie me down and spank me." After that, she got so horny that she decided to get two more lovers. One of them was married. The married guy dropped her off at my place with suitcases once his wife came home. I was shocked. Somebody bought her a couple of suitcases? When we'd go out on a date, she always stuffed her clothes in grocery bags. Women are too varied to make generalizations.
Three Religious Skid Marks.
Novelty comments on Mar 4, 2020:
I am butt dust... ๐Ÿ˜‚
WonderWartHog99 replies on Mar 5, 2020:
Would that lead to butt mud during a rain storm?
Foster Feels the Bern
Rudy1962 comments on Mar 4, 2020:
whose’s a wise doggy?
WonderWartHog99 replies on Mar 4, 2020:
How did he learn to make memes and type?
Late winter is when I get frost tolerant stuff in the ground like peas. As a child, I thought sugar ...
whiskywoman comments on Mar 4, 2020:
I love seed catalogues
WonderWartHog99 replies on Mar 4, 2020:
Seed catalog companies sell their mailing list to other seed companies. If you get one seed catalog, another will be following it especial if you buy seeds from any of them.
Late winter is when I get frost tolerant stuff in the ground like peas. As a child, I thought sugar ...
Lilac-Jade comments on Mar 4, 2020:
I love sugar snaps & eat them with my breakfast almost daily. I also toss them into stir frys. My husband wants to try growing them this year.
WonderWartHog99 replies on Mar 4, 2020:
Get ye to Old Farmer's Almanac. While it contains a pound and a quarter of baloney (especially for weather forecasts), it does tell when and which plant to plant for your agriculture zone. Ignore the DAY you're suppose to plant, just look at the month to plant. With sugar snaps, it's the around the day of the last killing frost. I've seen sugar snaps come back AFTER a killing frost. I'm lucky to live near a major land grant agriculture university (Clemson University). I can get SUCH expert advice. Do they have master gardener programs where you live?
Some people! LMAO!!!!
WonderWartHog99 comments on Mar 4, 2020:
## Hey! I remember her.
WonderWartHog99 replies on Mar 4, 2020:
@MichelleGar1 Jean had a third of brain knocked out. She got out at night on a bicycle in the highway passing lane and got hit by a pick up truck doing 80 mph. I went to visit her in the nursing home for two years until it got too depressing to go. When she'd see me, she'd pull up her gown to show off her crotch, even with her mother around. Due to brain loss, she was unable to talk or eat. Sad case. Oh, I say she remembers me. Since then, I moved out of town and the nursing home closed down. I don't know where she is or if she's still alive.
Once again: if you are against gay marriage for any reason, you're a fucking moron. No, there is ...
Jacar comments on Mar 3, 2020:
Exactly! Especially given the number of children needing care and adoption.
WonderWartHog99 replies on Mar 4, 2020:
@JayOleck38 When I'd hear that crap-a-zola, I'd ask "If I wanted to turn you into a faggot boy (nobody cared if little girls turned into lesbians), what would I have to do to make your pecker get hard for other guys?" Blank stares followed.
Another deep thought
BudFrank comments on Mar 3, 2020:
Do we really want to know?
WonderWartHog99 replies on Mar 4, 2020:
Is Penthouse *Variations* still being published? They had memorable "letters" to the editor, stuff like dipping testicles in the gold fish bowl and worse. That's another way to kill your fish.
On the 14th of this month of March 2020 i will turn 76 years old. Went for my annual medical ...
WonderWartHog99 comments on Mar 3, 2020:
## Golly Wally, you defined the word smug.
WonderWartHog99 replies on Mar 4, 2020:
@VAL3941 Those of us with the FSM call it piracy. Gotta practice the faith.
I would like to be the first to wish everyone a happy "I Want You to be Happy Day" this is a ...
St-Sinner comments on Mar 3, 2020:
Thank you. But just feel happy? What about a six pack, dinner takeout and possibly a hoe?
WonderWartHog99 replies on Mar 3, 2020:
You've reminded me: I've got to paint my hoe. I left it outside all winter. I'm talking about a gardening tool, just in case your mind hasn't crawled out of the gutter yet.
