42 year old widower.

racocn8 comments on Aug 26, 2022:

That is one of the main problems on dating sites. Most women reject most men on looks. That is part of why I hate Disney, which inculcated that value in all the princess movies.

TomMcGiverin replies on Aug 28, 2022:

@racocn8 I believe you, Howard, even tho most women have told me the opposite, but that could easily be because few women are willing to think negatively about other members of their gender and would rather defend the sisterhood than admit that women can be as bad or sometimes worse than men in their dating behavior. And there are men who are the same way about reflexively defending their gender.

42 year old widower.

Wangobango3 comments on Aug 26, 2022:

Get a better photo. Create a more optimistic biography.

TomMcGiverin replies on Aug 28, 2022:

If your bio and photos on the real dating sites, not Agnostic, are like what you have on your profile here, I would have to concur with Wangobango on this.. As a fellow widowed man, I would also state in your profile and your first messages that you send out to women, how long you have been widowed, since most women who see in your profile that you are widowed will assume that you are still grieving, not over your late wife, looking for someone to be just like her and replace her, etc. I know that sounds really negative, cynical, etc., but that is how a lot of divorced, never widowed women think on dating sites, so stating that you have been widowed for at least a few years, if that is the honest truth, is helpful in overcoming some of those negative assumptions carried by many women on dating sites regarding widowed men. And the fact is that some divorced women will never give widowed men a chance on dating sites, simply because they are afraid of someone with a different experience than them with marriage and also because they want a man who shares their experience with divorce that they can commiserate with over that, even if he has a worse track record on relationships than the widowed men. Sounds stupid and illogical, but who said that many people would rather keep trying the same thing over and over while expecting a different result...

Looking for love

Sticks48 comments on Aug 26, 2022:

Of course you are. 🙃

TomMcGiverin replies on Aug 28, 2022:

I'm sure "she" has big love enough for all the men on here, lol...

Dear Admin, Could you please advise if there is a plan in place to not renew the domain ...

HippieChick58 comments on Aug 26, 2022:

Check out Atheist Universe, it might be the FB of the internet for Atheists. Some of us have opened profiles over there, just in case. I am not going to leave until the doors are shut for good, but as that is a possibility, be prepared.

TomMcGiverin replies on Aug 28, 2022:

Oh my Paula, (Hippie Chick), whatever will you do if I join your AU Progressive Atheists group and you are not the moderator there and able to ban or boot me? You might have to deal with not having the power to be petty and spiteful, while abusing the authority of a mod....

I am glad to see the Biden admin take an aggressive stance on hypocrisy! The White House ...

Redheadedgammy comments on Aug 26, 2022:

Repubs are soulless bastards who could care less for their constituents! They only serve their fucking donors!

TomMcGiverin replies on Aug 28, 2022:

Unfortunately, most of the Dems in congress are the same way, they are just a bit less obvious about it...

The Democratic Party is a Fifth Column for Right-wing Lunacy - CounterPunch.org

TomMcGiverin comments on Aug 27, 2022:

The Dem Party needs to be blown up and replaced by a Peoples or Workers Party that refuses corporate or PAC money and raises it the way Bernie has shown it can be raised..

TomMcGiverin replies on Aug 27, 2022:

@WilliamCharles I feel exactly like the quote on resistance. We are entering a phase where fascism is very likely in the next few years. Our side may well lose, with the fascists being aided or at least given sympathetic support by the cops, the military and the Dem Party, but I am willing to fight them in the streets, if necessary. Because not doing so and letting fascism finally openly take over here is not a life I would find worth living under.

Now that we are approaching the possible demise of Agnostic.

Theresa_N comments on Aug 18, 2022:

I say all of us of a progressive bent and agnostic or atheist set another place to congregate, hopefully advertisement free. I won't sign up for facebook unless I absolutely have to.

TomMcGiverin replies on Aug 27, 2022:

@Organist1 Same here, I'm not good at leading or starting groups.

Now that we are approaching the possible demise of Agnostic.

Theresa_N comments on Aug 18, 2022:

I say all of us of a progressive bent and agnostic or atheist set another place to congregate, hopefully advertisement free. I won't sign up for facebook unless I absolutely have to.

TomMcGiverin replies on Aug 27, 2022:

@Organist1 I assume you're talking about Jo Slaight, that's who banned me from the FB Agnostics group.

Now that we are approaching the possible demise of Agnostic.

Theresa_N comments on Aug 18, 2022:

I say all of us of a progressive bent and agnostic or atheist set another place to congregate, hopefully advertisement free. I won't sign up for facebook unless I absolutely have to.

TomMcGiverin replies on Aug 27, 2022:

@Organist1 Me too. If another FB group gets started for refugees from here, I hope someone lets me know about it.

Right wing lunatic accidentally makes a sexual reference while spewing hatred [youtu.be]

phoenixone1 comments on Aug 26, 2022:

The right wing is pushing really hard for a civil war...plain and simple. This POS is the best they have to offer...this is the maniac they want at the head of the charge...single cell genius tRUMP wants people like THIS IDIOT to lead the charge...won't be much of a charge.

TomMcGiverin replies on Aug 26, 2022:

If guys like this are the ones who will be fighting civil war against those who support democracy, bring it on, let's get it over with, since his type will never change or be pacified. Let them be killed or go to prison. Let's hope that enough of the cops and military are sane enough to not look the other way or support these idiots. I am still not optimistic about that last prospect, but I am tired of our leaders tip toeing around these fools out of fear for them, lets get it over with, regardless of the outcome. Otherwise, we will never move past Trumpism...

Right wing lunatic accidentally makes a sexual reference while spewing hatred [youtu.be]

TomMcGiverin comments on Aug 26, 2022:

This guy looks, talks, and sounds just like the MAGA yahoos that I have seen around my town. I agree they are nuts and there is no point wasting breath or energy on them. They certainly have the authorities here intimidated and in my town, they are also part of the majority view, unfortunately. Most...

TomMcGiverin replies on Aug 26, 2022:

@zeuser Can't, I'm stuck here. I need my local friends too badly, tho they live in other nearby cities, and I'm not rich enough to afford a similar home where they live.

Right wing lunatic accidentally makes a sexual reference while spewing hatred [youtu.be]

racocn8 comments on Aug 26, 2022:

And what is the humane course when encountering a frothing-at-the-mouth rabid dog?

TomMcGiverin replies on Aug 26, 2022:

Putting them down lethally or in this case, maybe using a taser or a tranquilizer gun?

Cassville, Mo.

ThinkingFree comments on Aug 25, 2022:

Hitting someone who is half your size only creates anger, resentment, or hatred in that child. It teaches them nothing useful at all.

TomMcGiverin replies on Aug 26, 2022:

@Beowulfsfriend I eventually hit back, but I never went on to hitting others, even when I wanted to, as my father did pass on to me his angry temper. I have done my best to temper it as I get older.

I'm not sure how Trump will get out of this one. Honestly, I can't wait to see what happens.

BitFlipper comments on Aug 25, 2022:

He won't get out of it, but his disciples will make a hell of an insurgency.

TomMcGiverin replies on Aug 25, 2022:

I think he will get out of it, and his followers will successfully repeat the insurgency if he loses in two years or is in danger of going to prison. These fools are willing to die for him.

Relationship Worries

skado comments on Aug 21, 2022:

You could lead him on a while and break up later, if you prefer.

TomMcGiverin replies on Aug 25, 2022:

@Betty I don't agree with doing it either, but it's become clear to me with online dating that many people do play that game, use people for a while and then reveal who they really are when they are done and ready to leave. Way more selfish than I would ever be..

NC Lt. Gov.: Kids shouldn't learn science or history in school

glennlab comments on Aug 25, 2022:

"What a maroon," BB.

TomMcGiverin replies on Aug 25, 2022:

That's my favorite Bugs line too!

Cassville, Mo.

ThinkingFree comments on Aug 25, 2022:

Hitting someone who is half your size only creates anger, resentment, or hatred in that child. It teaches them nothing useful at all.

TomMcGiverin replies on Aug 25, 2022:

@RussRAB And as soon as they are old and big enough, they will hit back..

NC Lt. Gov.: Kids shouldn't learn science or history in school

racocn8 comments on Aug 25, 2022:

Hopefully the democrats will put his mental illness and rank hatred on full display.

TomMcGiverin replies on Aug 25, 2022:

Doing that might not even make any difference. Southern states have notoriously stupid voters.

Trump says he stole the classified documents to put them in his Presidential Library.

MyTVC15 comments on Aug 25, 2022:

Ever since he became president I have wondered what would go in a Trump presidential library. With all the really great places I have never been, I do not think you will ever see me there.

TomMcGiverin replies on Aug 25, 2022:

@Betty A wall smeared with ketchup?

Trump says he stole the classified documents to put them in his Presidential Library.

Betty comments on Aug 25, 2022:

Maybe if someone chanted...Lier, lier pant on fire...it would be at his intellect level. 😂

TomMcGiverin replies on Aug 25, 2022:

I wouldn't bet on it working. Regardless of his intellectual level, his emotional level is pretty clearly equal to your average two year old... I think the recent revelation of the ketchup on the wall pretty well proves that...

