Ugly corpse at that

zeuser comments on Apr 21, 2021:

Med student: Hey Prof! This guy doesn't have a heart! Prof: Yeah, but look at the size of that butthole.

Hot damn! Instant Karma wango tango asshole! [abc7.com]

zeuser comments on Apr 21, 2021:

When cat scratch fever is more than just a song. Too bad this wasn't around in the 60's, he could've used it to avoid the draft and avoid shitting in his pants for a week at the same time.

Yup an accurate observation

zeuser comments on Apr 20, 2021:

This is a normal consequence of having his brains up his ass.

What a PERFECT description!!

zeuser comments on Apr 20, 2021:

Yeah, that's him all right.

O.K. now it's my turn!!!

zeuser comments on Apr 20, 2021:

Look at the birdeee! LOL

State motto of Texas...

zeuser comments on Apr 19, 2021:

Let's see those longhorned fuckers try that shit on the Schuylkill. Who am I kidding? They would fit right in.

We all know a "self-entitled cyclist". 🤣 [youtube.com]

zeuser comments on Apr 19, 2021:

I am not a cyclist, but I can still relate. :)

Time for a math question...

zeuser comments on Apr 19, 2021:

"Less than or equal to one time" doesn't really sound any more reassuring.

I can identify with this one...

zeuser comments on Apr 19, 2021:

Who says you can't improve classic design? Well, at least for a cheap gag, but still. LOL

Justice Department Sues Trump Crony Roger Stone For Alleged $2 Million In Unpaid Taxes ...

zeuser comments on Apr 17, 2021:

Stone should be in jail. Capo Orange pardoned this obvious criminal. Lawsuits like this one rarely work, although I hope they prove me wrong. I have more respect for the stuff I scrape off of the bottom of my shoe than I do for Stone.

Just when You MIGHT Have thought It Was Safe to go Into The Water, Again?: [alternet.org]

zeuser comments on Apr 16, 2021:

Just like the "corpse plant" attracts pollinating flies by emitting the odor of a rotting corpse, this should be an irresistable draw for all the white power bigots in the house -- and they are legion.

Pretty accurate he is that

zeuser comments on Apr 16, 2021:

I always picture him as "painful rectal itch", but this is close enough. LOL

Trump Can Now Be Prosecuted As Government Confirms His Campaign Worked With Russia

zeuser comments on Apr 16, 2021:

He certainly deserves it and all the jail time they can legally impose. However, I doubt this will go to trial, and if it does, he'll walk. That's not what I want to happen, but that's what will probably happen. He has done it before. :(

I kinda like this take better. How about you?

zeuser comments on Apr 15, 2021:

Everybody loves physic-al humor.

Boo to you!

zeuser comments on Apr 15, 2021:

Probably a guy from Philly.

How many are doing this

zeuser comments on Apr 15, 2021:

I stopped checking on this a while ago. LOL

With a casino, the house is designed to win about 99.

zeuser comments on Apr 15, 2021:

He been skimming and scamming for decades. Born on third base, thinks he hit a triple.

It's high time to address these atrocities!

zeuser comments on Apr 15, 2021:

Those are pretty ducking funny.

This really has nothing to do with Trump except that it's all about GREED and THEFT...

zeuser comments on Apr 14, 2021:

Nobody is really sorry that he's gone for good.

Bernie Madoff, infamous Ponzi schemer, has died - CNN

zeuser comments on Apr 14, 2021:

There are lots of guys like Bernie out there who may never be caught, and people deliberately giving money to them every day. Bernie just didn't have his escape route established well enough. Good riddance in any event.

Amazingly stupid preacher/pastor. [newsweek.com]

zeuser comments on Apr 14, 2021:

Sure they will. And Ted Cruz will drop the beat. LOL

Putin’s right hand man!!

zeuser comments on Apr 14, 2021:

I bet they suspended his stipend.You think?

