zeuser's Profile

Just lookin' around.

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Nov 20, 2021:

Unfortunately that corrupt judge got Rittehouse off but now hopefully the DOJ will have it's innings and the little prick will go to Club Fed for a very long time... Sad part is that judge will probable face no punishment for his part in all this.

zeuser replies on Nov 20, 2021:

@Lizard_of_Ahaz Yeah, they'd probably need some social justice law office to do it pro bono, or maybe get a go fund me thing going.

Pah! No candidate for soulmate. 😆

KateOahu comments on Nov 20, 2021:

Reason number 213 to not have a cat.

zeuser replies on Nov 20, 2021:

@MsKathleen I like 'em, but I and my daughter both are allergic. However, yes, a lot of cats are really just cold blooded pricks.

Pah! No candidate for soulmate. 😆

KateOahu comments on Nov 20, 2021:

Reason number 213 to not have a cat.

zeuser replies on Nov 20, 2021:

I get sort of a vague sense that you don't really like cats. ;)

Just lookin' around.

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Nov 20, 2021:

Unfortunately that corrupt judge got Rittehouse off but now hopefully the DOJ will have it's innings and the little prick will go to Club Fed for a very long time... Sad part is that judge will probable face no punishment for his part in all this.

zeuser replies on Nov 20, 2021:

I think the families can pursue this murderer for civil damages. That's not the same thing as a criminal conviction, but it would at least be a small measure of justice.

Follow me for more quick and easy recipes.

Cast1es comments on Nov 20, 2021:

Saw this on facebook .

zeuser replies on Nov 20, 2021:

Where do you think I steal most of these?

No DNA testing required here.

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Nov 19, 2021:

McTurtle makes the Clampetts look like rocket scientists...

zeuser replies on Nov 19, 2021:

The Clampetts were never stupid, just unsophisticated. They were smart enough not to consort with the Russians and suck Trump's dick.

Well, we addressed this particular deadbeat problem. For now.

RobertNappi2 comments on Nov 19, 2021:

I'm so grateful this POS is gone!!!

zeuser replies on Nov 19, 2021:

He ain't gone, but he ain't in the white house either. Good first step. Next step ought to be Leavenworth.

Glenn Kirschner - Steve Bannon's Ridiculous Court Performance Exposed [youtube.com]

zeuser comments on Nov 18, 2021:

Proof positive you don't need to be smart or look good to be a wildly successful criminal racist traitor. He plays to his audience, and among that mangy disgusting pack of prolapsed assholes, his star burns the brightest. Dickwad.

zeuser replies on Nov 18, 2021:

@LucyLoohoo That could certainly be part of the otherwise unfathomable reason.

Could be funny at pet store

zeuser comments on Nov 18, 2021:

I call bullshit. Real hamsters are gluten free.

zeuser replies on Nov 18, 2021:

@bobwjr Good point.

You can't tell just by looking..

tinkercreek comments on Nov 17, 2021:

Tsk, tsk, men and their secrets.

zeuser replies on Nov 18, 2021:

Hey, he came right out and admitted it, right?

That rascal. What's a mother to do?

St-Sinner comments on Nov 17, 2021:

He was caught with Mary Magdalene doing nothing

zeuser replies on Nov 17, 2021:

Are you sure about that? 😜

Any takers?

zeuser comments on Nov 16, 2021:

Awww.

zeuser replies on Nov 16, 2021:

The hart wants what it wants. I'm slipping, that obvious pun eluded me til just now.

Owning the antediluvian libtards.

Diogenes comments on Nov 16, 2021:

... and it rained for 40 days and 40 nights and covered the whole flat-world. How did they know this?

zeuser replies on Nov 16, 2021:

When you just make shit up, anything becomes possible.

I posted this several years ago on Facebook. It has aged quite well

DenoPenno comments on Nov 16, 2021:

I recall a relative telling me Ted Nugent was "woke" but I'm not. Ridiculous, and so is that relative.

zeuser replies on Nov 16, 2021:

Can one be both woke and brain dead simultaneously?

I found it never hurts to state the obvious.

dalefvictor comments on Nov 15, 2021:

Are you supposed to park under the sign?

zeuser replies on Nov 16, 2021:

Only if you want to get hammered.

