I'm a father to two bi-racial children, but this still made me laugh

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Jan 17, 2021:

As a grandfather of 5 biracial grandchildren I agree...

It's a sad day when Americans vote for a party that refuses to ban late term abortions.

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Jan 17, 2021:

It is a sad day when anyone who calls their self an American votes for a party that commits treason and tries to install a dictator like Adolph Hitler....

I actually love algebra!

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Jan 17, 2021:

Cripes 3rd grade math is often beyond the capability of most people in the deep South or they would stop voting Republican....

Well they asked

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Jan 16, 2021:

...........................

I'm so sorry...

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Jan 16, 2021:

Hey I think I saw this guy in the Trump riot coverage...

Isn't that the truth!

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Jan 16, 2021:

All gods are just an excuse to pretend you are smarter than those who are actually educated....

Travel advice

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Jan 16, 2021:

I don't want to go down it but I can think of more than a few that would do the world a favor by taking that.... er... cut off if you will pardon the pun...

Interesting Covid related question

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Jan 16, 2021:

Not for over 15 years now but with all the stupid in the world today it is tempting....

Lot of these running loose lately.. political crack heads.

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Jan 16, 2021:

The crackhead....

Ok good to know..

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Jan 16, 2021:

We have a bunch of these up the hill from me that still live with their mommies....

Recycle reuse... let's go green, I mean pink

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Jan 16, 2021:

So was it fun being called to the principal's office?... Ahh the memories...

I ❤ Fruit. and bacon!

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Jan 15, 2021:

Cling peaches help cure diarrhea...

Mine is: No Fly List

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Jan 13, 2021:

The No Fly Guys The Gerbils The Beastly Bitches

Mine is: No Fly List

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Jan 13, 2021:

The Pussycat Boys The Organic Food Dolls The Troglodytes The GEICO boys Captain Caveman and his Wannabes

Mine is: No Fly List

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Jan 13, 2021:

The Beefalo Boys...

Pretty much! Lol!!!

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Jan 13, 2021:

........................

Yeah, just like that! Lol

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Jan 12, 2021:

If I had a head that looked like that I would consider wearing a wig...

Maybe that's why they tell you to keep your windows closed at the safari park

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Jan 12, 2021:

How to groom your kid for a career in porn....

Bad Habits?

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Jan 12, 2021:

We need to fund the IRS to go after these 501c3 organizations and make them taxable again....

Am I doing it wrong? Or very right???

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Jan 12, 2021:

And when they die of a heart attack everyone wonders why....

Tweet worth following up...?

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Jan 12, 2021:

Calling bullshit on her....

David Frum - nice rebuttal to the nonsense of Ted Cruz !!

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Jan 12, 2021:

........................

Maybe that's why they tell you to keep your windows closed at the safari park

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Jan 12, 2021:

Fire in the hole...

Sleeping in peace with a butt ton of crosses.

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Jan 12, 2021:

Can you say death cult?...

When religious people reach Level 100?

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Jan 12, 2021:

Republican Jesus...

Fish Tacos.🐟🌮

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Jan 11, 2021:

I just stole this and sent it to some people I know.... Betting I get some strange answers back...

5 images: DYAC!!!

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Jan 11, 2021:

Why I hate dumbphones so much...

Star Trek reference.

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Jan 11, 2021:

...................

"The Ring" is attacking her. (horror movie reference)

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Jan 11, 2021:

Going to have to flip a coin on this one.... Let's see.... heads or tails...

LMFAO!!!! Keeps writing itself!

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Jan 11, 2021:

he doesn't dare remove him until Trump pardons him for his crimes while in office...

Ewwww!!!!! 🤢

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Jan 11, 2021:

Now with two diapers...

But she needs to work now! Lol

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Jan 11, 2021:

Hi hoe hi hoe its back to work she goes....

Can you spot the difference?

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Jan 11, 2021:

The terrorists on the left drink beer and eat bacon....

'Murica Jesus loves...guns and certain people only. Not everybody, that's like a lot of people.

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Jan 9, 2021:

..............................

Anti- Math Extremists, LMAO!!!!

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Jan 9, 2021:

Awww how cute look guys its Neanderthal Barbie...

Where there is a will, there is a way.

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Jan 9, 2021:

Great idea for those Black Friday sales riots...

I want my mummy

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Jan 9, 2021:

What a..... er...... tasteless joke...

Forget about how he got in there, worry about how we're going to get him out.

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Jan 9, 2021:

Mmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm Hamburgers....

Gee I thought these were outlawed....

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Jan 9, 2021:

So then it seems @Hages can't handle the truth either.... LMAO Whatever belief you refuse to question when the facts show you are wrong is a religion because you are using faith not facts...

Olive Garden revoked pasta passes...!

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Jan 9, 2021:

Actually this was a gag meme that went viral is all but people thought it was real... They don't have a "Pasta pass..."

