Oh dang! Lol

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Jul 29, 2021:

A Pirate's life for me....

Exactly wrong place

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Jul 29, 2021:

I just love posting the bible quotes they hate instead.... They usually end up blocking me so it's all good....

How does it flush? 🤔

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Jul 29, 2021:

Can't even take a shit in peace with Moses around....

The height of irony isn't it

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Jul 29, 2021:

....................

I am happy to do it too

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Jul 29, 2021:

Are those C-5As still flying?... I say give em all a free ride to Afghanistan with their weapons and dump em off for the Talaban to take care of...

Helping people makes me happy

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Jul 28, 2021:

Where do I volunteer?....

Will it never end???

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Jul 28, 2021:

......................

Like "Jeez, this guy's grammar is terrible!" 😂

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Jul 28, 2021:

"Fucking idiot makes no sense at all why does he have my contact info?...."

the person who came up with this deserves a bonus.

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Jul 28, 2021:

Hard as steel....

Medieval texting.

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Jul 27, 2021:

Looks like we are heading towards this thanks to the billionaire class...

New version...

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Jul 27, 2021:

"Keeping with the last post's theme maybe he just needed a little advice.... [youtu.be]"

very smart move.

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Jul 27, 2021:

LOL and when they do catch him it is going to really cost...

Different kind of dance

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Jul 27, 2021:

..................

A little dark humor...

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Jul 26, 2021:

I have four indoor only cats and a yard cat who I love dearly and spend a lot of money caring for yet I still had a chuckle over this.... But if I actually saw someone do this I would have to dispose of a body...

But she's the proof of evolution

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Jul 26, 2021:

https://youtu.be/Qkuu0Lwb5EM

Another Gervais...

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Jul 26, 2021:

....................

I'd do it for the free mask.

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Jul 26, 2021:

A SAM would have been far cheaper and amused a lot more people if you ask me.... I know I would have found it a barrel full of belly laughs....

They work get yours

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Jul 26, 2021:

On the bright side look at all the idiots that are taking themselves out of the gene pool....

Look at the other dog lol

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Jul 26, 2021:

Are you sure it is his nipples he is thinking of?....

Are you thoughtful in buying gifts?

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Jul 26, 2021:

Suburban camouflage...

Which, unfortunately, isn't all that common...

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Jul 26, 2021:

We can see...

My friend had too many beers

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Jul 26, 2021:

So my guess is your friend has never been married and is probably a 60+ year old virgin besides?...

Proud Papa,,,,

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Jul 25, 2021:

Did I just hear banjo music?.....

Did I say it right?

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Jul 25, 2021:

Best thing you could ask for on any online dating site....

Following the dalai llama or the Wooly Savior?

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Jul 24, 2021:

Sounds like the majority if the human race... Sheeple following their version of a prophet...

Marjorie Taylor Greene won’t say if she’s been vaccinated.

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Jul 24, 2021:

My guess is she refused the rabies vaccine saying it would mutate her into a human being...

Employers are now asking, “who won the 2020 election” in interviews to weed out the crazies.

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Jul 24, 2021:

We should pass a federal law preventing domestic terrorists from holding any position in government even as a contractor... Then declare all Trump's followers the domestic terrorists that they are... No buy, no fly, and no government funding...

Sounds like a plan

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Jul 24, 2021:

Or better yet a nice Muslim boy....

In a nutshell , that's MAGA

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Jul 24, 2021:

.................

He'd give you two thumbs up, but, well...

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Jul 24, 2021:

https://youtu.be/1ihy2cP2ilE

I thought it was Satan planting the fossils???

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Jul 24, 2021:

Is this what is known as a Q-theory?....

Getting ready for a hot wax...

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Jul 24, 2021:

Probably the shit between his ears.... The best thing about being bald is you don't need a comb, brush, hair dryer or barber....

Definitely need instructions , if MAGA can't read anyway

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Jul 23, 2021:

........................

Will they bake or cremate ?

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Jul 23, 2021:

My guess is he didn't rise to the occasion....

That I knew lol

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Jul 23, 2021:

I found the best way to reprimand kids in the store was when they start acting up I just look at someone who looks offended nearby and say.... "neighbors kid(s)..."

