Tuesday Evening Meme Dump!

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Jun 21, 2022:

RE: #2 it goes both ways trust me....

This would be one....

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Jun 21, 2022:

Why buy gas when you can get an electric car instead?....

I am trying to fit in, no pun

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Jun 21, 2022:

I had to go to a couple of those places for work when I was younger.... Believe me when I say the members were nothing to look at... Unless you were really into train wrecks....

His style is different

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Jun 21, 2022:

I am betting he reads as well as my sister..... She failed the GED three times after dropping out of high school. So many times over the decades I am reminded how thankful I am I was adopted....

Every American should be given one free of charge, problem solved! :-D

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Jun 21, 2022:

Just imagine a politician so dumb she endorses another who is a forced birther and pro-gun that votes in lockstep with the GQP then tries to solicit campaign donations by whining about how horrible it is that conservatives on the Supreme court are trying to overturn Roe VS Wade.... I present the "Pelosi Pistoli....."

And we are worried about gas prices...

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Jun 21, 2022:

Just call him "Buck the Cuck"

Gotta love Looney tunes...

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Jun 21, 2022:

But not when they control congress....

Johnny was voted "most likely to succeed in life"

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Jun 21, 2022:

Johnny's last name was "Carson?..."

The real world is not fairy tales... lol

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Jun 21, 2022:

Fairy tales are bad for the world as a whole....

How does that look?

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Jun 20, 2022:

Letgo my Lego....

He got a good deal.

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Jun 20, 2022:

Buy two get a free cane.... Available in white only...

Communication with children is important

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Jun 20, 2022:

And so many fathers wondered why their kids were so smart and good looking....

But it is dinner time

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Jun 20, 2022:

I get that a lot from people who are easily butthurt...

One way to do it...

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Jun 20, 2022:

I loved the joke on UHF at the board meeting... "What would my father say if he could see us today?..." "Help let me out of this box I can't breathe..."

I watched and realized I have failed in life. [youtu.be]

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Jun 20, 2022:

"Hooking the Hooker?..."

Dads are SUPPOSED to tell the same joke over and over. It's in the rule book!

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Jun 20, 2022:

I always wondered who invented microwave popcorn...

We are going to hell, sorry

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Jun 20, 2022:

Looking forward to retirement....

And you though big oil didn't care!

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Jun 20, 2022:

They are fucking people and not even bothering to send flowers....

Conservatives don't want to see the reincarnation of King Cyrus

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Jun 19, 2022:

https://youtu.be/t2mU6USTBRE Lyrics Your butt is wide, well mine is too Just watch your mouth or I'll sit on you The word is out, better treat me right 'Cause I'm the king of cellulite Ham on, ham on Ham on whole wheat, all right My zippers bust, my buckles break I'm too much man for you to take The pavement cracks when I fall down I've got more chins than Chinatown Well, I've never used a phone booth And I've never seen my toes When I'm goin' to the movies I take up seven rows Because I'm fat (fat) I'm fat, come on (really really fat) You know I'm fat (fat) I'm fat, you know it (really really fat) You know I'm fat (fat) I'm fat, come on, you know (really really fat) Don'tcha call me pudgy, portly or stout Just now tell me once again who's fat When I walk out to get my mail It measures on the Richter scale Down at the beach I'm a lucky man I'm the only one who gets a tan If I have one more pie a la mode I'm gonna need my own zip code When you're only having seconds I'm having twenty-thirds When I go to get my shoes shined I gotta take their word Because I'm fat (fat) I'm fat, come on (really really fat) You know I'm fat (fat) I'm fat, you know it (really really fat) You know I'm fat (fat) I'm fat, you know it, you know (really really fat) And my shadow weighs forty-two pounds Lemme tell you once again who's fat If you see me comin' your way Better give me plenty space If I tell you that I'm hungry Then won't you feed my face Because I'm fat (fat) I'm fat, come on (really really fat) You know I'm fat (fat) I'm fat, you know it (really really fat) You know I'm fat (fat) I'm fat, you know it, you know (really really fat) When I sit around the house I really sit around the house You know I'm fat (fat) I'm fat, come on (really really fat) You know I'm fat (fat) I'm fat, you know it, you know it (really really fat) You know, you know (fat fat) You know, come on (really really fat) And you know all by myself I'm a crowd Let me tell you once again You know I'm huge (fat) I'm fat, you know it (really really fat) You know I'm fat, you know (really really fat) You know I'm fat (fat) I'm fat, you know it (really really fat) And the whole world knows I'm fat and I'm proud Just tell me once again who's fat Source: LyricFind Songwriters: Michael Jackson Fat lyrics © Sony/ATV Music Publishing LLC Weird Al Yankovic - Fat Lyrics | AZLyrics.com https://www.azlyrics.com › W › Weird Al Yankovic Lyrics

Too hot to touch

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Jun 19, 2022:

Is that what they call a "micro-pussy?..."

