zeuser's Profile

Calvin was ahead of his time here. Unfortunately. [gocomics.com]

HankSherman comments on Feb 9, 2022:

Nah....its always been that way. Some will and some won't, some can and some can't, and some can, and wiil, but just not now.

zeuser replies on Feb 9, 2022:

I need to diagram that. I'll get back to you.

Take your time.

MichelleGar1 comments on Feb 9, 2022:

Hmmm https://youtu.be/HkFc7Uk6Hx0

zeuser replies on Feb 9, 2022:

@MichelleGar1 Ok, the judges will accept that. LOL

Take your time.

KateOahu comments on Feb 9, 2022:

I think we’ve beaten that one to death already.

zeuser replies on Feb 9, 2022:

I KNEW that's what you were thinking. ;)

Take your time.

MichelleGar1 comments on Feb 9, 2022:

Hmmm https://youtu.be/HkFc7Uk6Hx0

zeuser replies on Feb 9, 2022:

No, that's not it. A very good guess, though. ;)

Take your time.

racocn8 comments on Feb 9, 2022:

Three of hearts.

zeuser replies on Feb 9, 2022:

*winks* shhhhh

Take your time.

Sierra4 comments on Feb 9, 2022:

Someone asked this question last week on here. I am not going into it again.

zeuser replies on Feb 9, 2022:

Fair enough.

Take your time.

Canndue comments on Feb 9, 2022:

Yes, definitely, specially when you…..oops sorry, forgot you wanted it telepathic…when you…………..

zeuser replies on Feb 9, 2022:

*Thinks a response. *

Take your time.

St-Sinner comments on Feb 9, 2022:

How much time?

zeuser replies on Feb 9, 2022:

*Thinks of how much time.*

Some Monday morning observations on the unique American condition.

tioteo comments on Feb 9, 2022:

10 Q

zeuser replies on Feb 9, 2022:

Give me a hint.

“Worry does not empty tomorrow of its sorrow, it empties today of its strength” ...

zeuser comments on Feb 8, 2022:

At some point, we each have to make peace with the fact that we cannot plan for every eventuality, that no matter what we do, something unexpected will occur. Having the self-confidence to deal with things like this because we've successfully done it before and can probably do so again eliminates a ...

zeuser replies on Feb 8, 2022:

@Marionville People can change. I worry a LOT less than I used to as a younger man. Most of it is just life experience. But I take your point that it is just in the DNA for many people.

Not about Trump per se, but a clean response to the policies he inspired in one of our newer state ...

Redheadedgammy comments on Feb 7, 2022:

Oh this is fantastic! I hope more people put that stupid man in his place! 😉

zeuser replies on Feb 7, 2022:

@Redheadedgammy We're trying. The immigration stream has turned the state a legitimate purple, but we have a ways to go. The down east vote is straight ticket klan.

Comparative educational achievements.

Redheadedgammy comments on Feb 7, 2022:

It’s so fun to point out how stupid trump is!!

zeuser replies on Feb 7, 2022:

@glennlab Glenn, you have to ask??

Comparative educational achievements.

glennlab comments on Feb 7, 2022:

We only have his word that he could, and we know how good his word is.

zeuser replies on Feb 7, 2022:

They gave him a hint "It's the republican mascot!" His first guess was "Nixon?", but they gave him a second chance telling him, "It's not the donkey, it's the ellll.."

Not about Trump per se, but a clean response to the policies he inspired in one of our newer state ...

Redheadedgammy comments on Feb 7, 2022:

Oh this is fantastic! I hope more people put that stupid man in his place! 😉

zeuser replies on Feb 7, 2022:

He seems to be an incredible douche bag - reminds me of our old NC governor Pat "Bathroom Bill" McCrory. Good hair, folksy, fake smile, complete slobbering wingnut between the sheets. Pat is running for the senate here, the morbidly obese Don has endorsed someone else, even more disgusting than Pat if you can imagine. We got rid of Pat by electing a dem, I hope Virginians are paying attention.

Not about Trump per se, but a clean response to the policies he inspired in one of our newer state ...

MichelleGar1 comments on Feb 7, 2022:

Metalhead222 told me when he was in grade school, they separated the white kid's from the black and brown kid's, this was back in the 80's! Virginia has all kinds of problems with racism. His neighbor, who I befriended, she's from Oaxaca, Mexico and doesn't speak English. She told me that someone...

zeuser replies on Feb 7, 2022:

I reeeeeally hate shit like that.

