“You can safely assume you’ve created God in your own image when it turns out that God hates all...

zeuser comments on Jun 16, 2020:

That's the truth.

zeuser replies on Jun 16, 2020:

@Marionville As Father Guido Sarducci once said, "If God made us all in his image, why aren't we all, like, invisible?"

Just ouch !!!

zeuser comments on Jun 15, 2020:

Ooooo, that is nothing to laugh about.

zeuser replies on Jun 16, 2020:

@Besalbub No, but it still made me pull my legs in a little.

Some guys are not qualified!

Cutiebeauty comments on Jun 15, 2020:

Damn! Now i can't see it as one word!

zeuser replies on Jun 15, 2020:

Kinda like famous hor semen. Heh.

“Why do men think they know how cook outside when they don’t have the smallest idea how to do it...

zeuser comments on Jun 15, 2020:

Hey now, we aren't ALL clueless in the kitchen ya know.

zeuser replies on Jun 15, 2020:

@Marionville You get into trouble when you generalize and stereotype. But I see his point.

Trump, and PENCE Now have More to Tweet their Asses About: [nytimes.com]

LucyLoohoo comments on Jun 15, 2020:

The three who voted against this should be HUNG!

zeuser replies on Jun 15, 2020:

@BirdMan1 Wow. Tough crowd!

Trump, and PENCE Now have More to Tweet their Asses About: [nytimes.com]

LucyLoohoo comments on Jun 15, 2020:

The three who voted against this should be HUNG!

zeuser replies on Jun 15, 2020:

I've heard that Clarence Thomas IS hung, actually. *ducking*

Here's another joke from my AI buddy Amy.

Cutiebeauty comments on Jun 14, 2020:

She is getting better!! I love this joke 😊😂😂

zeuser replies on Jun 14, 2020:

I'll tell her the next time I chat with her.

So I thought before that the administration was just stupid for planning the next rally on ...

zeuser comments on Jun 13, 2020:

Actually, he did a rare about face and bumped it up a day while issuing a sorta-kinda sorry-not-sorry "apology". So you can tell he's feeling the heat. It ain't gonna help him with the minority vote, not now, but still.

zeuser replies on Jun 13, 2020:

@OldGoat43 I've read that he bumped it specifically because he did not want to confront the counter-protestors. I believe that. He's a sniveling, mewling coward at heart, and that generously assumes he has a heart.

badboys badboys ...[agnostic.com]

EyesThatSmile comments on Jun 13, 2020:

There’s someone out there who will love him, I am sure. Probably his mama.

zeuser replies on Jun 13, 2020:

What's that old BB King song? "Nobody Loves Me But My Mama, and She Might Be Jivin Me Too".

Melania Used Newfound Leverage to Redo Prenup After Election According to a new book written by...

joeandbarb comments on Jun 13, 2020:

The whole lot of them belong in jail. Treason, theft of the national treasury, openly violating the American peoples rights, and many others too numerous to list. She is no better than any of them. Just a gold digging whore who decided it was easier to trade pussy than work for a living

zeuser replies on Jun 13, 2020:

She's got a nice ass though. I've seen the photo spread.

Brutal New Biden Ad...Way to Go!!!!!!: [dailykos.com]

zeuser comments on Jun 13, 2020:

I LOVE it! Gloves are off, you fat fucker, keep your left up and guard your balls, cuz we are coming at you punchin' hard!

zeuser replies on Jun 13, 2020:

@freeofgod If he does, he won't after we get through with him this election cycle. Then Melania will have a turn.

Best GOP Platform Ever Says 'Current President'​​ Really Sucks [wonkette.com]

Lorajay comments on Jun 13, 2020:

I truly wish this was not a satire site.

zeuser replies on Jun 13, 2020:

Actually, this is true. The committee drafting the RNC platform was so lazy, they copied the 2016 version word for word, and the false demeaning rhetoric in there aimed at Obama actually does apply to the current useless piece of meat with eyes.

Let me at em, let me at em! Where's my diet coke?

BirdMan1 comments on Jun 12, 2020:

Bert Lahr does not deserve such treatment!

zeuser replies on Jun 13, 2020:

@BirdMan1 He is lyin' son of a bitch, there is that.

I'm out of town to see my old dad, so I may not be able to keep up with the posts and responses.

LucyLoohoo comments on Jun 12, 2020:

Imagine it? The GOP telling the truth?

zeuser replies on Jun 12, 2020:

@LucyLoohoo Yeah, Loo, you got it! LOL

I'm out of town to see my old dad, so I may not be able to keep up with the posts and responses.