“Think for yourself, or others will think for you without thinking of you.

zeuser comments on Nov 14, 2021:

When two people agree on everything, you can be sure that one of them is doing all of the thinking.

zeuser replies on Nov 14, 2021:

@Buttercup Good point.

I posted this several years ago on Facebook. It has aged quite well

phxbillcee comments on Nov 14, 2021:

& I'll bet they both have shitty drawers...

zeuser replies on Nov 14, 2021:

Trump is known to wear diapers. All that adderall makes your intestines run like Usain Bolt.

This! This is what we all need!

Beowulfsfriend comments on Nov 12, 2021:

How about, "The Four Gospels, as Read by the Original Members of Kiss." Anything for a buck - I saw you can now get a Kiss Kasket for eternity.

zeuser replies on Nov 12, 2021:

I wanna be cremated. Are there any Kiss Ashtrays? I bet they're cheaper.

We all thought Reagan was an anomaly.

OldGoat43 comments on Nov 11, 2021:

They now view their "fans" as a base for political power. It seems to be the beginning of a new phase of glory for the "Ignorant Americans".

zeuser replies on Nov 11, 2021:

Hell, just make the whole government a reality show and have elimination contests for policies, kind of like Survivor.

And put the fire in my burning hair out with a ball-peen hammer.

Canndue comments on Nov 11, 2021:

Hmmm…talking in tongues…..is that just practice?

zeuser replies on Nov 11, 2021:

Could be.

And put the fire in my burning hair out with a ball-peen hammer.

bobwjr comments on Nov 11, 2021:

Unless it's a pagan church with dancing naked service

zeuser replies on Nov 11, 2021:

Yeah, ok, I'm down for that too. LOL

We all thought Reagan was an anomaly.

HippieChick58 comments on Nov 11, 2021:

I just don't see this as being a good thing. Ronnie should have proved to us that celebrities have name power, but they don't make good leaders.

zeuser replies on Nov 11, 2021:

Media exposure is free advertising. Politicians, actual politicians, spend tons of money on advertising and media purchases. These celebs have a running head start with name recognition already in place. I'm surprised it has taken this long to really get rolling.

Beat-boxing Pontiff.

zeuser comments on Nov 11, 2021:

Plus all the altar boys think he's rad.

zeuser replies on Nov 11, 2021:

@BD66 I know, right? LOL

Sad to say………It’s happening……very slowly but surely.

zeuser comments on Nov 10, 2021:

Yeah, I think you're right. I heard Howard Stern is thinking of primarying Trump. Just what we need, one more has been celebrity with no verbal filter throwing his hat in the ring.

zeuser replies on Nov 11, 2021:

@CuddyCruiser I'd vote for Eddie Murphy, though. LOL

Give yourself one point for each one that applies to you.

Sticks48 comments on Nov 10, 2021:

I LOVE BLACK COFFEE!!!! You left off main lining.

zeuser replies on Nov 10, 2021:

Well, I stole the meme, so don't blame me. LOL

Give yourself one point for each one that applies to you.

KateOahu comments on Nov 10, 2021:

I hate coffee…unless it tastes like ice cream, so there is really no point.

zeuser replies on Nov 10, 2021:

To each their own. I drink one cup a day. I grind my own beans and use a French press. It's good, IMHO. I don't go over the top like the things in the post. That's just meant to be funny.

When they tell you god is real....

zeuser comments on Nov 9, 2021:

Um, that's blasphemy!

zeuser replies on Nov 9, 2021:

@Lizard_of_Ahaz No, not seriously. This, however, would be a probable response from the brainwashed true believers.

I bet nobody warned then about this part of the gig until it was too late.

AnonySchmoose comments on Nov 9, 2021:

Lincoln was 6'4", Roosevelt 5'10", Jefferson 6'2", Washington 6'2". Roosevelt is too big.

zeuser replies on Nov 9, 2021:

You seem to know a lot about how tall the presidents were. Comes in handy debunking a gag like this one. :)

Ladies and gentlemen, Elvis has left the screen....