The best way to measure things.

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Jun 19, 2022:

And all the variants like "as a motherfucker..."

Natural progression.

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Jun 19, 2022:

Hoping to get him started?.... or just teach him what to do?...

The animals are fighting.

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Jun 19, 2022:

I am sure once the dog sits down the cat's little prank will take effect.... Maybe he put Nair on the seat?...

All hail the peace pipe! :-D

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Jun 19, 2022:

......

Smile for the camera

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Jun 19, 2022:

Reason 6,487 why I don't drive a car.... I am afraid of running into one of those idiots...

A little knowledge is a dangerous thing

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Jun 19, 2022:

That snake will be a long time digesting him...

Best to let sleeping dogs lie

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Jun 19, 2022:

Just like people.... The less capable they are the more capable they believe they are....

Since I'm not sure what I'll be doing on the 4th of July, I thought I'd make y'all a cake

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Jun 19, 2022:

Pop rockets?.... With loaded whore heads no doubt...

Adventures of the mind.

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Jun 19, 2022:

Going to end up with one that is a bit batty that way...

It wasn't what I thought

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Jun 18, 2022:

Except for those little old ladies in front eying you like a piece of meat...

A totally different result

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Jun 18, 2022:

Catholic priests count altarboys and have the same results....

Searching for the free reverse phone number lookup websites.

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Jun 18, 2022:

Never find it on a Crapple ....

What a waste....

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Jun 18, 2022:

Poor little guy looks trashed....

We live in the same neighborhood.

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Jun 18, 2022:

Hey isn't that Barbie Q?...

YOUR LUCKY DAY The choices are many. Please pick your favorite.

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Jun 17, 2022:

Pretty much everything I do now....

My legs look like sticks.

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Jun 17, 2022:

Try butter and garlic that seems to work....

Friday's groaner...

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Jun 17, 2022:

Too much grease paint....

There has been no modern day love story like this

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Jun 17, 2022:

Putin is now claiming Russia is an imperial country so he can be a king.... I guess that makes Donny Dumbass a queen right?....

The Late Show with Stephen Colbert - Colbert Comedy ColdOpens Lauren Boebert's Jesus Christ ...

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Jun 17, 2022:

Nutjobs like her are why I feel the need to own a gun of my own....

Well, this may come as a shock to some, but I decided to sue my cat Smokey (below) for $228,000.

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Jun 17, 2022:

Problem is you will be paid back in cat shit.... everywhere you turn will be a payment.

Anyone else out there with similar problems? hic

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Jun 16, 2022:

Prevent blood clots and drink more beer....

Way to start out on the right foot.

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Jun 16, 2022:

Then you find out later it couldn't have been him because he has a small dick....

My philosophy of life

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Jun 16, 2022:

The secret to staying out of jail is don't get caught....

Imagine being so worked up over a pride parade you feel compelled to get in a UHaul with a bunch of ...

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Jun 16, 2022:

Not to mention ending up in a bondage situation at the end of the ride....

Just saying it might happen to you.

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Jun 16, 2022:

Don't I wish....

I am not going back there...

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Jun 15, 2022:

For the one on the left they should have had a Catholic Priest.....

The truth will save you

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Jun 15, 2022:

At least they were honest....

If You Can't Handle Comedy...STAY HOME! | Titus Podcast [youtube.com]

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Jun 15, 2022:

If you can't take a joke you might just be one.....

I don't know what I would order in a restaurant in China.

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Jun 15, 2022:

Something vegetarian for me from what I have heard of their meat industry there....

I think it is clear but only to some....

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Jun 14, 2022:

This is for the guy who parks under a tree for the shade then complains about the birds that shit on his car....

Can we settle what's moray?

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Jun 14, 2022:

When that eel in the reef thinks you are beef that's a Moray....

He is gonna be a deadbeat dad

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Jun 14, 2022:

Surprised he lived long enough to respond.....

I see a country song in there somewhere.

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Jun 14, 2022:

What happens to your inflatable doll when you have a needle dick....

I hope I win, I need to go shopping.

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Jun 14, 2022:

Now that is a huge jackpot....

Relax. 🎶 So, fa, so good. 😆

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Jun 14, 2022:

The sound of muszak

I always wondered.

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Jun 14, 2022:

Actually it is a idiot who wasted a lot of money taking a useful work vehicle and turning it into an expensive off road vehicle they never take off road..... and of course it chews up expensive tires as well as over stressing the steering gear and drive train so not only is it undependable and expensive to maintain but useless as a work vehicle anymore. All that to compensate for having a tiny dick...

I am getting there - slowly but surely.

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Jun 14, 2022:

And here we always thought masturbation made you blind....

There’s always something in the bottom of the freezer that never seems to get taken out

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Jun 14, 2022:

The couple that slays together stays together....

There’s always something in the bottom of the freezer that never seems to get taken out

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Jun 14, 2022:

First wife I bet.....

That'll work!