WonderWartHog99 comments on Jun 12, 2020:

## It sounds like "Here's what wrong with us and we'll keep doing it." Some theorize they're talking about the Obama administration because of Trump's inability to take blame.

zeuser replies on Jun 12, 2020:

Nah, I just think it's being lazy. Wasn't Jared supposed to be the guy writing the platform? That checks.

I'm out of town to see my old dad, so I may not be able to keep up with the posts and responses.

LucyLoohoo comments on Jun 12, 2020:

Imagine it? The GOP telling the truth?

zeuser replies on Jun 12, 2020:

Naturally, it's by accident.

Ask for a slice of tomato. C'mon, I dare you.

Cutiebeauty comments on Jun 12, 2020:

I'd ask for two slices of tomato and three types of cheese! 😊😜

zeuser replies on Jun 12, 2020:

Get ready for the griddle. 🤣

I've been fooling around with an AI.

Athena comments on Jun 12, 2020:

I just got an AI that does vacuum, laundry, and dishes but she doesn't tell jokes. I want my money back.

zeuser replies on Jun 12, 2020:

@Cutiebeauty Hey now.

A Rapture Event that would do some good for a change ....

zeuser comments on Jun 11, 2020:

One of the few events which, if it happened, would make me reconsider religion. But I'd stop when I realized that I might get raptured along with those assholes too.

zeuser replies on Jun 12, 2020:

@AnonySchmoose No, me neither. Been there, done that, still can't get the stench out of my nostrils.

Yeah thats a bad day

Lorajay comments on Jun 10, 2020:

It's so weird but my last 2 driver's license photos make me look better than I look.

zeuser replies on Jun 12, 2020:

My current one is the best one I've ever had. I wish I looked that good every day.

Ask for a slice of tomato. C'mon, I dare you.

Bobbyzen comments on Jun 11, 2020:

This is a story from a year ago about this truck. Now I’m gonna look for a follow up to see if it happened. Stephen King - yes the one and only - gave this guy props for the idea. https://www.distractify.com/p/one-dollar-grilled-cheese-truck

zeuser replies on Jun 11, 2020:

He's a Massachusetts guy, but he would fit in perfectly in south Philly. Thanks for posting the article.

I'm out of town to see my old dad, so I may not be able to keep up with the posts and responses.

freeofgod comments on Jun 11, 2020:

Have a good time. Stay safe. Where does your dad live? Somewhere far from the virus I hope.

zeuser replies on Jun 11, 2020:

There IS no place far from the virus. He's in the Scranton PA area, Dunmore to be precise, and they are being very cautious about this re-opening business. Better than they are doing in NC, IMO. And the folks here seem to be ok with it. Very cautious. There is a larger elderly population here, and those guys are reeeeal wary about the virus.

Ask for a slice of tomato. C'mon, I dare you.

Cast1es comments on Jun 11, 2020:

Not very interested in encouraging customers to buy stuff , is he ?

zeuser replies on Jun 11, 2020:

You may be missing the point. They are selling something and they do NOT want people to suggest they sell something else. I'm not sure this was from Philly, but I'd bet money that yeah it was. The attitude is what counts.

Ask for a slice of tomato. C'mon, I dare you.

Lilac-JadeCanada comments on Jun 11, 2020:

You can shove your $1 grilled cheese....

zeuser replies on Jun 11, 2020:

Not everybody like the basic grilled cheese, and I see you are one of them. That's ok, there's room for all gustatorial eccentricities.

Ask for a slice of tomato. C'mon, I dare you.

Bobbyzen comments on Jun 11, 2020:

Please, oh please please please, please tell me this is real. I so wanna believe this is real. It’s too dang good!🤣😂🤣😂

zeuser replies on Jun 11, 2020:

I know, right? I'm selling grilled cheese, goddamit!

I'm out of town to see my old dad, so I may not be able to keep up with the posts and responses.

BitFlipper comments on Jun 11, 2020:

trump has a platform? Does it have any connection with reality?

zeuser replies on Jun 11, 2020:

They left what they thought was the anti-Obama language in the platform, but it really is more accurate when you look at Trump, then you add laziness to fascism. Mix and stir and you get their platform.

I'm out of town to see my old dad, so I may not be able to keep up with the posts and responses.

