zeuser's Profile

Technically, she can't be a bonehead..

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Oct 6, 2022:

I just sent "I pulled grandpa's finger" to my granddaughter....

zeuser replies on Oct 6, 2022:

I bet you pulled that on her once or twice. 😜

From one of my Irish homies.

St-Sinner comments on Oct 6, 2022:

Lol... Jut a confession and doing it again would've cleansed it.

zeuser replies on Oct 6, 2022:

Being a protestant is not a forgivable offense for Irish catholics, in my experience.

Everyone knows about batshit, but did you know.

tinkercreek comments on Oct 5, 2022:

Great set, thanks!

zeuser replies on Oct 5, 2022:

You're welcome. 😏

Everyone knows about batshit, but did you know.

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Oct 4, 2022:

Squids are a lower form of Marine life with no backbone....

zeuser replies on Oct 5, 2022:

@Lizard_of_Ahaz All the more reason to do it. 😜

Everyone knows about batshit, but did you know.

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Oct 4, 2022:

Squids are a lower form of Marine life with no backbone....

zeuser replies on Oct 4, 2022:

The squid should logically replace the elephant as the symbol of the GOP.

Everyone knows about batshit, but did you know.

Lorajay comments on Oct 4, 2022:

I stole the junk drawer one.

zeuser replies on Oct 4, 2022:

That's what they're there for. I stole 'em too.

OK, this is a little snarky, but I laughed. 😏

silverotter11 comments on Oct 4, 2022:

🤣🤣🤣Snarky??? Not hardly🤣🤣🤣!

zeuser replies on Oct 4, 2022:

But, what about those Phillies? ;) Red October!

OK, this is a little snarky, but I laughed. 😏

OldGoat43 comments on Oct 4, 2022:

My ex-friends and family members won't be offended, they just won't get it.

zeuser replies on Oct 4, 2022:

That right there is the beauty of making fun of the righties. They are too dumb to grasp that they have just been owned.

OK, this is a little snarky, but I laughed. 😏

LucyLoohoo comments on Oct 4, 2022:

You don't think it's too difficult???

zeuser replies on Oct 4, 2022:

Could be. Those guys are generally just lost all on their own.

"Seven blunders of the world that lead to violence: wealth without work, pleasure without ...

Fernapple comments on Oct 4, 2022:

Eight. Morality without humanity.

zeuser replies on Oct 4, 2022:

Yeah, I can see that.

STILL your go to source for cheesy puns and bathroom humor. ;)

Lorajay comments on Oct 2, 2022:

God's preference on sports teams sure hits home for Oklahoma and Sooner fans today.

zeuser replies on Oct 3, 2022:

@silverotter11 I remember that trade. He stabilized that pitching staff as a wily veteran pitcher. We had Hamels and Happ and Brad Lidge who we practically stole from the Astros, but Moyers gave us a reliable 3rd day starter. Of course, having Howard, Utley, Rollins, Werth and Victorino on the field didn't hurt.

STILL your go to source for cheesy puns and bathroom humor. ;)

Lorajay comments on Oct 2, 2022:

God's preference on sports teams sure hits home for Oklahoma and Sooner fans today.

zeuser replies on Oct 3, 2022:

@silverotter11 They played erratically in September. I hope they can pull it out too, but hey, it's not 2008 anymore. Still, go phils! And what about those iggles?

Physics for bird lovers.

JackPedigo comments on Oct 3, 2022:

Putti Puts world is shrinking. Lets hope someone squashes him before he does something trumplike (really really stuuupid).

zeuser replies on Oct 3, 2022:

The ghouls in the Kremlin aren't happy. If they have more backbone than republican senators, it could be the final act in a really shitty play.

STILL your go to source for cheesy puns and bathroom humor. ;)

AnneWimsey comments on Oct 3, 2022:

Why I am downright impatient for the Rapture!

zeuser replies on Oct 3, 2022:

Ooo, ooo, I know! Call on me! ;)

Hey, if it works for declassification, it should work for anything, right?

glennlab comments on Oct 2, 2022:

Amazing that a man that has never seen a vagina wants to make rules governing them.

zeuser replies on Oct 3, 2022:

@joeandbarb That's why he is so grabbable. LOL

Get the restaurant-sized bottle.