I'd add trump to the mix for good measure

zeuser comments on Feb 7, 2022:

Well, any response related to MTG requires a trigger warning. Heh, get it? Seriously though, I use an old crude method here to come to a conclusion, so you might want to skip. . . . . . . . Hmmm, using the time-honored metric of who gives the best blowjob, Trump, Moscow Mitch, and ...

zeuser replies on Feb 7, 2022:

@silverotter11 Ouch. You have to take risks for comedy. I guess I, uh, BLEW, that one. ;)

This seems accurate.

zeuser comments on Feb 7, 2022:

Too true. You have to give up a LOT in ANY relationship. The longer you fly solo, the more irritating it is to fly with a co-pilot second-guessing your navigation.

zeuser replies on Feb 7, 2022:

@Canndue Well, yeah, LITERAL swords are cool. It's the metaphorical ones, the ones with two edges, that I don't like. LOL

Some Monday morning observations on the unique American condition.

Beowulfsfriend comments on Feb 7, 2022:

Costly mousetrap. Most farmers poured beer into a galvanized tub and ran a ramp up to it. The mice fell in and drowned.

zeuser replies on Feb 7, 2022:

This was a patent application, and I bet whoever came up woith it didn't sell a lot of traps like this for the reasons you said. Still, this is how a big chunk of Americans think, even moreso nowdays. There is the perception that unthinking force conveys an image of strength, especially amongst men. It's horseshit. But, ya know, it's OUR horseshit. *sigh*

Some Monday morning observations on the unique American condition.

Canndue comments on Feb 7, 2022:

So on point, the book pusher is great

zeuser replies on Feb 7, 2022:

@Canndue It says we have, as a society, underfunded public education and privatized the funding of collegiate education to the point where the ignorant and the willfully ignorant can proclaim, with impunity, that their ignorance should be what guides any further public education.

This seems accurate.

zeuser comments on Feb 7, 2022:

Too true. You have to give up a LOT in ANY relationship. The longer you fly solo, the more irritating it is to fly with a co-pilot second-guessing your navigation.

zeuser replies on Feb 7, 2022:

@Canndue Yeah, and I am not really a big fan of swords.

Some Monday morning observations on the unique American condition.

Canndue comments on Feb 7, 2022:

So on point, the book pusher is great

zeuser replies on Feb 7, 2022:

Yeah, I know. Sad, right? Yet, here we are.

Poor R2D2! 😂😂😂😂

zeuser comments on Feb 6, 2022:

Trying to picture a toaster banging a trash can.

zeuser replies on Feb 6, 2022:

@MichelleGar1 Something to watch if you're toasted, I guess.

The men have been MAAD for a long time!

zeuser comments on Feb 6, 2022:

GPS makes direction challenged dudes cocky.

zeuser replies on Feb 6, 2022:

@Canndue Depends on the map and whether I am driving at the time. Listening to the GPS is a lot easier.

Some artistic humor for you soulless heathens, LOL

HankSherman comments on Feb 6, 2022:

Art is in the mind of the beholder.

zeuser replies on Feb 6, 2022:

Or in Vinnie's case, in the ear.

Some artistic humor for you soulless heathens, LOL

KateOahu comments on Feb 5, 2022:

I knew you could be arty if you wanted to…

zeuser replies on Feb 6, 2022:

It's almost always an accident. ;)

Some artistic humor for you soulless heathens, LOL

Moravian comments on Feb 5, 2022:

Doesn't really work with the proper the proper pronunciation which is is" Van Hoch".

zeuser replies on Feb 5, 2022:

@Moravian I guess I better stay away from Amsterdam, then.

Some artistic humor for you soulless heathens, LOL

Moravian comments on Feb 5, 2022:

Doesn't really work with the proper the proper pronunciation which is is" Van Hoch".

zeuser replies on Feb 5, 2022:

Whenever I tell a joke, there's always that one guy.

Some artistic humor for you soulless heathens, LOL

AnonySchmoose comments on Feb 5, 2022:

Automatic transmission types might get confused.

zeuser replies on Feb 5, 2022:

They are just going to have to shift gears and try to engage in this kind of automotive humor, pop their clutches as it were.