Freedompath comments on Jun 11, 2020:

I think that you better stay with the ‘in crowd!’ A temporary twisted platform with the Rupubs...is no good reason to take up with them! Their underlying inhumanity will soon be back to the forefront! They can’t help themselves!

zeuser replies on Jun 11, 2020:

Well, when the language in their platform from 2016 that was meant to demean President Obama is lazily left into the official platform for 2020, and the language applies soooo much more accurately to the current abomination in chief than it did to Obama (which it did not, by the way), I think that's hilarious, and I agree with the language. It wasn't true back then, but it sure the fuck is true right now.

I'd say Trump is in dire straits at this stage.

Sticks48 comments on Jun 9, 2020:

In the words of the late Gomer Pyle...Shazam!

zeuser replies on Jun 9, 2020:

Just to clarify, Jim Nabors may have passed, but Gomer Pyle lives on.

I'd say Trump is in dire straits at this stage.

zeuser comments on Jun 9, 2020:

Politicians say shit they think people want to hear. Watch what he does. There's the tipoff.

zeuser replies on Jun 9, 2020:

@SeaGreenEyez I hope you have it right, SGE. Lordy it's about fucklng time, isn't it?

Steve Schmidt on MSNBC talking about Barr's "thugocracy". [twitter.com]

zeuser comments on Jun 7, 2020:

This is another guy with a lot of negative karma to neutralize. His work as part of the Lincoln Project goes a long way towards that kind of redemption.

zeuser replies on Jun 7, 2020:

@HumanistJohn All true, this is the negative karma I referred to in my comment. For the existential goal of removing our imbecilic fascist president, however, the enemy of my enemy is my friend. At least until he is good and truly removed.

I can understand Republicans not supporting the imbecile's re-election, but some of them are ...

LucyLoohoo comments on Jun 6, 2020:

There MUST be some personal pride and integrity in the GOP....there simply MUST be!

zeuser replies on Jun 6, 2020:

I believe there is. Now it's the time to speak up, though. Way past the time.

I can understand Republicans not supporting the imbecile's re-election, but some of them are ...

AnneWimsey comments on Jun 6, 2020:

Rats, ship,bye-bye. IMO too little too late.......

zeuser replies on Jun 6, 2020:

People have really been afraid of being on the business end of one of his insulting tirades, and I think that quelled a lot of the reaction on the republican side. Now, however, there is a growing realization that his bag of sad schoolyard bullshit isn't really working anymore, and people are not buying what he is selling. Also, there is a bandwagon effect. I always said that when one or two guys on that side started to seriously go after him, the floodgates would open. I don't think we've quite gotten there yet, but what we see now, especially with the Bushies turning on him, in addition to all the prominent ex-generals, is the beginning of the end for the naked emperor.

I can understand Republicans not supporting the imbecile's re-election, but some of them are ...

HippieChick58 comments on Jun 6, 2020:

Yay, maybe they have found their decency.

zeuser replies on Jun 6, 2020:

They've got a lot of karma to balance, but I'll take any help we can get.

Rand Paul Says Secret to Social Distancing Is Making Everyone Despise You | The New Yorker

glennlab comments on Jun 5, 2020:

Damn he's good at it. How do you support lynching?

zeuser replies on Jun 5, 2020:

Kentucky politics is....unique.

[queerty.

zeuser comments on Jun 4, 2020:

If you like to engage in parallelism, you can make the credible argument that Nazi Germany's international military success began with an alliance with Russia against the rest of the Europe, and their decline began when they turned on Russia. I don't see our semi-fuerher wannabe double-crossing ...

zeuser replies on Jun 4, 2020:

@MikeInBatonRouge Well, to your point, there really is an international trend towards strongmen leaders and right wing regimes right now. Germany and Austria, for example, have large anti-immigrant right wing movements. Brazil has definitely gone with a faux fascist anti-science government. Australia is heading that way, and sadly so is Poland. Certain Scandinavians are falling for it too. There are others. It's still the wrong way to travel if you ask me, no matter if you label any individual movement "nazi" or not. It has a cyclical feel to it, but the stakes this time seem more existentially serious.

I enjoy being part of this group , being almost two years since I joined.

freeofgod comments on Jun 3, 2020:

Being an atheist is a **really** big thing in parts of the US.

zeuser replies on Jun 3, 2020:

@freeofgod Well they do, but it's more of a racist sadistic sort of humor meant to insult and demean. For normal people, it's not funny, so I'd agree with you there. But they think they are being clever and hilarious.

Hand to somebody, and then back quickly away as they open it.

