Ted Cruz Declares To The Nation, “I’m Not A Moron.

zeuser comments on May 7, 2022:

Republicans have a way of telling you the truth by telling you the opposite. I am not a crook. - Nixon I am a stable genius. - Talking Yam Read my lips, no new taxes. GHW Bush I am not a moron. Rafael Cruz

Naughty is in the eyes of the beholder

zeuser comments on May 7, 2022:

Shouldn't it be illegal to encourage....tailgating like that?

Don't overdose please

zeuser comments on May 7, 2022:

You can fertilize at the same time.

Greeting cards is a ridiculous idea

zeuser comments on May 7, 2022:

The ultimate gift card. 🎁

Oh. Now I get it.

zeuser comments on May 7, 2022:

Time for the hawk to make some perspectively large bunny fazoo. LOL

[vm.

zeuser comments on May 7, 2022:

Love is blind. Lust, on the other hand, is a completely different story. ;)

Excuse me, but did Anthony Fauci tell us about this?

zeuser comments on May 7, 2022:

I need some configuration details here.

Red state girl, she's been living in her red state world.

zeuser comments on May 6, 2022:

Maybe I'm not marketing it correctly, but that's not how it works in my case.

Poorly describe what you do/used to do for a living. 😆

zeuser comments on May 6, 2022:

Kept track of all the ways to say stuff that everyone in the company had to use.

I could almost believe it.

zeuser comments on May 6, 2022:

That wasn't god, that was the whole world talking at once, you decrepit, ignorant, hateful old butthole.

Sitting in bed w coffee and boys and contemplating my stupidity along w other things .

zeuser comments on May 6, 2022:

You can only help someone so much before they have to take care of their own selves. Don't doubt your instincts to help, but be aware that some will take you for a ride. Sounds like Rita came under a bad influence when she was very vulnerable. You shouldn't judge, but neither should you enable. And when you say you are not nice, I for one don't believe you. ❤

Our county fair has lots to do

zeuser comments on May 6, 2022:

WT actual F!?!

Not creepy at all...

zeuser comments on May 6, 2022:

When your tinder date has kids...

Who the hell is your dealer?

zeuser comments on May 5, 2022:

I dunno. You get what you pay for.

More on bananas and monkeys -

zeuser comments on May 5, 2022:

I stay away from bananas, so by that metric, monkeys need not fear I will consume them. Hah!

She is differently abled

zeuser comments on May 5, 2022:

I get this. Plus, consider that "crazy" is commonly just a value judgment.

Trump says he took widely-mocked cognitive test because people kept calling him stupid! ...

zeuser comments on May 5, 2022:

That didn't go quite as well as he thought it did, did it?

Happy Drunko de Mayo!

zeuser comments on May 5, 2022:

The cat will always rat you out.

Heads up, I will be out next week for training

zeuser comments on May 5, 2022:

Wow, you could also crack a couple of walnuts with THAT equipment!

It is now clear that Putin the Putrid will not have Ukraine by May 9.

zeuser comments on May 5, 2022:

You think he keeps a running total? I doubt it.

Living the dream requires surviving the occasional nightmare. ...........paraphrasing @hippydog.

zeuser comments on May 5, 2022:

You need the bad to fully appreciate the good.

Jokes on you... Eh Abbott..... [dailykos.com]

zeuser comments on May 5, 2022:

Isn't it illegal for states to conduct anything resembling negotiations with foreign countries? What am I missing?

Goodnight!!!!! 🤣😂🤣😂😂🤣🤣

zeuser comments on May 5, 2022:

Hah! I bet Frankie is ecstatic!

I broke up with a girl once because she was having hallucinations.

zeuser comments on May 5, 2022:

You can't fix crazy, you know?

Very informative

zeuser comments on May 5, 2022:

Should be required reading. Also, there ought to be some reference to vasectomies. That's one sure way to be able to blast it on the inside with no abortion needed afterwards.

