zeuser's Profile

Feckin' medical advice but..........."Whatever" :-D

zeuser comments on Jul 5, 2022:

Does that work? Asking for a friend.

zeuser replies on Jul 5, 2022:

@HankSherman Damn!

Some dips in the road coming up.

glennlab comments on Jul 4, 2022:

The new buttons are great.

zeuser replies on Jul 4, 2022:

Much needed and just in time.

Some dips in the road coming up.

silverotter11 comments on Jul 4, 2022:

Good group. The first one is a fav. I do not really like acronyms. When dealing with troublesome folks my co-worker and I had a choice of which little note/alert symbol to put in the upper left corner of a work order. Kurt Vonnegut's version of an asshole (from his book Breakfast of Champions) ...

zeuser replies on Jul 4, 2022:

Ah, I loved Vonnegut. Take a flying fuck at a rolling donut. Take a flying fuck at the mooooon. 😜

Some guidelines for my stateside heathens. Happy 4th! 😏

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Jul 3, 2022:

If it starts raining body parts I refuse to bother 9-1-1. Fuck that shit I will just fill up the green waste bin and let the city compost it all....

zeuser replies on Jul 3, 2022:

You might be onto something here.

I don't have the exact quote but Rep Adam Kinzinger made a tweet about the primary challengers to ...

zeuser comments on Jul 3, 2022:

He's right, but she is till gonna get drummed in the primary. I believe she is thinking of a national run.

zeuser replies on Jul 3, 2022:

@FvckY0u Except for the facts that she reeeeally hates Trump and she has some integrity, there aren't any policy issues where she and I see anywhere close to eye to eye.

Some guidelines for my stateside heathens. Happy 4th! 😏

dalefvictor comments on Jul 3, 2022:

How much money are you going to burn up this year?

zeuser replies on Jul 3, 2022:

I just watch.

But he's got such a nice vibrato.

glennlab comments on Jul 3, 2022:

Bad breath?

zeuser replies on Jul 3, 2022:

In a sense.

Some guidelines for my stateside heathens. Happy 4th! 😏

Garban comments on Jul 3, 2022:

My red neck neighbors set off $3000 worth of fire works in 1 high order event last year. I was watching from the deck, it looked like something from Hollywood. 3 ambulances where at their place. Have fun and be careful.

zeuser replies on Jul 3, 2022:

My neighbors usually get a big box of those class 4 fireworks and set them off. That's usually enough for me.

What happens when you drink 10 oz of Magnesium Citrate?

AnneWimsey comments on Jul 2, 2022:

Sounds like the entire night prior to my last colonoscopy...and I do mean the Last one anybody will Ever talk me into......

zeuser replies on Jul 2, 2022:

I get one next year, My doc says this is the last one I have to get, presumably because if I get cancer after this next one, I'm pretty much toast anyway.

I used to take a Tootsie Pop in the car for my kids when they pulled this kind of crap.

OldGoat43 comments on Jul 2, 2022:

Well, I learned a new word today. Thanks. Great combo posting.

zeuser replies on Jul 2, 2022:

Thanks, bud.

Quick thinking.

HankSherman comments on Jul 1, 2022:

Such an obivious move, must be in texas 😎😎😎

zeuser replies on Jul 1, 2022:

Soon it will be everywhere.

In the long run, we're ALL dead.

glennlab comments on Jul 1, 2022:

cross dressing squirrels, who knew.

zeuser replies on Jul 1, 2022:

They never tell. You have to ask.

In the long run, we're ALL dead.

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Jul 1, 2022:

If a state wants to outlaw abortion all the federal government has to do is place a 15% additional income and revenue tax on every person, business and church in that state to care for the unwanted children.... No deductions allowed.... Watch how fast unrestricted abortion becomes legal...

zeuser replies on Jul 1, 2022:

If you can get that past the senate, I'm all in.