AtheistInNC comments on Jun 2, 2020:

When I was growing up, my mom handed me an envelope marked "rattlesnake eggs". Has anyone ever seen that gag? Inside the envelope is a long "u" of wire (about the length of the envelope in use) with a rubber band run through the holes of the button, and the ends of the rubber band looped around ...

zeuser replies on Jun 3, 2020:

Somebody pulled that on a bunch of us at a party I was at maybe 30 years ago. The classics never get old.

THIS! is the real Trump! Beyond words His one accomplishment will have been the ripping apart of ...

zeuser comments on May 31, 2020:

This isn't really a big reveal, we've been expecting this all along, or at least I have but I think I have a lot of company.

zeuser replies on May 31, 2020:

@BirdMan1 Yeah, I hear you partner.

Social distancing between cavemen & dinosaurs.

Athena comments on May 31, 2020:

What would we do without the hilarity of Christian's and their ridiculous arguments?

zeuser replies on May 31, 2020:

@Merseyman1 No real shortage of options. The christers don't have a monopoly on being ridiculous, though I gotta admit they are pretty good at it.

Social distancing between cavemen & dinosaurs.

Athena comments on May 31, 2020:

What would we do without the hilarity of Christian's and their ridiculous arguments?

zeuser replies on May 31, 2020:

Laugh at the muslims?

Just saw an ad for the Space Force before the launch .

Charlene comments on May 30, 2020:

Fuuuck I missed the launch😭😭😭😭😭😭🥺🥺

zeuser replies on May 30, 2020:

Watch the replay. It looked like every other rocket launch I've ever watched.

Minneapolis Seethes Over George Floyd's Death As Trump Calls Protesters 'THUGS' : NPR

OldGoat43 comments on May 29, 2020:

He's obviously stoking the fires of hatred and trying to bring the riots to a point of being asked to bring in the National Guard. Which in turn will give him the ability to invoke Martial Law... which will be the beginning of his term as a true Dictator. Any doubts?

zeuser replies on May 30, 2020:

I'm pretty sure that's in the back of Stephen Miller's Nazi mind.

Trump's Proxy in Florida: [alternet.org]

zeuser comments on May 28, 2020:

DeSantis is a putz, an ass-kissing sycophant, a shill for billionaires, and I bet he smells like stale urine.

zeuser replies on May 28, 2020:

@LucyLoohoo Of that I have no doubt!

History, it's a harsh mistress.

zeuser comments on May 27, 2020:

I think this was Putin's plan all along. We'll see if it pans out for him.

zeuser replies on May 27, 2020:

@Observer-Effect That's the sad truth.

Could work in my favor for a change. LOL

lerlo comments on May 23, 2020:

and why are we dressed alike?

zeuser replies on May 23, 2020:

Mother-daughter day. Dad is elsewhere.

Could work in my favor for a change. LOL

Merseyman1 comments on May 23, 2020:

The Lone Ranger?

zeuser replies on May 23, 2020:

Hiyo Silver! Away!

“The path of least resistance and least trouble is a mental rut already made.

zeuser comments on May 21, 2020:

And as we all know, work is unpopular.

zeuser replies on May 21, 2020:

@LetzGetReal That's great. Too many people are stuck doing what they have to do rather than what they want to do. Worse, the ones who can't find a place to work at all.

Something sounds fishy indeed!

Killtheskyfairy comments on May 20, 2020:

Why do people who have one of those on their bumpers always drive like dicks?

zeuser replies on May 20, 2020:

Because they *are* dicks? Something to consider.

We got a more than a few of us here that are of a certain age range.

brentan comments on May 19, 2020:

I'm relieved! How we really are isn't too bad in comparison.

zeuser replies on May 19, 2020:

Yeah, you're right. 😊

Sounds good how about you

zeuser comments on May 17, 2020:

Me too!

zeuser replies on May 17, 2020:

@Austin-Cambridge You never get 'em if you stay drunk. Important tip.

Oh my, Grandma!

bobwjr comments on May 15, 2020:

Lmao busy lady

zeuser replies on May 16, 2020:

Doesn't seem to be any grass growing on the old man, either.

Oh my, Grandma!

zeuser comments on May 15, 2020:

Back then, it was a species survival mechanism because you knew a couple of your kids were gonna die before they grew up. Given our current situation, it might not be a bad idea to revisit this strategy.

zeuser replies on May 16, 2020:

@MeggieCleary Let's see how serious the death rates get to be. Hopefully, we won't have to revisit anything.