One more reason why I love Egyptian mythology.

zeuser comments on May 5, 2022:

Ya know, it's not too late for a revival of the old ways. I can host. ;)

Before google there was Mr. Britannica.

zeuser comments on May 5, 2022:

I always like Calvin's dad's approach. LOL

No prescription needed

zeuser comments on May 4, 2022:

Looks like a great stocking stuffer.

Confession Guidance

zeuser comments on May 4, 2022:

When I was 14, spanking the monkey was pretty much an identity issue for me. When they made a big deal about it in the booth, that's when I stopped going to confession, and my spiral into atheism began!

Beer sounds better than hear... Lol

zeuser comments on May 4, 2022:

While your up, some peanuts would be ni..WHAM

For everyone that says the president doesn't matter

zeuser comments on May 4, 2022:

Well all you Bernie voting sore losers who wanted to teach the democrats a lesson when Hilary was nominated (which was admittedly a shady political theft) by not voting for anybody, you sure showed us! That taught us a lesson all right! Grrrr.

I'm broad minded but this may be a too fruity for some! :-D

zeuser comments on May 4, 2022:

Wait until the one on top spills its seed.

Inventive scrawl

zeuser comments on May 3, 2022:

Oldie but goodie.

Ugh!!!! The day I had!!!!! ...

zeuser comments on May 3, 2022:

Nice! 😜

Good Monday Morning!

zeuser comments on May 2, 2022:

I might wanna get me some of those jebus butt plugs for xmas presents to give to my religious buddies. LOL

Can you feel his pain?

zeuser comments on May 1, 2022:

Are you in the right place at the right time with the *right size* like the bicycle is? Are you?!?

Dater beware

zeuser comments on May 1, 2022:

When you said this was going to be a surprise party, you should have said what kind of surprise!

Damn it, jammed again! (Does this potato masher look like Trump to you? 😆)

zeuser comments on May 1, 2022:

The long spatula give the masher a high five. ;)

Happy Sunday!!!

zeuser comments on May 1, 2022:

DickDash, har har har. :)

Remember, signs are here to help you

zeuser comments on May 1, 2022:

I'd rather have redundant signage than no signage at all.

Ain't Physics grand?

zeuser comments on May 1, 2022:

AS Woody told Buzz Lightyear, you're not flying, you're just falling...with style.

chiv·al·ry /ˈSHivəlrē/ noun the medieval knightly system with its religious, moral, and ...

zeuser comments on May 1, 2022:

Calvin is SUCH a butthole.

Don't believe stories you are told

zeuser comments on May 1, 2022:

Depends which Goliath you are talking about.

The unacceptable face of Russia.....supercilious looking smug bastard!

zeuser comments on May 1, 2022:

If dick cheese was a person....

“Your habitually unhappy person resents it when you try to cheer them up, because that means they ...

zeuser comments on May 1, 2022:

I know people who aren't happy unless they are miserable.

Happy Saturday!!! 😂🤗😂🤗😂😂

zeuser comments on May 1, 2022:

Nicely done!

Size does matter

zeuser comments on May 1, 2022:

Why I oughta....

“Next to knowing when to seize an opportunity, the most important thing in life is to know when ...

zeuser comments on Apr 29, 2022:

Easy to say, hard to do.

"You will observe with concern how long a useful truth may be known, and exist, before it is ...

zeuser comments on Apr 29, 2022:

Even when proven wrong, people will fiercely defend beliefs they hold in the face of compelling evidence to the contrary. It is infuriating, and it is the cause of countless arguments between kids and their parents, progressives and conservatives, atheists and professed believers, and husbands and wives.

When that happens

zeuser comments on Apr 28, 2022:

Lemme have some of those green jelly beans.