Ok... maybe the guys can answer this. What's the deal with the dead fish?

Betty comments on Aug 22, 2022:

Whether they are into hunting/fishing, sports cars, active in or fans of sports, or whatever. Is it not information that can be used depending on your own interests? In the end is the choice not yours as to whether you engage or not?

TomMcGiverin replies on Aug 25, 2022:

@Betty I was not offended, and I did get that you were hearing me and sympathizing, and I know the suggestions were not intended to be fixes. We're good, Betty, no worries...

Ok... maybe the guys can answer this. What's the deal with the dead fish?

Betty comments on Aug 22, 2022:

Whether they are into hunting/fishing, sports cars, active in or fans of sports, or whatever. Is it not information that can be used depending on your own interests? In the end is the choice not yours as to whether you engage or not?

TomMcGiverin replies on Aug 25, 2022:

@Betty I'm not interested in ideas for fixing it, as I really doubt anybody has done as much research as I have on how this stuff works, and even if they did, they don't live where I do, so they are unlikely to know my local situation like I do. Again, I just want to be heard, understood, and hear about the experiences of others that may be similar. You have done some of that, but what's funny, Betty, is that you have also tried to do what men, rather than women, are notorious for trying to do when someone is seeking what I am seeking, which is trying to fix someone or their situation, when all they want is to be heard, validated, and supported emotionally by finding out what other people may have experienced along that line... If there were ideas that could actually help me succeed more with online dating, I would have already heard them from my therapist, who used to be on Match until a few years ago, or someone else local that is single that I have encountered thru the singles scene or Match.

Ok... maybe the guys can answer this. What's the deal with the dead fish?

Betty comments on Aug 22, 2022:

Whether they are into hunting/fishing, sports cars, active in or fans of sports, or whatever. Is it not information that can be used depending on your own interests? In the end is the choice not yours as to whether you engage or not?

TomMcGiverin replies on Aug 24, 2022:

@Betty It's ok, I am not asking anybody here to fix my situation, just to be heard, understood and maybe also get some idea if anybody else is in my situation, rather than being or feeling terminally unique, so to speak...

Ok... maybe the guys can answer this. What's the deal with the dead fish?

BudFrank comments on Aug 24, 2022:

I don't fish so I don't know

TomMcGiverin replies on Aug 24, 2022:

Neither do I, but I've worked with lots of guys that do, so I figured I was qualified to offer a guess...

Ok... maybe the guys can answer this. What's the deal with the dead fish?

Betty comments on Aug 22, 2022:

Whether they are into hunting/fishing, sports cars, active in or fans of sports, or whatever. Is it not information that can be used depending on your own interests? In the end is the choice not yours as to whether you engage or not?

TomMcGiverin replies on Aug 24, 2022:

@Betty I appreciate your suggestion about broadening the search and dating LD, but I will not do that, first, because LD dating is so much harder as far as time and emotional toll, and secondly, I have looked into it in the past with Match, and the women in cities farther away that are better dating pools than here, are never interested in trying LD dating, for that same reason, and also because none of them are ever interested in moving to the Des Moines area. So the stalemate continues..... The bottom line is, nobody is ever interested in moving away from where they are if they are tied there by family and/ or friends, esp. if their city or area is already more diverse and enjoyable than where you already live. That is why the women I have talked to about it on Match that live in Chicago or Minneapolis, hundreds of miles away, same as Kansas City, won't date anyone LD, because whenever they've tried it, it hasn't worked out, usually because neither person is willing to move, and in the end, someone needs to. And I won't move because I'm scared to death of the emotional blow of the relationship failing, having my hopes dashed, and then having to move back here and start all over, including rebuilding my friendships here. None of that, or LD dating, would be so daunting or hard if I were still young, but I'm not, nor am I as strong now emotionally, so I can't risk it. It's also much harder at my age to make new friends in a new city...

Ok... maybe the guys can answer this. What's the deal with the dead fish?

Betty comments on Aug 22, 2022:

Whether they are into hunting/fishing, sports cars, active in or fans of sports, or whatever. Is it not information that can be used depending on your own interests? In the end is the choice not yours as to whether you engage or not?

TomMcGiverin replies on Aug 24, 2022:

@Betty That's all I can do, is be as honest as I can, with a bad dating pool, and walk the line of the balancing act needed to give myself a fighting chance. I have little doubt that your dating pool is probably better, for someone like me, than mine is, and that I would probably be more successful with online dating where you live. That is if most of the women there are not as religious, not as hung up on only dating family men with kids, and not as into drinking as the basis of their social life.

Ok... maybe the guys can answer this. What's the deal with the dead fish?

Betty comments on Aug 22, 2022:

Whether they are into hunting/fishing, sports cars, active in or fans of sports, or whatever. Is it not information that can be used depending on your own interests? In the end is the choice not yours as to whether you engage or not?

TomMcGiverin replies on Aug 24, 2022:

@Betty For my money, it's much better and more preferable to know right up front. I suppose that holding back info is probably necessary and better if it involves something complex or complicated, such as an issue that would be hard to explain or state briefly and effectively in a profile essay. For example, my local online dating pool is chock full of very family oriented women and the vast majority of them have kids. I get rejected a ton for being childfree. I do list myself in the traits section of my profile as No kids for my kids situation. Evading the issue and not listing anything for that trait would only make women more suspicious for me being so far out of the mainstream for my dating pool on kids. But stating why I never had kids would be too cumbersome and negative-seeming to put in a profile essay. So I let them wonder about the why of my being childless, even tho some of them will assume that it means I was a player before I got married, that I hate kids, or that I was never a serious person when I was younger, before I met my wife, etc. Issues like that are ones where you can't really win no matter what you do before connecting with the person, at which time you can finally give a full explanation of how you ended up childless. Until that opportunity comes up, you just have to take the hits that will come from women assuming the worst about someone so different from the experience of them and everyone they know. I'm also a non-drinker, a similar issue where I'm very much out of the mainstream for my dating pool. What to do? I lie about my status on that trait so I don't get red-flagged immediately on that and rejected before I can even connect with the woman and explain my reasons for not drinking and that I am very tolerant and open-minded about a partner that drinks moderately. So I list myself as a social drinker on that trait in my profile, saying Sometimes, depends on the day, so that way I don't get pegged and assumed, as a non-drinker, as someone who is either a recovering alcoholic or a judgemental teetotaler, both of which would be considered undateable by almost all women, except ones who are recovering alcoholics, who would date recovering men, or the very few non-drinker women out there in the pool. Finally, I use the cop-out label Spiritual, but not religious, for my profile trait of religious affiliation, simply because most women in my local online dating pool are too ignorant to know what Agnostic means and also because the former label is less harsh or off-putting than Agnostic, and gives me a chance to connect with some women who are fairly tolerant and open-minded about dating a non-religious man if he is ok with their being moderately religious, which I am. But listing myself as Agnostic up front would probably ...

Ok... maybe the guys can answer this. What's the deal with the dead fish?

Sierra4 comments on Aug 24, 2022:

I have been on Match, but no more. I don't hunt and fish so no pictures of that. I never thought anyone wanted to see my car. Just photos of me. BUT there were women in my age group who would post ten pictures. One a selfie of themselves in a mirror and the rest were grandkids, their cat(s) and ...

TomMcGiverin replies on Aug 24, 2022:

Exactly right. Like BitFlipper said below, both men and women tend to use lots of photos showing what they are proud of or what they feel is important to them, regarding themselves, regardless of how appropriate or not the rest of us think those photos are for a dating profile. And it will never change. And another thing, tho I can't comment on what men do with dating profile photos, but I have seen women with up to 26 photos in their profile. Can someone say narcissist, conceited, full of themselves, etc.? I thought you could...Have also seen women with lots of photos of themselves showing off their cleavage, etc., but they did not appear to be scammers. They seemed to be using real photos, but were probably just going for either the ego trip of seeing how much attention they could get from men or else were just on the site to find casual sex....

Ok... maybe the guys can answer this. What's the deal with the dead fish?

Lauren comments on Aug 24, 2022:

I'd say those pictures are pretty effective in that they let you know immediately that you're not interested in them, so it's a time saver for you. But in fairness, not all fishermen do it as a reflection of their sexual prowess, and not all of them are good ol' boys. I know a lot who eat ...

TomMcGiverin replies on Aug 24, 2022:

I do too, partly because I want to know if they have at least some, preferably at least half of my interests, so I know if there's a chance of compatibility. Plus, tho I try to avoid making assumptions and instead try to ask ?s to clarify things about the interests they have which don't match mine, sometimes their choice of interests tell me things about them that are not there in the rest of the profile, such as their financial level and class level, or how family -oriented they are. Because nowadays, lots of people on dating sites play it very close to the vest and give out little info about themselves in their profiles. Which seems to be what most of the dating sites want. I can see the day coming when most dating sites have mostly profiles that are little more than photos, first name, age, relationship status, city, and not much more than that... The profiles will look like a typical FB profile page, nothing more... And yet, even as the dating sites continue to provide a worse product and services, they will continue to charge us more. Anybody but me see something wrong with that? It's called industry consolidation and lack of real competition, as well as corporate greed...