Some poetry for the denizens of pinata-ville about one of our all-time favorites...

HippieChick58 comments on Feb 5, 2022:

Love it!! Truly an inspired and inspiring piece of work.

zeuser replies on Feb 5, 2022:

And it rhymes!

“Flirting is a promise of sexual intercourse without a guarantee”…………Milan Kundera.

zeuser comments on Feb 5, 2022:

A fair portion of the flirting I've seen directed my way is to get me to pay for drinks. To be fair, I flirt with female bartenders to get a good pour.

zeuser replies on Feb 5, 2022:

@Marionville I seem to get by with it all right. Heh.

And a damn pretty one too (lol)!

silverotter11 comments on Feb 5, 2022:

So, now I have that tune in my head for the rest of the night🤣🥰🤣.

zeuser replies on Feb 5, 2022:

This time you have a goat to kick around with the song.

So Mike Pence has finally turned on his former boss, Trumpty Dumpty: [bbc.

zeuser comments on Feb 4, 2022:

I think he didn't have any choice. Now watch as he waits maybe a day, maybe two, before he debases himself and apologizes to La Cheeto Grande, or does some other sort of humiliating groveling.

zeuser replies on Feb 5, 2022:

@AnneWimsey Mmmm, or a Lindsey, or a McCarthy. The list goes on.

“It’s a dog eat dog world, and I’m wearing Milkbone underwear.” Norman(Norm) Peterson

AnonySchmoose comments on Feb 4, 2022:

Am wondering exactly what that will achieve.

zeuser replies on Feb 4, 2022:

@AnonySchmoose And it's not as messy as pork chop underwear. LOL

“It’s a dog eat dog world, and I’m wearing Milkbone underwear.” Norman(Norm) Peterson

AnonySchmoose comments on Feb 4, 2022:

Am wondering exactly what that will achieve.

zeuser replies on Feb 4, 2022:

A cheap laugh? It's joke, after all.

The gentleman deserves attention

zeuser comments on Feb 4, 2022:

Clean yer ears out, Randy.

zeuser replies on Feb 4, 2022:

@St-Sinner If he wants to stand around and parse sentences, I'll let him and steal the girl.

When you come home from a long day at work! Lol

zeuser comments on Feb 4, 2022:

I'm familiar with that tactic, with both dogs and kids. LOL

zeuser replies on Feb 4, 2022:

@MichelleGar1 That's a key reason to have dogs. None of my farts were ever mine, I always blamed the pup. LOL

Important tips for you nuns out there. 😜

JackPedigo comments on Feb 2, 2022:

On a visit to Venice I had to do a double take at a calendar of young, sexy looking priests. Think I'm kidding https://youtu.be/n_2oC8hirRk

zeuser replies on Feb 4, 2022:

Yes, the audience is in fact centered in the talent pool.

This is a VERY old joke.

HankSherman comments on Feb 3, 2022:

It is amazing.......it is still alive....

zeuser replies on Feb 3, 2022:

The classic never get old, and they never die.

How cold is it where you are, It is this cold in Texas

Lauren comments on Feb 3, 2022:

Has anyone seen 'ol Ted lately?

zeuser replies on Feb 3, 2022:

Good chance he is doing something wrong, and if he gets caught he'll blame his daughters. Again.

January 6 committee member says Trump 'absolutely' tampering with witnesses By Chandelis Duster, ...

zeuser comments on Feb 2, 2022:

I am so fucking sick of this criminal openly committing racketeering and obstruction of justice in broad goddamn daylight and rubbing everybody's noses in the fact that he hasn't been held liable for ANYTHING! Gawd DAMMIT it infuriates me!

zeuser replies on Feb 3, 2022:

@silverotter11 Yes, I have had to walk away from a number of former friends myself. The jarring thing is they were like that all along until the psychopath gave them permission to be openly awful.

Important tips for you nuns out there. 😜

Mooolah comments on Feb 2, 2022:

As a mixologist in the gay community during the '70s & 8os, I could tell you some stories that at one time would be shocking but currently, is a fetish on some porn sites....a friend told me. Without appearing bigoted, Catholics have issues.

zeuser replies on Feb 2, 2022:

Ya think?

