A poker tail - impossible. 😆

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Sep 24, 2021:

Best way to bluff in poker is to switch up your tells....

Have you seen a clean one?

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Sep 24, 2021:

No Republicans since Eisenhower left office that is for damned sure.... and there is damned little difference between a Democratic "moderate" and a Republican...

My new favourite word!

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Sep 24, 2021:

Also known as an anti-vaxxer....

Help the astronaut

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Sep 23, 2021:

Three feet off the floor... https://youtu.be/W5D07c0dJuQ

Anti-vaxxers are now going to start carrying signs saying "No salad for me because Freedumb..."

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Sep 23, 2021:

Maybe we should just start a rumor that all foods now contain the vaccine so they have a choice to either die of starvation or leave the country....

Talk about destroying someone's self esteem.

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Sep 23, 2021:

Druggies throw shoes over powerlines to mark the locations of their houses.... Is this marking the location of the local low end house of prostitution?

Can't do anything anymore

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Sep 23, 2021:

People actually listen to shit like that still?...

New perspective on chicken/egg matter

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Sep 23, 2021:

Change that egg picture a bit and you have a pig.... Would that make it "Porked Chicken?"

Another reason I hate washing dishes! Lol

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Sep 23, 2021:

Cup yes spoon?.... Not even once.

Jesus wants to come inside of you

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Sep 23, 2021:

.................

I saw this meme and I just had to steal it.

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Sep 23, 2021:

Alcohol as it relates to the Dunning-Kruger Effect....

Oh oh he got caught

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Sep 22, 2021:

..............

Thats the truth

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Sep 22, 2021:

With the things you post and the comments you make I have a pretty good idea why....

Yes please stop that

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Sep 22, 2021:

Memo addressed to McConnell, Trump and Hillary Clinton...

"Fascinating Captain!"

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Sep 22, 2021:

Yep back then those suckers even defied the ship's artificial gravity....

Met anxiety...

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Sep 21, 2021:

All the stupid anti-vaxxers out there anyone with two functioning neurons or more is bound to have a bit of anxiety...

I do this ever so often. Maybe, I'm gifted, too! 😆

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Sep 21, 2021:

..........................

Don't get vaccinated!

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Sep 20, 2021:

A true Entrepreneur....

Did you know this?

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Sep 20, 2021:

Well that will certainly put some weight on her....

Three brothers age 92, 94 and 96 live in a house together.

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Sep 20, 2021:

I heard that familiar, cheerful voice from the radio giving that sad message at the end of his weekly show "And remember to stay demented" and nearly cried....

My exact same feeling! 😂😂😂

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Sep 20, 2021:

Is it wrong that I can relate to this meme?... Hating is too much effort to me though but if a person I know was to step in front of a bus I would try hard not to laugh..... smiling and "saying Darwin wins another round" though? You betcha I am going to make sure someone hears me say it in the moment...

What is your answer

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Sep 20, 2021:

Painful

That's a huge mistake oops

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Sep 20, 2021:

Hey babe wanna ride my ass?....

Very funny tale

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Sep 20, 2021:

Bet the snake follows him home...

They were on sale, but still...

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Sep 20, 2021:

Truth in advertising the product did stop him from snoring...

Demon uprising of the 1980s.

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Sep 19, 2021:

I just sent this to someone born in the late 1990s' and expect a reply any minute now saying "????????"

"The antivax are coming!"

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Sep 19, 2021:

We could use tranquilizer dart guns loaded with the J&J vaccine....

Response to "I'm praying for you"

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Sep 19, 2021:

"That's nice I will be sure to talk to my cat for you..." Often they freeze up and don't know what to say I find it amusing. People who talk about praying for others are egotistical and arrogant thinking that everyone should believe as they do through "faith" (a complete lack of real evidence even though there is a lot of evidence it is all made up garbage) but there is no point in getting upset yourself let them get upset if they want. It gives you a longer happier less stressful life to not get upset over their personal rudeness.

STOP DOING THIS SHIT! In your house it’s ok if you want or where no one sees them but not in a ...

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Sep 19, 2021:

Move over kid I am next...

Found some money in a church yard, and I thought, "What would Jesus do?

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Sep 19, 2021:

And in the end it was all pissed away...

I am NOT a role model!

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Sep 19, 2021:

................

I'm sure it's a coincidence...

