I wonder how much trump paid Pakistan to nominate him for the Nobel peace prize?

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Jun 21, 2025:

The only thing Trump could possibly win a Nobel prize for is being a stupid asshole... And they don't give them out for that category....

Buzzard priorities.

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Jun 21, 2025:

...

We all know someone who needs a screw tightened.

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Jun 21, 2025:

Any time I go to any store it makes me wonder if those idiots have a driver's license.... As well as how they got to the store alive.

Shrimp on the Barbie.

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Jun 19, 2025:

Shit fire?....

Fun things to do in Texass!

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Jun 18, 2025:

Try to drive home while drunk...

Sorry, I got caught up being a dad yesterday, so some belated father's day material.

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Jun 16, 2025:

The Dad life making things hell again...

Bonus Father's Day Humor 😉🎊🍻💞

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Jun 15, 2025:

Probably either drunk or had a headache....

Happy Father's Day!!!! 💐🎊🥳🍻🎉

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Jun 15, 2025:

I wonder how many dads showed up at Chick-fil-a today.....

None for me, thanks.

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Jun 14, 2025:

*DRINK!*

I don't not enjoy this group. LOL

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Jun 14, 2025:

Mr Reynolds looks like a gangrenous ballsack.... https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wkRUGpWUXiM=TheEnemyFromWithin

It's getting harder to be funny these days.

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Jun 12, 2025:

Yep it is that time of year when cats are giving us their hair...

There's just enough time to round up every taco food truck east of the Mississippi and get them to ...

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Jun 11, 2025:

Weather forecast for the 14th says 75% humidity, 80 degrees and possible thunder storms.... Utterly shocking weather...

The well-equipped international student must also be well-staffed these days.

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Jun 11, 2025:

https://twitter.com/i/status/1932467593379446797

Introducing my new hobby: actually it started about a year ago when a feral ginger would hang out ...

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Jun 10, 2025:

I have numerous feral cats in my neighborhood and have spent a lot of money caring for them which is more than just food I have had about two dozen of them spayed and neutered as well. I also can pet or even pick up several of them and a few will come to me when I call them by name.

Good question, though...

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Jun 9, 2025:

Trip those zombies up

Maybe it doesn't actually make you stupid, but it sure makes you look stupid.

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Jun 8, 2025:

Yet wearing a MAGA hat in any direction lowers it at least 70 points....

I miss slick willie.

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Jun 7, 2025:

It wasn't so much that he balanced the budget but how he balanced it on the backs of those who could least afford it and his ass kissing the GQP gave us his crime bill and the bank modernization acts...

Going to open my first beer for the night! 🍻🍻🍻

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Jun 6, 2025:

What else is there to do on a Sunday?...

Only Tuesday??? 😭😔🤣🤣

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Jun 3, 2025:

My dating life....

Hope everyone has a good Monday night!

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Jun 3, 2025:

Debbie seems like someone fun to be around.... not.... Love Chinese stuff they are always fucking something up...

Mmmm chicken 🍗🐔😋🤣🤣

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Jun 1, 2025:

Yep not only are they assholes though they are stupid ones... In most cases every time they shit their IQ lowers...

In the words of the Pink Panther... '' ''.

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Jun 1, 2025:

Battery wouldn't work the voltage is too low but the coil would work... Of course it might end up with the patient bouncing over the nearby buildings....

Reminds me of the jersey shore...

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Jun 1, 2025:

Mediocretes the inaction hero....

On monday trump is going to sign an executive order that closes all taco bells, removes tacos from ...

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Jun 1, 2025:

I make excellent tacos, burritos and chili that if I opened a restaurant people would line up around the block for...

Ok, this set starts out with some nostalgia. sigh

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Jun 1, 2025:

How about one representing Putin"s Helo as he was bailing out of Moscow?... After all that really happened.

Saturday night and enjoying a beer in bed! Cheers!!!🍻🍻🍻🍻

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Jun 1, 2025:

Nice Crocs....

With age comes wisdom, and a more expansive sense of humor. 😁

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on May 30, 2025:

Can't wait to see the Venetian dumb...

Yeah, it's usually one or the other. LOL

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on May 29, 2025:

So the women could all sit on his face no doubt...

Wish upon a star, watch out for splinters.

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on May 29, 2025:

Somebody got wood...

I would imagine that's too close to honest marketing to be a genuine hellish rebranding.

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on May 27, 2025:

Sometimes I think it is a shame hell doesn't exist...

Goodnight, I'm going back to sleep!

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on May 27, 2025:

That cat has good taste.... https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=JR4RNK1L2DA=newbeginningschapel

Or don't, I really don't GAF.