I need an interpreter. Does anyone speak "Stupid"?

zeuser comments on Jun 30, 2022:

JFC, this dickhole was the president.

zeuser replies on Jun 30, 2022:

@NostraDumbass Yeah, I know. :(

Well so much for being a "Superpower.

zeuser comments on Jun 30, 2022:

Even before all of those assets were lost, who the fuck paid for them? I'd love to see how the government gets its money. I need to look into that, I need a hobby.

zeuser replies on Jun 30, 2022:

@Lizard_of_Ahaz No, I think I still might look into it. I'm an old public finance guy, I did that for a living for a while. There is sooo much data available for free these days. Good hobby no matter how you look at it. ;)

Some new merch! Visit our site today!

racocn8 comments on Jun 30, 2022:

Almost?

zeuser replies on Jun 30, 2022:

He's not finished trying, he has help, but so far no.

Mmm, spaghetti. 😉

NHjulie comments on Jun 30, 2022:

Are you sure it wasn't well done steak with ketchup?

zeuser replies on Jun 30, 2022:

That's how he likes it, doesn't he? Nothing that he touches can ever remain unspoiled.

Mmm, spaghetti. 😉

OldGoat43 comments on Jun 29, 2022:

Now he has to pay people to clean up after his fits of stupidity.

zeuser replies on Jun 30, 2022:

Well, back when he was in the White House, the taxpayers had to pay for it.

I'm very late today! Hope you all had a good Wednesday!

zeuser comments on Jun 29, 2022:

I'll be an understudy for the sniffing lines scene. 😏

zeuser replies on Jun 30, 2022:

@MichelleGar1 Wait, it comes with a romantic partner?!?

Ginni Thomas’ Lawyer Says She Won’t Testify at Jan.

zeuser comments on Jun 29, 2022:

Did anyone here honestly believe she would voluntarily testify under oath? Seriously?

zeuser replies on Jun 29, 2022:

@Lorajay Doing it under oath is just a bit more serious if you intend to lie. Unless you are a conservative Supreme Court nominee, then it is expected.

Mmm, spaghetti. 😉

BitFlipper comments on Jun 29, 2022:

I hope he chokes on it.

zeuser replies on Jun 29, 2022:

@Redheadedgammy That ship's already sailed. 😜

My cow has fleas...

Willow_Wisp comments on Jun 29, 2022:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=khFb4FTJ4Jo

zeuser replies on Jun 29, 2022:

Hah! Dumb dawg! Who's the jackass now, Fido?

My cow has fleas...

phxbillcee comments on Jun 29, 2022:

Nice selection...

zeuser replies on Jun 29, 2022:

Thanks, Bill.

My cow has fleas...

glennlab comments on Jun 29, 2022:

shoe size, Riiiiight!

zeuser replies on Jun 29, 2022:

It ain't the meat, it's the motion.

Do the families of the people who died ever get justice?

Redheadedgammy comments on Jun 29, 2022:

Apparently rich white men can get away with most anything. It’s been this way for centuries. The patriarchy is alive and well unfortunately.

zeuser replies on Jun 29, 2022:

@BitFlipper Just on general principles, in the hoosegow.

Unlike snap and crackle, pop can be fatal.

silverotter11 comments on Jun 28, 2022:

🤣🤣😈🤣🤣 I always buy a hatchback just for the bodies I need to get rid of.

zeuser replies on Jun 28, 2022:

Remind me never to piss you off. 😏

I feel that the recent gun festival and forced-birth rulings are the orange insurrectionist's ...

FvckY0u comments on Jun 26, 2022:

News reports are circulating indicating that privately Trump is super pissed at the Roe V Wade decision as it will cost him many votes should he decide to run again. So there's that.

zeuser replies on Jun 28, 2022:

@mcgeo52 It's a loooong time til the elections, but I hope you're right.

An oldie but worth another look.

Ryo1 comments on Jun 28, 2022:

Children are the best observers.

zeuser replies on Jun 28, 2022:

When I first had kids, a friend of mine told me, "They don't listen to anything you say, but they watch everything you do."