[yahoo.

zeuser comments on May 15, 2020:

I think in his perverted logic, and it's stretch to call it that, he means that this proves we are testing a lot. Either that, or it's another prime example of orangutanian sarcasm. The third alternative is he actually believes this and that is his strategy, again if that's what you want to call it....

zeuser replies on May 15, 2020:

@larsatrg I think you're right partner. Take care with that noggin of yours, we need you in November. 😊

Please listen to the man!

zeuser comments on May 15, 2020:

This was stupid the first time he tried it, and it makes even less sense now. On Fox however, they are pissing themselves with glee about the "political scandal of the century".

zeuser replies on May 15, 2020:

@wolf041 Oh man, that's rough. I sympathize brother.

Please listen to the man!

zeuser comments on May 15, 2020:

This was stupid the first time he tried it, and it makes even less sense now. On Fox however, they are pissing themselves with glee about the "political scandal of the century".

zeuser replies on May 15, 2020:

@BirdMan1 Don't feel too badly, your cousin has a lot of company.

The red shirts are always the pawns.

Donna_I comments on May 13, 2020:

that is awesome!

zeuser replies on May 13, 2020:

Not for the guys wearing red.

Faux news cocksuckers like Inshannity, the drunk beeyotches Pirro and Ingraham and Fucker Carlson ...

zeuser comments on May 13, 2020:

My favorite part is that when things go to shit, and there is no question that what they were saying was wrong, they turn on a dime without any explanation and say the exact opposite the next day. That's my favorite part. The easy hypocrisy.

zeuser replies on May 13, 2020:

@Mofo1953 Yeah, and I'm telling you that's my favorite part. You gotta admit, they are very good at it, it seems almost effortless.

Repubs can't have an educated populace. That all led up to Betsy DeVos.

wonderandlisten comments on Apr 23, 2020:

There is a profound difference between education and thinking. I don't think either side left or right, democrat or republican would benefit from an increase in thinking.

zeuser replies on May 13, 2020:

@Noemi I'm in favor of harmony. But harmony requires understanding and cooperation. In other words, harmony requires work, and work is unpopular. But it is definitely something we all should aspire to.

Yeah, I didn't think so either. Heh.

Merseyman1 comments on May 9, 2020:

But if it existed, would it be with St. Peter? ...the sod!

zeuser replies on May 9, 2020:

You're imagining gay sex between imaginary characters, aren't you? I think my work here is done. 🤣

Yeah, I didn't think so either. Heh.

Novelty comments on May 9, 2020:

I like it as a bridge to Valhalla better than as a pinky pledge to not drown every fucking body. It’s like the dread pirate Robert’s, every day he’d say Wesley get some sleep I’ll most likely kill you in the morning. This went on for five years. LOL 💋

zeuser replies on May 9, 2020:

Sometimes a rainbow is just a rainbow. 😊

Yeah, I didn't think so either. Heh.

Beowulfsfriend comments on May 9, 2020:

Thus rain is god's sperm.

zeuser replies on May 9, 2020:

Yeah, I guess in one sense.

This is the good old American ingenuity I know and love!

LucyLoohoo comments on May 9, 2020:

OK, Zeuser! Once again....I spit tea on my desk!

zeuser replies on May 9, 2020:

I'm sorry, Loo, it was too good not to post. 8-)

The Justice Department has dropped Michael Flynn’s case - Vox

zeuser comments on May 8, 2020:

I'm thinking the federal judge might have something to say about this. As I recall, he verbally said Flynn was guilty of treason.

zeuser replies on May 8, 2020:

@LucyLoohoo I know that, but from whom. I have a guess.

New face, same old crap!

zeuser comments on May 8, 2020:

You can gussy up the numbers all you want, a line of refrigerated trucks to hold overflow dead bodies is hard to wish away.

zeuser replies on May 8, 2020:

@Austin-Cambridge I go out twice a week to stock up, and I make it quick - in, get the shit, out. I'm wiping everything I bring into the house down with a bleach solution, and washing hands before and after I do that. Still good here so far. Keep safe, bro.

New face, same old crap!

zeuser comments on May 8, 2020:

You can gussy up the numbers all you want, a line of refrigerated trucks to hold overflow dead bodies is hard to wish away.

zeuser replies on May 8, 2020:

@Austin-Cambridge What is scarier is the complete lack of concern for the social commonwealth and the widespread belief that things are really just fine because the "libtard eggheads don't have no sense anyways".