New study on Omicron immunity. I tested positive for COVID-19.

zeuser comments on Apr 28, 2022:

Take care of yourself, hon. I had covid in February. If I hadn't been vaxed, I am certain it would have killed me. Got the second booster at the start of this month. With any luck, that's the last I'll see of it. Get well soon. 💜

what the hell is wrong with you!?

zeuser comments on Apr 28, 2022:

*pinching the bridge of my nose and tightly closing my eyes*

Deposition Transcript Reveals Trump Fear Of Flying Fruit [youtube.

zeuser comments on Apr 28, 2022:

Dangerous fruit, eh?

Good morning!!! Another meme dump!!!!

zeuser comments on Apr 27, 2022:

What kind of music do they play?

I hope he keeps trying to make that Truth Social shit show work instead

zeuser comments on Apr 26, 2022:

Is this asshole back already?

Now I can't unsee it. 😆 (What is the rabbit doing there, btw?)

zeuser comments on Apr 26, 2022:

Rabbit are pretty randy, and well, this guy does have an armful of pussies.

Marjorie Taylor Greene is back on the hot seat, falsely testifying again...

zeuser comments on Apr 26, 2022:

She should be in jail. If she pulled that shit in Russia, she would be, or she would be murdered.

I will wait

zeuser comments on Apr 26, 2022:

Good opportunity to work on your long distance accuracy.

oh looks cool

zeuser comments on Apr 25, 2022:

Sperm bank?

And that was the day she decided she didn't want to live in the sticks anymore.

zeuser comments on Apr 25, 2022:

It's a good idea regardless, you know?

My kind of diet food...

zeuser comments on Apr 25, 2022:

This guy has marketing in his or her blood.

The car yes

zeuser comments on Apr 24, 2022:

I don't think Mopar is set up for that.

Who remembers the “Double Dog Dare”?

zeuser comments on Apr 24, 2022:

Priorities. The kid is a leader.

No starch...

zeuser comments on Apr 24, 2022:

No starch, thanks.

Always wanted a garage....

zeuser comments on Apr 24, 2022:

Nice to see drive-ins making a comeback.

Legitimate political discourse lynching

zeuser comments on Apr 23, 2022:

They would have killed his ass for all the wrong reasons. That isn't justice, unfortunately, that's just murder.

It happens

zeuser comments on Apr 23, 2022:

The older you get, the more it's "I came earlier than they said, I saw, I took off."

Near the core of religious experience is something remarkably resistant to rational inquiry.

zeuser comments on Apr 23, 2022:

Well yeah, by definition.

I'm not sure about that.

zeuser comments on Apr 23, 2022:

Um, I think we might still have a pretty good idea.

Sooo much Winning..😂😂😂 [dailykos.com]

zeuser comments on Apr 23, 2022:

She'll never see a dime.

Spot the difference

zeuser comments on Apr 23, 2022:

Two very different "hide the kielbasa" challenges.

Tombstone Special

zeuser comments on Apr 23, 2022:

We only live on in the memory of people who don't forget us after we expire. Once those people all die, it's a question of what other people can read on a tombstone.

Happy Saturday!!!!

zeuser comments on Apr 23, 2022:

I admit it! I'm running with it! LOL

I hope this works. [scontent-sea1-1.xx.fbcdn.net]

zeuser comments on Apr 22, 2022:

Jesus, feeling around: Where the fuck did I put my foreskin?

Best door mat ever....

zeuser comments on Apr 22, 2022:

All we need is cold pizza and we have all the major food groups.

Get some before it's 2 late!!!

zeuser comments on Apr 22, 2022:

When you think about it, they didn't have wine either. I volunteer to follow up on that.

“The key to success is sincerity. If you can fake that you've got it made.” George Burns

zeuser comments on Apr 21, 2022:

Classic Burns.

Have you ever asked a Christian?

zeuser comments on Apr 21, 2022:

I bet the answer would be "Because god is tricky like that." And the correct answer "the painters were painting fiction" would never come up.