On the 14th of this month of March 2020 i will turn 76 years old. Went for my annual medical ...
WonderWartHog99 comments on Mar 3, 2020:
## Golly Wally, you defined the word smug.
WonderWartHog99 replies on Mar 3, 2020:
@OwlInASack She would appreciate you giving her a copy of David Sedaris' book *Me Talk Pretty One Day.* Having read the bound edition, I conclude it might be funnier in audio version. I like the part when he over heard his speech therapist say "We got **another one** who talks like that?"
On the 14th of this month of March 2020 i will turn 76 years old. Went for my annual medical ...
WonderWartHog99 comments on Mar 3, 2020:
## Golly Wally, you defined the word smug.
WonderWartHog99 replies on Mar 3, 2020:
@VAL3941 In your case a swarthy smug mug. Sibilants abound in the land the freaking fricative consonants. Somewhere there's a guy hooked on phonics says "Hey! I know what he's talking about!"
QUIXOTIC - Adjective...extremely idealistic; unrealistic and impractical. Synonyms; ...
WonderWartHog99 comments on Mar 3, 2020:
## Big fan of Aldonza Lorenzo.
WonderWartHog99 replies on Mar 3, 2020:
Time to get out my Sparks Notes and fend off Irish chiggers. @Marionville She is a common vulgar woman who raises pigs (part 1, chapter nine). However she is envisioned by Don Quixote as his fair lady because what knight doesn't have a lady? He promptly renames her. Additionally he tells tales of her beauty and her membership into Spanish royalty. Her renamed fantasy version does not appear in the novel.
QUIXOTIC - Adjective...extremely idealistic; unrealistic and impractical. Synonyms; ...
WonderWartHog99 comments on Mar 3, 2020:
## Big fan of Aldonza Lorenzo.
WonderWartHog99 replies on Mar 3, 2020:
@Marionville She is a character in the novel Don Quixote. The novel is so popular in my home town they named a major street after the author, Cervantes.
No where near Dixie but in the Southwest, Las Cruces,NM.
SukiSue comments on Mar 2, 2020:
Beautiful!
WonderWartHog99 replies on Mar 3, 2020:
@MichelleGar1 I prefer to dunk my green beer bottles in an icy cold mountain stream. One must be careful lest a strong current sweep the jugs down stream, smashing them against rocks.
I need someone to vouch for me please ? @TimeOutForMe thinks I am a serial killer ? An asshole yes,...
WonderWartHog99 comments on Mar 2, 2020:
## Doesn't matter. Currently I've got an Aussie who insists I'm a happy gay who digs up the dead for sexual satisfaction. It's a childish pastime of making insults without any proof the insults are true. Likewise you're dealing with a person with a emotional IQ of 12.
WonderWartHog99 replies on Mar 3, 2020:
@VAL3941 I'm just a gringo from Dixie. I'm a big fan of Zorba the Greek. See meme. "Boss, life is trouble and death is not." -- Zorba.
No where near Dixie but in the Southwest, Las Cruces,NM.
SukiSue comments on Mar 2, 2020:
Beautiful!
WonderWartHog99 replies on Mar 2, 2020:
@MichelleGar1 Clamping is for those who plan to live in a park, pulling up roots anytime the limit they can stay in the camp grounds starts to run out. Then they come right back the same day.
No where near Dixie but in the Southwest, Las Cruces,NM.
SukiSue comments on Mar 2, 2020:
Beautiful!
WonderWartHog99 replies on Mar 2, 2020:
@MichelleGar1 After five miles into a hike, I'd assume well shaken and warm beer.
Not Really A Meme... and please don't mock this images (ie have some respect.) But I feel like you ...
WonderWartHog99 comments on Mar 2, 2020:
## Me mock? That would be shameless. Not that I've got any shame.
WonderWartHog99 replies on Mar 2, 2020:
@scurry Three years into our marriage, Petunia stopped talking about renewing our vows. I agreed I'd do that but only if we got a voodoo priest to perform the services. I want dancing women and booze next time. At our wedding they wouldn't allow us to toast each other with champagne and were shocked we used carbonated grape juice instead. Possibly nobody would show up if I had to explain a FSM priest to them.