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Jun 13, 2022:

With prices what they are today that would result in them being kidnapped...

I have just got to see the female version of this thing! :-D

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Jun 13, 2022:

Be careful what you ask for....

It's Monday again!!! 😓🤣🤣🤣

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Jun 13, 2022:

When the A/C in your car goes out on the way to the store.....

NO HANDS Magician FOOLS Penn & Teller With Sleight of Hand!?

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Jun 13, 2022:

I would hate to play poker with that guy for money.....

Optimist of the year....

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Jun 13, 2022:

Utterly shocking....

Lions, tigers and bears....

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Jun 13, 2022:

Well "Oh my...."

I heard a rumor that a group of native americans want to open a nudist resort and they want to call ...

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Jun 13, 2022:

And their mascot will be the Hamm's bare.....

Tough spot to be in.

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Jun 13, 2022:

Has anyone ever stopped to wonder why they call it a "rectory?"

He has that fear, I don't

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Jun 13, 2022:

Sad what he is missing out on...

Have you ever noticed it?

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Jun 13, 2022:

Yeah I know a lot of people like that.... Makes it fun to see them lose it completely.

Let's make the list longer! 😆

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Jun 12, 2022:

While I was out I saw one on a tee shirt today...... "2022 classic Chevy pick up..."

Let's make the list longer! 😆

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Jun 12, 2022:

Ethical politician

Let's make the list longer! 😆

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Jun 12, 2022:

Sure bet

Let's make the list longer! 😆

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Jun 12, 2022:

Common Sense

Let's make the list longer! 😆

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Jun 12, 2022:

The party of the left.....

Let's make the list longer! 😆

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Jun 12, 2022:

Religious education

Betty Zingers! [m.youtube.com]

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Jun 12, 2022:

I can only hope that I am in that good of shape at her age...

It is a sad story

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Jun 11, 2022:

Every time I see candidates like Pelosi or Manchin or any other conservative fraudsters running for office I expect less than nothing and the only thing that disappoints me is that people are stupid enough to vote for them....

So that's where the military gets ideas from...

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Jun 11, 2022:

Actually that is where COVID comes from..... It originated from the MERS virus carried by Dromedaries AKA Camels.

Uh? City must mean something here

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Jun 11, 2022:

Typical government thinking.... This is right so let's not do it that way.

I suppose I knew my place.

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Jun 11, 2022:

And women who think like this wonder why their marriages so often end in divorce.....

I wasn't drunk after all

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Jun 11, 2022:

"On your knees and pray for I am holey cat....."

My cat would've insisted that I also open the front door so as to prove that it is raining on both ...

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Jun 11, 2022:

Your cat is looking for the door into summer....

A nun, desperately needing to use the restroom, walked into a local bar.

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Jun 11, 2022:

Someone needs to smack her hand with a ruler....

An innocent surprise

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Jun 11, 2022:

In other words "prayers didn't work....

I’m now officially a militant atheist.

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Jun 11, 2022:

Never lose your temper it is not worth it. I would have taken his pamphlet, wiped my ass with it and handed it back telling him he was a pathetic little brainwashed worm who was reinforcing his own insecurities about his beliefs by trying to force them on others and as such needed intensive mental health counseling. Doing that leaves them with one less piece of garbage hate literature to victimize someone with and hopefully either a stroke or a sever reluctance to try his scam on others.

Sin frequently, for Christ’s sake.

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Jun 10, 2022:

Just call me "Sinbad Lee..."

So a stoner, a whoremonger, and an alcoholic are all on the bus together when they get in a fatal ...

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Jun 10, 2022:

Now that would be hell....

I'll have to agree with him.

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Jun 10, 2022:

I would vote for him...

Is this deductible?

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Jun 10, 2022:

Send one to the worthless asshole political hack of your choice....

Oh.... It didn't turn out that way.

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Jun 10, 2022:

Not to mention rioting conservatives spreading deadly viruses.....

A horse goes to the vet complaining about stomach pains.

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Jun 10, 2022:

GQP tested and approved....

Ever been here? It does not sound good.

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Jun 10, 2022:

I try to avoid Redneck Delicatessens......

That'll keep ya hummin'!

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Jun 10, 2022:

100 degrees here today and baked enough without it....

Now that’s some righteous crap!

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Jun 10, 2022:

....

Truth be told, this is how it really is.

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Jun 10, 2022:

They should be required to stream that during their entire broadcast....

Hi, I am your new cheaper Uber.

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Jun 10, 2022:

Just horsing around.....

Not the future we imagined as kids.

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Jun 10, 2022:

Why not take advantage and piss off the people who come on after the robot to annoy them in return?...

Come on don't be so rigid!!!

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Jun 10, 2022:

And if she had been a snow woman?....

Fireworks!

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Jun 9, 2022:

Talk about going out with a bang....

Grammar teachers have been telling us.

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Jun 9, 2022:

It's = it is Its = possessive form