LucyLoohoo comments on Oct 3, 2022:

ESPECIALLY GOOD ONES, ZEEE! Thanks!

zeuser replies on Oct 3, 2022:

My pleasure!

STILL your go to source for cheesy puns and bathroom humor. ;)

AnonySchmoose comments on Oct 3, 2022:

I want to know why horseshit is considered nonsense. It is one of the neater types like rabbit shit though larger

zeuser replies on Oct 3, 2022:

Nobody can say you don't know shit. 😏

Now it's a shoulda woulda coulda list.

ThinkingFree comments on Oct 2, 2022:

I love the Sid Jones one !!! 🤣😂😅

zeuser replies on Oct 2, 2022:

It's a cautionary tale for wives or roommates. It's also a legal way to get the insurance money. Heh.

STILL your go to source for cheesy puns and bathroom humor. ;)

Lorajay comments on Oct 2, 2022:

God's preference on sports teams sure hits home for Oklahoma and Sooner fans today.

zeuser replies on Oct 2, 2022:

Now I do have sports teams that I favor, but gawd has nothing to do with the iggles or the phillies.

STILL your go to source for cheesy puns and bathroom humor. ;)

glennlab comments on Oct 2, 2022:

Holy shit - unbelievable

zeuser replies on Oct 2, 2022:

See, now you are getting into the swing of things. LOL

Hey, if it works for declassification, it should work for anything, right?

glennlab comments on Oct 2, 2022:

Amazing that a man that has never seen a vagina wants to make rules governing them.

zeuser replies on Oct 2, 2022:

He sees one in the mirror every time he shaves.

STILL your go to source for cheesy puns and bathroom humor. ;)

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Oct 2, 2022:

Love the rapture one....

zeuser replies on Oct 2, 2022:

You don't need cash in the afterlife. LOL

Get the restaurant-sized bottle.

Redheadedgammy comments on Oct 2, 2022:

Those pants are hilarious!!! 🤣🤣 I bet MAGAts heads would explode 🤯 if they saw them!

zeuser replies on Oct 2, 2022:

Honestly, I think they are the target market.

Get the restaurant-sized bottle.

MichelleGar1 comments on Oct 2, 2022:

Those Trump pants! 🤮😂

zeuser replies on Oct 2, 2022:

Perfect for Halloween in Alabama.

Physics for bird lovers.

Lorajay comments on Oct 2, 2022:

Some websites do make me wish there was a hell.

zeuser replies on Oct 2, 2022:

We all feel you.

Physics for bird lovers.

silverotter11 comments on Oct 1, 2022:

🤣😈🤣Excellent! Love the driving so close!🤣😈🤣

zeuser replies on Oct 1, 2022:

Every driver has one of these dickheads on your ass eventually.

Physics for bird lovers.

ThinkingFree comments on Oct 1, 2022:

Ha, ha, really good, Z !! Loved little putin, put, put, put , 🤣😂😅😂🤣

zeuser replies on Oct 1, 2022:

Yeah, that was a good one. Heh.

Stole this from Jim Wright's Stonekettle Station. This is what we usually get anymore.

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Sep 30, 2022:

This has been the case since Nixon got rid of the fairness doctrine and helped create Fox Noise....

zeuser replies on Oct 1, 2022:

Reagan did that, but yeah, that kicked it off.

A good way to trigger an "airport incident".

FvckY0u comments on Sep 30, 2022:

Family religion one = excellent! Dog/Cat one = excellent I really liked the airport one. What is it with lines that make people act so crazy? I used to fly a lot about 25 years ago. I went along with the herd for a while then after a couple international flights I got tired of it. I'd sit my...

zeuser replies on Sep 30, 2022:

I haven't flown since 2003. I have to fly to AZ for my nephew's wedding in 2 weeks, and I am dreading the experience. People seem to be a LOT shittier than they were 19 or 20 years ago.