Not true anymore, but I can definitely relate!
BudFrank comments on Mar 2, 2020:
I know the feeling
WonderWartHog99 replies on Mar 2, 2020:
@EyesThatSmile I bought a sign for Petunia that said "You had me at chocolate." It helps explain what she's doing with me.
Umm.....
WonderWartHog99 comments on Mar 2, 2020:
## There have been times I wish I had one those masks cat sized. Percy, my tomcat, isn't always in a good mood.
WonderWartHog99 replies on Mar 2, 2020:
@MichelleGar1 >I'm worse than them! If you bury your bowel movements in the garden, shed fur all over the place and beg to sleep with a married couple right outside their bedroom door -- I'll want to know more.๐Ÿ˜ˆ๐Ÿ˜ˆ
No where near Dixie but in the Southwest, Las Cruces,NM.
SukiSue comments on Mar 2, 2020:
Beautiful!
WonderWartHog99 replies on Mar 2, 2020:
@MichelleGar1 It's more practical to backpack with liquor than beer. A 5th is lighter than a case of beer.
Umm.....
WonderWartHog99 comments on Mar 2, 2020:
## There have been times I wish I had one those masks cat sized. Percy, my tomcat, isn't always in a good mood.
WonderWartHog99 replies on Mar 2, 2020:
@MichelleGar1 Some cats can only tolerate ten seconds of petting before they'll bite you. With Percy, it depends on his mood.
No where near Dixie but in the Southwest, Las Cruces,NM.
SukiSue comments on Mar 2, 2020:
Beautiful!
WonderWartHog99 replies on Mar 2, 2020:
@MichelleGar1 I hope he takes the plane when he visits. I used to joke when I drive long distances to campgrounds I leave a trail of beer can behind me. Got to find my way back. Doesn't work. A person needs to find a place to pee too often to be practical. ๐Ÿ˜บ๐Ÿ˜ธ๐Ÿ˜น
No where near Dixie but in the Southwest, Las Cruces,NM.
WonderWartHog99 comments on Mar 2, 2020:
## Anywhere near a campground with shade?
WonderWartHog99 replies on Mar 2, 2020:
@MichelleGar1 Thanks for the response. There are plenty of parks will let you pitch your tent off the trail as long as you obey some basic rules such as: 1) At least 50 feet away from a stream. 2) Bury human waste. 3) No open campfires. 4) Register with the rangers when and where you're entering the trail(s). I've yet to find a park where they charge a registration fee. Their major deal is if you don't come out, the rangers know where to start looking. Are you familiar with the word "boondocking" as it relates to camping?
Never would have guessed....
FrayedBear comments on Feb 25, 2020:
Very prescient - coffee wasn't common until the 15th century https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/History_of_coffee
WonderWartHog99 replies on Mar 2, 2020:
@FrayedBear I typed "LMAO meme" into my search engine and got about 100 examples on the first try. Evil fart that I am, I know how that "add photo" icon works.
PANJANDRUM. - Noun...1) a person who has, or claims to have, a great deal of authority or ...
FrayedBear comments on Mar 2, 2020:
Wasn't panjandrum used recently? For those who haven't read Foote's verse it is available - https://www.gutenberg.org/files/18417/18417-h/18417-h.htm
WonderWartHog99 replies on Mar 2, 2020:
Your example is a children's picture book from a previous century.
Information i hope you never use
WonderWartHog99 comments on Mar 1, 2020:
## Take this raccoon and shove it!
WonderWartHog99 replies on Mar 2, 2020:
@SiouxcitySue It's up to you to shove the second raccoon. I'll watch you do it and learn from my previous mistakes. Sometimes it a takes a twisted wild life expert and I didn't get that merit badge.
Easy guide to know if she's in the mood...