Yeah can be obsessive about it

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Jul 23, 2021:

My sister is always insulted because I keep telling her she makes shit coffee... When you drink a 50/50 mix of that sludge they sell in the stores as "creamer" you don't know what coffee is supposed to taste like....

I am sure it would

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Jul 23, 2021:

It would help me lose weight though because I despise grapefruit....

A good argument for tighter firearm restrictions? :-D

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Jul 23, 2021:

More even better reasons...

Oh O!!!! Lol

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Jul 23, 2021:

What is his stage name "Hung Harry" or "Big Peter?"

Yes he did

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Jul 23, 2021:

Not that it takes much effort to destroy Rand Paul he is even more of a stupid bigot than his father was....

That sounds like Walmart

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Jul 23, 2021:

What do you say to compliment a Redneck beauty queen?... Nice tooth....

Yup try that

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Jul 23, 2021:

https://vimeo.com/577902405

Don't throw your toys.

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Jul 23, 2021:

Poor cat is looking like "pick up your toys already I need a place to take a nap..." Open up a used toy store and that person could retire...

In Portuguese vaccine is spelled vacina, this is quite the Typo for national TV! :-D

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Jul 23, 2021:

Maybe if we put up signs outside vaccination clinics saying "Free Vagina" more people would get vaccinated....

Close enough.

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Jul 23, 2021:

Funny isn't it how those least likely to take these jobs are the ones who want to build a wasteful wall to keep these people out... And of course won't do what they think it will...

You have to make your own rhythm.

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Jul 22, 2021:

How cold....

DDT is so safe, you can sprinkle it on your cornflakes. [youtu.be]

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Jul 22, 2021:

Win with Darwin....

A busy road

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Jul 22, 2021:

You can always tell who the workers is.... he is the guy who has the shovel he leans on all day....

Are you a nightmare dinner guest? I scored zero. 😁

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Jul 22, 2021:

14 some for dietary and food safety reasons (I avoid fish because much of it is contaminated anymore) Nutella I avoid all products of that company because they are one of the largest supporters of child slavery in the world.

R U Qualified???

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Jul 22, 2021:

States should require corporations that do this to give a 5% discount on items bought in those lanes....

"And the next day the miracle occurred - crucifixion, resurrection, and he rose again from the dead ...

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Jul 21, 2021:

https://youtu.be/PXeSgVk5aH4

Teal life terminator

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Jul 21, 2021:

Proctologist... because he is a pain in the ass....

(Cartoonist Serge Chapeleau, La Presse, Montreal)

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Jul 21, 2021:

Too bad it didn't leave a hole in the ground when he landed...

That scares them lol

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Jul 20, 2021:

................

HR, do you care about your valued emloyees?

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Jul 20, 2021:

I would enjoy helping her with that....

Cheaper than therapy.

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Jul 20, 2021:

Therapy shouldn't be expensive. It is always easier to work out your problems when you actually know what they are...

Dad joke alert! Just treading along, tired but thinking it's been a Goodyear so far. 😆

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Jul 20, 2021:

365 used rubbers is a very good year....

Back in the day...

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Jul 20, 2021:

We put together a fun cart frame with a 25HP engine... The kid who was clocking us backed off at 60 MPH while it was still accelerating...

&, honestly, all the religion stories sound silly as hell...

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Jul 19, 2021:

As well as boringly repetitious....

But I won't do that...

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Jul 19, 2021:

*Vomits profusely*

It's my theory most religions are invented BS...(ok, all of them)

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Jul 19, 2021:

If you consider each religion as an individual case they you do have a series of facts that make a valid theory...

She told me too

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Jul 19, 2021:

Groceries?....

Who needs exercise or steroids !

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Jul 18, 2021:

The scourge of online dating...

No high hopes here

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Jul 18, 2021:

GQP campaign sign?....

Eyes on the prize

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Jul 18, 2021:

Only real problem there is vision care....

Not ordering from that Chinese restaurant again

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Jul 18, 2021:

https://youtu.be/Z8zEfYbsrr0

Sure, i believe you

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Jul 18, 2021:

Translation...: "I am tired of going to the mall and having everyone say I ate Taylor Swift..."

Disappointed

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Jul 18, 2021:

........................

Definitely dark

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Jul 18, 2021:

.......................