Snitches get skritches.

zeuser comments on Apr 13, 2021:

Don't ask the question if you can't handle the cold, hard truth. 🤣

Gwen Shocks a Christian I was in Walmart today and, as is my wont, struck up a conversation with...

zeuser comments on Apr 13, 2021:

That's cute. I remember telling a JW at the door that I was an atheist, and he told me he was sorry to hear it, which made me laugh. He came back the next day to apologize to me, which impressed me. Then I asked him if he wanted to help me sacrifice the goat in the back yard. And they say we have no sense of humor. LOL

Rep.

zeuser comments on Apr 13, 2021:

Cawthorn is an extra special super duper fun size fuckwad. NC assholery at its absolute finest. To be fair, he is a pretty good representative of the mouth-breathers in his district.

Never have figured out those danged new-fangled gadgets...

zeuser comments on Apr 13, 2021:

The "LOL's" are the embarrassing part.

Not sure, is this a porn ad?

zeuser comments on Apr 13, 2021:

If that's a porn ad, kneeling is just step one.

Crazy how much those things cost

zeuser comments on Apr 13, 2021:

Shit, I wish I knew this was an option 35 years ago.

That's a major ouch moment

zeuser comments on Apr 12, 2021:

Yikes!

Incoming!!!!

zeuser comments on Apr 12, 2021:

Rare shot of the stork delivering a baby. LOL I saw this picture on Facebook and I stole that description, which I love. ;)

No man is an island.

zeuser comments on Apr 11, 2021:

I think he is in a famous series.

Why hire P.

zeuser comments on Apr 11, 2021:

Yeah, that should work. Jesus Marie, what a moron.

A fresh new widow on the market.

zeuser comments on Apr 10, 2021:

For that kind of money? I'd hit it.

The only sure weapon against bad ideas is better ideas. Alfred Whitney Griswold

zeuser comments on Apr 10, 2021:

Smarter people are helpful, too.

Former Family Source Hit Out At Ivanka Trump, Implied That "Jared Is Gay And It’s An Arranged ...

zeuser comments on Apr 10, 2021:

Smearing this "family" is, honestly, pointless. To ruin someone's reputation, one must have an unsullied reputation to ruin. Who gives a flat-assed fuck what these freaks do? Anybody?

Now that's a great advertisement

zeuser comments on Apr 10, 2021:

Not really a carbon *footprint*, per se.

This time Tucker the racist fucker will be fired. Opinions? [businessinsider.com]

zeuser comments on Apr 10, 2021:

All publicity is good publicity. Fox lives in this truism.

Oh well if scientists said it

zeuser comments on Apr 9, 2021:

Dude, really?

Too busy to write

zeuser comments on Apr 9, 2021:

I miss Jim Unger.

Fair question.

zeuser comments on Apr 7, 2021:

I convey a lot with my facial expressions. Botox can't help my ass anyway. No for me.

There is no truth to the rumor that Matt Gaetz is opening a camp for children that are about to be ...

zeuser comments on Apr 5, 2021:

I'm still not sure why these guys are walking free.

Jewish Haiku ( from my Jewish friends - who else?

zeuser comments on Apr 5, 2021:

That is hilarious! 🤣

“Life is a series of natural and spontaneous changes.

zeuser comments on Apr 5, 2021:

Yup.

By the way, have you seen my cat

zeuser comments on Apr 5, 2021:

Woman, looking at the stone: Did i just hear a cat meow?

Yup this is accurate

zeuser comments on Apr 5, 2021:

Yeah, burned toast.

So the orange man wants people to boycott Coke.

zeuser comments on Apr 4, 2021:

He already said he would still drink their "garbage product". For a guy with a short pudgy crank, he sure steps on it a lot.

HELL HATH NO FURY! :-D

zeuser comments on Apr 4, 2021:

Very funny. She had her ex in stitches.