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Sep 19, 2021:

I wouldn't be so sure... In "A Boy and His Dog" they survived together since he was a child and in the end the girl who first trapped him and then escaped with him was fed to the dog so they could both survive... Made me cry I so love a happy ending... https://youtu.be/3UWIzcJ1Neg

Wasn't me this time...

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Sep 19, 2021:

The Bunny did it... He said the second and third hours were free....

Yup.......

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Sep 19, 2021:

Perhaps in retrospect using the image of Bill Gates (a conservative) was not the best idea in this instance...

A little satire for Saturday

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Sep 18, 2021:

Actually this is true it doesn't lower our population by much and it makes the state a far nicer place to live.... Many of them move to Texas because they think they will pay less in income tax (they don't because state income tax can be deducted from your federal income tax and the property taxes are higher by dollar value in Texas) and unfortunately most of the ones who are not retired move back when they figure out how much less they are getting paid there...

Probably wouldn't work

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Sep 18, 2021:

Who says this is alternative?....

Well she should know

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Sep 18, 2021:

...............

I think so! 😂😂

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Sep 18, 2021:

Wondering where he empties the shitter....

Always comical.

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Sep 18, 2021:

......................

It took a bit of doing, but I got the picture

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Sep 17, 2021:

..................

That one I get

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Sep 17, 2021:

Miss Piggy always had the wrong idea how to seduce Kermit..... She should have invited her sister over and given him a "Ham Sandwich..."

Taxi service is on time. Welcome!

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Sep 17, 2021:

Do they have a sign telling people not to shit on the carpet?

🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Sep 17, 2021:

At 14 I could out drink a lot of adults.... We had an old fridge in the backyard that I knew where the key was hidden that was always full...

Latest antivaxxer advertisement

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Sep 17, 2021:

..................

Funny picture

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Sep 17, 2021:

Looks like the sun is doing him doggy style....

I prefer pictures

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Sep 17, 2021:

Not a guy I would trust with my cat....

"If I owned both hell and Texas, I'd live in hell and rent out Texas." General Sheridan

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Sep 16, 2021:

General Sheridan made that quote as a Captain What I always wanted to know is if we can give Texas back to Mexico?.... http://www.dwagoner.dyndns.org/MainPage/code/index.html

Very smart general

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Sep 16, 2021:

..............

Jane and Arlene are outside their nursing home, having a drink and a smoke, when it starts to rain.

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Sep 16, 2021:

Should have asked her "one hump or two?"

At least I'm not the only one being toxic! Lol

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Sep 15, 2021:

Like this one?...

How true it is lol

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Sep 15, 2021:

At least a hundred bucks in change.....

Thinking for yourself has become a 'Thought Crime'.

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Sep 15, 2021:

Yeah we hear what horrible people we are all the time from the GQP who are only repeating what they are told to believe....

That I would bet on

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Sep 15, 2021:

..............

Flo-ri-duh!

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Sep 15, 2021:

They were probably wearing masks....

Miss them too

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Sep 15, 2021:

Well at least Trump's flying monkeys are still with us....

Well deserved medal

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Sep 15, 2021:

...................

Is that Freud?

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Sep 15, 2021:

.................

Another groaner for you

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Sep 15, 2021:

.....................

I’ll take as a compliment that someone has covered my song!

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Sep 15, 2021:

Karaoke?...

For Chris's sake...

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Sep 15, 2021:

..................

I wouldn't talk to us either.

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Sep 15, 2021:

..................

He suddenly realised

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Sep 15, 2021:

....................

Six years ago on Facebook...

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Sep 14, 2021:

So it looks like @Cast1es just got all butthurt for telling her the truth... Why is it conservative Dems seem just as sensitive to facts as Republicans are?

Easter Island treat.

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Sep 12, 2021:

...................

That's a good prescription.

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Sep 12, 2021:

Why grammar is important...

It's a protection racket.

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Sep 11, 2021:

I guess it depends on if you want the little bastard or not...

I am going to be fit. I found a very good excercise.

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Sep 11, 2021:

Only if you can afford her fees....

An Investment Idea Import from China, sell on ebay.

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Sep 11, 2021:

Why would anyone want to sell Trump dolls on Ebay?....

Great tombstone

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Sep 11, 2021:

Need one of those for my yard...

That is a lot cheaper

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Sep 11, 2021:

Or you can stop by any 7 eleven and buy a hot dog....

Very interesting

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Sep 11, 2021:

Jesus endorsed slavery in the bible... Anyone who endorses slavery is a dick... Jesus is therefore a dick.... Going by the thesis "you are what you eat"... Jesus was Gay and ate dick...