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on May 26, 2025:

Looks like a bathroom at Taco Bell....

In the words of Paris Hilton, "That's hot!"

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on May 25, 2025:

Dog has the right idea....

It's the guy with the pen who has the problem with the jitters.

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on May 24, 2025:

Have to get that no trespassing sign after all I have a reputation to uphold...

What happened to that "On day one" horseshit?

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on May 23, 2025:

The rich are nothing but cannibals eating everyone else to fatten their own wallets...

Honestly, I might try that kind of throwback on just about any day.

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on May 23, 2025:

I am betting they did think it through....

Well, if you get a bigger fig leaf....

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on May 22, 2025:

Nice fireplace does it come with an LCD fire and heater?...

Here's a poll for you.

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on May 21, 2025:

Rabid dog level hatefilled crazy... https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=gNson4TqUO4=ETNOW

I like to tease the weasel occasionally, but that's different. LOL

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on May 21, 2025:

Looks like someone is getting a paternity test...

Grandma nooooo!!!!! 🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on May 20, 2025:

The boss should be thankful he didn't crap in the driver's seat...

Next week: churro Sunday!

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on May 20, 2025:

I tell people I give free advice and it is worth exactly what they pay for it...

I would love to see donnie get a cancer diagnosis and have the doctor tell him "we were doing ...

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on May 19, 2025:

Make that 6 months to a year of pain and misery.... It couldn't happen to a more deserving fuckwad...

Bonus: they generally pass through a metal detector without any issues!

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on May 19, 2025:

TDFR Thank Dog For Rocks...

Some trailer trash wisdom from my favorite low-life....

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on May 18, 2025:

Two contributing factors to his statement could be that he is perpetually inebriated and has only ever seen Trump rallies...

Why did God make me an atheist !?!

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on May 18, 2025:

Because maybe even god doesn't believe in himself?...

You can't tell it's a church mouse just by his looks.

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on May 18, 2025:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0FOO_avI4oY=ChillingHaru

This dumbass! 🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on May 18, 2025:

You have to have a brain left to get high from heroin...

My house isn't working right now! 🤣🤣🤣

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on May 18, 2025:

Forgot to change the oil again didn't you?...

Yes, because Rupert can't swim, you know.

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on May 18, 2025:

Because capitalism...

AA's have their own code of conduct...

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on May 16, 2025:

I didn't realize that McDonalds served real meat....

My brother was like that dog. As a kid, he ate all the inside of my b-day cake.

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on May 16, 2025:

Privatized medicine making bad deals...

That's what happens when you get high before going to Walmart!

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on May 15, 2025:

Great way to not only make sure that kid has a happy birthday but calm her down at the same time... but you are going to need a much bigger cake.

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on May 15, 2025:

Give me a 32 ounce cup any day of the week...

Some old men want a trophy wife, I want a trophy for making it to old man.

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on May 15, 2025:

Lot of people are surprised I am still alive...

I had a day!!!!

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on May 14, 2025:

"If he had shuffled a few inches to the right he would have won..." Karma

I don't know if the article I read is real but this mother fucker said not to follow his medical ...

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on May 14, 2025:

He can't die even in a zombie apocalypse... No brain...

Hey, c'mon, it's Opus! He's a good guy, really!

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on May 14, 2025:

I was wondering why my phone was sending that to people so much...

Those are all very good reasons.

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on May 14, 2025:

Funny how you can win so much for a little thing like telling your billionaire boss to go fuck himself...

Biblical teachings retconned by the mouth breathers.

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on May 14, 2025:

Religion is and always has been about stealing money from those who can't really afford it...

Tuesday is over....... 🤣🤣🤣

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on May 13, 2025:

Kitty is just brushing his teeth is all.... And ceiling cat has always been a god of beauty.

You mean the animals with the initial "B"? Or the "bee bees"?

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on May 12, 2025:

I imagine Janet carries a small ruler as well....

Moms don't need books for that, it's instinctive! Mother's Day 2025.

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on May 12, 2025:

My mother's favorite section of the library...

Happy Fucking Mother's Day!!!

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on May 12, 2025:

Just got back from mother's day dinner with my unofficially adopted daughter... Funny how nobody else was going to take her so I ended up doing it.

I've always wondered, did Alexander the Great sent post cards from his travels?

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on May 11, 2025:

Last card he sent said.... "Trying to take a selfie in a beautiful courtyard next to a palm tree and some bastard shot me.... Wish you were here...

Right, for another example, who churns their own butter anymore?

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on May 11, 2025:

Finally something a pope and I agree on..... I never thought I would see the day.

When he goes to the beach, I bet he gets a good tan, too.