“You see a lot of smart guys with dumb women, but you hardly ever see a smart woman with a dumb ...

zeuser comments on May 8, 2020:

I've know women who specifically cultivate relationships with dimwitted men. That is their MO. I'd like to see more context. Without knowing the point she is trying to make, this is a sound bite masquerading as insight. I love Ms. Jong, so I'd be inclined to give her the benefit of the doubt, but ...

zeuser replies on May 8, 2020:

@Marionville Ok, this is a commentary about relative levels of shallowness between the genders. Fair point.

[agnostic.com]

zeuser comments on May 7, 2020:

Anything past 21 for Mr. Remedial Math is a hundred, a thousand or a billion. Whatever sounds about right according to his gut at the time. Gotta trust that gut, you know? Who says there are 50 governors? CNN? That's fake news! LOL

zeuser replies on May 8, 2020:

@HumanistJohn Yeah, that sounds like something our guy would say.

THE FOUR BIGGEST DREAMS OF MEN: 1.

Athena comments on May 7, 2020:

Funny, but hmm... sadly, from what I see there are more wives who are unsuspecting of their cheating husbands than those who just imagine their husbands are.

zeuser replies on May 8, 2020:

A lot of people are in self-denial and choose not to believe what is right in front of their faces. There are also a lot of people who are pathologically suspicious and see evidence of guilt everywhere in innocent circumstances. Both men and women.

[agnostic.com]

Bierbasstard comments on May 7, 2020:

Some must be checking in from Russia. https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Governor_(Russia)

zeuser replies on May 7, 2020:

Hah! Yeah, that's gotta be it!

I was at the grocery the other day and saw a lot of this...

zeuser comments on May 7, 2020:

So, is it still ok to wear your underwear like that? Um, one of my buddies wants to know.

zeuser replies on May 7, 2020:

@Beowulfsfriend I'll tell him. LOL

Somebody posted this on my neighborhood board. I bet it was mom.

Athena comments on May 7, 2020:

I don't understand why you guys don't just sit down and tuck your wiener in the bowl for a super chill pee. 👍🙏😌

zeuser replies on May 7, 2020:

It's a lot easier to just stand and spray. But we are subject to the condition expressed in this little rhyme. You can shake it and stretch it And do a little dance But the last drop always Winds up on your pants.

Trump is on the news, talking about the coronavirus task force.

Charlene comments on May 7, 2020:

Without a doubt he comes early. May he arrive early for his funeral

zeuser replies on May 7, 2020:

@Emerald Well, if he has to go, this would be the most entertaining option. Note to self: Never piss off Emerald.

Somebody posted this on my neighborhood board. I bet it was mom.

lerlo comments on May 6, 2020:

I wish some people would check the velocity of pee when it comes out and find out that even if you pee in the middle of the bowl it still splashes out...of course that doesnt mean you can't clean up after yourself ;) ...

zeuser replies on May 6, 2020:

@lerlo "Check" can also mean stop or slow down. And that's good advice. You can tell it's good because nobody takes it. 😊

Somebody posted this on my neighborhood board. I bet it was mom.

dalefvictor comments on May 6, 2020:

Well then, it will be clean.

zeuser replies on May 6, 2020:

One of my friends grandmother used to say, " Co bedzie to bedzie, ale bedzie czyste." What will be will be, but it will be clean. Not an official Polish proverb, but close enough for me. 😊

Who knew my feet would get smaller?

HankSherman comments on May 6, 2020:

My vote for best of the morning....probably because I relate....I still remember when my penis disappeared.

zeuser replies on May 6, 2020:

Hah! Yeah, let's not get started on what happened to Mr. Happy. LOL

Yeah, we got you on tape bragging about sexual assault, dipshit. [thehill.com]

zeuser comments on May 5, 2020:

Does our pussy grabber in chief really want to have this conversation?

zeuser replies on May 5, 2020:

@JayOleck38 Yeah. Gotta get some popcorn.

Yeah, we got you on tape bragging about sexual assault, dipshit. [thehill.com]

zeuser comments on May 5, 2020:

Does our pussy grabber in chief really want to have this conversation?

zeuser replies on May 5, 2020:

@JayOleck38 So why don't they just die already?

Q: What is the difference between a yellow flower and a fop who never tells the truth?

BestWithoutGods comments on May 5, 2020:

You don't get it, @Zeuser ? One thing we need to understand is that a fop is a dandy. The other thing is that "lyin' dandy" is "dandelion" turned around. At least that's how we pronounce "dandelion" where I live. :)

zeuser replies on May 5, 2020:

Oh I get it. I was just wondering if I ought to laugh and possibly encourage you to post future humor like this. LOL Keep it up, BW, we thrive on groaners around here.