KateOahu comments on Nov 8, 2021:

I’m impressed.

zeuser replies on Nov 8, 2021:

I didn't etch these, if that's what you're thinking. I could've done the last one, but that's it.

The greatest omission in life is to risk nothing.

JackPedigo comments on Nov 8, 2021:

Some would advocate one has to step outside their comfort zone in order to evolve.

zeuser replies on Nov 8, 2021:

@LenHazell53 Sometimes, you are forced out of your environment: job change or loss, relationship changes, your protector or your dependent dies or goes out of business, illness or infirmity, imminent threat, you get the idea.

The greatest omission in life is to risk nothing.

JackPedigo comments on Nov 8, 2021:

Some would advocate one has to step outside their comfort zone in order to evolve.

zeuser replies on Nov 8, 2021:

Now that is true. That has been my experience.

I can see this this happening.

Theresa_N comments on Nov 8, 2021:

Sometimes I feel really stupid, but I did not get it.

zeuser replies on Nov 8, 2021:

Bean gave Einstein a question even he didn't know the answer to, but it only cost him 5 bucks whilst the genius Einstein had to cough up 500 bucks.

I bet he WISHES he said some of these.

racocn8 comments on Nov 7, 2021:

If you can't be kind, at least have the decency to be vague. A penny saved is a government oversight. The easiest way to find something lost around the house is to buy a replacement. He who hesitates is probably right. If you can smile when things go wrong, you have someone in mind to blame....

zeuser replies on Nov 7, 2021:

Really, this deserves its own post. Good material.

I bet he WISHES he said some of these.

waitingforgodo comments on Nov 7, 2021:

Confucian: it's such a terrible shame Confucian: to know that he is to blame https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1jUvhJ_Tgzw

zeuser replies on Nov 7, 2021:

This comment is a pretty good pun, a little bit of a stretch, but I'll allow it. ;)

I bet he WISHES he said some of these.

AnonySchmoose comments on Nov 7, 2021:

lol... Why not sprinkle these throughout the Analects?

zeuser replies on Nov 7, 2021:

The fortune cookie people probably have the rights sewed up. 😜

I bet he WISHES he said some of these.

Willow_Wisp comments on Nov 7, 2021:

Confucius is the bases of modern comedy, and there are historians that claim the guy never existed. The top person misquoted on the Internet is Buddha, and placing a close second is Einstein. Jesus would be number three but everyone has a Bible so they don't try to put words into his mouth they ...

zeuser replies on Nov 7, 2021:

Well, I don't think anyone actually thinks Confucius said any of those things in the post. Think of it as if Confucius had a modern writer composing his sayings. :) As far as misinterpreting biblical prose, well shit, that's been going on for centuries.

You need to think about this one for a minute.

KateOahu comments on Nov 6, 2021:

Not even ten seconds...

zeuser replies on Nov 6, 2021:

That's good!

Groucho nails it one more time.

St-Sinner comments on Nov 3, 2021:

Ha.. Ha.. correct. But he maybe worth something in China with his in-laws because what influence they can wield on the US Senate.

zeuser replies on Nov 3, 2021:

@St-Sinner I'll answer that one. She knows Mitch. Cash flow is cash flow, a buck is a buck.

It is well-packed

zeuser comments on Nov 3, 2021:

Betcha can't eat just one.

zeuser replies on Nov 3, 2021:

@St-Sinner it's more of a challenge.

Understanding the Trumpanzee……..

zeuser comments on Nov 2, 2021:

The Q guys are gathering in Dallas thinking JFK Jr will show up alive and offer to be Trump's running mate. No, really. https://www.rawstory.com/qanon-jfk-jr/

zeuser replies on Nov 2, 2021:

@silverotter11 No, I believe you. That rings a bell.

How to tell when the owner is a cheapskate that you don't want to work for...

St-Sinner comments on Nov 2, 2021:

Lol..... Correct. There is a labor shortage, especially of patient severs.

zeuser replies on Nov 2, 2021:

@Lizard_of_Ahaz I think the recognition that you *could* work from home, and that you *always could have been* working from home was the trigger.

How to tell when the owner is a cheapskate that you don't want to work for...

