I'm wasting my time, ain't I...?

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Jan 6, 2023:

Define normal...

Pope's last wish

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Jan 6, 2023:

Who says you can't take your kiddie porn with you when you were a pope....

He loves fishing

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Jan 6, 2023:

Looks like he went fishing in a TJ donkey show....

Best spokesman ever

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Jan 6, 2023:

I heard he retired and became a burrito....

Yes, it's Walmart

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Jan 6, 2023:

When you run out of toilet paper there is always Walmart tongue shirts

Sure they're Dolly Parton fans

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Jan 6, 2023:

How do we know that Dolly Parton doesn't love DP? Has anyone bothered to ask?...

Monty Python Penis Song

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Jan 5, 2023:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_Wq0tjjVCNM

Something peculiar

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Jan 5, 2023:

Die Hard 6.....

Normal day in retirement

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Jan 5, 2023:

A 5 groan rating on that one....

Seems accurate.

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Jan 5, 2023:

Between my knees and back just walking is a victory...

An alternative to shrooms. Not right in the head. 😆

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Jan 5, 2023:

New nickname is "squirt..."

Do you like motorcycles? I have a good news for you.

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Jan 5, 2023:

I found the perfect helmet for you to wear while trying to ride that thing it is bound to get you laid...

Dear Friend, After a careful consideration of your performance in 2022, I have decided to extend ...

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Jan 5, 2023:

This coming from a guy who lives in Texas is to put it mildly *ironic* as all fucking get out...

I was just thinking this very same thing.

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Jan 5, 2023:

I am more a spanker than a spankee....

Some folks just got to rebel yell!

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Jan 5, 2023:

Usually it is a Redneck girl shortly after saying "Hold ma beer and watch dis..."

Dog, service stations are nasty!

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Jan 5, 2023:

The only ones worse are the ones where instead of using the paper seat protectors the place supplies they just hold their asses a foot over the seat and shit all over everything....

Now, thats my kinda kid, unless it's me that wants to make out.

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Jan 5, 2023:

Kids love putting a crimp in your love life.... and people wonder why so many marriages end in divorce...

I was never big on Tacos, butt.......

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Jan 5, 2023:

Texass Tacos probably from Waco....

I told Siri to just shut up the other day.

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Jan 4, 2023:

Don't ever make financial transactions with your phone and be careful when shopping online. Always vet the sires you are buying from and make sure the site has policies in place that prevent fraud so you can get your money back if the products are mot delivered or as advertised. The ones I buy on are ebay and Aliexpress. There are a few others for specialty items as well. Oh and those online tax preparation websites? Don't use them unless you want to have them selling your personal information to every website willing to pony up a couple bucks. One of the biggest buyers is Facebook so they can resell it often to skeezy outfits and scammers.

Do you like motorcycles? I have a good news for you.

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Jan 4, 2023:

As a guy I knew once said in a biker bar shortly before he and his 4 friends beat the crap out of three times as many bikers (I just backed into a corner and tried to survive...) "No wonder they call them *Hog Riders* look at the pigs they are with..."

Men really are simple shit.

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Jan 4, 2023:

Reason two I like.... reason one not so much...

Nobody Knows

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Jan 3, 2023:

The previous Bush (Prescott) aided Hitler's rise to power and allegedly was involved in the "Businessman's plot" to overthrow the US government...

And now it is the first work day of the new year and everyone is complaining about the pounds they ...

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Jan 3, 2023:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=t2mU6USTBRE

Just relax, I still chuckle

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Jan 3, 2023:

Only way the human race will mature enough is if the universe suddenly enters a state of complete entropy...

It may help

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Jan 3, 2023:

Dr. Facebook is that you?...

Oops, forgot the filters

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Jan 3, 2023:

Internet dating is a curse...

And now it is the first work day of the new year and everyone is complaining about the pounds they ...

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Jan 3, 2023:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_80smRJprX0

It has baffled us all for centuries.

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Jan 3, 2023:

The egg wins by over 650,000,000 years...

A lady was showing her dog at all of the local shows but despite having a tremendous dog, she never ...

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Jan 3, 2023:

And don't have sex either....

Hold my beer.

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Jan 3, 2023:

UK welfare collectors the next generation...

I can't sleep, my mom is having a procedure today, hopefully it goes well!

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Jan 3, 2023:

In situations like this it is always best to prepare for the worst and hope for the best... Hopefully you get the best.

You have the right to look away

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Jan 2, 2023:

Please stop posting pictures of your feet I am trying to eat this week...

