Have a happy...

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Apr 20, 2023:

Got to be better than licking a frog's ass to get high....

What's wrong with that?

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Apr 20, 2023:

People of Walmart....

Just released

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Apr 20, 2023:

Looks more like an Amazon production to me...

Now appearing at your local WalMart

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Apr 18, 2023:

Yep people of Walmart material....

It is springtime, they are looking for handouts.

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Apr 18, 2023:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=DTvS9lvRxZ8=MarkRober

Darn those big corporations.

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Apr 18, 2023:

Like the rest of them I don't see why their dick falling off would have much of an effect on their lives anyway... Other than masturbation I would be completely shocked if many of them even had a sex life...

A good fit is hard to find. I speak from experience here.

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Apr 18, 2023:

RE: #1 Thanks Home Depot... #2 Poaching for poachers...

Have a nice warm one?

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Apr 18, 2023:

"Look out lady that dre beer has da Gays...." Redneck Republicans that switched to beers that have been even more supportive of Gay rights for far longer...

It doesn't come cheap.

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Apr 17, 2023:

I don't know if those her hands or feet but either way I am not going there...

Delicious lunches, which would be your favorite?

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Apr 17, 2023:

Pass on the beets as well as the Korean but swapping the fish for chicken I am up for...

'Too good to be true...' Brits are a suspicious bunch. 😅

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Apr 17, 2023:

Sounds more like paranoia to me...

Karen virus has reached Europe

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Apr 17, 2023:

'Karens everywhere....' Buzz Lightyear

Men will be second to none

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Apr 17, 2023:

Looks like something their hereditary peerage wears...

Just hear me out

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Apr 17, 2023:

In one ear and out the other....

Hey, progress is progress.

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Apr 17, 2023:

If they think they are lost now just wait until the spit or swallow part of the tour....

Next anniversary and Valentine's Day doormat gift ideas

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Apr 16, 2023:

Mine reads: "Oh shit not you again..."

I did not know

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Apr 16, 2023:

Very uplifting....

A Republican terrorist

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Apr 16, 2023:

Karma for that one would be her entire family being killed during a mass shooting by one of her own supporters...

I have stopped doing it

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Apr 15, 2023:

All thanks to the McCarthy anti-communist movement defunding public education....

Oops, there was some confusion here

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Apr 15, 2023:

Getting old sucks...

They have been tellin us...."Don't drink too much"

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Apr 15, 2023:

Somebody is in for a surprise...

Now brought to you in a new kinky flavor

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Apr 15, 2023:

Movie theater popcorn flavor?...

A new competition has erupted

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Apr 15, 2023:

Transvestite fight...

Historically accurate but a shitty reason.

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Apr 15, 2023:

Christians go to church and other Christians slaughter their children in mass shootings anyway...

Love them, spare no expense.

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Apr 15, 2023:

Should have had them done in stainless and named him..... Jaws... https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=V9viObEpCck=EveryJamesBond

It was a day like any other at the office for Dave, when all of a sudden, a bear opens his door.

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Apr 14, 2023:

Now that is a stinker....

Indiscreet shipping

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Apr 14, 2023:

The paper makes its own statement.... For all the times your kid has pissed you off imagine mailing them something wrapped like that.... to their college dorm...

It's perfect! Today is the day.

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Apr 14, 2023:

*Drinks...*

KFC has all new sexy menu

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Apr 14, 2023:

As opposed to the Trumpanzee special? Fatty ,undercooked, greasy, spoiled mystery meat with lead pellets ?...

Women should not trust online dating

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Apr 14, 2023:

Nobody should trust it... This is your online girlfriend

He thinks in advance

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Apr 14, 2023:

#DatingLife

I recommend watching alone

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Apr 14, 2023:

He forgot to mention that he has been banned from every theater within a 100 mile radius of where he lives...

It couldn't hurt!

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Apr 13, 2023:

Until your friends start teasing you and you get stirred up..... Then you become a stir-fry....

Oh, oh...now what?

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Apr 13, 2023:

Some kids are just so literal these days....

I want to interview the architect

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Apr 13, 2023:

I would love to have a house like that and so would my cats...

