We need a positive attitude

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Apr 5, 2023:

Sent this to a friend who lives in a city that has roads that keep getting blocked off for repairs yet when reopened seem to have the same potholes as before the street was blocked off.... What can I say a small corrupt town run by Republicans who have lots of money...

Sorry, sorry!

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Apr 5, 2023:

Getting harder all the time to find a place to have lunch in peace....

What's my phone doing?

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Apr 5, 2023:

I just answer and tell them what a pathetic pile of shit they are....

Happy couple

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Apr 5, 2023:

Drinking that shit excuse for a beer?...

A passenger tapped his Uber driver on the shoulder to ask him a question.

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Apr 4, 2023:

Zombie Apocalypse anyone?...

Never happened to me. cough

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Apr 3, 2023:

I never have to worry about forgetting where I parked my car,.... just my ebike...

Time to stop at the Gotham Corner Bodega on the way home.

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Apr 3, 2023:

When you are at work in the middle of a busy day and your home is less than 4 blocks from the grocery store....

That should turn a few heads. ;)

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Apr 2, 2023:

He must be a Karen....

Over 100 Russian missiles hit Ukraine after peace plan announced

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Apr 2, 2023:

The reality is that the Russians have committed yet another act of terrorism against the Ukraine and Putin can't back down or he will be forced out of power and possibly either killed by Russia or turned over to to stand trial for the war crimes he has already been charged with.

I don't give them any more.

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Apr 2, 2023:

I asked into that but it didn't seem worth the cost of hiring a truck when I didn't have any to transport...

A nun is praying in her convent in rural Ireland when there is a sudden bang and a cloud of green ...

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Apr 1, 2023:

You would think the iceberg would have been a clue...

With over 8000 posts, I'm sure you can find something to offend you.

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Mar 31, 2023:

Something tells me the chances are good you will make level 10 before the site crashes and burns...

In the Honor of the indicted Donnie on this special day

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Mar 31, 2023:

His lawyer just went on the news and opened up a bucket of worms for him by claiming that Donny the Dumbass's corporate shell was "personal funds" now it no longer matters which entity they want to sue they can go after both....

Be impressed. It's quite a feat.

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Mar 30, 2023:

And are looking for shit to pull out of your ass so you can impress the peons...

Something tells me she is used to getting her way.

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Mar 30, 2023:

Somebody bit off more than he can chew....

Been in the hospital with my mom since Sunday! Hope everyone is having a good week!

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Mar 30, 2023:

Plasma torch.... Then send a bill for repairs to your floor...

Looking forward to seeing this movie.... [youtube.com]

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Mar 29, 2023:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=rLs_0h9_wXM=ffingers94

Poor guy can't catch a break

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Mar 29, 2023:

No wonder those poor guys look so exhausted just lying around all day...

For Florida

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Mar 28, 2023:

Michelangelo's David was just banned from Floriduh's schools.... https://www.npr.org/2023/03/27/1166079167/tallahassee-classical-michelangelo-david-principal-fired

Names are important.

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Mar 28, 2023:

Some of these seem a bit.... er.... flaky...

A true story

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Mar 27, 2023:

Conman the Dumbarian...

Mine is one of those tough old houses. 😆

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Mar 25, 2023:

My house is 101 years old this year....

You will see clearly

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Mar 25, 2023:

Now that is an ad that will work...

And I continue to do that to this day.

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Mar 24, 2023:

Oh noes!... Not the hamster...

That's a mouth full...

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Mar 24, 2023:

In other words.... "Don't be a Donnie Dumbass..."

2 for the price of 1...

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Mar 24, 2023:

Take the whole box at once and you will know what "blow out" really means....

Boys, it isn't a bone either.

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Mar 24, 2023:

Unless you are over eight inches long...

I'm recovering slowly.

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Mar 24, 2023:

Rules commission fines them if they wear shorts....

Why don't you believe it? Lol....

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Mar 23, 2023:

Oh please seeing that gives me an erection.... Sorry I am going to go get my Beretta and show it this picture and tell it this is what it was made for.... Cleaning the genepool....

How about you?

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Mar 23, 2023:

I do my poor best....

Sure seems like it sometimes.