St-Sinner comments on Nov 2, 2021:

Lol..... Correct. There is a labor shortage, especially of patient severs.

zeuser replies on Nov 2, 2021:

@Lizard_of_Ahaz That is exactly what a lot of them are doing. It's not a shortage. It's an epiphany that has turned into a tidal wave.

How to tell when the owner is a cheapskate that you don't want to work for...

St-Sinner comments on Nov 2, 2021:

Lol..... Correct. There is a labor shortage, especially of patient severs.

zeuser replies on Nov 2, 2021:

That's a myth. There are a lot of patient servers, just not a lot of those willing to work for crap wages only to have customers shit all over them.

Understanding the Trumpanzee……..

zeuser comments on Nov 2, 2021:

The Q guys are gathering in Dallas thinking JFK Jr will show up alive and offer to be Trump's running mate. No, really. https://www.rawstory.com/qanon-jfk-jr/

zeuser replies on Nov 2, 2021:

@silverotter11 No! She'll be dead, but you'll be in the hoosegow, over *this shit*. LOL

Ok, ok, one more Halloween-themed gag.

HankSherman comments on Nov 1, 2021:

Clearly the counselor did not know his clients.

zeuser replies on Nov 1, 2021:

Yeah, and it's no reflection on them.

I generally don't post just text. But I did laugh at this one. Who would want to do this?

Pralina1 comments on Oct 30, 2021:

I have pre paid for my cremation as I don’t have any family in usa . My directions are for my jar to travel to Milan and to my sisters house ( my best friend in life 🙌) . I want my friend Cleo to spread my ashes in my sisters living room . So she has to clean after me one more time ...

zeuser replies on Oct 30, 2021:

Sounds like you've got a handle on it. 😁

The confluence of technology, religion, and marketing, all evident in one aggressively useless ...

AnonySchmoose comments on Oct 29, 2021:

Agressively useless white bread too.

zeuser replies on Oct 29, 2021:

@AnonySchmoose Bingo.

The confluence of technology, religion, and marketing, all evident in one aggressively useless ...

AnonySchmoose comments on Oct 29, 2021:

Agressively useless white bread too.

zeuser replies on Oct 29, 2021:

That's what the market for this product eats.

Up to you to put it together.

AnonySchmoose comments on Oct 28, 2021:

Doesn't mailing stool samples smack of fetishism? They never ask about one's diet, yet want stools. Am ticked off by lack of nutrition-based ANAL-ysis, so won't let them weigh me anymore in protest.

zeuser replies on Oct 29, 2021:

@AnonySchmoose I chuckled. LOL

Up to you to put it together.

AnonySchmoose comments on Oct 28, 2021:

Doesn't mailing stool samples smack of fetishism? They never ask about one's diet, yet want stools. Am ticked off by lack of nutrition-based ANAL-ysis, so won't let them weigh me anymore in protest.

zeuser replies on Oct 29, 2021:

@AnonySchmoose Now there is a question for the ages.

The confluence of technology, religion, and marketing, all evident in one aggressively useless ...

Beowulfsfriend comments on Oct 29, 2021:

How about one that does Mohammed?

zeuser replies on Oct 29, 2021:

Spinoffs are a good idea, but you're not supposed to make images of Mohammed. And you will notice that nobody sees him on a piece of toast, because they don't know what the asshole looks like.

Up to you to put it together.

AnonySchmoose comments on Oct 28, 2021:

Doesn't mailing stool samples smack of fetishism? They never ask about one's diet, yet want stools. Am ticked off by lack of nutrition-based ANAL-ysis, so won't let them weigh me anymore in protest.

zeuser replies on Oct 29, 2021:

Well, I guess you have to do SOMEthing with all that integrity. ;)

Up to you to put it together.

Canndue comments on Oct 28, 2021:

That’s some crazy ass diet they are on…..

zeuser replies on Oct 29, 2021:

High fiber, at least.

Which mask would you choose?

zeuser comments on Oct 28, 2021:

Vaxed and masked for your protection. Simple, true, not confrontational.

zeuser replies on Oct 28, 2021:

@Buck One person's boredom is another person's civility.

