A guy joins the parachute regiment and the sergeant is going through the drill. "In the unlikely event that your primary parachute does not open then release it and deploy your reserve parrachute"
His hand goes up and the guy asks "What should I do if the reserve fails to open sergeant?"
"In the very unlikely event of your reserve failing to open then you must pray to Allah"
"Allah sarge, are you sure?"
"I did not write the army manual soldier. I just instruct you on how to use it and if it says to pray to Allah then that is what you do, got it?"
"Yes sarge"
Well this being a joke you know what happens next. Both his parachutes fail and he is hurtling the air at terminal velocity. Then he remembers the instructions and cries "Allah save me". Sure enough, a big black hand comes out of the sky, grabs him and places him safely on the ground. He lets out a huge sigh of relief and says "Thank Christ for that" and a big black foot goes splat!