WonderWartHog99 comments on Feb 28, 2020:
## I wonder about the sign for an urge for lurid licking on the tasty bits.
WonderWartHog99 replies on Mar 2, 2020:
@SiouxcitySue Mercy sakes, gal! You hang out at all the right playgrounds. ๐Ÿคฃ
Never would have guessed....
FrayedBear comments on Feb 25, 2020:
Very prescient - coffee wasn't common until the 15th century https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/History_of_coffee
WonderWartHog99 replies on Mar 2, 2020:
@FrayedBear Fess up. You're just here to gather insulting memes from my files.
I think the each member on the site should be awarded at least 1.000 points for each year he or she ...
freedom41 comments on Mar 1, 2020:
I've been on here for a little 2 years and an extra 2,000 points would be cool. It would we inch me closer to level 8.3 .
WonderWartHog99 replies on Mar 2, 2020:
I've often wondered what am I doing at level 8.5? For the amount of time getting there, I could have brought in a crop and used 18 cans of car wax on the car.
Detroit tried to plant trees in the hood. Detroit is 80% black and the black community fought ...
AnonySchmoose comments on Feb 28, 2020:
I'm wondering why Detroit encouraged tree-planting and would not commit to maintain the trees beyond three years. Trees need regular maintenance.
WonderWartHog99 replies on Mar 2, 2020:
@AnonySchmoose Send those people to Navy boot camp. Once they're in the Navy sing a little ditty I learned in boot camp. Sailor, sailor don't be blue. My recruiter screwed me too.
Never would have guessed....
FrayedBear comments on Feb 25, 2020:
Very prescient - coffee wasn't common until the 15th century https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/History_of_coffee
WonderWartHog99 replies on Mar 1, 2020:
@FrayedBear Are you one of those Aussies still emotionally in the fourth grade?
NULLIFIDIAN. - Noun...a person having no faith or religious belief: Adjective...having no faith or...
Theresa_N comments on Feb 29, 2020:
Never knew I was a nullifidian. Very interesting.
WonderWartHog99 replies on Mar 1, 2020:
@Marionville Archie Bunker was a key character in an old, popular situation comedy *All in the Family.* It was copied from an English situation comedy. Here a collection of some his more popular quips. Skip a head a bit to avoid the commercial plugs. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_Upe_VXCzJI Hope you can understand his thick accent.
Never would have guessed....
FrayedBear comments on Feb 25, 2020:
Very prescient - coffee wasn't common until the 15th century https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/History_of_coffee
WonderWartHog99 replies on Mar 1, 2020:
@FrayedBear >I have no plan to go to Portugal. Contrasted with: >Re cruise to Portugal I'm going to make another necrophylliac homosexual happy Imagine my confusion.
NULLIFIDIAN. - Noun...a person having no faith or religious belief: Adjective...having no faith or...
Theresa_N comments on Feb 29, 2020:
Never knew I was a nullifidian. Very interesting.
WonderWartHog99 replies on Mar 1, 2020:
@Marionville Without a pronunciation guide, I wouldn't know. It's hard to forget Archy Bunker calling appetizers as "Whore e a doors." I used to pronounce "Merlot" the way it's spelled, not the way it's correctly pronounced. Pissed off Petunia, who doesn't like red wine.
Detroit tried to plant trees in the hood. Detroit is 80% black and the black community fought ...
AnonySchmoose comments on Feb 28, 2020:
I'm wondering why Detroit encouraged tree-planting and would not commit to maintain the trees beyond three years. Trees need regular maintenance.
WonderWartHog99 replies on Mar 1, 2020:
@AnonySchmoose In funky town, swimming is considered a white elitist sport and therefor most blacks don't swim. In navy boot camp it's required for graduation to swim. After all, the ship might sink. Swim course in boot camp is almost exclusively black. That was my joke about building swimming pools in black neighborhoods. They don't want it and therefore don't need it. Might as well build a polo field for residents living in a mobile home park.
Never would have guessed....