Atheists are nicer to Christians compared to the other way around if their religious identity is ...

Fernapple comments on Aug 23, 2022:

Well we don't have a lecture every Sunday on how important the congregation is, and how superior they are to everyone else, for one.

TomMcGiverin replies on Aug 24, 2022:

@Fernapple I am generally modest, but when it comes to a group that is generally so arrogant and superior-acting to non-believers, esp. around where I live, I am going to choose honesty and say the truth of my superiority to them overall, compared to most of them.

Come and get it y’all! I put the “hot” in psychotic.

TomMcGiverin comments on Aug 23, 2022:

Unfortunately, the last two times I've been to my local senior center for lunch, our two resident MAGA guys haven't been there. Otherwise, I would fix her up with a double date. They would all deserve each other in a threesome..... That is, assuming Trumpers do threesomes with two guys....

TomMcGiverin replies on Aug 23, 2022:

@glennlab Possibly including brothers? Talk about (a) circle (of) jerks....

Atheists are nicer to Christians compared to the other way around if their religious identity is ...

Fernapple comments on Aug 23, 2022:

Well we don't have a lecture every Sunday on how important the congregation is, and how superior they are to everyone else, for one.

TomMcGiverin replies on Aug 23, 2022:

I already know I'm superior to most Christians, as I am smarter, better educated, and less hypocritical..

Atheists are nicer to Christians compared to the other way around if their religious identity is ...

snytiger6 comments on Aug 23, 2022:

I didn't need a study to learn that. Although it is nice to have my opinions confirmed as fact.

TomMcGiverin replies on Aug 23, 2022:

Most honest, thinking, intelligent people don't need a formal study to be able to figure out how things are, but studies are needed for those views to be validated and accepted by society in general, as well as those that don't want to believe or see the truth, or are too dense to see the truth.

I'll start, sliderule.

Betty comments on Aug 22, 2022:

Common courtesy.

TomMcGiverin replies on Aug 23, 2022:

@Julie808 Esp. the millenials. They have no respect for anybody else, esp. people outside their age group. If you confront them about it, they will get very defiant, like the two year olds they are emotionally..

Ok... maybe the guys can answer this. What's the deal with the dead fish?

MsHoliday comments on Aug 22, 2022:

It is probably the one picture they have of themselves that a buddy took. A proud moment for many it seems. I believe in live and let live. So I would pass them by.

TomMcGiverin replies on Aug 23, 2022:

@TheoryNumber3 Well, thanks, I appreciate the compliment, but as far as normal, I dunno. I tried being that once, it didn't work... The couple of younger married gals I hang with at karaoke say that they think I'm actually pretty cool and a hipster, but I just don't look or dress the part. No tats, piercings, or hipster clothes, just very straight looking. But most of what I sing there, like them, is alternative rock. Those women say I need to dress and look the part if I ever want to date a woman with my taste in music and my personality, or they will reject me for looking too straight. Maybe they're right. But I guess I've always been too non-conformist to go along with wearing some kind of cultural uniform and dressing the part to identify with a subculture. My personality should be enough, at least in my eyes...

Come and get it y’all! I put the “hot” in psychotic.

Garban comments on Aug 22, 2022:

Holy crap on a cracker.🥴 It’s my sister in law.

TomMcGiverin replies on Aug 23, 2022:

That's Jesus H. Christ on a cracker to you!

It is time to end the segregation, eliminate all private schools.

p-nullifidian comments on Aug 22, 2022:

Finland also has a progressive, means-based penalty system for traffic violations. A very wealthy person could be fined $20,000 for speeding, whereas a minimum wage earner might be fined the minimum amount of several hundred dollars.

TomMcGiverin replies on Aug 23, 2022:

That's how it is in a lot of Europe. Unless the fines are severe enough be meaningful and actually punitive to the rich, there is no point in them, regarding the rich. Everything needs to be progressive in a society for it to be truly fair or equal..

Ok... maybe the guys can answer this. What's the deal with the dead fish?

MsHoliday comments on Aug 22, 2022:

It is probably the one picture they have of themselves that a buddy took. A proud moment for many it seems. I believe in live and let live. So I would pass them by.

TomMcGiverin replies on Aug 23, 2022:

@MsHoliday Thanks, otherwise, I would not be able to come up with any decent dating profile pics. My friends are my everything, including being my real family, as far as nowadays.

‘Forget about your worries or dying’ As Christianity rapidly declines, these religions are ...

racocn8 comments on Aug 22, 2022:

Too bad. Non-believers should push harder for education, the antidote to religion's poison.

TomMcGiverin replies on Aug 23, 2022:

True, the theocrats are already doing their best to destroy public education, along with the greedy rich, who want to profit off it by privatizing it and making it so that all future schools are either for profit and available only to the rich, religious, or both....

Ok... maybe the guys can answer this. What's the deal with the dead fish?

MsHoliday comments on Aug 22, 2022:

It is probably the one picture they have of themselves that a buddy took. A proud moment for many it seems. I believe in live and let live. So I would pass them by.

TomMcGiverin replies on Aug 22, 2022:

All of my several profile photos were taken by one friend of mine, and then the rest by another friend. I don't own a smartphone and have no interest in taking selfies. So would my profile photos be acceptable proof that I was ok socially, to you, and not deserving of being passed up for reasons of the circumstances my photos were taken under? They are in a bar, outside a home, and inside a home. The home ones were at a friend's house who was the photographer.

Ok... maybe the guys can answer this. What's the deal with the dead fish?

Garban comments on Aug 22, 2022:

Fishing is time spent with nature relaxing, and is not exclusively a male activity, my granddaughter loves fishing. It can be also be a fun group activity. 100 years ago, before everyone got their groceries under cellophane, fishing provided a healthy protein source and some recreation. The idea of ...

TomMcGiverin replies on Aug 22, 2022:

@TheoryNumber3 Back at ya. Glad you have a sense of humor, as do I about my own age.

Ok... maybe the guys can answer this. What's the deal with the dead fish?

Garban comments on Aug 22, 2022:

Fishing is time spent with nature relaxing, and is not exclusively a male activity, my granddaughter loves fishing. It can be also be a fun group activity. 100 years ago, before everyone got their groceries under cellophane, fishing provided a healthy protein source and some recreation. The idea of ...

TomMcGiverin replies on Aug 22, 2022:

@TheoryNumber3 I suppose, but that one was actually before my time and I never watched it. Remember, you're much older than me....

Ok... maybe the guys can answer this. What's the deal with the dead fish?

FvckY0u comments on Aug 22, 2022:

I'll attempt to answer. Maybe it's one of the few pictures they actually have of them smiling. Perhaps catching and holding a dead fish is a simple value they hold that evokes a happy emotional response. Goes much to the previous comment by @AnneWimsey What does it mean beyond that? Well it...

TomMcGiverin replies on Aug 22, 2022:

@FvckY0u, @TheoryNumber3 He wasn't calling you personally emotionally damaged, but I agree with his point, as did you above, that most of the public are emotionally damaged, as well as not as smart as you, I, him, and most of us here, which explains a lot about how sick our society is and how fucked up our politics are, but that's another discussion or two.... I also have no doubt that research studies have been done about emotional damaged people and their prevalence on dating sites, as I can easily see how those could be done by taking the dating site's population, with the permission of the site and its members, and then surveying them, like I discussed elsewhere here, except in this case, they would have access to the whole population there.

Ok... maybe the guys can answer this. What's the deal with the dead fish?

FvckY0u comments on Aug 22, 2022:

I'll attempt to answer. Maybe it's one of the few pictures they actually have of them smiling. Perhaps catching and holding a dead fish is a simple value they hold that evokes a happy emotional response. Goes much to the previous comment by @AnneWimsey What does it mean beyond that? Well it...

TomMcGiverin replies on Aug 22, 2022:

@TheoryNumber3, @FvckY0u I mostly agree with you on this comment of yours. If I had my way, everyone who wanted to join a dating site would have to provide proof of recent therapy, because the vast majority of us, including me, need it! And I agree that I'm Ok, You're Ok, is the way to proceed with relationships, but only after some trust and mutual knowledge has been obtained between people. Until then, esp. in the dating realm, proceed cautiously and beware. That doesn't mean assume only the worst about someone from the git go, like Gwendolyn2018, who blocked me, seemed to obviously default to, but just what I said in the previous sentence, be cautious, proceed carefully, evaluate and verify if possible what is true about them, and give trust over time as it is earned.

Ok... maybe the guys can answer this. What's the deal with the dead fish?

FvckY0u comments on Aug 22, 2022:

I'll attempt to answer. Maybe it's one of the few pictures they actually have of them smiling. Perhaps catching and holding a dead fish is a simple value they hold that evokes a happy emotional response. Goes much to the previous comment by @AnneWimsey What does it mean beyond that? Well it...

