Santa not so nice

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Dec 25, 2022:

All hail Satan Claws....

FFS! IT'S CHRISTMAS

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Dec 25, 2022:

Trust me I have worse in my playlist....

The Reality Dose

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Dec 25, 2022:

If only these snowflake Trumpanzees would learn that....

Glory! [youtu.be]

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Dec 25, 2022:

With 4 counts related to the Jan 6th insurrection attempt alone for the fat turd he is going to have a very unhappy new year...

Just a dollar ninety nine!

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Dec 24, 2022:

I hear tell he was a sperm whale....

The real holiday spirit

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Dec 24, 2022:

It's Kosher!....

Guy walks into a library and asks the librarian for a book on committing suicide She responds ...

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Dec 24, 2022:

You will find those in the reference section...

😆😆😆　　　　　　　　　　

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Dec 24, 2022:

Or banging their wife....

An atheist dies and goes to hell The devil welcomes him and says:"Let me show you around a little...

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Dec 24, 2022:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=TytGOeiW0aE

While many of you are shivering we are up to a balmy 34.

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Dec 24, 2022:

Where I live it is in the mid 60s' today do I have to wear a jacket outside...

He will go atheist soon

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Dec 24, 2022:

I have orange trees in my yard they even grow their own ornaments...

A rare picture...

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Dec 24, 2022:

That poor bear is doomed...

JESUS: Before this day is over you will deny me three times. PETER: Really?

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Dec 24, 2022:

Stupidly Transmitted Disease?....

Why are "non contact sports" athletes such great actors?

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Dec 23, 2022:

Because they aren't drama mamas...

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Dec 23, 2022:

Murican Taliband....

Ok so you all know about Elf on a shelf but did you know about....

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Dec 23, 2022:

For a group that is supposed to be about humor we seem to be seeing a sever lack of it here today don't we?....

A little winter humor

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Dec 22, 2022:

Snow is wonderful on a fucking postcard.....

This time of year it is tough to eat a healthful diet, here's a tip.

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Dec 22, 2022:

Like drinking the milk out of your frosted flakes then pouring them back into the box.... Corn Flakes are healthy for you...

Posting for a friend that has 3 elementary aged rugrats at home

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Dec 22, 2022:

I highly endorse 190 proof Everclear....

Any takers out there?

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Dec 22, 2022:

Looking for "Biggus Dickus?..."

The difference is real, What has been your experience?

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Dec 22, 2022:

The one on the right would have been my mother but it is missing the clouds of smoke...

Or whatever you call it, some guys just name it anything

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Dec 22, 2022:

Shhhhh don't let @St-Sinner know it is supposed to be a surprise!

Take your time and be patient.

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Dec 22, 2022:

Went to a store the other day and it reminded me why I prefer shopping online. Parents are letting their little animals run loose and open toys then scattering them all over the store. Tis the season for slip and trip lawsuits falalala lalala....

JESUS: Dad, how do you plan on sending me down to earth?

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Dec 22, 2022:

Biblical sex education....

How many Southern Baptists does it take to screw in a lightbulb?

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Dec 21, 2022:

He must be a Baptist.... https://www.reddit.com/r/blackmagicfuckery/comments/fv3fdc/magical_ass_bulb/?utm_source=share=web2x=3

How many Southern Baptists does it take to screw in a lightbulb?

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Dec 21, 2022:

Well it lit up this guy's life... https://www.documentingreality.com/forum/f149/doctors-withdraw-60-volt-bulb-patient-anus-150091/

Worse than getting whacked?

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Dec 21, 2022:

Yep Alex Jones is getting real desperate.....

MINION: Jesus, we don't have enough food! We only have two fish and five loaves of bread! JESUS: I ...

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Dec 21, 2022:

I always found that story a bit.... er... fishy...

Cleanup on isle 45

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Dec 21, 2022:

He is like a big, fat aerosol can of ketchup...

Messi fever [youtube.com]

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Dec 21, 2022:

...

Imagine that!!!

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Dec 21, 2022:

Worse things than soap he could have put in your mouth....

I think that was '73 or '74

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Dec 20, 2022:

When does the movie come out?....

Looks like a revenge child. Someone had it in for him.