I would throw something to distract them ,make a run for it back to the motel and have a relaxing ...

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Sep 11, 2021:

I remember as a kid riding the Black Ball ferry from Washington to Canada and those gulls were awesome.... Some poor guy was sitting on the deck trying to eat off a paper plate and looking a bit green around the gills when on of those gulls placed a perfect shot in the middle of his food.... He not only dropped the plate over the side but what little he had eaten followed it in a beautiful arc. I laughed so hard I nearly pissed myself....

🙄😂🙄😂🙄😂🙄😂🙄😂

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Sep 11, 2021:

Ladies when a guy brags about how he is so good in bed he usually means himself not you are going to have a great time....

For that one who hates socialism but can't define what it is....

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Sep 10, 2021:

Awww looks like @Sticks48 got all butthurt because I told him the truth again and blocked me.... Anyway dude if you have the balls and are a real man here is one of many articles on the Subject of Donna B giving Hillary the primary debate questions in the 2016 primary but I bet you call this a "conspiracy theory" too.... https://www.vox.com/policy-and-politics/2017/11/2/16599036/donna-brazile-hillary-clinton-sanders

Someone's in BIG trouble! Lol

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Sep 9, 2021:

Somebody is going to be paying litter support.....

How could he?

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Sep 9, 2021:

Same story Mary used.....

How tiny is the lamp?! 😆

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Sep 9, 2021:

My answer: "Can you provide proof of delivery?..."

That will fix him lol

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Sep 9, 2021:

................

It has a laugh track, but it scarier than it is funny. [youtu.be]

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Sep 9, 2021:

...................

WXPD Channel 9 News: Frightening Trends - SNL [youtube.]

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Sep 8, 2021:

Oh look it's Fox News....

A friend of mine sent me this from her vacation.

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Sep 7, 2021:

Just a hop, skip and a jump along the beach....

Social Security benefits face reduction a year earlier than expected due to pandemic ...

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Sep 7, 2021:

More scare tactics from conservatives on both sides of the isle. Social Security is far from bankrupt and has a nearly 3 Trillion dollar surplus in the trust fund. The truth of the matter is that organizations like Goldman Sachs simply want to privatize it so they can loot you of your earned benefits...

That's gonna be an awkward conversation.

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Sep 7, 2021:

Don't ask GM, Ford, all the oil companies, Coke, Bank of America, Chase Manhattan and other major American corporations what they were doing between 1933 to 1945 either....

Big mistake lol

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Sep 7, 2021:

I don't know about that one because it looks to me like he cleared the obstruction....

Crazy ideas are the lifeblood of capitalism.

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Sep 6, 2021:

Screwy ideas are often the best ones.....

That is a big oops

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Sep 5, 2021:

Ahh the good old days....

That's some creative shrubbery

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Sep 5, 2021:

Need that for the new neighbor...

Just awful clothing design or is she giving a big hint.

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Sep 5, 2021:

How you can tell she shops at Walmart....

Windows version 000.1

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Sep 5, 2021:

Notice the antivirus curtains hanging in the background...

Hopefully this one hasn't been posted too recently

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Sep 4, 2021:

Ducking autocarrot.....

MySpace - Saturday Night Live [youtube.com]

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Sep 4, 2021:

Looks like they would have had more luck as priests....

Ancient Aliens guy isn't totally wrong, for once...

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Sep 4, 2021:

Told my ex-wife after the divorce that the ugliness on the outside was leaking to the surface....

The Seven Internet Sins...

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Sep 4, 2021:

The Internet is the 21st century version of the bible...

O oh! 😂😂😂😂😂😂😂

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Sep 4, 2021:

And he may have had a part time job as a hit man for the mob that sucker has a trunk big enough for three or four bodies....

Who would want to date that con-man?

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Sep 4, 2021:

Yep.....

The ultimate dilemma here...

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Sep 4, 2021:

https://youtu.be/PhQHZ7EyEHo

Still smarter than an anti masker [dailymail.co.uk]

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Sep 3, 2021:

Cumming and going at the same time...

Still smarter than an anti masker [dailymail.co.uk]

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Sep 3, 2021:

Because *FREEDUM...*

One more myth exposed.

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Sep 3, 2021:

A mazing....

Wonderful, optimism at it's greatest! :-D

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Sep 3, 2021:

*Takes notes for dating site advertisement....*