An oldie but worth another look.

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Jun 27, 2022:

And people wonder why there are so many divorces when kids learn shit like this from their parents....

zeuser replies on Jun 28, 2022:

@Lizard_of_Ahaz Aside from the numerous workability issues, I agree.

An oldie but worth another look.

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Jun 27, 2022:

And people wonder why there are so many divorces when kids learn shit like this from their parents....

zeuser replies on Jun 27, 2022:

Mom and dad are the primary source of information for kids. What are you gonna do?

On the bright side, this does save a lot of time and money.

glennlab comments on Jun 26, 2022:

I have never texted anyone eat shirt and diet, or go duck yourself.

zeuser replies on Jun 27, 2022:

I don't know how many times I had to go back and fix "Haiku birthday". ;)

Sorry, my bad!!!

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Jun 27, 2022:

I never use the self checkout lines anywhere.... Not only does it not save me any money but it keeps that company from hiring someone. Plus when you add the fact that the scanners will sometimes not scan an item correctly or miss it entirely these big corporations have you arrested for shoplifting.

zeuser replies on Jun 27, 2022:

This was my dad's position. He was a proud union man til the day he died and he felt that using self-checkout was the same thing as keeping someone out of a job.

I feel that the recent gun festival and forced-birth rulings are the orange insurrectionist's ...

FvckY0u comments on Jun 26, 2022:

News reports are circulating indicating that privately Trump is super pissed at the Roe V Wade decision as it will cost him many votes should he decide to run again. So there's that.

zeuser replies on Jun 27, 2022:

@mcgeo52 That simple goal has proven to be maddeningly elusive. I agree, I hope it happens.

Go wisely and slowly. Those who rush stumble and fall. - William Shakespeare

zeuser comments on Jun 26, 2022:

Yeah, but they also usually get the last piece of pizza. ;)

zeuser replies on Jun 26, 2022:

@MsKathleen Will Shakespeare thinks you ought to eat faster. LOL

I feel that the recent gun festival and forced-birth rulings are the orange insurrectionist's ...

FvckY0u comments on Jun 26, 2022:

News reports are circulating indicating that privately Trump is super pissed at the Roe V Wade decision as it will cost him many votes should he decide to run again. So there's that.

zeuser replies on Jun 26, 2022:

@FvckY0u I think you're right. My big fear is the raft of voter suppression laws and election nullification laws they passed in the red states to keep them from flipping. Hard to change laws if your state is badly gerrymandered.

I feel that the recent gun festival and forced-birth rulings are the orange insurrectionist's ...

FvckY0u comments on Jun 26, 2022:

News reports are circulating indicating that privately Trump is super pissed at the Roe V Wade decision as it will cost him many votes should he decide to run again. So there's that.

zeuser replies on Jun 26, 2022:

I heard he is also nursing a grudge against the court because they refused to hear his silly ass election fraud claims. Somehow, him being cheesed doesn't seem like enough to compensate for all of this horseshit.

I feel that the recent gun festival and forced-birth rulings are the orange insurrectionist's ...

UrsiMajor comments on Jun 26, 2022:

Put the blame where it belongs. People voted for this. Either casting a ballot for a Republican or not voting at all.

zeuser replies on Jun 26, 2022:

Yes, you are correct. But the asshole they voted for and his appointees were the agents of this ongoing disaster, and the ride isn't over yet. I held extreme antipathy for trump voters anyway, long before the bitter fruit of his egregious judicial appointments ever first started to grow. The fertilizer was Moscow Mitch holding up President Obama's nominee and the stupid slave-state electoral college system, but yeah, the voters deserve scorn, and a permanent painful rectal itch. All of them.

I feel that the recent gun festival and forced-birth rulings are the orange insurrectionist's ...