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Mar 23, 2023:

Seems to be happening more and more these days.... "Somebody needs to do this in Floriduh.... [dailykos.com]"

You heard it here first

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Mar 23, 2023:

So old he makes the gods look like teenagers...

What a beautiful analogy! I get emotional.

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Mar 22, 2023:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=85cL1HisrNc=GuncannonD

Just ignore the question

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Mar 22, 2023:

Run quick, run fast, run far and for the sake of fuck don't go back....

So, that's how it's done. lol

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Mar 22, 2023:

Not this year...

"Once I saw this guy on a bridge about to jump.

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Mar 22, 2023:

With over 40,000 different Christian cults the only thing they can all agree on is that all the others are fucked....

Stuck at the laundromat, utilities are getting ridiculous! Hope you all are having a great evening!

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Mar 21, 2023:

Hey I think I have a first edition of that book...

Never mind the arm

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Mar 21, 2023:

Uhhh That one is going to be C-section....

Do you still want to sit on the couch at home and drink?

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Mar 21, 2023:

Have to be careful what that tap is dispensing....

Who's pulling the strings?

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Mar 21, 2023:

The puppet master....

This flag looks familiar.

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Mar 20, 2023:

You have dated people from Morocco?....

I couldn't resist, this is hilarious.

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Mar 20, 2023:

Well someone won't be collecting child support...

Graded by authenticity...lol

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Mar 20, 2023:

How did they know?....

A one track mind...

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Mar 20, 2023:

How blonds have more fun...

Mike is very creative.

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Mar 20, 2023:

If only it had been that easy for me growing up....

I say it's so, change my mind....

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Mar 20, 2023:

Because her ass is grass and you're the lawnmower...

I need back-up and bring coffee...

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Mar 20, 2023:

What cops won't do for a dough nut....

Who's good at math?

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Mar 20, 2023:

13.... My lucky number...

Explain no further officer.

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Mar 20, 2023:

As well as anything you don't say...

Enjoy. Don't let Monday bother you.

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Mar 20, 2023:

Fast food at Redstate wages I don't see them getting people who aren't idiots to work for them...

Enjoy. Don't let Monday bother you.

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Mar 20, 2023:

Harry Potter dealing crack....

The Meaning of Life

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Mar 18, 2023:

The answer is 42... Douglas Adams defined this in his books. 42 is ascii code and 42 stands for the * which is short for whatever you want it to mean....

It's more fun, though...

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Mar 17, 2023:

Making the rounds?

Huge sale over on Amazon!

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Mar 17, 2023:

Best use I can think of for those...

You just never know who's going to show up.

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Mar 17, 2023:

When all else fails get out the plasma torch and cut that puppy right off.... That will get her hot.

@glennlab @Garban @Lauren @Lizard_of_Ahaz I've been trying to like all of your posts, comments, so...

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Mar 17, 2023:

Microwaves heat water faster get with the times....

Filed under "Just For Laughs", No use

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Mar 17, 2023:

Hard to see how Republicans are going to justify child trafficking.... But then they always do manage for those in their camp while claiming others are the ones doing it...

A woman is showering in the upstairs of her house when she sees her husband in the yard doing yard ...

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Mar 17, 2023:

I thought she left it at the neighbor's house after using it for an extremely kinky sex session...

On PURPOSE, mind you. Y'all remember madras jackets?

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Mar 17, 2023:

Redneck Prius......

Another reason dogs are the best.

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Mar 17, 2023:

Cats don't even need to be trained in this concept...

Very accurate

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Mar 17, 2023:

Pretty much universal to any English speaking country...

I know this is a humor group but seeing the problems we are having and how little time we might have...

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Mar 16, 2023:

Since nobody is expressing opinions or interest in the project I am not going to waste time or 30K on a project that would fail.

The ducks are happy

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Mar 16, 2023:

Well all I can say to that is fuck a duck...

I love history and all it entails.

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Mar 16, 2023:

I have seen her on stage.... a great act.... she crawls out and tries to stand up...

We have a huge selection of essential oils to choose from, this seems to work best

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Mar 15, 2023:

Or ether.....

Only can help so far

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Mar 15, 2023:

Sad part is that down South he is one of the smart ones.... It is the White conservatives that are the really stupid ones....