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Dec 20, 2022:

*Gets a huge bowl of popcorn and sits back to watch the fun...*

Not a good time for low level flights over open country

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Dec 20, 2022:

Damn it Texas you are supposed to have clearance lights on those windmills...

A word of warning should be sufficient

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Dec 20, 2022:

No biggie this time of year I answer calls from anyone I don't know "Satan's Hotline how may I tempt you?..."

Another Cajun story.

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Dec 20, 2022:

Tell him that the turkey told him to stuff it one too many times...

What, you never been toasted

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Dec 20, 2022:

In bread dog....

That is one horny woodchuck.

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Dec 19, 2022:

I bet he fucks it so chuckin hard that wood disappears....

Early lessons are important

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Dec 19, 2022:

Except it is not a joke...

Not sure where to put this.

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Dec 19, 2022:

With luck the MAGAts will all stop marrying and reproducing....

Just know this

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Dec 19, 2022:

Remember that....

The dog has a Christmas wish

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Dec 19, 2022:

Just a wee bit late on that one....

Don't put the nation in danger

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Dec 19, 2022:

I know of no Republicans who use their brains do you?....

Freaking Conservatives and their Freaky Jesus

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Dec 19, 2022:

Bunch of hypocritical stupid inbred bastards ain't they?...

That's why I like America, plenty of food.

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Dec 19, 2022:

She would have the same problem under fascism....

Texas does not read much

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Dec 18, 2022:

I am curious how many Texans would actually believe this....

Amazon's drone delivery pilot test has failed in FL

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Dec 18, 2022:

What he couldn't afford a shotgun?....

That sums it up.

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Dec 18, 2022:

Getting old sucks...

Happy Sunday!!!! 🥳 🍺🎉

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Dec 18, 2022:

LOL I don't get icicles here but I have a source in China that can ship me red food color in 55 gallon drums if I want it....

Proof - God created Satan

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Dec 18, 2022:

Cannibalism or boobies?..... Hummmmm which should I do...

Amazon reaches out to all sorts of customers. 😆

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Dec 18, 2022:

No returns on that one....

[tiktok.com] Teachers , amazing critters , most of them ♥️🙌♥️

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Dec 18, 2022:

Words kids learn in church....

I'll let myself out...

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Dec 18, 2022:

If there was such a thing I would probably be on my 5th or 6th right now....

A dog with a bandage walks into a saloon.

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Dec 18, 2022:

Poor son of a bitch... what a sorry tail.

Happy Holidays! [v16m-webapp.tiktokcdn-us.com]

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Dec 18, 2022:

I have Satan Claws running around my house...

I hope he delivers this year.

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Dec 17, 2022:

Good luck with that one and please don't send pictures....

I am not going

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Dec 17, 2022:

Lorena Bobbitt lives there....

As if we haven't had enough bad weather this year?

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Dec 16, 2022:

What you get living in Texas.... After all education there is not a priority...

You wanna to zoom in?

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Dec 16, 2022:

I will take a dozen gross....

Merry Christmas y'all

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Dec 16, 2022:

Looks like their family tree is bamboo...

Father Pat was visited last night

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Dec 16, 2022:

There are times when I look at him and people like him and think to myself... "I would love to sew this jerks mouth to his/her asshole so the only one who had to deal with the shit spewing from his/her mouth is him/her..."

I'm glad there's a group for that, kind of an AA for vegans.

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Dec 16, 2022:

Been thinking of opening a virgin recovery center myself...

Absolutely not

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Dec 16, 2022:

Wait until she offers him a Pabst Beer Bong....

You should be happy every day

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Dec 16, 2022:

I will take what made Putin attack the Ukraine for 500 Alex....

You've got problems?

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Dec 16, 2022:

Keeping it in the family....

This is no different than the derivative collapse, the S&L collapse or any of the ponsi type ...

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Dec 16, 2022:

Yeah big surprise they can't get their money back from the Federal Reserve huh?.... Kind of like buying Twitter stock now that Elon is is charge and wondering why you lost so much money...

I can't even

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Dec 16, 2022:

You know without asking people who believe shit like this dropped out of school in the third grade at 16....