HippieChick58 comments on Jun 26, 2022:

These are perfect. I'm a mess right now. One kid just gave birth to a baby girl, and her sister is moving to Amsterdam because the US is not safe anymore. I'm sick of this "living in interesting times" crap. However, I have a new baby girl to fight for, onward and upward.

zeuser replies on Jun 26, 2022:

Oh no! I honestly can't blame her, but you have to suffer the consequences of a completely unnecessary separation. I am tired of this "interesting times" bullshit too. The worst part is seeing all the forced-birth bigots and ammosexuals doing the happy dance with catholic bishops keeping time.

I love haiku!

JackPedigo comments on Jun 25, 2022:

What is it with Thomas. Sometimes it seems he thinks he is white.

zeuser replies on Jun 25, 2022:

Good article about this phenomenon, a couple of years old but it has some insights. https://www.theatlantic.com/politics/archive/2014/12/black-on-black-racism-the-hazards-of-implicit-bias/384028/

Some pictures of the orange insurrectionist and some of his favorite toadies and dupes.

Redheadedgammy comments on Jun 25, 2022:

Really love the rapture of trumpers in their red hats!!! 🤣🤣🤣

zeuser replies on Jun 25, 2022:

If only, right?

Some pictures of the orange insurrectionist and some of his favorite toadies and dupes.

chalupacabre comments on Jun 25, 2022:

I think a septic truck would be a more likely candidate for sucking up all the trumpists. Guess that's too hard to capture in a cartoon, though

zeuser replies on Jun 25, 2022:

@LucyLoohoo No we would not!

Some pictures of the orange insurrectionist and some of his favorite toadies and dupes.

LucyLoohoo comments on Jun 25, 2022:

I very literally laughed out loud at Bill Barr covering up more shit than cat litter! Thanks, Zee!

zeuser replies on Jun 25, 2022:

All we can do is laugh, right?

“Those who lack the courage will always find a philosophy to justify it”…………….

zeuser comments on Jun 23, 2022:

And maybe even invent one?

zeuser replies on Jun 24, 2022:

@MsKathleen I thought it was a good idea to say it out loud. ;)

Ya gotta feel it in your heart.

joeandbarb comments on Jun 24, 2022:

leaving orange streaks on the porcelain as he starts circling the bowl faster and faster. I bet Georgia indicts him before the month is out!

zeuser replies on Jun 24, 2022:

The DOJ seems to be cutting a few more warrants, and white house staff level people are squealing. The trend seems to be going in the right direction,

I love haiku!

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Jun 23, 2022:

#1 was always me.....

zeuser replies on Jun 24, 2022:

@Lizard_of_Ahaz Good job, partner.

I love haiku!

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Jun 23, 2022:

#1 was always me.....

zeuser replies on Jun 23, 2022:

You have to be yourself so you can free yourself. ;)

Women for Trump Founder and Jan.

zeuser comments on Jun 23, 2022:

So, let me get this straight. You once supported a politician who demands loyalty but who repeatedly shows none, and now he does it to someone you supported and you are sad and butthurt. Is that about it? Gee, what a sad fucking story. ;)

zeuser replies on Jun 23, 2022:

@Redheadedgammy And let's not forget, she supported awful politicians in the past and will do so again in the future.

Hey! Hey Merrick! Are you awake?

LucyLoohoo comments on Jun 22, 2022:

Zee....we have no idea what's going on in the DOJ. Remember how everyone complained because the Jan. 6 committee took a long time to get started? Now we see that time paid off in careful, detailed preparation. Let's give the DOJ some time.

zeuser replies on Jun 22, 2022:

I hope so. They are getting this on a silver platter, lack of prosecution would itself be criminal. But I take your point. I think this Danziger cartoon captures that idea.

Never hide anything from your doctor and lawyer

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Jun 21, 2022:

Oldie but goody...

zeuser replies on Jun 21, 2022:

The classics never get old.

Fifth column.

joeandbarb comments on Jun 21, 2022:

and they will be able to finish their conversation while in prison

zeuser replies on Jun 21, 2022:

Lordy, I hope so.

Gotta love Looney tunes...