Keep chirping, buddy.

Cast1es comments on May 4, 2020:

Some of the public is almost as smart as the canary .

zeuser replies on May 4, 2020:

@Philip21 Maybe not quite like this, but I take your point.

If he actually existed:

Killtheskyfairy comments on May 3, 2020:

If he existed, probably would have resigned with Hitler or Pol Pot😱

zeuser replies on May 4, 2020:

Dick Cheyney evidently slipped under his radar.

“I, not events, have the power to make me happy or unhappy today.

Diogenes comments on May 4, 2020:

M. first of all, I want you to have a good day. I have planned to have a 'productive' day. Ya, but I have "planned" and carefully organized before, and yearned for positive results for my intense efforts! End of that discussion! Yesterday instead of talking life to death, I went on a walk in ...

zeuser replies on May 4, 2020:

@Marionville A heart attack, oh no! I hope you're on the mend, do what they tell you! My best wishes for a quick and complete recovery! <3

So the new strategy for the talking yam is to blame everything on China.

Redheadedgammy comments on May 3, 2020:

trump seems to be more talk than anything. He makes all kinds of threats then doesn’t follow through.

zeuser replies on May 3, 2020:

Like a typical bully, he is actually a coward, always punching down.

“Folks are usually as happy as they make their minds up to be”..............Abraham Lincoln.

zeuser comments on May 3, 2020:

I'm not sure you can think you are happy, you have to feel it. It's not a set of circumstances or a destination. I've always thought that happy people have no idea they are happy, they are just doing something that they enjoy or that makes them feel good. Now, I think people can convince themselves ...

zeuser replies on May 3, 2020:

@Marionville Identifying the positive aspects of any situation is a skill, and it requires frequent practice. My daughter taught me this.

“Folks are usually as happy as they make their minds up to be”..............Abraham Lincoln.

Freedompath comments on May 3, 2020:

That would be about right...but I wonder how my neighbor is so happy in her life, while making others around her, pull their hair out! She is so happy, that I ‘prepare’ myself when I visit with her! When I am caught off guard, I still try and make the best of it, as I know even the least among...

zeuser replies on May 3, 2020:

@Freedompath You are sweet to make the effort. But I understand that you can take only so much, too.

“Folks are usually as happy as they make their minds up to be”..............Abraham Lincoln.

Freedompath comments on May 3, 2020:

That would be about right...but I wonder how my neighbor is so happy in her life, while making others around her, pull their hair out! She is so happy, that I ‘prepare’ myself when I visit with her! When I am caught off guard, I still try and make the best of it, as I know even the least among...

zeuser replies on May 3, 2020:

I've know people who try to act happy all the time, even to a ridiculous bragging extent. Sometimes it covers a desperate unhappiness or emptiness.

So the new strategy for the talking yam is to blame everything on China.

Diogenes comments on May 2, 2020:

It's the fault of China, WHO, his campaign manager- and the next person that gets into his sight. When is he going to blame it on the 'little green men from Mars?' I'm sure he has talked to them already. But that would be false news; he's a stable genius.

zeuser replies on May 2, 2020:

@Diogenes It would probably be a good idea to try that theory out and see what happens. LOL

“Generally speaking, the errors in religion are dangerous; those in philosophy only ridiculous”...

Diogenes comments on May 2, 2020:

I wasn't much of a student as far as philosophy was concerned, but I found Hume had something worthwhile to say. A comparison to the logic of Hume is Sigmund Freud and apparently 'Siggy' Freud wasn't quite up to it in the reality department. He smoked 20 cigars a day and in the end, with his face...

zeuser replies on May 2, 2020:

@Diogenes To be successful, con men need willing dupes who believe what they are promised because they want it to be true.

“Generally speaking, the errors in religion are dangerous; those in philosophy only ridiculous”...

Diogenes comments on May 2, 2020:

I wasn't much of a student as far as philosophy was concerned, but I found Hume had something worthwhile to say. A comparison to the logic of Hume is Sigmund Freud and apparently 'Siggy' Freud wasn't quite up to it in the reality department. He smoked 20 cigars a day and in the end, with his face...

zeuser replies on May 2, 2020:

“Religion was invented when the first con man met the first fool.” ― Mark Twain.

So the new strategy for the talking yam is to blame everything on China.