This is a VERY old joke.

JackPedigo comments on Feb 2, 2022:

A groaner so now I can see why the 'joke' is not well known.

zeuser replies on Feb 2, 2022:

@JackPedigo I'm thinking something that involves boners, but I have to work through the idea a bit first. LOL

This is a VERY old joke.

JackPedigo comments on Feb 2, 2022:

A groaner so now I can see why the 'joke' is not well known.

zeuser replies on Feb 2, 2022:

@JackPedigo Aww, don't worry. Your puns are bad too. ;)

Oh those goofy christers....

phxbillcee comments on Feb 2, 2022:

Is that Marjorie Taylor Greene's sister?

zeuser replies on Feb 2, 2022:

@anglophone There is a resemblance, you can't miss it.

This is a VERY old joke.

JackPedigo comments on Feb 2, 2022:

A groaner so now I can see why the 'joke' is not well known.

zeuser replies on Feb 2, 2022:

You're just jealous! LOL

This is a VERY old joke.

LucyLoohoo comments on Feb 2, 2022:

The very next day, a man named Zeuser was given the job but, before he could even attempt it, he was arrested and put to death for PUBLIC PUNISHMENT! :-)

zeuser replies on Feb 2, 2022:

Well. That's a little harsh.

Oh those goofy christers....

Tejas comments on Feb 2, 2022:

Admit it, you'd still do her

zeuser replies on Feb 2, 2022:

Wouldn't be the first horse-faced girl I saddled up. I'd need to find my spurs first.

It helps if you open the window before cutting loose.

MichelleGar1 comments on Feb 1, 2022:

Liked the last one best! Lol

zeuser replies on Feb 1, 2022:

It's worth a try, I guess.

This might be the result of a different president's folly.

zeuser comments on Jan 31, 2022:

I remember when Reagan did that. He snapped his fingers and then, almost by dark Ayn Randian magic, we had a national homeless problem, which got worse and worse as income disparity grew. Now we have these mass gatherings of drool machines with brushburns on their knuckles, expressing their ...

zeuser replies on Feb 1, 2022:

@LucyLoohoo I just talked to one of my buddies who lives in Long Beach. it's worse than ever.

“The vagaries of love with all its unpredictable and capricious meanders may be a hurdle in ...

zeuser comments on Feb 1, 2022:

When you fall in love, you toss away any hope for life on an even keel - that's not the way love works. The upside can be very good, almost rapturous. The downside can be very bad, unrequited, betrayed, or manipulated. Personally, I lean towards taking the risk in search of the reward. There's ...

zeuser replies on Feb 1, 2022:

@Marionville Some people, regardless of their feelings, turn their backs on love. It's one of the saddest things. You are correct, you cannot control how you feel, only what you do.

I'm assuming the dearly departed here was a Trumper considering his anti vax stance, his apparent ...

zeuser comments on Jan 31, 2022:

I always feel bad when someone dies because they are stubborn. This guy did what he did and he paid the price, no doubt. I hope he didn't infect too many people, too bad for his family. But, of course, he did this to himself.

zeuser replies on Feb 1, 2022:

@Redheadedgammy Being stubborn is a difficult thing to overcome. It causes more than just this type of vaccination reluctance. A lot of our interpersonal conflicts have stubbornness as a cause, the irrational insistence that one is correct regardless of what is objectively true. In the end, yeah you're right, it is quite selfish. It's no more than ego and arrogance. And in cases of vaccination reluctance, it can be fatal.

"To bear up under loss, to fight the bitterness of defeat and the weakness of grief, to be victor ...

mcgeo52 comments on Jan 31, 2022:

Not bad for somebody who wrote Westerns.

zeuser replies on Jan 31, 2022:

Even a blind squirrel finds an acorn every so often.

I know the feeling, little Echo.

Canndue comments on Jan 31, 2022:

Does anyone like their recorded voice?

zeuser replies on Jan 31, 2022:

You can program my google dot with a very sexy Australian female voice. The drawback is that when you ask for the temperature, you get it in centigrade.

I've got an English muffin pixie with the most delightful accent.