FrayedBear comments on Feb 25, 2020:
Very prescient - coffee wasn't common until the 15th century https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/History_of_coffee
WonderWartHog99 replies on Feb 29, 2020:
@FrayedBear "Wooden overcoat" is not a known phrase in the states. You plan to visit Portugal to make a "necrophylliac homosexual happy"? You're whipping out those non-sequitur all over the place. She has been blissfully ignorant of mountains in Australia because I don't tell her about our conversations. What I said is she loves travel as long as she picks where we're going. I mentioned Cuba as place I want to visit but she doesn't. You appear to be hung up on ''"necrophylliac homosexuals." " . . . . & LMAO." Uh, Licking Murphy's Ass Off?" On second thought, don't tell me.
Good Evening Everyone! Feeling close to normal after food shopping and playing Trivia. I had cabin ...
Petter comments on Feb 28, 2020:
Nighty night, or in my case, good morning!
WonderWartHog99 replies on Feb 29, 2020:
@Petter According to my father-in-law the best part of the evening is having someone tuck you in.
Good Evening Everyone! Feeling close to normal after food shopping and playing Trivia. I had cabin ...
Petter comments on Feb 28, 2020:
Nighty night, or in my case, good morning!
WonderWartHog99 replies on Feb 29, 2020:
@Petter In that case it's 1:40 a.m. on a Sunday there while it's 7:40 p.m. Saturday here.
Never would have guessed....
FrayedBear comments on Feb 25, 2020:
Very prescient - coffee wasn't common until the 15th century https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/History_of_coffee
WonderWartHog99 replies on Feb 29, 2020:
@FrayedBear I have no clue how Cuba and Kegel exercises are related nor what you mean by a "wooden overcoat." This morning Petunia was looking a one way transatlantic cruise to Portugal, muttering "Only $1,500." She wouldn't consider coming back to the states by way of tramp steamer. Considering how Trump is shooting ill considered comments at our allies, we might not be able to get a visa.
Easy guide to know if she's in the mood...
WonderWartHog99 comments on Feb 28, 2020:
## I wonder about the sign for an urge for lurid licking on the tasty bits.
WonderWartHog99 replies on Feb 29, 2020:
@SiouxcitySue The old dirty joke (Quick! Hide the children!) is a guy walks up to a bar tender and asks "I can't understand why that guy over there **always** gets a woman to take him to her place, sometimes within five minutes. All he does is sit at the bar, licking his forehead." Large turn off, you say? ๐Ÿ˜ป๐Ÿ™€๐ŸคŸ๐Ÿฝ๐Ÿ‘…
Everything Posie Parker is great. She speaks truth about the insanity of the trans-cult's impact on...
Novelty comments on Feb 28, 2020:
You know how there’s soft porn? This is soft hate. You know how soft porn is still porn? That’s how this is hate.
WonderWartHog99 replies on Feb 29, 2020:
Soft core porn is underwear ads. Hard core porn requires close ups of tasty bits in action.
Detroit tried to plant trees in the hood. Detroit is 80% black and the black community fought ...
AnonySchmoose comments on Feb 28, 2020:
I'm wondering why Detroit encouraged tree-planting and would not commit to maintain the trees beyond three years. Trees need regular maintenance.
WonderWartHog99 replies on Feb 29, 2020:
@AnonySchmoose Those crazy white people will build municipal swimming pools in their neighborhood.
Detroit tried to plant trees in the hood. Detroit is 80% black and the black community fought ...
ToolGuy comments on Feb 28, 2020:
There are a lot of valid reasons for resisting it.
WonderWartHog99 replies on Feb 29, 2020:
@Beowulfsfriend I read the article. Not too sure you had
NULLIFIDIAN. - Noun...a person having no faith or religious belief: Adjective...having no faith or...
Theresa_N comments on Feb 29, 2020:
Never knew I was a nullifidian. Very interesting.
WonderWartHog99 replies on Feb 29, 2020:
@Marionville Assuming any of us can pronounce it correctly.
Never would have guessed....
FrayedBear comments on Feb 25, 2020:
Very prescient - coffee wasn't common until the 15th century https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/History_of_coffee
WonderWartHog99 replies on Feb 28, 2020:
@FrayedBear You would have recovered faster with a nagging wife with a yen to travel. Petunia keeps saying "Cuba? You don't want to go to Cuba."