TomMcGiverin replies on Aug 22, 2022:

@TheoryNumber3 I see both your point and that of FU. I have been on Match actively for over three years now, and can only speak from my experience and those of women on Match that have shared with me about theirs, after mutual trust was established and they chose to confide in me, usually after it was already clear we weren't a match, so a relationship was off the table and we continued contact as friends, comparing notes on the dating game. So yes, there are at least a lot of damaged people on dating sites. Are they the majority of those on there? I'm not sure either way about that, and I have no way of knowing, and neither does anybody else, unless they were able to connect and engage enough with everyone on the site at a given time that were in there dating pool, as far as age range and distance away. And even these women I connected with are a limited subsection of the dating pool in my area and age range, as I had already self-selected to only reach out to the ones that seemed compatible, a small slice of the hundreds of women in my area and age range for my local dating pool there. And, considering I have a response rate of only about ten to fifteen % of the women I message, I make contact with such a small % of the dating pool on there for my local area and age range, that at best all I could do is look at every profile in that dating pool, speculate from there, and then make a determination on only that about what the whole dating pool that I'm part of, is like. Talk about making conclusions on limited data! I may as well be using astrology or a Ouji board...

Ok... maybe the guys can answer this. What's the deal with the dead fish?

MsHoliday comments on Aug 22, 2022:

Maybe these men want us to think they’d be a good provider?

TomMcGiverin replies on Aug 22, 2022:

Seriously, you have a good point. If the man is a very traditional, conservative type who scoffs at feminism, and longs for the old frontier days or whatever and is seeking an outdoorsy, back to the earth woman who wants to live like a backwoods prepper or pioneer couple, that could well be the message he's trying to send, even if it's mostly at the unconscious level... I have no doubt, seriously, that these people exist and are out there on the dating sites, tho I would expect most of them prefer Farmers Only, or something more specialized like that.... But if he is more modern minded and lives in a more urban than rural area, then most likely he is simply sending a message of this being his favorite activity, rather than even a completely unconscious message of being a good provider for a woman in some primal sort of instinctive programming. As Freud once said, " Sometimes a cigar is just a cigar" and things do not have an underlying, unconscious meaning....

Ok... maybe the guys can answer this. What's the deal with the dead fish?

Garban comments on Aug 22, 2022:

Fishing is time spent with nature relaxing, and is not exclusively a male activity, my granddaughter loves fishing. It can be also be a fun group activity. 100 years ago, before everyone got their groceries under cellophane, fishing provided a healthy protein source and some recreation. The idea of ...

TomMcGiverin replies on Aug 22, 2022:

@Garban Sounds like fodder for a sitcom....

Ok... maybe the guys can answer this. What's the deal with the dead fish?

MsHoliday comments on Aug 22, 2022:

It is probably the one picture they have of themselves that a buddy took. A proud moment for many it seems. I believe in live and let live. So I would pass them by.

TomMcGiverin replies on Aug 22, 2022:

@JGal I totally agree. I would say the majority of women's profiles don't put much thought into their profile essays, as in fact, about half the profiles in my dating pool that I see don't even have an essay anymore. So it doesn't surprise me that on the men's side, they simply put a couple photos on there without much thought, because the conventional wisdom among many guys, if not most, with online dating, esp. the less educated or intelligent ones, is that women only care about looks and money, so all they need is a photo or two that shows off their face and body, and all is set. Besides also appearing to have enough money based on how their home, clothes, and toys look, like their car, truck or boat. Which is why many men include photos of those as well to impress women. I will say that most women's profiles I see do seem to have put some thought into their photos, with the exception of being clueless about putting photos of their kids on the internet and the risks of that.

Ok... maybe the guys can answer this. What's the deal with the dead fish?

Betty comments on Aug 22, 2022:

Whether they are into hunting/fishing, sports cars, active in or fans of sports, or whatever. Is it not information that can be used depending on your own interests? In the end is the choice not yours as to whether you engage or not?

TomMcGiverin replies on Aug 22, 2022:

@TheoryNumber3 But, as I said elsewhere in this thread, not all or even most women are like you, at least not in my local dating pool on Match. The vast majority of women in mine, like to fish, grew up in rural areas, want a rugged outdoorsman type of guy so, even in your area that covers your local online dating pool, there could be way more women than you think that want a guy like that, instead of someone like me, and that there could be not as many women like you as you think in that dating pool. You'll never know, and neither do I, to some degree in my case, because you don't have much data or awareness of your competition for that dating pool.

Ok... maybe the guys can answer this. What's the deal with the dead fish?

anglophone comments on Aug 22, 2022:

P.S. At the risk of appearing (and being) perverse, I would like to turn your question on its head. What sort of picture, if any, might make you want to have a quick glance at a man's profile?

TomMcGiverin replies on Aug 22, 2022:

@TheoryNumber3 It goes both ways, as Sticks48 says, I can't count the number of women's profiles where I see only photos showing no teeth or smiles and the woman is always frowning or scowling close-mouthed. I showed my female karaoke friends some women's profiles once on my laptop at the karaoke show, and they called that look "Resting Bitch Face" and advised me to steer clear of any women with that look in all their photos... I also take a hard pass on women whose photos are all of them holding a drink or whose photos show a very hard, lined-looking face, as those women are probably either very heavy drinkers, alcoholics, or long-time drug abusers. I'm also turned off by photos of women with very wrinkled or over-baked skin from too many years in the sun without sunblock or over-tanning... Of course, it could always be that either sex is not smiling in photos because of bad or missing teeth, but that is also a dealbreaker for me most of the time.

Ok... maybe the guys can answer this. What's the deal with the dead fish?

racocn8 comments on Aug 22, 2022:

Know thyself. Why did the pictures of dead fish catch your attention? If they offend your sensibilities, what are those sensibilities? I agree with the comments below that: 1) It's a picture that they have of themselves smiling. It's good that they don't have a lot of pictures (low hubris, but ...

TomMcGiverin replies on Aug 22, 2022:

@TheoryNumber3 I know, I get the same daily set of Recommended Picks that are laughable, and clearly their "matching" system is either full of holes or just a hollow joke, because those picks commonly include women who are conservatives, very family-oriented who would never date a man without kids, smokers, country music lovers, very religious women, and regular drinkers who also clearly would be unlikely to date a man who doesn't drink, like me. I won't even go into all the women in the matched picks that are on the lower or bottom end of the scale when it comes to looks. So yeah, the dating sites send us profiles all the time of duds that we would never look once at, much less twice, if we were browsing profiles on our own, and would instead never even click on in the first place.

Ok... maybe the guys can answer this. What's the deal with the dead fish?

Betty comments on Aug 22, 2022:

Whether they are into hunting/fishing, sports cars, active in or fans of sports, or whatever. Is it not information that can be used depending on your own interests? In the end is the choice not yours as to whether you engage or not?

TomMcGiverin replies on Aug 22, 2022:

I agree wholeheartedly, Betty. Online dating is a delicate balance between sharing too much info too early in a profile or messaging, while at the same time giving others a fair and accurate view of who you are and what interests you. Personally, I prefer as much info as possible in someone's profile, esp. since I'm a man and the way the game works where I live, the men are almost always obligated to make the first move and send the first message. So I appreciate women having lots of useful, meaningful info in their profiles so I don't waste my time, effort, and hopes on the incompatible. And I would think that most women feel the same way, since in my dating pool any woman who is average or better than that in looks, gets bombarded by messages from lots of different men right after they join, so they appreciate as much info as possible in the men's profiles so they can efficiently and effectively sort out the incompatibles. And even then, I have no doubt it's still very time consuming to sort thru a few or even several dozen men that message them soon after the woman joins a dating site. Add to that the time spent messaging and then meeting several or more men in person before locking down and choosing their final one or three to see again and try out dating with, and we're talking a pretty big investment of time and effort, so I'm not surprised that many women just get overwhelmed with it early on, esp. if they get fooled or disappointed by some of the men in the sorting process or the early dating process with men they meet, so they just give up and drop out of the dating game. And rather than being quick to judge someone harshly or negatively for giving a bit too much info too early, I am more inclined to give them a break and the benefit of the doubt, since to me, info in the dating process is actually sort of a gift in most cases and is mainly empowering and helpful for us in making better choices of who to date, so I am usually grateful for those who are more candid early on, rather than judging them negatively and penalizing them. They are usually just trying to be helpful and respectful of both yours and their feelings and time.

Ok... maybe the guys can answer this. What's the deal with the dead fish?

Garban comments on Aug 22, 2022:

Fishing is time spent with nature relaxing, and is not exclusively a male activity, my granddaughter loves fishing. It can be also be a fun group activity. 100 years ago, before everyone got their groceries under cellophane, fishing provided a healthy protein source and some recreation. The idea of ...

