Poor old Larry dies and finds himself in hell. He is wallowing in despair when he has his first meeting with the devil…
Devil: why so miserable?
Larry: what do you think? I’m in hell.
Devil: it’s not so bad. We actually have a lot of fun down here… You like to drink, Larry?
Larry: sure, I like to drink.
Devil: Well you’re going to love Mondays then. On Mondays that’s all we do is drink. Beer, wine, whiskey, you want it we got it..We drink till we throw up and then we drink some more!
Larry: Gee that sounds great.
Devil: you a smoker?
Larry: you better believe it! Love smoking.
Devil: OK!! You’re going to love Tuesdays. We get the finest Cuban cigars, and smoker lungs out. If you get cancer no problem you’re already dead remember?
Larry: Wow that’s awesome!
Devil: I bet you like to gamble.
Larry: why, yes, as a matter of fact, I do. Love the gambling!
Devil: Cause Wednesday you can gamble all you want. Blackjack, roulette, poker, slots, craps, whatever. If you go bankrupt - who cares, you’re dead anyhow.
You do drugs?
Larry: Are you kidding? Love drugs! You don’t mean....
Devil: I do! Thursday is drug day. Help yourself to a great big bowl of crack. Or smack. Meth, we got it..Smoke a bong the size of a submarine. You can do all the drugs you want and if you overdose, that’s OK - your dead - so who cares! OD as much as you like!
Larry: Geewhiz, I never realize that Hell was such a great place!!
Devil: See, now you’re getting the hang of it! Now Larry tell me, are you gay?
Larry: ah no.
Devil: Oooooooh Larry, you’re really gonna hate Fridays!!