Sound plan to me. Moderate politicians taking big corp and bilionaire money will not serve their ...
rogerbenham comments on Feb 27, 2020:
Wonderfully clear but of course the bulk of the electorate must never be told.
WonderWartHog99 replies on Feb 28, 2020:
@rogerbenham Rule of thumb is it doesn't matter which kind of government is in charge, as long as the people aren't starving and they're not tossing everyone's relative in jail the leader will be safe. The hole in my theory is a government with advanced computerized surveillance, i.e. North Korea. I remain baffled there are still people in Russia who want Stalin to rise from the grave and take over. ๐Ÿค”
Trump Turns to Pence to Calm Fears Over Coronavirus President Trump addressed the nation from ...
WonderWartHog99 comments on Feb 28, 2020:
> immediately called for a complete ban of all Mexican beer imports, ## It is a remarkably stupid response. Are you sure about that?
WonderWartHog99 replies on Feb 28, 2020:
@johnnyrobish I assumed as much but knowing this administration . . . . Next time in my favorite Mexican restaurant, I'll order a Dos Equis dark with confidence.
Easy guide to know if she's in the mood...
WonderWartHog99 comments on Feb 28, 2020:
## I wonder about the sign for an urge for lurid licking on the tasty bits.
WonderWartHog99 replies on Feb 28, 2020:
@Merseyman1 That's the same as "now or never."
Good Evening Everyone! Feeling close to normal after food shopping and playing Trivia. I had cabin ...
Petter comments on Feb 28, 2020:
Nighty night, or in my case, good morning!
WonderWartHog99 replies on Feb 28, 2020:
@Petter I have a world clock application on my cell phone and on my computer, thanks. If I know which major city shares your time zone I can easily look it up. I avoid arithmetic before calling Manila.
Detroit tried to plant trees in the hood. Detroit is 80% black and the black community fought ...
TheGreatShadow comments on Feb 28, 2020:
Doesn't have much to do with this post, but you ever been to East St Louis? Driven through there many times. Once I went there for a concert. That place is something like 90-95% black! Talk about feeling out of place! If I have to drive through there, I stop for nothing! No this post is not bashing ...
WonderWartHog99 replies on Feb 28, 2020:
@TheGreatShadow >PS fuck Nazis! I'm absurdly giddy in subcontracting my share to you.
MOLLIFY. - Verb...1) appease the anger or anxiety of (someone). Synonyms; placate, pacify, ...
WonderWartHog99 comments on Feb 28, 2020:
## I frequently feel attempts to mollify Petunia when she comes home from work are futile. After dealing with fustrating and senile clients she needs **someone** to scream at that won't bitch slap her. An inhumane response to her tizzy fits is powerful. She's a stress carrier.
WonderWartHog99 replies on Feb 28, 2020:
@Marionville She knows not to pester me after a few drinks.
So...... Sold the post ugly-overdue-divorce marital home. And like those Catholics say, "Jesus, ...
SukiSue comments on Feb 28, 2020:
Which begs the question.... How did the men live without a spatula?
WonderWartHog99 replies on Feb 28, 2020:
When I go camping I put meat and vegetables on wooden skewers. Afterwards, I throw the skewers into the fire. Wooden skewers cost all of two to three cents each. Hell, let's set fire to a dime's worth of skewers! We're not washing dirty skewers and taking them home. If you're ultra cheap, you can pull down the nearest green branch and crave it into a long wooden skewer.
MOLLIFY. - Verb...1) appease the anger or anxiety of (someone). Synonyms; placate, pacify, ...
WonderWartHog99 comments on Feb 28, 2020:
## I frequently feel attempts to mollify Petunia when she comes home from work are futile. After dealing with fustrating and senile clients she needs **someone** to scream at that won't bitch slap her. An inhumane response to her tizzy fits is powerful. She's a stress carrier.
WonderWartHog99 replies on Feb 28, 2020:
@Marionville Another reason to keep the liquor cabinet refilled.

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Him and his ilk are my summer companions.
Atheist
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