Damned, Santa is judgmental

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Dec 16, 2022:

Thank you very much and fuck you too Satan Claws....

Some people just don't like xmas. Who knew?

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Dec 16, 2022:

The sides of Christmas often seen....

Mrs. Betty Bowers [youtube.com]

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Dec 16, 2022:

Little girl; "What is a virgin?..." Redstate answer; "An ugly 8 year old without a brother..."

A romantic story

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Dec 16, 2022:

How about that she has a 2 minute man.... She can use him to time a soft boiled egg....

Hidden in plain sight

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Dec 16, 2022:

5 quarts each....

He was right on so many things

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Dec 16, 2022:

When the rich own the media and your elected officials and you voted for someone like Trump because you think he is different you really are a moron....

All hat, no cattle

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Dec 16, 2022:

Why electric cars don't sell in Texas....

At least he went to the support group meeting.

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Dec 16, 2022:

Santa is a stalker....

Should I, should I not?

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Dec 15, 2022:

I hope she doesn't mean eat crow....

Phew, he was worried

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Dec 15, 2022:

How to get rid of the undesirable ones....

Just When You Thought Trump Couldn't Get More Ridicules, Think Again.... [youtube.com]

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Dec 15, 2022:

https://youtu.be/xXqVOVEW1iM?t=1615

Just When You Thought Trump Couldn't Get More Ridicules, Think Again.... [youtube.com]

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Dec 15, 2022:

$4,500 bucks for a chance to have a McDonalds dinner with Donny the Dumbass?....

Easily understandable decision this! :-D

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Dec 15, 2022:

Holy shit it looks like he married Popeye...

Everyone has their own perspective, which is why making assumptions may not be the best approach...

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Dec 15, 2022:

And by the end of the first date he is thinking "Gad I wish she would shut up...."

Cruel but yummy

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Dec 15, 2022:

Shouldn't that be "Deep Frying Nemo?"

There's always an opportunity to make a little dough ray me, money. lol

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Dec 15, 2022:

Pet insurance.... https://aftertherapturepetcare.com/ Duh no more than the rapture is... https://www.npr.org/sections/thetwo-way/2012/03/22/149139158/looks-like-that-post-rapture-pet-walking-company-was-a-hoax

He was a fighter

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Dec 14, 2022:

If the hair color was red that would have been my ex-wife...

A nun and a priest are crossing the Sahara desert on a camel.

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Dec 14, 2022:

There goes a priest who ain't getting nun...

Very simple but most get it very late

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Dec 14, 2022:

Which was why I stopped keeping cash in my wallet while I was married... While I was sleeping she would steal it all then when I went to lunch I had to go to the bank to withdraw money first...

They really didn't think this through.

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Dec 14, 2022:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3KvgQIBcdRk

They really didn't think this through.

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Dec 14, 2022:

You know you might be a Redneck when...

They really didn't think this through.

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Dec 14, 2022:

Parody of redneck repair jobs....

Sound advice or just sounds like advice? :-D

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Dec 14, 2022:

Until the bus broke down huh?...

Come on, who wants some? lol

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Dec 14, 2022:

Donating my share to the Russian troops invading Ukraine....

When is Christmas over, people are too into this time of year, I wanna puke! 😫 ...

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Dec 13, 2022:

Gad some people are such whiny little babies.... I would have told them "that is what your mom calls me as it slides in... "Oh please more rectal grease...""

If only it were that easy

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Dec 13, 2022:

This is what is commonly called a "twofer..."

It's like they were separated at birth

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Dec 13, 2022:

Obviously from good fashion sense....

Did you miss this?

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Dec 13, 2022:

Thankfully yes....

Ok, I got this, now what?

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Dec 13, 2022:

Laugh at Mark Fuckerberg because this is why he lost 700 billion last year...

Gasp! 🥶🥶🥶

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Dec 13, 2022:

Anal season too for women with cold feet...

Safety First!!!

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Dec 13, 2022:

Reindeer love....

A preacher was making his rounds to his parishioners on a bicycle, when he came upon a little boy ...

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Dec 13, 2022:

Kid is lucky it wasn't a Catholic priest or he would have been the one getting fucked....

I hope I never get that old.

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Dec 13, 2022:

With my knees I am already there....