A good way to trigger an "airport incident".

glennlab comments on Sep 30, 2022:

So can relate to the family talking religion one.

zeuser replies on Sep 30, 2022:

I know, right?

I'd be inclined to go along too.

Redheadedgammy comments on Sep 30, 2022:

Night of the living dead chipmunks! Winner of the day! 😍🤣

zeuser replies on Sep 30, 2022:

It was either the chipmunks or another dinosaur gag. Since this set had a dino gag already, I went with the zombie chips.

A taste for truth at any cost is a passion which spares nothing. - Albert Camus

zeuser comments on Sep 28, 2022:

Usually it gets your ass in trouble. So if this is how you want to go, you have to ask yourself, "can I push through it"? IMHO, yes. Yes you can push through it. Anything that preserves your integrity is WELL worth anything you have to give up.

zeuser replies on Sep 28, 2022:

@MsKathleen Well maybe they shouldb't be your friends. And to be fair, it doesn't win a lot of friends anywhere. ;)

Timberrrrrr.

ThinkingFree comments on Sep 28, 2022:

These are great !!

zeuser replies on Sep 28, 2022:

Thanks!

Cockroach politics.

yvilletom comments on Sep 28, 2022:

Was Kafka angry or envious?

zeuser replies on Sep 28, 2022:

I'd go with "observant".

Not my music, not my monkeys

Sticks48 comments on Sep 27, 2022:

Two of the most underwhelming musicians in the history of popular music.

zeuser replies on Sep 27, 2022:

That stretches the definitions of both "popular music" and "musicians". But I take your point.

Head towards the cheese, prole.

glennlab comments on Sep 27, 2022:

Work was always a rat race.

zeuser replies on Sep 27, 2022:

When it involves money, that's a given.

Not my music, not my monkeys

zeuser comments on Sep 27, 2022:

Lock those two in a room for 3 days and maybe, just maybe, they'll figure out how to crack an egg.

zeuser replies on Sep 27, 2022:

@Lizard_of_Ahaz Yeah, you're right.

Curiosity may have killed the cat, but it shocked the hell out of the dog.

zeuser comments on Sep 26, 2022:

Sometimes, trying it just one time is MORE than enough.

zeuser replies on Sep 26, 2022:

@glennlab The tail is the least of that pooch's worries.

Take special care with the wording of your profile.

glennlab comments on Sep 26, 2022:

The first one reminds me of all the dudes that bitch about dating sites.

zeuser replies on Sep 26, 2022:

I think that was formulated with them in mind.

Hello! (echoes hello hello hello hello)

silverotter11 comments on Sep 25, 2022:

Funny, not funny but an excellent statement on the gop.

zeuser replies on Sep 25, 2022:

I know, right?

Mobilizing an "army" of lunatics.

NHjulie comments on Sep 22, 2022:

I am utterly stunned that he actually brought her emails up again. (that was sarcasm in case no one realized it)

zeuser replies on Sep 25, 2022:

@LucyLoohoo Sure does.

Bebop arctic expedition.

ThinkingFree comments on Sep 25, 2022:

I like the sibling rivalry bar and grill !! Glad I didn't get there !! 😂🤣😂🤣

zeuser replies on Sep 25, 2022:

I don't have any siblings, but I know a lot of people who do. Seems like it can get nasty. My kids like each other, so that's good.

Hello! (echoes hello hello hello hello)

glennlab comments on Sep 25, 2022:

good collection

zeuser replies on Sep 25, 2022:

Thanks!

Hello! (echoes hello hello hello hello)

phxbillcee comments on Sep 25, 2022:

Good set...

zeuser replies on Sep 25, 2022:

Thanks!

Hello! (echoes hello hello hello hello)

SnowyOwl comments on Sep 25, 2022:

Empty promises must have come from Trump's empty mind.

zeuser replies on Sep 25, 2022:

I can see the connection.

Cat + sharpie = Bad News

tinkercreek comments on Sep 25, 2022:

Great set!

zeuser replies on Sep 25, 2022:

Thanks! ;)

Don't lose him!