TomMcGiverin replies on Aug 22, 2022:

@Betty You make a good point, and for me karaoke is like that. I'm a very good singer and love singing, so a photo of me singing is probably me at my happiest, at least for with my clothes on and not with a partner, lol!

Republican Candidates Panicking as Millions Missing from GOP Senate Campaign Coffers Republican ...

glennlab comments on Aug 22, 2022:

He's a true republican, if they won't give it to you steal it from them.

TomMcGiverin replies on Aug 22, 2022:

Yup, in that way, if not others, they are no different than drug kingpins. It's all about the Benjamins, no matter how you get it...

Ok... maybe the guys can answer this. What's the deal with the dead fish?

racocn8 comments on Aug 22, 2022:

Know thyself. Why did the pictures of dead fish catch your attention? If they offend your sensibilities, what are those sensibilities? I agree with the comments below that: 1) It's a picture that they have of themselves smiling. It's good that they don't have a lot of pictures (low hubris, but ...

TomMcGiverin replies on Aug 22, 2022:

@racocn8 True, I would agree with that, I just think rural and lower income folk are more likely to fish more often than urban folk, esp. urban folk who are higher economic classes, as they can afford to take more expensive vacations to places further away, stay at more expensive hotels, rather than vacationing by car and camping, etc.. I haven't fished since I was in my teens, and even then, I only went because my fellow boy pals wanted to go, so I went along with them. Fishing and hunting locally is a hell of a lot cheaper than vacationing in Europe, going to the Bahamas for beaches, or a ski trip to Aspen, so hunting and fishing is generally more of a recreation for the lower income classes, and definitely more popular among them than the upper classes.

Ok... maybe the guys can answer this. What's the deal with the dead fish?

racocn8 comments on Aug 22, 2022:

Know thyself. Why did the pictures of dead fish catch your attention? If they offend your sensibilities, what are those sensibilities? I agree with the comments below that: 1) It's a picture that they have of themselves smiling. It's good that they don't have a lot of pictures (low hubris, but ...

TomMcGiverin replies on Aug 22, 2022:

My guess is that men with pics of hunting and fishing are probably not the majority of profiles for the Chicago area, unless the OP is using a pretty wide net for her dating pool that includes some rural areas outside the suburbs of Chicago... Feel free to correct me if I'm mistaken here, OP.

Ok... maybe the guys can answer this. What's the deal with the dead fish?

FvckY0u comments on Aug 22, 2022:

I'll attempt to answer. Maybe it's one of the few pictures they actually have of them smiling. Perhaps catching and holding a dead fish is a simple value they hold that evokes a happy emotional response. Goes much to the previous comment by @AnneWimsey What does it mean beyond that? Well it...

TomMcGiverin replies on Aug 22, 2022:

I'll just have to wonder what AnneWimsey said, as there has been a block between her and me for years... Personally, I have no interest in fishing or hunting, so a woman who is into either would have to go without me, and I would be totally fine with that, no resentment or jealousy. Same if she doesn't share some of my interests...

Been on this site for several years.

BitFlipper comments on Aug 10, 2022:

The members of this site are two widely dispersed to actually meet each other. I'm here for the conversation, and some of that conversation is about dating.

TomMcGiverin replies on Aug 22, 2022:

@AlbertSchepis Thanks Al... Standing by your partner in sickness and terminal illness is the sign of a real man, instead of this asshole..

Ok... maybe the guys can answer this. What's the deal with the dead fish?

BitFlipper comments on Aug 22, 2022:

People of both sexes like to include photos of the things they have accomplished. Women inexplicably include pictures of their offspring.

TomMcGiverin replies on Aug 22, 2022:

@BitFlipper Yup, lots of denial and hypocrisy there. Still, I'm glad you pointed it out to them, even if it has no effect..

Ok... maybe the guys can answer this. What's the deal with the dead fish?

BitFlipper comments on Aug 22, 2022:

People of both sexes like to include photos of the things they have accomplished. Women inexplicably include pictures of their offspring.

TomMcGiverin replies on Aug 22, 2022:

Esp. in my local dating pool, where women are not nearly as independent as those from the coasts. They show their kid pics all the time, like trophies, same as the guys showing their fish, their vehicles, their boats, etc. Same as the women, look what I made, caught, bought, achieved, etc. The women in my dating pool that include all the kid pics are ones I stay completely away from, because to me they clearly have no identity or balance or independence in their life, other than their role as a mother and grandmother, so I don't want them for dating. Since more likely than not, they are more interested in just an escort for their visits to family than any relationship with a new partner that involves much time alone as a couple. Personally, I am put off by all that stuff, as I judge or value people based on the quality of their relationships and their character, not how much stuff they have or what they have achieved, at least when it comes to friends and a potential partner. I know I am very different and out of the mainstream in that way, even in my own family, as my now dead parents and my siblings are like most Americans, valuing material things and achievements way more than relationships.

Saying your anti mandate, is like the same as, saying your anti vaxxers.

Garban comments on Aug 20, 2022:

Did someone hold you down to give you your “mandated” shot or was it like Wild Kingdom with Marlin Perkins chasing you in a helicopter with a tranquilizer gun?

TomMcGiverin replies on Aug 21, 2022:

@puff I got vaxed completely voluntarily, because I have a heart condition and am in my 60s. And I got Covid before vaccines were available. So I got the Regeneron immuno therapy treatment and am damn glad I got it, on the advice of my doctor. I later got my first vaccine shots as soon as I was eligible for them. I got Covid again this summer, but I am still glad I got both the Regeneron and the vaccine, because otherwise, with my heart, I was very afraid of ending up dead or in the hospital. I have suffered no heart damage so far from my first Covid episode and will get another scan of my heart soon, after having one after the first episode. I know the vaccine will not prevent me from getting Covid, but I am very glad that it kept me from getting seriously ill this second time, same as how the Regeneron kept me from getting more than mild symptoms and took away my fever immediately, besides shortening my illness. I believe in science, not anti-vax conspiracy theories.

Been on this site for several years.

BitFlipper comments on Aug 10, 2022:

The members of this site are two widely dispersed to actually meet each other. I'm here for the conversation, and some of that conversation is about dating.

TomMcGiverin replies on Aug 20, 2022:

@creative51 So I guess my late wife, who I was with for 22 years, wasn't interested in me and that I'm still an asshole when I stood by her and looked after her the last six years of her life with dementia? What the fuck do you know about me? Why should I think you're the kind of man who would stand by her after she got dementia? I really doubt it, considering how little heart you seem to show here.

Been on this site for several years.

AlbertSchepis comments on Aug 19, 2022:

I wrote a long response to your diatribe but am over-writing it with this. You goaded me into defending myself but I don't need to answer to your baiting except to say that while I admit I've made a comment or two that this site has disappointed me in a few ways and you may be referring to me as ...

TomMcGiverin replies on Aug 20, 2022:

@creative51 Listen asshole, you don't know anything about me, have never met me and can't prove anything you have bashed me for. By the same token, I have never met you and have no proof whatsoever about any of your claims to be so successful and superior to me with women and relationships in general with them. For all any of the rest of us here know, you are lying thru your teeth and blowing smoke up our asses, all for your childish amusement. Your behavior here shows you to be an immature asshole, and none of the women here are impressed with you, except MsHoliday, who appears to be as fucked up as you. Albert has you pegged completely. I've seen phony guys like you my whole adult life, kissing up to women and playing the sensitive, superior nice guy, and it's all an act, that most women, sad to say, buy completely, until they try to date you. Then they see who you really are, a fake, manipulative selfish actor feeding his own ego..

Texas will force schools to display donated 'In God We Trust' posters

LucyLoohoo comments on Aug 20, 2022:

I've lived long enough to find little surprises me....but.....the brazen arrogance of these damnable XTIANS is overwhelming. Wonder what our ''unbiased'' SCOTUS will say?

TomMcGiverin replies on Aug 20, 2022:

I think we already know, see my comment above..

Texas will force schools to display donated 'In God We Trust' posters

phoenixone1 comments on Aug 20, 2022:

Seeing as how TAXPAYER FUNDING paid for the school building...that would mean that donated or not...TAXPAYER FUNDING IS ENDORSING RELIGION...same thing as Judge Moore trying to put the 10 Commandments IN THE COURTHOUSE here in Alablamama...UNCONSTITUTIONAL...this BULLSHIT NEEDS TO BE STOPPED. FFRF ...

TomMcGiverin replies on Aug 20, 2022:

It's only unconstitutional if the current SC says it is, and they don't...

George Carlin - Saving the Planet - YouTube

Betty comments on Aug 20, 2022:

Wisdom in comedy. :)

TomMcGiverin replies on Aug 20, 2022:

In his later years, he became more than a comedian, more like a social commentator and a prophet.

The Texas Christian Taliban are at it again.

DenoPenno comments on Aug 19, 2022:

In which god do you trust? People in your schools are from all over and their gods should get mention or display as well. If you do not think so, then let's go to court about this.

TomMcGiverin replies on Aug 20, 2022:

Unfortunately, if it goes to the SC, they will lose, at least for now.