Pillow talk.

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Jan 9, 2021:

Chinese toys are so much fun...This is what happens when corporate America sends American jobs overseas to save a few bucks....

Not sure what's funnier, the trendy outfit or the "lyk" caption.

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Jan 9, 2021:

Fucking WallyWorld....

We are worried about you

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Jan 9, 2021:

I have had mine since I was a child.... Over 50 years of dementia I guess.... It figures I guess that is what I get for listening to Dr Demento on the radio as a child right?...

Oh the irony of it all...

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Jan 9, 2021:

In memory of....

While the banjos are playing in the background, one must be reminded.

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Jan 9, 2021:

Hey it is Alabama what do you expect....

I'll just get forgiven next Sunday.

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Jan 8, 2021:

Best thing about anti-maskers is they are so easy to identify when they commit an act of treason....

Just a little coup humour....😉

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Jan 8, 2021:

Considering cops let them in and the two highest members of the capital hill police were complicit (Sgt of Arms of both the House and Senate) I would say that a Pez dispenser had better security...

Never forget, these roads were built by government employees in times of peace.

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Jan 8, 2021:

Actually they did use engineers to design their roads..

I'm happy and I know it.

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Jan 8, 2021:

......................

Accurate.

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Jan 8, 2021:

Fucking Mad Max all over again....

For those of you who like graphs.

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Jan 7, 2021:

..............................

Only one dead and five wounded how disappointing.

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Jan 7, 2021:

Update: the death toll now stands at 4 the other three for "medical reasons" which means the tear gas released by both cops and Trumpanzees is my guess...

A couple of timely ones:

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Jan 6, 2021:

Actually capital hill cops opened the doors and took selfies with the insurrectionalists. But Cori Bush just announced that tomorrow on her 5th day in office she is introducing a bill to expel all members of congress who supported this attempted coup... At least someone has the balls!

Wait, what kind of dog are they talking about!!??

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Jan 6, 2021:

Any dog like that is an outdoor only pet...

Foster's Wisdom

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Jan 6, 2021:

This isn't wisdom this is congenital idiocy...

I don't know nothin' 'bout birthin' no babies!! (2 images)

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Jan 6, 2021:

Fucking Fund-duh-mentalists actually use this book in their schools as a part of their "sex ed" classes which goes towards explaining why their teen girls are the ones getting most of the abortions in this country... https://youtu.be/aG5Y4VXlk-w

I wouldn't want to be either of these guys.

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Jan 5, 2021:

I am wondering if he is robocalling everyone for a hundred miles....

Not much, but you can splurge a little

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Jan 5, 2021:

And a couple slices of pickles while you are at it..

Role of a lifetime

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Jan 5, 2021:

................................

Yikes!!

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Jan 4, 2021:

How high is Uranus?... About three feet off the ground unless we are talking about marijuana suppositories...

It seems legit...

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Jan 4, 2021:

So then the earth is actually full of beans..... No wonder we have so many farts running around...

Shitspreader 3000.

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Jan 4, 2021:

Man what a shit storm...

Seems like he doesn't believe turn about is fair play

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Jan 4, 2021:

I won a free set of sockets from a Snapoff man once he complained that I must be using a 15mm 12 point socket on my airgun if I kept breaking it as often as I did (you need a thin wall 12 point socket to remove the heads on certain German cars BMW, VW, Audi and Porsche). So I bet him I could break one using only a standard size ratchet. I put a 12 point head bolt for a BMW in my vise and tightened it down then took one of his spare 3/8 drive 12 point 15mm sockets on a standard ratchet and snapped that fucker in two pieces while he watched without even exerting myself... He never said a word and just handed me the replacement and a brand new set of sockets worth about $125 and never again questioned me on breakage. I think word went upstairs though because about 6 months later I noticed a real improvement in quality....

A pictoral breakdown of what to bring ...

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Jan 4, 2021:

Most shootings are at close range and a knife could be an advantage in that case... As for a lid if it is metal could be used as a shield in offensive or defensive mode and be a huge advantage. If it is an old style trash can metal lid you could not only block the knife but used properly disable or kill the person carrying a knife.

If you don't laugh at this one, I wonder about you...

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Jan 4, 2021:

A cuck wife who loves horsing around.....

really good deal, just have a mop ready for the blood.

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Jan 4, 2021:

Probably should have put this up before but.... Only half off two fingers....

Bambi, is that you?

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Jan 3, 2021:

https://youtu.be/KdzXCBIH4uc

In case you were wondering!!!

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Jan 3, 2021:

Gladly....

How about you? I always said that installation was more fun than delivery.

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Jan 3, 2021:

"Vagina: the box the penis cums in" Andrew Dice Clay

really good deal, just have a mop ready for the blood.

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Jan 3, 2021:

https://youtu.be/toNsPh-pxgc

X2 flat earth memes:

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Jan 3, 2021:

.............................

