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God comes over to St Peter and says " Look, we are all backed up in admissions. The celestial computers are down and we are having to process them all by hand. So I dont want anybody let in unless they have had a really bad day. " " Its not enough that they have just died boss? "
" No it`s not enough that they have died. They have to have had a REALLY bad day, okay? "
" Got it boss " St Peter answers

First guy comes along and St Peter asked what happend
" Well I knew my wife was cheating on me. She would get her hair done all the time and then I noticed a credit card receipt for some sexy underwear that I never got to see. Anyway one day when she seemed particularly anxious to get me off to work, I left our 3rd floor flat and called in sick. I waited in a cafe for about an hour and a half then I came home to surprise them. When I came in I noticed a guy hanging from the balcony outside of our kitchen and he was stark naked. I picked up a meat tenderizer and hit his hands with it till he fell 3 stories down. It did nit kill him though because some bushes broke his fall, So in a rage I dragged the fridge over to the balcony and throw it over. Well that must have done for him but it also did for me, because my heart gave in and I ended up here. "
" Okay you can come in " said St Peter. "

Second guy comes along and St Peter asks again....
" I was late for an important meeting at work so I took a quick shower. As I was just getting out, my phone rang. It must have been my boss but the phone was in the kitchen. I ran as fast as I could before it stopped ringing but I slipped and fell out of my 4th floor balcony. As luck would have though I managed to grab the balcony on the next floor down. Clinging on for dear life when this guy came in and started hitting my hands with a meat tenderizer. Luckily some bushes broke my fall but then something landed on me and now I am here "
" Okay you can come in " and St Peter opens the gate.

Third guy comes along and St Peter says " Listen bud you have better have had a really bad day or else you will have to wait. So give it your best shot "
" Well I was hiding in this fridge..... "

273kelvin 8 Mar 18
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Convoluted but worth it!!!!

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