The gender has changed

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Mar 14, 2023:

Some human women do that too the trick is to get them not to use their teeth.... Must be why women with no teeth are so popular down South....

Xavier is right

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Mar 14, 2023:

Looks like she is trying to swing from her family tree.... pun intended...

But his cousin can shop at Acme.

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Mar 14, 2023:

Is it the roadrunner route?....

I think I'll pass..... Yep, I'll pass.

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Mar 14, 2023:

That will definitely get your ass high....

This was from a retired anaesthetist friend.

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Mar 14, 2023:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=notKtAgfwDA=alyankovicVEVO

The time has come for us to venture into the void.

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Mar 14, 2023:

One of the kids playing hide and go seek?....

Where's the garlic?

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Mar 14, 2023:

I would love to find one of those... as a collectible do you have any idea what they are worth?...

For when mosquito season begins. Oh, what a fashion statement!

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Mar 13, 2023:

I have heard of fishnets but this?...

More public Service announcements for you to use.

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Mar 13, 2023:

Tried that on assbook but it backfired and I ended up with almost 4,000 followers in my friends list before I gave up....

Perfect couple...

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Mar 13, 2023:

Hung out to dry?.....

A big wet mess.

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Mar 13, 2023:

Makes her fat too...

[tiktok.com] All type of sweet babies ♥️♥️♥️♥️

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Mar 13, 2023:

Love the cat in the shower...

A lot of times, religion boils down to practicality. And desperation.

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Mar 12, 2023:

Must have heard him wrong....

Explain it to Jesus

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Mar 12, 2023:

If Jebus had ever existed and did return today Christians would be the first in line to nail him back up on a fucking cross just for shits and giggles...

A man takes his Rottweiler to the vet.

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Mar 11, 2023:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=d0aIqx1McVI=thisyourtube

Happy Saturday Afternoon! Hope you all are having a good one!

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Mar 11, 2023:

Go ahead and tell her about your 8" dick and I will tell her I have a 6" tongue then we will see who she goes home with....

Just read the sign!

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Mar 11, 2023:

Trumpanzee alert...

Christopher Titus [youtube.com]

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Mar 11, 2023:

Same things I have been saying since Ronny Raygun was in the Whorehouse....

I am so done with winter

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Mar 10, 2023:

LMAO all these Libertarians up in the mountains near me are under 10 to 15 feet of snow and it won't stop until Sunday at the earliest... Snow is so deep they can't even shovel it off their roofs so no gas or food going up again to their paradise of government not being in their faces.

Not much has changed

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Mar 9, 2023:

............

Of course, this is just my opinion, you are free to think what you will. Can't stand the guy.

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Mar 9, 2023:

Elon is full of shit, don't be like Elon...

The Bible is full of ommisions and inaccuracies

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Mar 8, 2023:

What a way to go...

Uh-oh, I'm gonna be in trouble with her... 😆

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Mar 8, 2023:

You're fucked... You're life is over..... Should have offered to iron it for her...

It might make for a better neighborhood

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Mar 8, 2023:

Should actually make it a part of Somalia.... That way nobody would notice...

Always ask your co workers what they'd like to do sometimes

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Mar 8, 2023:

Looks like puppy has been sampling the marijuana stashes he finds...

Talk about a dark side...

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Mar 8, 2023:

If he ever got into my head he would be a shivering mass of screaming flesh...

Not a nice lady I heard

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Mar 7, 2023:

AKA Putin's little bitch...

Being the historian that I am I failed to mention that March 6th was 187th anniversary of the fall ...

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Mar 7, 2023:

Ahh Texas history books.... No wonder they can't cope with real schools in other states...

Guys, you should too.

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Mar 7, 2023:

Now that is a nice rear view...

DIY - don't spend on handymen

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Mar 7, 2023:

That would be just plain scary....

Flys are horrible today.

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Mar 7, 2023:

Life is a bitch when it turns out the flies are smarter than you are...

Kamala Babble

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Mar 6, 2023:

...............

This claim though.... is unrefuted

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Mar 6, 2023:

Now that is a really stupid design....

It's a love/hate relationship

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Mar 6, 2023:

No balls....