What if President Obama had tried to issue a blanket declassification order?

racocn8 comments on Aug 19, 2022:

For MAGAs, defending Trump and normalizing the double-standard provides yet another way to 'own the libs.' Shoving dishonesty in the left's face is more juvenile defiance and aims to copy Trumps malignant narcissism. When they talk about IRS going door-to-door with AR-15's, that is dog-whistle ...

TomMcGiverin replies on Aug 19, 2022:

You spelled it out, they are privately asking how soon the can start openly hunting the Dems and libs, since they already know the cops and military would stand aside at best, and more likely assist them, same as the Klan back in the South during the old days..., which is the kind of state they want to have here, nationwide....

Alex Jones Dumping Trump for Ron DeSantis in 2024 Presidential Race InfoWars host and conspiracy ...

glennlab comments on Aug 19, 2022:

I hope they all go down in the same boat

TomMcGiverin replies on Aug 19, 2022:

Me too, but I'm a born pessimist, so I won't be holding my breath on it....

The Texas Christian Taliban are at it again.

Redheadedgammy comments on Aug 19, 2022:

Fucking bullshit! Now every other religion should demand displays of their gods or motto’s. I’m so sick of these religious nationalist assholes pushing their bullshit on everyone else. If we have one we should have them all so these flaming assholes won’t think they are so special! 😡

TomMcGiverin replies on Aug 19, 2022:

@Redheadedgammy That's the whole point, isn't it? They only want religion in the public sphere if it's THEIR religion, not some other one.... and they have zero tolerance for other religions or lack of....

The Texas Christian Taliban are at it again.

Redheadedgammy comments on Aug 19, 2022:

Fucking bullshit! Now every other religion should demand displays of their gods or motto’s. I’m so sick of these religious nationalist assholes pushing their bullshit on everyone else. If we have one we should have them all so these flaming assholes won’t think they are so special! 😡

TomMcGiverin replies on Aug 19, 2022:

We need those statues of Satan and Buddah in those schools! I just hope some of the kids have the balls to vandalize those posters, but I'm sure those schools have more cameras than you can shake a stick at and they will expel anyone who tried it, as well as prosecute them,.....

Been on this site for several years.

TomMcGiverin comments on Aug 10, 2022:

I will comment anyway, and if you don't like it, you can shove it. I assume you are talking about me, as well as other men, and you are one arrogant ass to judge me without knowing me at all, as you say. My late wife obviously didn't think I was an asshole and neither do my longtime friends. They ...

TomMcGiverin replies on Aug 19, 2022:

@AlbertSchepis Thanks again, and yes, he doesn't know me at all. If I were the asshole he claims that I am, I would not have had my 22 year relationship with my late wife, the last six years of which were spent looking after her and watching in horror as she lost who she was and then died of dementia. It was my only LTR, leaving me one for one on successful LTRs, and I will put my relationship track record up against anybody else's on here. So who is he to bash me as an asshole who deserves to be alone the rest of my life due to supposedly only my fault? I doubt he would have stayed by my wife and supported her thru her dementia, besides always being faithful to her our whole relationship, if he had been in my shoes...

Been on this site for several years.

BitFlipper comments on Aug 10, 2022:

The members of this site are two widely dispersed to actually meet each other. I'm here for the conversation, and some of that conversation is about dating.

TomMcGiverin replies on Aug 19, 2022:

@AlbertSchepis Did you also notice how he got MsHoliday to join in the piling on and bashing me? You nailed it on his tactics and goals, and she is a bitch to have piled on with him against me. I haven't blocked her yet, but only because she hasn't replied to my justified confrontation of her. She is a perfect example of the sisterhood on here that love to male-bash and blame all men for the bad behavior of other women in the dating game. I wish most women on here would have the honesty and guts to stand up to her and her kind, supporting me, instead of staying silent on the sidelines or joining with guys like creative51 in the bashing of men like me who share honestly about the dating game. It really is a gender double standard here on Agnostic, because nobody has ever seen me reflexively defending my whole gender when a woman would post about guys being assholes in the dating game. No, if anything, I would almost always agree and sympathize with them, believing them and accepting them as honest and credible. So why can't most women do the same on here? My guess is that they instead prefer a very selective, self-serving view of feminism in which past injustices by some men deserve to be avenged by present harsh treatment and unsympathetic/unsupportive treatment of all men to get even for it. And that kind of revenging against a whole gender, including strangers who have never done anything personally to them, or, for all they know, never personally done wrong to any woman, is not fair or right, and just plain stinks. Or I could be reading too much into why so many women on here seem to have this negative attitude towards most men, and rather than some twisted form of feminism, it may be simple misandry, as racocn8 has suggested in the past.

If Biden runs again in 2024, will he keep Kamala Harris as his running mate?

WilliamCharles comments on Aug 19, 2022:

Biden's only purpose was to kneecap Bernie after the young lions all crashed and burned. Establishment Dems proved they would rather lose with a corporate Dem than win with a progressive. They could have locked up the engaged youth vote for years to come. Instead they shat the bed with Biden. I ...

TomMcGiverin replies on Aug 19, 2022:

@MyTVC15 No, if we lose our democracy it will be because the Dem Party betrayed, sold out, and abandoned the working and middle class long ago in favor of their corporate donors, which set the stage for Trump's election to the White House, and then his followers staging an insurrection that he got away with, because the Dems wouldn't play hardball to nail him for it. They are the ones to blame, not progressives who supported Bernie, as I know that if Bernie had been nominated, he would have won in 2016, and the working class would have returned to supporting the Dem Party, and Trump would have faded into history. There has been tons of evidence that if Bernie had been nominated either time, that many working class voters would have voted for him, instead of Trump, if they had been offered the choice, but since they didn't have it, they went with Trump since he at least was willing to lie to them and appeal to their working class grievances regarding the economy, while neither Hillary nor Biden did appeal to their grievances or have any credibility with them. The Dem Party leaders, the corporate Dems in congress, and the Dem Party loyalists will be to blame for losing our democracy, not the progressives, as the former groups are who made it possible for Trump to win the working class white voters away from the Dem Party, who they used to support before Trump and esp. before the 90s...

If Biden runs again in 2024, will he keep Kamala Harris as his running mate?

WilliamCharles comments on Aug 19, 2022:

Testing my 10 image limit.

TomMcGiverin replies on Aug 19, 2022:

@WilliamCharles I agree with all of them, they say it beautifully how we are lied to and filled with bullshit about the Dems and how America has been brainwashed regarding progressive pols.

The 'blasphemy' of Beth Moore crushing on Jesus because of grapes

Beowulfsfriend comments on Aug 19, 2022:

All I have to say, for what ever reason....... "She's a witch! Burn her! She turned me into a newt."

TomMcGiverin replies on Aug 19, 2022:

"Then why don't you look like a newt?" " I got better.."...

I’m scratching my head on this one.

BitFlipper comments on Aug 18, 2022:

Finally an answer. We're just not good enough.

TomMcGiverin replies on Aug 19, 2022:

@Apunzelle Like Sticks always said, regarding men and women, it goes both ways... But in this case, it does prove that the odds and stats, overall, really favor single women over single men these days, esp, in the upper ages like mine, until you get to the 70s or older, where there begins to be more of an even ratio of single women to men in the dating game. And overall, men will always outnumber women in the population of singles wanting to date and partner, because in general men are much more dependent on dating relationships to be happy, and more interested in dating than women, esp. when they reach 50 yo.

I’m scratching my head on this one.

BitFlipper comments on Aug 18, 2022:

Finally an answer. We're just not good enough.

TomMcGiverin replies on Aug 19, 2022:

That is the bitter truth these days. So many single women in my and your age group, esp., have given up on dating and relationships, dropping out of the dating game, for various reasons. That leaves those women left, esp. in the 50- 70 age group, having the pick of the litter. So if those women are at least average looking, 6s and 7s, they can be very picky and get away with it, still having plenty of men to choose from, while men in those age groups who are 5s and even 6s in looks, have way too much competition, so their options are either settling for dating 4s and 5s, or just sitting on the sidelines being passed up, not because they have poor relationship skills, etc., but because they simply don't stack up against the competition, by being rich or good-looking enough. The bottom line ends up being that most of the actual online dating ends up being between women who are 6s and 7s dating the men who are 8s and 9s in looks, getting used for sex and not being able to land any of those men, who are not interested in long term relationships anyway, and then, after being dumped by the men and spoiled by the sex with great-looking men, they return to the single life unwilling to ever settle for an average-looking man again for dating. And so the average looking men sit alone waiting for matches that never come. I can only imagine who bad it is for the below average-looking men and women, as their only hope is for the opposite sex singles to lower their standards enough to date someone a couple points below them, which almost never happens...

If Biden runs again in 2024, will he keep Kamala Harris as his running mate?

BDair comments on Aug 19, 2022:

There is little chance that Biden will survive his current term without serious cognitive issues. There is almost no chance the DNC will run him in 2024.