St-Sinner comments on Jun 21, 2022:

I had read an interview of the son of the voice-over of Elmer Fudd. He said his father used to talk in all kinds of funny voices at home and he was a lot of fun.

zeuser replies on Jun 21, 2022:

Mel Blanc, the man of a thousand voices, who single handedly voiced just about all of the Looney Tune characters. He was a talented comedian in his own right and had a great run as a second banana on Jack Benny's TV show in the 50's an 60's.

Lawn darts too, though I sort of miss those.

glennlab comments on Jun 20, 2022:

Another excellent set.

zeuser replies on Jun 20, 2022:

Thanks, partner.

Dads are SUPPOSED to tell the same joke over and over. It's in the rule book!

dalefvictor comments on Jun 20, 2022:

Never thought to make popcorn like that.

zeuser replies on Jun 20, 2022:

The force in not yet strong enough in you, padawan. LOL

You gotta take every opportunity. Before they run out of money.

Redheadedgammy comments on Jun 20, 2022:

He won’t stop until he’s behind bars or dead. I’m hoping for the latter to happen sooner rather than later. 😉

zeuser replies on Jun 20, 2022:

Personally, I'd prefer to see him in the hoosegow, complaining about prison food. But if he kicks the bucket first, I'll get over it.

You gotta take every opportunity. Before they run out of money.

TheDoubter comments on Jun 20, 2022:

watch the suckers step up

zeuser replies on Jun 20, 2022:

There's one born every minute.

Dads are SUPPOSED to tell the same joke over and over. It's in the rule book!

Lorajay comments on Jun 20, 2022:

I love the first one.

zeuser replies on Jun 20, 2022:

Iknow, right? What else is he supposed to do if god refuses to listen? LOL

Happy Father's Day!

St-Sinner comments on Jun 19, 2022:

I have seen Ozzy on TV a few times. He always looked crazy to me. Was he a good singer? Some funny, some dark.

zeuser replies on Jun 20, 2022:

@MichelleGar1 Oh me too. I wore out the Iron Man and Planet Caravan tracks on Paranoid back in the day.

Happy Father's Day!

St-Sinner comments on Jun 19, 2022:

I have seen Ozzy on TV a few times. He always looked crazy to me. Was he a good singer? Some funny, some dark.

zeuser replies on Jun 19, 2022:

He could carry a tune and his voice was not unpleasant, but his claim to fame was he almost single-handedly invented heavy metal with solid loud metal rock and roll guitar play. He affected a convincing demonic persona onstage too.

Pardon me?

HippieChick58 comments on Jun 19, 2022:

Asking for a pardon ahead of time is an admission of guilt. Like going to confession, only without priests, only the "sins" are so much greater in magnitude. The catholic church has done so much harm to the world with their "forgiveness of 'sins'". Some sins are not forgivable, and many more ...

zeuser replies on Jun 19, 2022:

No argument here from me.

REPUG FLORIDA NUT JOB POLITICIAN SHOWS RANT ON TV.

zeuser comments on Jun 18, 2022:

A lie is as good as the truth if you can get someone to believe it. - RNC Platform Plank Number 1

zeuser replies on Jun 19, 2022:

@anglophone Um, the imvisible kahuna working in mysterious ways?

He's got to be brave. rolling my eyes

HippieChick58 comments on Jun 18, 2022:

MTG is definitely one of the speshul ones.

zeuser replies on Jun 18, 2022:

@glennlab Thank goodness for Zoom. LOL

He's got to be brave. rolling my eyes

HippieChick58 comments on Jun 18, 2022:

MTG is definitely one of the speshul ones.

zeuser replies on Jun 18, 2022:

@glennlab What about his Father's Day festivities, you know?

He's not on mute, it looks like he's trapped in a glass box!

Pralina1 comments on Jun 18, 2022:

The history one 🙁

zeuser replies on Jun 18, 2022:

Yeah, that one spoke to me.