These are too good not to share.

zeuser comments on Apr 4, 2021:

I tried to find something like a byline or attribution, but I could not. These were posted on twitter by a guy called Snark with the @ designation mister2gooden2. That doesn't mean he created them, but he's the guy putting them out there. Best I could do, sorry. They look similar to stuff that Mad magazine used to do, but that's just speculation on my part. They are funny though, very biting and quite accurate. Interestingly, there is a lively genre out there if you google "republican clown caricatures". Left as an exercise for the studious atheist.

A lesson learned the hard way.

zeuser comments on Apr 4, 2021:

Jpegs, or it never happened. 🤪

“The earth is dead.

zeuser comments on Apr 3, 2021:

I dunno about this guy, but I go for pizza, crab legs, and filet mignon. But hey dude, you do you. 😁

Keep your eyes on the road boys...........oops!

zeuser comments on Apr 3, 2021:

No gag has ever failed by making fun of the over-active male libido. LOL

There's the Oxford comma and...

zeuser comments on Apr 3, 2021:

Best way to avoid premature punctuation.

What has four letters

zeuser comments on Apr 3, 2021:

Cute. Sometimes we all overlook the obvious by looking for more than what is plainly in front of us.

Guess who got their state's stadium to miss out on the All Star Game?

zeuser comments on Apr 2, 2021:

I heard that tv shows and movies filming in GA are moving to Vancouver and Toronto. Nice job, you backwoods bigoted asswipes. I remember GA was the beneficiary when NC passed that stupid bathroom bill, and now that it's gone around once, it is coming back around for the Georgia Klan rednecks. WAAAAAHAHAHAHA

I always thought this too, even as a kid. WTF would be so good about it?

zeuser comments on Apr 2, 2021:

I always wondered the same thing. I mean yeah, Jesus, WTF?

NO. IT'S NOT ME! 🤣

zeuser comments on Apr 2, 2021:

This is a legitimate complaint. Obviously a cock up by the admin. LOL

Why does everyone have to take things so literally?

zeuser comments on Apr 2, 2021:

Hah, nailed it!

[friendlyatheist.

zeuser comments on Apr 2, 2021:

This is good, but all it indicates is a rejection of dogma and not necessarily a rejection of religious belief, which by itself can still be toxic. Still, a step in the right direction.

Now this is the kind of church I would go to!

zeuser comments on Apr 2, 2021:

We used to call this "the parking lot" at the Tavern. 😉

Here's a random thought: If demonic possession is a thing, why isn't angelic possession?

zeuser comments on Apr 2, 2021:

I've been possessed by several angels, sometimes two at a time. A menage a wings if you will. You leave the money on the dresser and they eventually leave. 😜 (I kid.)

But after Pelosi expels this mushroom cocksucker from congress! Then the republithugs can do ...

zeuser comments on Apr 2, 2021:

I used the sad reaction, because this is what it takes for the "modern" republican party to repudiate one of their own, while seditious lying, indifference to suffering and death, and dumbass conspiracy theories wander the halls of the Capitol unchallenged and, for the most part, celebrated. 😡

Uh, because they're idiots???

zeuser comments on Mar 31, 2021:

Just spitballin' here, because they are LOSERS? Hmmm?

Beware the big crack

zeuser comments on Mar 31, 2021:

Watch out for the big pothole. Don't get stuck in the mud. 😜

I only asked her if she would try losing a little weight officer!

zeuser comments on Mar 31, 2021:

Ouch!

Charles Schulz knew what he was talking about.

zeuser comments on Mar 31, 2021:

If they teach you how to learn on your own, then yeah, they will.

Don't all rush at once

zeuser comments on Mar 31, 2021:

Bring rubber gloves and lube.

Mean meal

zeuser comments on Mar 31, 2021:

Life intimidates art.

Barred owl. A kid took this photo.

zeuser comments on Mar 30, 2021:

I had a mated pair hunting around where I used to live. They'd call back and forth to each other to keep track of where each one was. I miss 'em.

That is a good point lmao

zeuser comments on Mar 30, 2021:

oooo, I completely did not see that connection.