MegBurton142 comments on May 2, 2020:

With regards to the suggestion we “punish” China, perhaps we should insert our “dependence on them for pharmaceutical components” into the equation.

zeuser replies on May 2, 2020:

That talk of punishing China is rhetoric. This administration (if that's what you want to call it) threatens but does nothing else. And if I know that, you can be sure the Chinese know it too.

So the new strategy for the talking yam is to blame everything on China.

wolf041 comments on May 2, 2020:

It always amazes me how the repubs are constantly trying to blame china for the worlds woes simply because they are efficient at making growing and selling stuff. Historically China has been the beneficiary of roughly 80 % of the worlds trade going back a few hundred years ( minus that little ...

zeuser replies on May 2, 2020:

The repubs have always needed a foreign adversary to use as an excuse to shovel money into the military. How else can you get away with buying 30,000 hammers for 320 bucks apiece? Used to be Russia, up until they bought the presidency and half the senate. The Chinese have all that American debt which would be worth a lot less if everybody decided the dollar was no longer the world's reserve currency, so that tempers their aggression. But what an easy target to hit without too much chance of military blowback, especially when combined with good old American bigotry.

So the new strategy for the talking yam is to blame everything on China.

Diogenes comments on May 2, 2020:

It's the fault of China, WHO, his campaign manager- and the next person that gets into his sight. When is he going to blame it on the 'little green men from Mars?' I'm sure he has talked to them already. But that would be false news; he's a stable genius.

zeuser replies on May 2, 2020:

Everyone knows it was Obama's fault. 🙄

So the new strategy for the talking yam is to blame everything on China.

Freedompath comments on May 1, 2020:

Senator Marsha Blackburn of Tenn, suggest we default on our loans from China, as punishment! 👿. No one should wonder why people have lost what balance that they ever had! The mean, unethical and vindictive political figures do not represent me!

zeuser replies on May 1, 2020:

Blackburn ought to serve jail time.

So the new strategy for the talking yam is to blame everything on China.

Mofo1953 comments on May 1, 2020:

Well, there's video from January where he praises China and Xi.

zeuser replies on May 1, 2020:

Yeah. That aged well.

Dear Leader's ego knows no bounds.

zeuser comments on May 1, 2020:

Hey, hey, calm down everybody! You all need to realize that if you want to pick the perfect lie to cover your yuuuuge ass, you have to try a bunch of them to see which one is the best. I have to admit, this is better than the "Obama didn't leave us tests for a virus that didn't appear until 3 years ...

zeuser replies on May 1, 2020:

@Diogenes Oh I understand he is insane. Crazier than a box full of scorpions on meth. He is running out of ideas, so nuking someone is definitely on his list. Probably California.

We need to talk......

Besalbub comments on May 1, 2020:

Now every idiot with a gun is gonna want to do this .

zeuser replies on May 1, 2020:

Every idiot with a gun already wanted to do this.

More than that!!!!!

zeuser comments on Apr 30, 2020:

You can't swing a dead cat in a room full of republicans without hitting at *least* three assholes, and probably a lot more if the cat's tail holds out.

zeuser replies on Apr 30, 2020:

@WonderWartHog99 You're doing it wrong. You need a dead cat. You'd have to be crazy to try to swing a live one, though if you managed it, a room full of republicans would be the right place. Tell Percy I didn't mean him.

Malignant Narcissism on Steroids: [rawstory.

zeuser comments on Apr 25, 2020:

I believe he's going to go completely captain Queeg before this is all over, chasing invisible bugs off of his body, yelling obscenities, sobbing helplessly, becoming belligerent, all in the same 10 minutes. I'd love to see it televised, but I think it will happen one way or the other. As far as his...

zeuser replies on Apr 29, 2020:

@BirdMan1 Yeah, that's all right with me too.

It is only prudent never to place complete confidence in that by which we have even once been ...

zeuser comments on Apr 28, 2020:

Isn't that similar to "Fool me once, shame on you, fool me twice, shame on me"?

zeuser replies on Apr 29, 2020:

@altschmerz I remember this incident. He seemed like the worst thing in the world back then. He was awful, but he looks like FDR next to our current mistake in chief.

I'd love to give one, but... .

Beowulfsfriend comments on Apr 28, 2020:

It is a gift for the frazzled mother on mother's day - note at the bottom Go-Ask-Your-Dad-Vanilla.

zeuser replies on Apr 28, 2020:

As most of the folks here know, I am not above stealing memes and repurposing them as I see fit. 😊

I'd love to give one, but... .

Merseyman1 comments on Apr 28, 2020:

I hope it's not the last!

zeuser replies on Apr 28, 2020:

It is for today. 😊