OldGoat43 comments on Sep 24, 2022:

Three passports and a golf cart loaded with boxes of contraband papers... he's not going to get far.

zeuser replies on Sep 24, 2022:

He has a LOT of accomplices. Track 'em all down, but these guys are crafty.

Don't lose him!

LucyLoohoo comments on Sep 24, 2022:

Wonder if his DEPENDS is full?

zeuser replies on Sep 24, 2022:

Probably.

Private Eye is the UK's best-selling satirical and current affairs news magazine, as you can see in ...

zeuser comments on Sep 24, 2022:

I don't hold a lot of respect for the inbred royals, but I have to admit I feel a little bit badly for Chuck. He's just about upon his dotage, the golden years, he's what, 73? This is when you should relax a little, and now he has to be a king. Not TOO badly, but just a little, poor bastard.

zeuser replies on Sep 24, 2022:

@Ryo1 Yeah, he's a good guy. He should be allowed to relax a bit now. But no. LOL

Easy to do, even when taking a dump.

TheDoubter comments on Sep 23, 2022:

Auguste Rodin would be furious that his creation is associated with a guy without a single brain cell

zeuser replies on Sep 23, 2022:

Well, you have to remember that "the thinker" was part of his work The Gates of Hell".

Mobilizing an "army" of lunatics.

NHjulie comments on Sep 22, 2022:

I am utterly stunned that he actually brought her emails up again. (that was sarcasm in case no one realized it)

zeuser replies on Sep 22, 2022:

There isn't much else he has now. Sad, but I am enjoying the spectacle of his collapse.

Here's one for your face, too.

ThinkingFree comments on Sep 22, 2022:

😂😂😂 I love "We have your child". And parent/teacher conference, the apple/tree !! Thanks, Z !!

zeuser replies on Sep 22, 2022:

Glad you liked 'em. ;)

I haven't seen anything written about Rush Limbaugh since he died.

DenoPenno comments on Sep 21, 2022:

He made a living by creating anger and they wanted to give him a Medal of Freedom. I guess it meant he was free to create anger.

zeuser replies on Sep 21, 2022:

Trump DID dishonor the meaning of the medal of freedom by giving it to THIS asswipe.

Letitia James NY A.

zeuser comments on Sep 21, 2022:

New fund raising email to his rube supporters in 3, 2, 1......

zeuser replies on Sep 21, 2022:

Update: Ivanka is on the hook too!

Letitia James NY A.

zeuser comments on Sep 21, 2022:

New fund raising email to his rube supporters in 3, 2, 1......

zeuser replies on Sep 21, 2022:

@glennlab I wonder if, in addition to being banned from doing business or getting loans in the state of New York, Jr will be banned from buying his coke there. I heard that 2 of his spawn were included in the suit, but didn't see which 2. I'm guessing Jr and Eric, the dynamic duo.

Guy: It hurts when I go like this. Quack on the web: Don't go like that.

glennlab comments on Sep 18, 2022:

If anyone texts me while we are in the same room, they better be prepared for my reaction.

zeuser replies on Sep 18, 2022:

So you're gonna send them the poop emoji? LOL

Waiters, don't spill the beans.

glennlab comments on Sep 18, 2022:

Nice kitchen.

zeuser replies on Sep 18, 2022:

I sort of like the idea of a topless bass player, either in the kitchen or elsewhere.

Round and round she goes.

phxbillcee comments on Sep 18, 2022:

All the political cartoons like this are all of the funny/not-funny variety, any more...

zeuser replies on Sep 18, 2022:

That mirrors our actual politics. Ridiculous and laughable, but deadly serious.

There were once four powerful witch covens: the witches of the mountains, the deserts, the forests, ...

Beowulfsfriend comments on Sep 18, 2022:

Personally, I like the long build up jokes with a short ha-ha at the end.

zeuser replies on Sep 18, 2022:

I am here to grant your wishes, BF. But just for jokes, so don't get any ideas. ;)

A LOT of it "tastes funny" recently.

glennlab comments on Sep 17, 2022:

Seems that happened more than once

zeuser replies on Sep 17, 2022:

A companion meme in a potential themed collection.