MUTE

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Jan 3, 2021:

Even better the city had it removed...

A Retired Cleveland Detective Says God Helped Him Crack Cases | Hemant Mehta | Friendly Atheist | ...

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Jan 2, 2021:

Well there goes all his convictions....I see s slew of people he had sent to jail or prison filing motions for new trials and a shitload of lawsuits against the state and his department...

Not the best year...no

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Jan 1, 2021:

Good year for death maybe but nobody else...

Question to atheists and agnostics: Are you sure no god exists that you believe in?

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Jan 1, 2021:

Pretty sure that the universe isn't sentient which ends the discussion until you have evidence it is....

Back to our regularly scheduled humor

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Jan 1, 2021:

Where is the tit on a coconut?..

Cheers Y'all!

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Jan 1, 2021:

So many that I have no patience or mercy for them anymore... There is a massive number of dumb fucks that haven't a damned clue in the world what they are talking about and one just called my sister saying "She is now COVID free... she just has pneumonia" and wanted to come over to visit.... After of course "going to visit a sick friend who has COVID because she already had it..." Fucking idiot still has it and is trying to spread it around to kill as many people as she can before she dies... All myths aside you can get COVID a second time and it is usually fatal when you do...

Cogent thoughts for the New Year...

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Jan 1, 2021:

The really self-damming thing about Penn is he is a Libertarian which means he supports rapists....

But a funny one!

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Dec 31, 2020:

Pew pew....

Guys! What 'cha gonna do. (Anybody here have any wild ER stories to share?)

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Dec 31, 2020:

Hey wasn't that Trump?...

History remembers 2020.

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Dec 31, 2020:

This book got me through 2020....

You just can't escape them...

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Dec 31, 2020:

Do what I do and fuck with them... I love asking them if they just enjoy being a criminal or are too fucking stupid to find honest work....

Not so smart after all.

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Dec 31, 2020:

Not only that but it is one of the highest priced on the market and has been made as a "sealed unit" so that you can't repair them they have to be replaced instead... This makes them little more than a $2,000 Bic lighter....

Most likely.

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Dec 30, 2020:

The founding fathers would say there are 11 million idiots living in Ohio.... Boston was under quarantine in both 1776 and 1778 for small pox as well as Washington quarantining his soldiers when they became infected....

Lol. ...and all this time we've been blaming religion!

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Dec 29, 2020:

Amusingly religions always claim to be peaceful yet more wars have been fought in the name of a god than for any other reason....

I always wondered how paranoid they were

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Dec 29, 2020:

Funny these guys are the ones who report mine....

Evolution in action...

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Dec 29, 2020:

https://youtu.be/V83JR2IoI8k

Please pay attention, shite is reel.

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Dec 29, 2020:

Why I hate Windblows in two words: It sucks....

The goyim know! [knowyourmeme.com].

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Dec 29, 2020:

https://youtu.be/lOfZLb33uCg

How the real last supper went down! Lol!!!

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Dec 28, 2020:

Well this one certainly has "a peal"

A bit of a rant ahead.

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Dec 28, 2020:

The vast majority of people who call themselves Christian have never bothered to read the bible. The only reasons Christ-Insanity still exists is fear mongering by well meaning but otherwise brainwashed people and intellectual laziness. The bible is the world's best selling coffee table book people will buy several copies to leave strategically scattered around the house where others can see them but the closest they come to "reading it" is at church or "bible study" (indoctrination) meetings where they have selected passages read to them out of context and are told what the meaning of those passages "really is". Christianity was born and forced on the world at the point of a sword and now that they are no longer allowed to force their beliefs on others through torture and homicide it is dying out. This frightens believers so much they are making a last gasp effort to force a theocracy on us which is what the Trump administration was all about.

Some of the doll expressions really need more work. But you can give them great back stories

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Dec 28, 2020:

https://youtu.be/IUJtvN7ToC8

Hopefully not! Lol

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Dec 27, 2020:

Well that would at least be one way of keeping Kohl's out of bankruptcy court for another year...

Conspiracy at the Opera...

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Dec 27, 2020:

Anthony Warner = Aria 5G at the Nashville Grand Old Opery House...

For all my introvert friends

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Dec 26, 2020:

https://fineartamerica.com/featured/14-vestmannaeyjar-iceland-joana-kruse.html

Fun decorating tips

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Dec 26, 2020:

These days you would damned near have to win the lottery to afford curtains like those....

One for those late night get togethers if we ever have them again

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Dec 25, 2020:

....................................

Oh no, he got rear ended..

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Dec 25, 2020:

In medical terms that would be "Headinrectumitis...."

Lot of truth in this one.

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Dec 25, 2020:

In certian parts of the country saying merry Christmas used to get you a fine and time in the stocks....

An example of cookie nookie ... [agnostic.com]

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Dec 25, 2020:

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