He's got to be brave. rolling my eyes

LucyLoohoo comments on Jun 18, 2022:

Imagine if those two had a child??????

zeuser replies on Jun 18, 2022:

No. Just no.

He's got to be brave. rolling my eyes

HippieChick58 comments on Jun 18, 2022:

MTG is definitely one of the speshul ones.

zeuser replies on Jun 18, 2022:

Valedictorian of the special class.

Nothing? Not even edibles?

St-Sinner comments on Jun 17, 2022:

Herschel. But will it help Warnock in red Georgia? I don't know if it is a toss up any more.

zeuser replies on Jun 17, 2022:

Can't hurt.

The Late Show with Stephen Colbert - Colbert Comedy ColdOpens Lauren Boebert's Jesus Christ ...

Beowulfsfriend comments on Jun 17, 2022:

So, if GeeZeus hadn't died, wouldn't that mean no Xtions? Wasn't his death needed? She is such a stupid shit. Maybe her misunderstanding of xionanity is her desire to be Mary Madeline, seems she may have been a paid escort..

zeuser replies on Jun 17, 2022:

@Lizard_of_Ahaz Evidently, Ted Cruz. There's a match made on "Back Page Beauties", am I right?

The more I look at Donald John Trump the more I wonder how the U$A managed to elect such a morally ...

zeuser comments on Jun 16, 2022:

Hillary was no prize and she did screw the pooch in a lot of states that she thought (incorrectly) were all sewed up for her. But even so, come on.

zeuser replies on Jun 17, 2022:

@Sticks48 Oh she was qualified all right, and she did win the popular vote hands down. But you gotta play the game in front of you. We all paid the price.

The music can make all the difference.

Pralina1 comments on Jun 16, 2022:

Uber driver !!! Omg my anxiety level is red !!! Off to Niagara Falls next week , flying to Buffalo , and going to take an Uber to my hotel which is about 30 miles later . Honestly , I am sweating , captain safety here , captain dork , captain “ I grew up in the 80s we don’t ride w strangers ...

zeuser replies on Jun 17, 2022:

Calm down. Just bring your good shiv. Even if you never use it, it will make you confident. Plus double check the driver's id before you get in. My meme is just a meme, you'll be fine. <3

What are your thoughts?

zeuser comments on Jun 16, 2022:

He won't do it, it's all just bluster. Equal time, but you're under oath? Fuck no!

zeuser replies on Jun 17, 2022:

@LucyLoohoo @OldMetalHead They don't need him to sew his ass up - they have the goods. And you know he'll never testify under oath. But wouldn't it be fun if he did? A Captain Queeg moment in the making.

The music can make all the difference.

glennlab comments on Jun 16, 2022:

Uber one strikes home.

zeuser replies on Jun 16, 2022:

You gotta watch yourself! These guys are feral cabbies!

All my appointees are turning against me, ungrateful RINOs! LOL

HippieChick58 comments on Jun 16, 2022:

Awesome memes! The best I've seen today!

zeuser replies on Jun 16, 2022:

Yeah, they are pretty on point. Of course, I just steal them. LOL

“A good local pub has much in common with a church, except it is warmer and has more ...

zeuser comments on Jun 16, 2022:

Better booze too.

zeuser replies on Jun 16, 2022:

@Marionville Thankfully, I never had that horror visited upon me. Luck of the draw, I guess.

“A good local pub has much in common with a church, except it is warmer and has more ...

zeuser comments on Jun 16, 2022:

Better booze too.

zeuser replies on Jun 16, 2022:

@Marionville As an ex-altar boy who used to sneak a swig here and there in the sacristy with the other altar boys, it leaves a wicked hangover too.

Um, I decided to use the ATM.

tinkercreek comments on Jun 15, 2022:

Hahahaha, ‘insert bills facing up”!

zeuser replies on Jun 16, 2022:

@HankSherman You rebel you.

Now what ??

zeuser comments on Jun 15, 2022:

Next, the panties.