KateOahu comments on Jan 31, 2022:

I had a problem with the local (Kroger outlet) market always giving me their hundred dollar bills for my $100 cash back, so I started putting in $99 instead. They weren’t happy, so they started charging for cash back. So I quit shopping there.

zeuser replies on Jan 31, 2022:

Fight the power, Ms K. 😉

How well ( or not ) adjusted are you?

zeuser comments on Jan 29, 2022:

I never looked at it that way. Thanks.

zeuser replies on Jan 29, 2022:

@AnonySchmoose That is a journey that I have not yet undertaken. Maybe I need to. Sounds hard.

How well ( or not ) adjusted are you?

zeuser comments on Jan 29, 2022:

I never looked at it that way. Thanks.

zeuser replies on Jan 29, 2022:

@AnonySchmoose Lots of times (IMO) evil is the last resort of weak people who project it thinking that it projects strength. It is a weak persons idea of what it means to be strong. It doesn't mean the individual is evil, but the effect is more important than the intent - if you do evil, even if you aren't, what's the difference?

Life is a struggle.

SnowyOwl comments on Jan 29, 2022:

I've always been of the belief that the man should always sleep on the side of the bed that is nearest the door, just in case there is a threat that needs to be dealt with before it gets any where near my wife, That may seem old fashioned but as luck would have it, the urinal is also nearest to ...

zeuser replies on Jan 29, 2022:

@SnowyOwl Oooo, I've been there. Part of the reason I snooze solo now.

Life is a struggle.

SnowyOwl comments on Jan 29, 2022:

I've always been of the belief that the man should always sleep on the side of the bed that is nearest the door, just in case there is a threat that needs to be dealt with before it gets any where near my wife, That may seem old fashioned but as luck would have it, the urinal is also nearest to ...

zeuser replies on Jan 29, 2022:

@SnowyOwl And yeah, I do sleep alone. WTF, ya know?

Life is a struggle.

SnowyOwl comments on Jan 29, 2022:

I've always been of the belief that the man should always sleep on the side of the bed that is nearest the door, just in case there is a threat that needs to be dealt with before it gets any where near my wife, That may seem old fashioned but as luck would have it, the urinal is also nearest to ...

zeuser replies on Jan 29, 2022:

@SnowyOwl I know, I make the same mistake myself. Sorry if I implied anything derogatory.;)

Life is a struggle.

SnowyOwl comments on Jan 29, 2022:

I've always been of the belief that the man should always sleep on the side of the bed that is nearest the door, just in case there is a threat that needs to be dealt with before it gets any where near my wife, That may seem old fashioned but as luck would have it, the urinal is also nearest to ...

zeuser replies on Jan 29, 2022:

@SnowyOwl Hey! That WAS nice! I'm a piss hero too! LOL

Life is a struggle.

SnowyOwl comments on Jan 29, 2022:

I've always been of the belief that the man should always sleep on the side of the bed that is nearest the door, just in case there is a threat that needs to be dealt with before it gets any where near my wife, That may seem old fashioned but as luck would have it, the urinal is also nearest to ...

zeuser replies on Jan 29, 2022:

Impressive. You are a piss hero. LOL

How well ( or not ) adjusted are you?

zeuser comments on Jan 29, 2022:

I never looked at it that way. Thanks.

zeuser replies on Jan 29, 2022:

@AnonySchmoose I dunno, you're right but it seems like maybe it always was.

Life is a struggle.

Austin-Cambridge comments on Jan 29, 2022:

3 times a night mate! :-)

zeuser replies on Jan 29, 2022:

I feel you, bro.

She can't talk, but she can sure act!

Canndue comments on Jan 29, 2022:

Timmy must be a flexible lad

zeuser replies on Jan 29, 2022:

You have to admire the boy.

The US has had the fastest GDP growth since 1984. 1984 Any hidden meaning here?

zeuser comments on Jan 28, 2022:

Hidden meaning? No, not really. Production contracted during the pandemic and pent-up demand increased. The resumption of production to satisfy the demand backlog created a high-growth scenario due to the depressed starting point after post-pandemic closures relaxed. Ongoing supply-chain issues ...

zeuser replies on Jan 29, 2022:

@puff Sometimes I riff. ;) Yeah, I bought my first house with my then wife in about 1982, rates were high, I think we got something at like 13 variable on a 30. That was a ride.

Might be smarter to Uber.

JackPedigo comments on Jan 28, 2022:

So how does one escape in such a situation?