Agree, I suffer a lot

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Jan 2, 2023:

Most people in this world have far less commonsense than the average pile of dogshit....

What have you been smoking? Oh, wait...

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Jan 2, 2023:

Looks like the landscaping in about 1/3 of the homes where I live...

Perfect Tee....

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Jan 2, 2023:

Yeah that was me alright....

This guy again? Dog!

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Jan 1, 2023:

Score one for the real man....

We did the best we could, didn't we?

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Jan 1, 2023:

Winning the lotto would bring the other two...

Hey we guys aren't perfect!

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Jan 1, 2023:

Oh my never gain a reputation as a minuteman....

I'd be really freaking quiet about it....

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Jan 1, 2023:

Ask her sister what you should do.... Hope she answers both...

Who says the magic is gone?

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Jan 1, 2023:

...

Happy Hangover Day 🙃 🙂 😌

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Jan 1, 2023:

Next time I get a scammer text I am doing to send them that mom joke....

[youtu.be] The pope is dead. Long live the pope

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Jan 1, 2023:

Sometimes it is a shame hell isn't real....

This will protect everyone in 2023 from any mutated variants of any viruses.

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Jan 1, 2023:

And the people stupid enough to believe it deserve what they get...

Socially inept me: I might say 'Happy New Year' to strangers...

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Jan 1, 2023:

We aren't strangers here.... we are just strange.

Listen to the master

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Jan 1, 2023:

Always pour your own from a sealed bottle....

He'll keep her safe.

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Dec 31, 2022:

...

Watch out for klingons when you go to the restroom

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Dec 31, 2022:

Boy is he in for a surprise....

Happy New Year!!!! 🥳🥂🎉🍾🎊🍻🍺🤗

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Dec 31, 2022:

A Libertarian cemetery?...

Happy New Year , advice for 2023

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Dec 31, 2022:

Go ahead... whine and cry this is me so fuck yourself if you don't like it...

I pretty sure no one here would be THAT dishonest.

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Dec 31, 2022:

We have some conservatives here and some Clinton neo-cons as well....

Be careful y'll

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Dec 31, 2022:

Like it or not in 26 hours it is here so make the best of it

A Marmite car.

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Dec 30, 2022:

Oh boy a Christler.... Christ what a piece of shit.

I never thought she'd really do it!

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Dec 30, 2022:

Hey isn't that my neighbor's girl friend?....

Oh, Man, do these still work?

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Dec 30, 2022:

Yeah which is why she gets angry when you fiddle with them...

I gotta say, I've never been to this point.

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Dec 30, 2022:

Until she divorces you...

Oh DOG there are sooo many out there.

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Dec 30, 2022:

7 billion plus at last count....

OOOh, that hurts to look at!

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Dec 30, 2022:

Lets all just hope it is that way for them more than it is for us....

Vote Him Away (The Liar Tweets Tonight) - YouTube

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Dec 30, 2022:

I think this was done about 4 or 5 years back....

It looks like Mr. Tate has beaten out Elon for biggest dumb ass move of the year.

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Dec 30, 2022:

Actually Tate was arrested for forming an organized crime group which involved human trafficking and rape along with his brother and another suspect if I am reading the report correctly.... Seems he was also running a scam school for crypto-currencies... https://www.reuters.com/world/romania-detains-ex-kickboxer-andrew-tate-human-trafficking-case-2022-12-30/

I wish Elon would troll Greta, so we could be done with him too

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Dec 30, 2022:

Elon has been banning free speech when people disagree with him.... This shows two things first he is just a loser and second in any battle of wits he is completely unarmed...

A story in Texas

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Dec 30, 2022:

Should put this out as cause of death for every mass shooter...anything you can do to humiliate these jackass instead of glorifying them might just stop the next one...

This is for all you "horndogs" who plan to get all sloshed, hoping to impress the ladies on New ...

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Dec 29, 2022:

From what I am seeing I would need to be extremely drunk to kiss one of them...

A Russian advent calendar :- Every time you open a window an oligarch falls out !!

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Dec 29, 2022:

Opening soon a window near Putin....

That's fair.

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Dec 29, 2022:

800 Boo Hooo?.... I used to leave call back numbers for assholes.... 282-5968 amazingly none of them figured it out...

I always tried to do my part.

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Dec 28, 2022:

Should have stuck with water colors....

I woke up this morning thinking it was Thursday, it's only Wednesday, jokes on me! ...