That didn't go very well

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Jul 18, 2021:

................

Just did it

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Jul 18, 2021:

...................

Someone's in trouble!!!

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Jul 18, 2021:

The Babble says you should "love thy neighbor..." but he may have taken it a bit to literally.

Very handy item

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Jul 18, 2021:

Baseball bats are an excellent tool for knocking some sense into a Klan member...

Makes a lot of sense to everyone

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Jul 17, 2021:

embarrassing when you fart so hard you blow yourself out of the sky....

Gene pool...

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Jul 17, 2021:

Gene Quintano...

She wanted an honest man

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Jul 17, 2021:

I think the youngest is actually "Pin Pricks..."

Dont want rice

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Jul 17, 2021:

......................

Love my life

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Jul 17, 2021:

Aaaah the good life....

No free ride

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Jul 17, 2021:

........................

Life is a

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Jul 17, 2021:

I used to drink it just like that....

Oldie but goodie...

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Jul 17, 2021:

As if that was the worst of those old ads...

An oldie but a goodie ( easy to believe!)...

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Jul 17, 2021:

As John Bolton put it... "Trump isn't capable of staging a coup...

Surprise. surprise...

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Jul 17, 2021:

My guess is somebody is is joining the ranks of the unemployed and homeless really soon...

I always loved this LP cover, & it was a funny, trippy listen, too!

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Jul 17, 2021:

I used to listen to them every Sunday night along with DR Demento and Flo and Eddie by the fireside on KMET in LA....

Is Astrology a real thing?

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Jul 17, 2021:

Astrology is not a science nor is it real. It was invented by philosophers around the third century BCE to con rulers into hiring them for important advisory posts in their courts. Of course ignorant rulers considered them wise because they "consulted the stars" to give them commonsense (and more often outrageously stupid based in personal greed) answers. Astrology allows the practitioner to fleece the ignorant by using generalized "predictions" which most often could apply to anyone and is cases where more detailed "predictions" are required for a specific mark by studying the information available on said victim. it is no different from the Gypsy palm readers who con victims out of tens of thousands of dollars telling them the money is "cursed" and to bring it to them to be "cleansed" then wrap it up in a piece of cloth, say a few words of hocus pocus then instruct the victim to take the money home and wait three days sleeping with it under their pillow. Of course when the victim finally does unwrap this money they find out they just gave this conartist a three day head start and they have already opened up shop in another state looking for the next chump. Astrologers, palm readers, priests, snake oil salesmen, Nigerian scammers, love scammers and all the rest should be treated with contempt as the criminals they are...

You may find yourself

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Jul 16, 2021:

J.A.T.O. unit.... https://youtu.be/enzDKTkK_Eg

Should I follow my mom's advice 🤔

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Jul 16, 2021:

Emergency funds?...

Gotta love a good mash-up

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Jul 16, 2021:

Sounds like Bill Cosby... Puddin it where it don't belong...

Seen that before

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Jul 16, 2021:

You should never wear stretch pants over something as large as Uranus....

Imagine all the....

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Jul 16, 2021:

Sheeple?....

Total lack of self-awareness

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Jul 16, 2021:

I wonder if they see it?...

Morning all...

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Jul 16, 2021:

I have four cats that weigh somewhere around a total of 60+ pounds... I think the injuries from them in full attack mode would have any burglar begging to be shot...

Give him room, stay in your lane...

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Jul 15, 2021:

So that is @BDair head.... Now it all makes sense...

Texts & auto-corrects...

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Jul 15, 2021:

Problem is these are an actual representation of the average mentality in the world today... which explains why things are so fucked up.

Shh, we're hunting the ewusive taco. Be vewy, vewy quiet...

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Jul 15, 2021:

Funny how Libertarians always seem to be the most dependent on the same society they loudly proclaim they could do without....

Viagra does work

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Jul 15, 2021:

.....................

So alone, so lonely.

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Jul 14, 2021:

Kind of funny isn't it how even when living with family or in a roommate situation with several people you always seem to feel on guard or alone...

Disney

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Jul 14, 2021:

....................

An apt description of them

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Jul 14, 2021:

.....................

My new hobby.

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Jul 14, 2021:

One way to get rid of hunters....