Crocodile Dundee is back

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Apr 13, 2023:

Crocks....

Honesty is a virtue but oops.....

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Apr 13, 2023:

Who would be leaving who is what I want to know.... Along with who gets custody of the money of course....

Bless her heart!

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Apr 12, 2023:

Somebody isn't the brightest crayon in the box.... Seems to be one of the least bright ones in fact.

This rule makes sense to me. And you?

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Apr 12, 2023:

My kind of gal...

Dalai Productions presents "The Recent Confusion of the Altar Boy"

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Apr 12, 2023:

Tell the priest you don't want to wear a mini skirt anymore...

Does it really work? Looks promising.

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Apr 12, 2023:

I think that DeSantis appointed that one as Floriduh's surgeon general.... https://www.reuters.com/article/us-usa-florida-buttocks/more-victims-reported-in-fix-a-flat-buttocks-case-idUSTRE7AL2UL20111122

Good morning! Happy Wednesday!!! Hope everyone has a great day!

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Apr 12, 2023:

Hovercat Jr is on the loose....

Out in the country

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Apr 12, 2023:

Looks more like the deep South...

Dalai Lama's dirty news spread like a wild fire

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Apr 12, 2023:

Says the man wearing a dress...

That is just not playing fair.

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Apr 11, 2023:

Draw a swastika on it.... a big one and a pig in the driver's seat would be a nice touch.

Who knew that Jesus knew?

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Apr 11, 2023:

We have a few of those here it seems.... Invariably they are arguing from ignorance.

Here you go.... Follow me for good pick up lines

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Apr 11, 2023:

You either get slapped or laid...

There is only way to steal her phone. You up to it?

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Apr 11, 2023:

As long as it doesn't smell like a rotting fish I am...

" "

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Apr 11, 2023:

Betting several people I just sent this to are going to be a bit annoyed...

He got a discount

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Apr 11, 2023:

My son-in-law sends these to his friends and has become one of the most popular UPS drivers in the corporation...

Your thoughts and prayers are not going waste

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Apr 11, 2023:

Gad I would hate to be an altarboy in that church...

I wish I'd known this sooner.

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Apr 11, 2023:

Fucked if you do and damned if you don't?...

A tit for tat to the end

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Apr 11, 2023:

When I die I will be cremated so the whole world can kiss my ash...

Get well, or get....?

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Apr 10, 2023:

99.99999% of my card purchases would be from the "get fucked" category....

Not bragging or anything....

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Apr 9, 2023:

No real ones is the first clue...Not for 65 million years now. Unless you ask a fundamentalist Christian because those gullible dumb-fucks think the Flintstones is an historical documentary...

Helpful hint 98, spring driving tips.

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Apr 9, 2023:

There are people out there who are probably stupid enough to do this...

Look at the group name. "Just for Laughs"

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Apr 9, 2023:

I laugh at people whining about my posts all the time... Often it is @Tejas ...

An AI artist from India named Gokul Pillai created these images of how today's billionaires would ...

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Apr 9, 2023:

Charge them all with racketeering and this vision could become reality...

Seek advice when you need one

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Apr 8, 2023:

The wife should be glad he was only yanking his crank instead of jumping the neighbor's daughter out in the yard...

Happy good friday

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Apr 8, 2023:

And here I thought they only diddled littler boys...

She told so

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Apr 7, 2023:

Then when he gets home he finds his place has been cleaned out...

If only it were this easy

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Apr 7, 2023:

You have to be a billionaire to opt out of that list....

Timeless....

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Apr 7, 2023:

So was Betty White....

That's gotta hurt.

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Apr 6, 2023:

Looks like a real pain in the ass...

Agnostics, look what we've done. Now Jebus is telling his father.

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Apr 6, 2023:

Good luck with that...

He has a hobby

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Apr 6, 2023:

Probably just embarrassed he is driving a Fart-car is all...

Birthday present from my bride of 33 years.

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Apr 6, 2023:

Probably tie you up in it to feed the mosquitoes...

Saving the planet...

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Apr 6, 2023:

Alabama Depends....

It used to be occasionally, now it's almost every day.

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Apr 5, 2023:

At least several times a day...

A vision of loveliness.