Totally Unfair

zeuser comments on Apr 20, 2022:

I've been to plenty of shitty parties, so I can see where the right venue might make a difference. LOL

A shame, really...

zeuser comments on Apr 20, 2022:

R2, I told you what would happen when you started putting that garbage into your crankcase.

What will they think of next?

zeuser comments on Apr 20, 2022:

Maybe Tuck is getting a per product commission for every ball tanner they sell, like George Foreman gets on each grill they sell.

Wow, you don't see that every day...

zeuser comments on Apr 20, 2022:

Hey, if it's free....

“Life has no meaning a priori - it is up to you to give it a meaning, and value is nothing but ...

zeuser comments on Apr 20, 2022:

I remember slogging through "Being and Nothingness" in my college phenomenology class. After plowing through Heidegger and Husserl, Sartre was surprisingly conversational in his philosophical writings.

Members, don't do that

zeuser comments on Apr 19, 2022:

No you're not, you fucking fraud.

Honestly, worshiping the sun god seems like a better deal than worshiping the Judeo-Christian god.

zeuser comments on Apr 19, 2022:

That's great and I go along with the Aztecs, up to the "cut your heart out while you are still alive human sacrifice" part. Compare and contrast to the "kill ALL the heathens genocide" the conquistadors have up their armored sleeves. No clear winner here, IMHO.

What are you most proud of?

zeuser comments on Apr 19, 2022:

Great achievements, you should indeed be proud. 💜

Merika.

zeuser comments on Apr 19, 2022:

I smell some bullshit here. He won't give a complete list of the books he banned and he won't say what passages led to the banning. This is an excuse for Florida to buy textbooks from the "governor's" supporters, and something tells me he is somehow getting a cut. This isn't finished yet. I put "governor" in quotation marks because this guy is closer to a cult leader or a mafia don, and not a governor in the classic sense of working for all of his constituents.

So many fails...

zeuser comments on Apr 19, 2022:

*Somebody* has to make those videos.

Harmony...

zeuser comments on Apr 19, 2022:

I dunno, sounds a little tinny to me.

“Nothing succeeds like the appearance of success”…………….Christopher Lasch.

zeuser comments on Apr 19, 2022:

A variation of the theme "there is a sucker born every minute".

The pattern is always the same……

zeuser comments on Apr 19, 2022:

My late dad always said the republicans were nothing but shills for the wealthy. He was right.

interesting design

zeuser comments on Apr 19, 2022:

Now I believe in transparency, but there is a time and a place for it, you know?

Queen Elizabeth and Dolly Parton die on the same day Queen Elizabeth and Dolly Parton die on the ...

zeuser comments on Apr 19, 2022:

That's how those angels think.

Just a few I picked up along the way.

zeuser comments on Apr 19, 2022:

Good batch. ;)

Democrats are good guys

zeuser comments on Apr 18, 2022:

That sounds like the kind of projection we get from our own American taliban. I recognize the gaslighting technique and the distortion and twisting of facts to fit the narrative. And, BTW, we wasted your ass a while ago. Good job, OBL. Rest in hell (which I reeeeally wish existed just for you) you prick.

Kim Jong-Un is passing over

zeuser comments on Apr 18, 2022:

That pudgy little fuck ain't rollin' back no bigass tomb blocking stone.

Ugh!!! Monday!!!!!

zeuser comments on Apr 18, 2022:

Hey! You promised not to tell that story about me and the prostitute!

FL school board member admits prayer resolution is about "God and Jesus Christ"

zeuser comments on Apr 18, 2022:

Once you stop indoctrinating children and start actually educating them, membership slowly shrinks and donations dry up.

Are you thinking what I'm thinking? :-D

zeuser comments on Apr 18, 2022:

Once, back when I was married, my then wife asked, "What are you thinking?" I responded, "I don't think. I know." To which she responded, "Well, we agree. I don't think you know either."

Hey, get your mind out of the gutter!!!

zeuser comments on Apr 18, 2022:

A shocking story!