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on May 11, 2025:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=PX6UBWkTyOA=%F0%9F%92%80THEREALVLADIMIRPUTIN

When he goes to the beach, I bet he gets a good tan, too.

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on May 10, 2025:

Just what we need in my neighborhood.... More frogs and suitcases....

Are the tabloid press people that follow the pope around the popearazzi?

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on May 9, 2025:

Probably Cathoclicks....

Honestly, I don't want to be close enough to hear the bark.

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on May 9, 2025:

Must be on Earth he is....

burgler it

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on May 9, 2025:

Sounds more like people are getting dumber...

WOW!!! I just...... 🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on May 9, 2025:

Not going to jump out of a perfectly safe aircraft.... But if it is going down and there are parachutes on board it is going down without me.

Is it me?

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on May 8, 2025:

If they do nobody gives a fuck about training or quality...

I think I know how the new pope is elected-all the cardinals pair off and do rock-paper-scissors.

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on May 7, 2025:

And here I thought it was the guy who drew the short straw....

Important health tip for older bears.

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on May 7, 2025:

Why I don't smile in pictures...

A respectful and dignified buzzard tradition captured here for the first time.

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on May 6, 2025:

Reminds me of the shrink they assigned me to at the VA... She couldn't understand why I laughed at her when she called me narcissistic when I explained to her I wasn't religious...

That ocean meth will play havoc with your dental situation.

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on May 5, 2025:

I wonder how often she plays "Good Vibrations" https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=iiIfW3kZgVU=YannMcB

Return of the Sith!!!!

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on May 5, 2025:

The one on the left has real catitude...

This is how I found out that I am a cat.

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on May 4, 2025:

I am a cat....

It takes a lot to produce the funny papers every single day...

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on May 4, 2025:

...

I'm hoping for luck to hit us soon, this shit is getting out of hand! 🤣

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on May 3, 2025:

Why would we want football anyway?... Last thing I want to do is watch grown men paid to play with their balls... if I wanted that I can stay home and watch pornhub.

Why? Be-CAAAAWS.

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on May 3, 2025:

Psychics never seem to see it coming do they?...

The bimbo and the lush, quite the administration we got here.

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on May 1, 2025:

More like Batshit Barbie if you ask me....

When mom gives you clothes you hate.

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on May 1, 2025:

My oldest cat loves to jump up on my lap and watch a movie with me....

Bad influence? I dunno, I learned a lot from you fucking heathens. LOL

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on May 1, 2025:

I want a GF just like her....

Who's hungry? 🤣🤣🤣🤣

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Apr 30, 2025:

Me: at Denny's... Waitress: Just the tip please....

Just once, just one time.....

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Apr 30, 2025:

Where can I get a set of those coffee cups?....

Star Trek: Strange new memes.

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Apr 30, 2025:

People keep bragging about their plans with unlimited data when they only use about 3GB per month telling me it "only" costs them about 150.00 a month... I get that for 20.00 a month and get better service than they do...

Anger management.

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Apr 30, 2025:

Looks like the Navy picked the wrong mascot...

All The Worst Evils Are Happening Right Out In The Open You don’t need to come up with any ...

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Apr 30, 2025:

I have been telling people since Clinton took over the Democrats that we don't need two right wing parties and now that the progressives are starting to gain power the Regan Republicans in the Democratic party are trying to force them out again...

He said he was a man with convictions, but I never thought....

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Apr 30, 2025:

I sent the first one to a friend who I was telling earlier that she is a dirtbag magnet because every man she meets seems to be a piece of shit...

Anger management.

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Apr 29, 2025:

I have a cat in my yard that has dairy cow markings...

Embracing the inner nerd.

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Apr 28, 2025:

Somebody needs to explain to him that "BBW" isn't about whales...

Hitting the front of the machine never works, either.

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Apr 27, 2025:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=tgj3nZWtOfA=BoxyBrown

Hmmm, maybe I'll check out Instagram for some fowl influencers.

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Apr 25, 2025:

And the man in charge brings them right back....

Be careful when the "p" is silent.

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Apr 24, 2025:

Is that Aeroflot?....

Get the wet straw ready, We need some white smoke

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Apr 23, 2025:

The new pope is an even bigger dope...

You're fired, I'm fired, get out of here, but I live here, hic!

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Apr 22, 2025:

Last one looks like the Republican primaries....

The catholic church finally has a chance to bring itself into modern times-elect Guido Sarducci ...

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Apr 22, 2025:

And he would have put a hit on Vance.....

Happy Chocolate Egg Day!

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Apr 21, 2025:

...

Happy Chocolate Egg Day!

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Apr 21, 2025:

Just when you thought you understood how stupid they are.... https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xUvfvwU1pzk=I%27veHadIt