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Apr 5, 2023:

Or spend less time at the bar....

I have sympathy for the guy.

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Apr 5, 2023:

poor man's side view mirror...

OK, I'm confused, did I get this from here or am I posting it here.......lol

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Apr 5, 2023:

Yeah keep him until you clean him out....

It's gonna take a while

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Apr 5, 2023:

How to tell when you are getting old...

Trump's mugshot - only really really wish it was true

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Apr 5, 2023:

Asshole is even scamming with this fake mugshot from his campaign.... Hopefully they charged him with racketeering...

Happy Wednesday, hope you all have a great evening!

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Apr 5, 2023:

A Flintstones car....

Trump is cool for extremist and retard followers

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Apr 5, 2023:

Like attracts like.... But I would have thought he was a gimp...

A courteous customer service

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Apr 5, 2023:

Why grammar is important....

We need a positive attitude

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Apr 5, 2023:

Sent this to a friend who lives in a city that has roads that keep getting blocked off for repairs yet when reopened seem to have the same potholes as before the street was blocked off.... What can I say a small corrupt town run by Republicans who have lots of money...

Sorry, sorry!

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Apr 5, 2023:

Getting harder all the time to find a place to have lunch in peace....

What's my phone doing?

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Apr 5, 2023:

I just answer and tell them what a pathetic pile of shit they are....

Happy couple

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Apr 5, 2023:

Drinking that shit excuse for a beer?...

A passenger tapped his Uber driver on the shoulder to ask him a question.

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Apr 4, 2023:

Zombie Apocalypse anyone?...

Never happened to me. cough

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Apr 3, 2023:

I never have to worry about forgetting where I parked my car,.... just my ebike...

Time to stop at the Gotham Corner Bodega on the way home.

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Apr 3, 2023:

When you are at work in the middle of a busy day and your home is less than 4 blocks from the grocery store....

That should turn a few heads. ;)

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Apr 2, 2023:

He must be a Karen....

Over 100 Russian missiles hit Ukraine after peace plan announced

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Apr 2, 2023:

The reality is that the Russians have committed yet another act of terrorism against the Ukraine and Putin can't back down or he will be forced out of power and possibly either killed by Russia or turned over to to stand trial for the war crimes he has already been charged with.

I don't give them any more.

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Apr 2, 2023:

I asked into that but it didn't seem worth the cost of hiring a truck when I didn't have any to transport...

A nun is praying in her convent in rural Ireland when there is a sudden bang and a cloud of green ...

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Apr 1, 2023:

You would think the iceberg would have been a clue...

With over 8000 posts, I'm sure you can find something to offend you.

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Mar 31, 2023:

Something tells me the chances are good you will make level 10 before the site crashes and burns...

In the Honor of the indicted Donnie on this special day

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Mar 31, 2023:

His lawyer just went on the news and opened up a bucket of worms for him by claiming that Donny the Dumbass's corporate shell was "personal funds" now it no longer matters which entity they want to sue they can go after both....

Be impressed. It's quite a feat.

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Mar 30, 2023:

And are looking for shit to pull out of your ass so you can impress the peons...

Something tells me she is used to getting her way.

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Mar 30, 2023:

Somebody bit off more than he can chew....

Been in the hospital with my mom since Sunday! Hope everyone is having a good week!

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Mar 30, 2023:

Plasma torch.... Then send a bill for repairs to your floor...

Looking forward to seeing this movie.... [youtube.com]

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Mar 29, 2023:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=rLs_0h9_wXM=ffingers94

Poor guy can't catch a break

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Mar 29, 2023:

No wonder those poor guys look so exhausted just lying around all day...

For Florida

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Mar 28, 2023:

Michelangelo's David was just banned from Floriduh's schools.... https://www.npr.org/2023/03/27/1166079167/tallahassee-classical-michelangelo-david-principal-fired

Names are important.

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Mar 28, 2023:

Some of these seem a bit.... er.... flaky...

A true story

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Mar 27, 2023:

Conman the Dumbarian...

Mine is one of those tough old houses. 😆

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Mar 25, 2023:

My house is 101 years old this year....

You will see clearly

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Mar 25, 2023:

Now that is an ad that will work...