TomMcGiverin replies on Aug 19, 2022:

@MyTVC15 I'm not a Dem, I'm a proud socialist who has gotten sick of having no representation in DC and being told for decades to hold my nose, be patient, and wait for the right time, which never seems to arrive, for the Dems to change and do the right thing for the masses, while being vote shamed into voting Blue No Matter Who. Fuck the Dem Party, it needs to be blown up. I am not a Repub sympathizer, as I hate both major parties equally. The Dem Party needs to die and be replaced, as it will never change the way it needs to. I see the big picture, way more than the Dem apologists and party loyalists, who can't see or don't care, how their party has moved to the right of even Nixon. And the Dems have been hurting the country for decades, starting with the Clintons, not us progressives. None of this is conspiracy theories, these are simply facts, that you don't want to hear...

If Biden runs again in 2024, will he keep Kamala Harris as his running mate?

WilliamCharles comments on Aug 19, 2022:

Biden's only purpose was to kneecap Bernie after the young lions all crashed and burned. Establishment Dems proved they would rather lose with a corporate Dem than win with a progressive. They could have locked up the engaged youth vote for years to come. Instead they shat the bed with Biden. I ...

TomMcGiverin replies on Aug 19, 2022:

@WilliamCharles, @MyTVC15 Bernie was way ahead of Biden before the SC primary and he was polling better against Trump too, compared to Biden. But then Obama got on the phone to all the other Dem candidates, got them all to drop out and throw their support to Biden, except for Warren, who stayed in until after SC's primary to make sure she kneecapped Bernie there, and also Covid hit and that shut down all campaigning for the rest of the primaries. If Warren had not sold out and done the right thing as a true progressive, instead of a fake one, she would have dropped out then too, and threw her supporters to Bernie, but she didn't, so Biden then became the front runner over Bernie, but only because of the collusion of Warren, Obama, and the DNC all working together to screw Bernie over again. Biden's candidacy was dead after the Iowa primary, but then all the above parties conspired by the time of the SC primary to rig it so he got the nomination over Bernie. Jim Clyburn was also instrumental in smearing Bernie, along with the corporate media, to imply Bernie was racist and to persuade black voters to support Biden over Bernie in the last set of primaries before Biden became the front runner. If Warren had dropped out earlier and Bernie picked up just her supporters, he would have creamed Biden in the primary race.

If Biden runs again in 2024, will he keep Kamala Harris as his running mate?

WilliamCharles comments on Aug 19, 2022:

Biden's only purpose was to kneecap Bernie after the young lions all crashed and burned. Establishment Dems proved they would rather lose with a corporate Dem than win with a progressive. They could have locked up the engaged youth vote for years to come. Instead they shat the bed with Biden. I ...

TomMcGiverin replies on Aug 19, 2022:

@WilliamCharles That really is all they have these days, campaigning on the slogan of "We're not the Repubs", rather than on substantive policy differences on economic, foreign policy, or health care, environmental, military, or tax policy.

If Biden runs again in 2024, will he keep Kamala Harris as his running mate?

BDair comments on Aug 19, 2022:

There is little chance that Biden will survive his current term without serious cognitive issues. There is almost no chance the DNC will run him in 2024.

TomMcGiverin replies on Aug 19, 2022:

@MyTVC15 People from the left have been talking about Biden's dementia long before the right wing pundits did. Are you going to accuse them of being pawns or dupes of the right wing?

If Biden runs again in 2024, will he keep Kamala Harris as his running mate?

DenoPenno comments on Aug 19, 2022:

Since the VP choice is up to the Biden Team I'm not going to waste time or energy trying to convince anyone that the choice should be anyone else. What's the point? As time goes on I find more and more that people want to believe that if the election winner was not their choice then an instant ...

TomMcGiverin replies on Aug 19, 2022:

@DenoPenno The problem is that both parties, deep down underneath all the culture wars and identity politics, serve the same donor class, but on the surface too many people see the major parties as being way different, when they really aren't on the deeper level. I will not go into what's wrong with Harris as far as her background when she was AG of California, that would be a whole discussion in itself. I fully agree with your last few sentences.

If Biden runs again in 2024, will he keep Kamala Harris as his running mate?

WilliamCharles comments on Aug 19, 2022:

Biden's only purpose was to kneecap Bernie after the young lions all crashed and burned. Establishment Dems proved they would rather lose with a corporate Dem than win with a progressive. They could have locked up the engaged youth vote for years to come. Instead they shat the bed with Biden. I ...

TomMcGiverin replies on Aug 19, 2022:

@WilliamCharles So true. Both times Bernie ran, he polled better against Trump than any of the Dems running then. In fact, those polls always showed him beating Trump in a two man race. I have no doubt he would have beat Trump both times, so your point is proven, as far as I'm concerned. The liberals I know who keep saying Bernie would have lost the general election seem to keep ignoring this fact.

If Biden runs again in 2024, will he keep Kamala Harris as his running mate?

WilliamCharles comments on Aug 19, 2022:

Biden's only purpose was to kneecap Bernie after the young lions all crashed and burned. Establishment Dems proved they would rather lose with a corporate Dem than win with a progressive. They could have locked up the engaged youth vote for years to come. Instead they shat the bed with Biden. I ...

TomMcGiverin replies on Aug 19, 2022:

@WilliamCharles They could have, but they didn't...

Online dating app story.

MsHoliday comments on Aug 15, 2022:

So, did you out him?

TomMcGiverin replies on Aug 19, 2022:

@MsHoliday I don't agree. Bad behavior is bad behavior, regardless of marital status. Yes, she does have the right to change her mind about who to date, but she didn't have to lie to him with a lame excuse. She was being a douche, just like him. I see you are just another member of the sisterhood that excuses all bad behavior by women in the dating game. Reply to me and I will block you. I've had enough of your double standard, hypocritical bullshit and male bashing on this site. You also posted a laugh emoji and an attaboy to someone on a thread here recently for them trolling me and bashing me, so I already know you are one of my haters on here.

If Biden runs again in 2024, will he keep Kamala Harris as his running mate?

DenoPenno comments on Aug 19, 2022:

Since the VP choice is up to the Biden Team I'm not going to waste time or energy trying to convince anyone that the choice should be anyone else. What's the point? As time goes on I find more and more that people want to believe that if the election winner was not their choice then an instant ...

TomMcGiverin replies on Aug 19, 2022:

@DenoPenno It's supposed to be, but there are always loopholes to end up spending it on other things and personal use. Besides, the campaign finance laws have been mostly gutted by the Citizens United SC decision and even before, they have not been enforced that much anyway, certainly not much after that decision.. The bigger point is, that even if the Dems lose the presidential election in two years, which they will, and also lose control of both houses in congress by then, as I also think they will, all those Dems in congress will still mostly have their congressional seats and perks, even as the minority party. And their kids will still go to Ivy League schools, and the Dem pols and their kids will still have access to all those cushy jobs in government, the corporate world, think tanks, and careers as lobbyists after they leave office. So who cares if they are out of power in DC? They certainly don't, because they will still be on the gravy train, with their kids, for years to come, as the people they have served, their donors, will take good care of them and their kids after they leave office and reward them for all their favors while in congress. All those later rewards for them and their kids, are contingent on them serving the agenda of their campaign donors and preventing any kind of progressive legislation or policy by the party. That is the real purpose these days of the Dem Party in DC, to prevent progressive legislation and policy while serving as the fake opposition party to the Repubs.. All the culture wars shit and identity politics is just a distraction from their real purpose and agenda. That is true with both major parties.

If Biden runs again in 2024, will he keep Kamala Harris as his running mate?

BDair comments on Aug 19, 2022:

There is little chance that Biden will survive his current term without serious cognitive issues. There is almost no chance the DNC will run him in 2024.

TomMcGiverin replies on Aug 19, 2022:

@WilliamCharles His decline is pretty fucking obvious from the way he does fewer actual press conferences than Trump, as far as actually taking and answering ?s. He can read off a teleprompter, but he can't think and answer ?s he is not expecting, so that's why they protect him from it. Frankly, I'm amazed he's made it this far into his term, as the dementia was apparent to me during the primaries, but it's likely they didn't put him on the heavy duty dementia meds until after he won the election.

If Biden runs again in 2024, will he keep Kamala Harris as his running mate?

WilliamCharles comments on Aug 19, 2022:

Biden's only purpose was to kneecap Bernie after the young lions all crashed and burned. Establishment Dems proved they would rather lose with a corporate Dem than win with a progressive. They could have locked up the engaged youth vote for years to come. Instead they shat the bed with Biden. I ...