And why are they allowed to do it?....

zeuser comments on Oct 27, 2021:

Classic mistake, mixing logic and desperation. Only desperation prevails.

zeuser replies on Oct 27, 2021:

@Lizard_of_Ahaz Faux logic. What sounds like logic to them, but is just horseshit. The smell of desperation and the need to at least think they sound like it makes sense.

The clock is ticking down on Trump and his band of traitors, all they can do is try their best to ...

Sierra4 comments on Oct 27, 2021:

A lifetime of lying and cheating and what were the consequences? He was elected president of the U.S. I hope I am wrong, but I don’t think he will face any consequences this time. Some of his minions might, but not him.

zeuser replies on Oct 27, 2021:

@CuddyCruiser The dems are like Vito Corleone. We need a wartime consigliere. We're stuck with Tom Hagen/Merrick Garland.

Even capitalists have their limits.

KateOahu comments on Oct 27, 2021:

I doubt it.

zeuser replies on Oct 27, 2021:

I guess these guys in the cartoon were willing to do it for the money.

Even capitalists have their limits.

Beowulfsfriend comments on Oct 27, 2021:

Two equal heads never works. During WWII, the NFL, trying to survive without enough players, did some weird stuff like unite the Pittsburgh and Philadelphia teams, the Steagles. They kept both head coaches as head coach - they disbanded during the season.

zeuser replies on Oct 27, 2021:

Every merger I've been through, my job was eliminated. I'm not that crazy about them, although now, as a retiree, I don't give a fuck.

The clock is ticking down on Trump and his band of traitors, all they can do is try their best to ...

Sierra4 comments on Oct 27, 2021:

A lifetime of lying and cheating and what were the consequences? He was elected president of the U.S. I hope I am wrong, but I don’t think he will face any consequences this time. Some of his minions might, but not him.

zeuser replies on Oct 27, 2021:

I've always maintained that the only justice he will ever possibly receive will be at the hands of a mob.

People in the UK and Australia would understand about the Phantom, the Bandar pygmies, the Skull ...

zeuser comments on Oct 26, 2021:

Hell yeah I remember the phantom! We had him here in the states too. Oh lordy, it's been decades since I saw a phantom comic!

zeuser replies on Oct 26, 2021:

@St-Sinner Well, like I said, I haven't seen a phantom comic in maybe 40 years. It was very campy, there was a lot of "old jungle saying" things about the phantom. Old jungle saying: the phantom has a thousand eyes and a thousand ears; when phantom moves, time stands still; the phantom can be at many places at once. Like that.

"It is no longer who reaches the highest, but the one who, influenced by the beauty that surrounds ...

zeuser comments on Oct 26, 2021:

I can go along with this. Intense feelings can set you back a step or two. Worth the risk, IMO.

zeuser replies on Oct 26, 2021:

@AnonySchmoose Fortune favors the bold, easy come easy go, you can't win if you don't play, but you can't lose either. ;)

Yes, yes, split the base more!

zeuser comments on Oct 24, 2021:

I dunno. The basic idea of marketing is "any publicity is good publicity, even bad publicity". What does this message sell, and to whom?

zeuser replies on Oct 24, 2021:

@OldMetalHead Yeah, I saw that too. These things are a lot of distractions from the real play that is being made.

Can you spot the difference?

racocn8 comments on Oct 24, 2021:

A pear that looks like an ass? !!! I've yet to see a tattoo that improved the view. Mostly they shout I have no idea what to do with my time, and I'm vain and insecure.

zeuser replies on Oct 24, 2021:

Geez, it's a tramp stamp, Rac.

So, you steal money from your charity, you steal work from the people you stiff, what do you do to ...

LucyLoohoo comments on Oct 24, 2021:

Why are we not surprised? Instead of "TRUTH".....just name it for his favorite qualities..."LIE, CHEAT, STEAL."

zeuser replies on Oct 24, 2021:

I prefer the original Russian version, Pravda.

Anyone wanna come with me to this?

NHjulie comments on Oct 22, 2021:

Dang, you almost had me and then I got to the grammatical error. I just can't take a wet yoga class from someone who makes silly errors. I'm out.