The only cow in a small town in Poland stopped giving milk.

St-Sinner comments on Sep 17, 2022:

Damn... Now I suspect mine was from there too.

zeuser replies on Sep 17, 2022:

Yikes! How does she say the word "vodka"? LOL

All kinds of people have been inspired (which sounds like the wrong word) by the Russian Agent ...

phxbillcee comments on Sep 17, 2022:

The AOC one is great, but my favorite is the Sgt Joker one...

zeuser replies on Sep 17, 2022:

Yeah, a great observation.

The only cow in a small town in Poland stopped giving milk.

racocn8 comments on Sep 17, 2022:

That is closer to being a world-wide problem...

zeuser replies on Sep 17, 2022:

Uh, yeah. 😏

The shells are extra.

glennlab comments on Sep 17, 2022:

Wouldn't you know that Reagan's welfare queen is a multi millionaire NFL retiree?

zeuser replies on Sep 17, 2022:

That checks. I feel betrayed because he won a couple of fantasy football leagues for me about a decade ago. Didn't know he was a criminal fraud back then.

It's your problem, not mine.

JackPedigo comments on Sep 16, 2022:

Are the termites terminal?

zeuser replies on Sep 16, 2022:

It depends. How much of you is made out of wood?

Meeting at his golf course without clubs? Hmmmm.

silverotter11 comments on Sep 15, 2022:

Love Mike Luckovich!

zeuser replies on Sep 16, 2022:

He rarely misses the mark.

It's your problem, not mine.

ThinkingFree comments on Sep 15, 2022:

I like "your father gave me $20" 😄😄😄😄😄

zeuser replies on Sep 15, 2022:

Anything for a buck!

It's your problem, not mine.

silverotter11 comments on Sep 14, 2022:

Yeah, #1 came up frequently during my career in the printing industry. My supervisor at my favorite job said to me one time, "You're a real pain in the ass but way too good a worker to fire." My attitude stemmed from not taking any crap from the men/boys and not letting them get away with it ...

zeuser replies on Sep 14, 2022:

@silverotter11 I have an old friend who made a career out of color separation for high end printing. His job vanished like 10 years ago. They kept him because he was good, like you. Then the tech took it over.

It's your problem, not mine.

silverotter11 comments on Sep 14, 2022:

Yeah, #1 came up frequently during my career in the printing industry. My supervisor at my favorite job said to me one time, "You're a real pain in the ass but way too good a worker to fire." My attitude stemmed from not taking any crap from the men/boys and not letting them get away with it ...

zeuser replies on Sep 14, 2022:

You have a LOT of company. Hopefully, it's in the rear view mirror for you.

It's your problem, not mine.

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Sep 14, 2022:

I am #1.....

zeuser replies on Sep 14, 2022:

I knew you were. ;)

It's your problem, not mine.

Lorajay comments on Sep 14, 2022:

Pinocchio is the winner for me today.

zeuser replies on Sep 14, 2022:

For a puppet, termites are, well, terminal.

Meeting at his golf course without clubs? Hmmmm.

OldGoat43 comments on Sep 14, 2022:

I sure hope that the FBI had their parabolic sound receivers focused on that meeting.

zeuser replies on Sep 14, 2022:

I sure hope so!

It's your problem, not mine.

Diaco comments on Sep 14, 2022:

Yeah, Marry me! :D 😆

zeuser replies on Sep 14, 2022:

You gotta make promises that you can keep, you know?

Meeting at his golf course without clubs? Hmmmm.

glennlab comments on Sep 14, 2022:

I almost posted 3 of them. You have great taste.

zeuser replies on Sep 14, 2022:

When I beat you to posting something, I feel like I'm standing on the shoulders of giants. ;)

Meeting at his golf course without clubs? Hmmmm.

Redheadedgammy comments on Sep 14, 2022:

Excellent memes here! 😍

zeuser replies on Sep 14, 2022:

They almost write themselves.

Yeah, me too.

glennlab comments on Sep 13, 2022:

I've known quite a few whose last words were shit, that didn't work. Lesson learned.