TomMcGiverin replies on Aug 19, 2022:

@WilliamCharles The Dems have not run a progressive for prez since 1972. Much has changed since then and the surveys of voters that only look at policies, not labels or political parties, show most Americans are way to the left of the Dems in what policies they support. So how the hell can anyone honestly say that a progressive like Bernie could not win? They can't because it's never been tried since 1972 and the media keeps saying he can't win just because they don't want him as prez and so they beat it into people's heads until it becomes conventional wisdom, etc. Yet, he still remains the most popular pol in America most of the time. What does that say? To me, it says that people really don't care about the socialist label on him and that the media is lying to serve their own agenda. The only way to prove he can't win is to actually try it and see what happens. Hell, I think he could have won in the past as a third party candidate if he had done so and been able to get into the presidential debates, even tho the corporate media would have done everything possible to defeat him in a general election. I wish that any liberal who says Bernie wouldn't have won the last two times, really needs to read Chomsky's book Manufacturing Consent. They might learn something about how the corporate media, the Dem Party, and public opinion actually work in America and then they would maybe wake up and realize they have been deluded and lied to by and about the Dem Party and Bernie's viability as a prez candidate. But they will never even read the fucking book in the first place, because they prefer to keep their delusions and dismiss anything by Chomsky or any other radical, as too radical for them to be credible, etc. So they prove, in their own way, that liberals can be just as tunnel-visioned and deluded as Trumpers...

If Biden runs again in 2024, will he keep Kamala Harris as his running mate?

BDair comments on Aug 19, 2022:

There is little chance that Biden will survive his current term without serious cognitive issues. There is almost no chance the DNC will run him in 2024.

TomMcGiverin replies on Aug 19, 2022:

@WilliamCharles And once they take him off that program, if they ever do, he will decline much more rapidly. I know, my late wife had dementia and I learned a lot about all kinds of dementia from that experience. If you put someone on anti dementia drugs, the drugs only slow the symptoms and effects of the dementia, but the disease still progresses inside their brain, and if you take them off the drugs, their brain turns to mush really fast. and they die fairly soon after.

Former Trump Press Secretary’s Sister Launching Dating App for MAGAs Former Trump Press ...

MyTVC15 comments on Aug 18, 2022:

Does that mean that the rest of the dating sites will be MAGA free????

TomMcGiverin replies on Aug 19, 2022:

@MyTVC15 I am glad you have those standards on men and politics. Frankly, I am starting to get so cynical that I wouldn't doubt that there are some liberal women who would still date a guy who was a Trump supporter, as long as he seemed compatible in most other ways and was hot enough looking. I am starting to believe that women in my dating pool who are 6s and 7s in looks are becoming or have become out of my league for online dating, since there are so many more men than women in my local Match dating pool. And as a result of that, the women in that above group for looks are probably only ending up dating the men who are 8s and 9s in looks, thinking the guys will stay with them and want a relationship with them, when the reality is, those guys are only using them for sex and then moving on to the next woman in their level of looks. Or maybe it might even be that those women aren't really after a long term relationship, despite most of them saying so in their profiles, and they are very content to just have some fun and enjoy some great sex for a while with these men. Either way, it leaves average looking guys like me out of luck and on the sidelines most of the time, unless we settle for only dating women who are 4s and 5s in looks. And round and round it goes... I have even heard there are studies that have validated this trend of the women in that group chasing the great-looking men, getting used and then spoiled by the great sex, then ending up with no long term relationship and becoming lonely and unhappy, because they will no longer settle for an average looking man after the studs. Guess they can only blame themselves... It's a sad and vicious game...

If Biden runs again in 2024, will he keep Kamala Harris as his running mate?

Flyingsaucesir comments on Aug 18, 2022:

Biden only ran reluctantly in 2020. And with his record of accomplishments he can retire with honor. Hopefully he will endorse Gavin Newsom as his successor. Not that I don't think Harris couldn't do the job; I'm sure she could. But getting her elected might be a stretch. And the stakes are so ...

TomMcGiverin replies on Aug 19, 2022:

Trust me man, you care way more about winning fed elections than the DNC or the party ever will....

If Biden runs again in 2024, will he keep Kamala Harris as his running mate?

Flyingsaucesir comments on Aug 18, 2022:

The video clip was edited to make her look bad. I can identify at least two cuts in the tape, the first more obvious than the second. So much for the veracity of Sky News.

TomMcGiverin replies on Aug 19, 2022:

@puff Harris is a liability for them, but they really don't care, since, as I said above, winning elections are beside the point to the DNC. She serves a purpose as an identity politics symbol for the party, but that's it.

If Biden runs again in 2024, will he keep Kamala Harris as his running mate?

DenoPenno comments on Aug 19, 2022:

Since the VP choice is up to the Biden Team I'm not going to waste time or energy trying to convince anyone that the choice should be anyone else. What's the point? As time goes on I find more and more that people want to believe that if the election winner was not their choice then an instant ...

TomMcGiverin replies on Aug 19, 2022:

I think the Dems will lose the presidential race in two years, no matter what, and deservedly so. We could have had Bernie for two terms, but they never allowed it, so they deserve to be out of power again, not that they really care about that. Ever since the DLC was established, all they have cared about since in fed elections is just about raking in all the corporate campaign money they can get. Winning elections is beside the point to them.

If Biden runs again in 2024, will he keep Kamala Harris as his running mate?

WilliamCharles comments on Aug 19, 2022:

Biden's only purpose was to kneecap Bernie after the young lions all crashed and burned. Establishment Dems proved they would rather lose with a corporate Dem than win with a progressive. They could have locked up the engaged youth vote for years to come. Instead they shat the bed with Biden. I ...

TomMcGiverin replies on Aug 19, 2022:

I wish more so-called liberals would wake up to the reality of what you say about the Dems. I am so fucking sick of their self-serving denial of it simply because they either can't stomach the idea of socialism or because they are too goddamn selfish to ever support socialism, thinking that it would somehow prevent them or their kids from becoming rich someday. But the young people have woke up to this scam and do not trust the Dems at all to do anything for them, after they saw how Bernie really supported things that would benefit them and inspired lots of support for him among young people, then he was defeated and they saw how Biden had no interest in helping them like Bernie would. So the party has probably lost the young people for at least the foreseeable future. They will just give up and sit out elections. And who can honestly blame them for not voting blue?

Former Trump Press Secretary’s Sister Launching Dating App for MAGAs Former Trump Press ...

MyTVC15 comments on Aug 18, 2022:

Does that mean that the rest of the dating sites will be MAGA free????

TomMcGiverin replies on Aug 18, 2022:

Well, we can only hope, but I won't hold my breath. In my local dating pool, I don't see them as competition, since I would never date any of the women who would want them. I've heard from a lot of women on Match in my local dating pool that they run across a lot of them, but they see those guys as mostly an annoyance, and reject them out of hand. So if the ones in my area did move to that site, it would save some women a lot of annoyance, but otherwise, nothing would change.

I’m scratching my head on this one.

TomMcGiverin comments on Aug 18, 2022:

Nice to see I'm not getting the usual male-bashing, blame on me personally for my dating woes, and the other shit I would always see in discussions like these from Deb57, Gwendolyn 2018, and other women on here. Finally, the truth about how online dating is way more stacked against men finally is ...

TomMcGiverin replies on Aug 18, 2022:

@Apunzelle I don't agree with Millenial bashing either, but I have had some bashing from them towards Boomers in general or even me for being a Boomer, but not on here. I understand and agree with their bashing of my generation in general, because it's mostly true, esp. about the older Boomers, most of whom had it pretty good in their youth and adulthood, and as a group, most of them did sell out and vote selfishly and foolishly for Reagan and other Repubs, after leaving behind the counterculture and hippie trends. But I never did sell out or start voting for Repubs or even corporate Dems. So I have always been on the right side and that of the underdog and the masses, not my own self interest. So while my generation may have been guilty of screwing over the Millenials, esp. the Boomers who got into politics or running corporations, individually my hands are clean and I accept no blame for my generation.

I’m scratching my head on this one.

TomMcGiverin comments on Aug 18, 2022:

Nice to see I'm not getting the usual male-bashing, blame on me personally for my dating woes, and the other shit I would always see in discussions like these from Deb57, Gwendolyn 2018, and other women on here. Finally, the truth about how online dating is way more stacked against men finally is ...

TomMcGiverin replies on Aug 18, 2022:

@Apunzelle A big part of why it's not happening here this time is that, by now, there are blocks on the site between me and Deb57, along with some other people, mostly women, who would bash and blame me in the past whenever I honestly shared about my dating woes and talked about the bad behavior and attitudes of women I encountered in online dating. Some people just can't either stand to hear bad behavior on the part of their gender or else they enjoy blaming the victim. Those members here that would bash me are no longer able to see my comments here, so they haven't flocked to the thread to bash and blame me.

I’m scratching my head on this one.

FvckY0u comments on Aug 18, 2022:

It often comes down to expectations, doesn't it? Perhaps it's the expectations that need to be changed.

TomMcGiverin replies on Aug 18, 2022:

@FvckY0u True, that would be getting off topic.

I’m scratching my head on this one.

FvckY0u comments on Aug 18, 2022:

It often comes down to expectations, doesn't it? Perhaps it's the expectations that need to be changed.

TomMcGiverin replies on Aug 18, 2022:

@FvckY0u Philosophy and introspection? Sounds like what a wise old guy long ago told me was more like, " Hi-ho fuckaround". But I get your point and appreciate your concern and support.