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Dec 28, 2022:

"Saints add preservatives to us" (Spider Robinson) So that is how Betty White lasted so long....

May I suggest a rule change here?

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Dec 28, 2022:

Is that so you can tell if she is pre-op or post-op when she is wearing a mini skirt?....

Sorry, can't do..

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Dec 28, 2022:

Blackmail your ass for a wedding ring if you do that...

Don't you touch it

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Dec 28, 2022:

We laugh at them but unfortunately their votes count.... I overheard a couple having a yard sale about 10 years ago... Her; "How do you spell sale?" Him: "S-A-I-L" As you might have guessed they were staunch Republicunts and lived with his mommy in a shitty trailer park...

They forgot Maidenhead...

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Dec 28, 2022:

In California we have 4 towns named "Dog House..."

Picture this, dunes as far as the eye can see...

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Dec 28, 2022:

I have some raccoons that hang out in the neighborhood if you want one that is undomesticated but will eat almost anything.... They can't do magic though.

You wanna wait for a miracle?

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Dec 28, 2022:

Drink hearty because life is a party....

Life's little pleasures.

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Dec 28, 2022:

I wouldn't mind going for a ride with her....

Not only funny, but makes an excellent point. [youtube.com]

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Dec 28, 2022:

Christian teachings in a nutshell

An easy prediction

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Dec 28, 2022:

Where is his Swastika?

These slow brains represent people.

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Dec 28, 2022:

Probably more like 20 because it is like a cold day in hell...

I shall proceed carefully...

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Dec 28, 2022:

Street orgy in session?...

Poor little millionaires

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Dec 28, 2022:

When all you can do is play with balls life can be so sad....

Who owns what

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Dec 28, 2022:

Yet once you fail to appear guess who comes a calling....

At some stage in my last dream, I was driving a car from the rear passenger seat...

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Dec 28, 2022:

Now that was a bit... er... different.

Are you my people?

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Dec 27, 2022:

213-325-1212 guess why my parents changed it?.... I had so much fun giving out random phone numbers as a child....

Some mean it, some don't. Some just want the little bastards to go back to school already.

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Dec 27, 2022:

Since half of it is already broken the kids are likely laughing their asses off....

Been busy with family so I'm late as usual!

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Dec 27, 2022:

Milk N' Cookies or milk N' Nookies?...

Those chapsticks always give me hives, anyway.

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Dec 26, 2022:

There is always Dada and his baby sitter....

Just another day hanging from the tree.

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Dec 26, 2022:

Everyone misses the fish on a bicycle one...

You know him?

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Dec 26, 2022:

Yeah, yeah, yeah you don't have to keep repeating yourself....

How does a hippie polygamist count his wives? 1 Mrs. Hippie, 2 Mrs. Hippie, 3 Mrs. Hippie...

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Dec 26, 2022:

Muddy waters there...

He has his skill

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Dec 26, 2022:

Shyte Life....

This has to be said...

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Dec 26, 2022:

Now that is my kind of shirt....

Persecution fetish 5. I went to Trump U

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Dec 26, 2022:

#13 She is an inbred moron with delusions of grandeur....

Back to regular shitposting now that xmas is over

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Dec 25, 2022:

Hey don't we still have XXmas and XXXmas to go for shitposts?...

These mannequins.....

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Dec 25, 2022:

Shopping at Walmart again eh?....

Hell yeah!

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Dec 25, 2022:

As long as it isn't an inflatable date it's all good....

Tech companies are trying to invent a device that can read what humans are thinking and turn it into...

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Dec 25, 2022:

The one that makes me laugh is "AI" they have made it so it is hard to detect the difference between something written by a machine or a human but since the machine can't think they are spreading disinformation all over the Internet.... Must be where QANON gets their bullshit from...

Just when you thought it was safe!!!

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Dec 25, 2022:

Why you should never annoy me...

What made this necessary?

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Dec 25, 2022:

Did you know the government is forcing manufacturers to put serial numbers on condoms now for tracking purposes?.... If not you probably never had to roll one down that far...

Santa not so nice

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Dec 25, 2022:

All hail Satan Claws....

FFS! IT'S CHRISTMAS

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Dec 25, 2022:

Trust me I have worse in my playlist....

The Reality Dose

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Dec 25, 2022:

If only these snowflake Trumpanzees would learn that....

Glory! [youtu.be]

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Dec 25, 2022:

With 4 counts related to the Jan 6th insurrection attempt alone for the fat turd he is going to have a very unhappy new year...