"Anyone can make the simple complicated.

zeuser comments on Mar 30, 2021:

I tried to do this when I was a technical writer. It's not easy.

Stuck between your teeth

zeuser comments on Mar 29, 2021:

Tres embarrassing!

Q: Do ewe give good head? A: Sure looks like it! :-D

zeuser comments on Mar 29, 2021:

5 pounds a bleat-job. Up front. LOL

oh Darwin...

zeuser comments on Mar 29, 2021:

Gee, now nobody will believe him. LOL

Eric Trump complains that Joe Biden takes too much time off when he visits his home state of ...

zeuser comments on Mar 29, 2021:

Jesus Marie, does he really believe we will buy that Biden going to his own home in Delaware is equivalent to his corpulent sex addicted syphilis-addled father playing fucking golf every weekend for four years? You're wrong though, he is even dumber than he looks, which is stone cold box of hammers stupid.

President Donald Trump didn't much care for conversations about his "legacy" ahead of leaving office...

zeuser comments on Mar 29, 2021:

Three things that are the same, for 500 Alex. Putting the toothpaste back into the tube, unfrying the eggs and putting them back into the shells, reclaiming the talking yam's reputation. What are three impossible things that nobody will ever be able to do? Ding Ding Ding Ding

Meep meep

zeuser comments on Mar 29, 2021:

They fall for it every time.

"Weirdo" fun!

zeuser comments on Mar 29, 2021:

A more occult version of "Is your refrigerator running?" LOL

Don't kink shame me!

zeuser comments on Mar 29, 2021:

Own your sexuality. Storm troopers are people too.

That's a nice try

zeuser comments on Mar 29, 2021:

Hey, I can't tell the difference, dude. Seriously. ;)

A politician in the making? :-D

zeuser comments on Mar 29, 2021:

Hey, you have to use whatever you have. Points for creativity.

What evangelicals think we do

zeuser comments on Mar 29, 2021:

How barbaric! A baby for breakfast? No, no, wait til lunch like civilized people do. For the hypersensitve amongst us, this is a joke, I kid.

“My definition of an intellectual is someone who can listen to the William Tell Overture and not ...

zeuser comments on Mar 29, 2021:

Rules me out.

Found this in my FB archives:

zeuser comments on Mar 29, 2021:

I don't see how you can get a lap dance here.

i'd like to see similar stuff on islam.. why is everyone mocking christianity only?

zeuser comments on Mar 28, 2021:

The Hulk is not an automatic fan of any god. He likes Thor because they work together, but remember how he beat the crap out of Loki? Just sayin'. 😉

Well, you got to realize that it's Cindy Hyde-Smith that we're talking about here.

zeuser comments on Mar 28, 2021:

Do not attribute to age what is clearly explained by hubris, bias, hypocrisy, politics, dishonesty, and naked self interest. I wish I was 61 again. Um, hold on...but still retired of course. 😌

Guess who won the huge Washington Opportunity Scholarship?

zeuser comments on Mar 27, 2021:

Congratulations and all the best to Ms.Denise, and kudos to her dedicated mentor. :)

If anyone is having a bad day...

zeuser comments on Mar 27, 2021:

Ouch!

The answer to the canal problem

zeuser comments on Mar 27, 2021:

That should work. Good idea, whoever came up with it. LOL

Of course hammers are dangerous! Why I can terrorize and kill hundreds of people from afar with a ...

zeuser comments on Mar 26, 2021:

Hammers are also a goes deal smarter than this gunbarrel-sucking moron.

New reporter from OAN?

zeuser comments on Mar 26, 2021:

John Baron's brother in law.

Name's Bond... James Bond.

zeuser comments on Mar 26, 2021:

I've met this guy, in several different incarnations.

Now, The Fun May really Begin: [alternet.

zeuser comments on Mar 26, 2021:

That's the language these asswipes understand.

Every time a state law like voter suppression in GA or defunding the voter approved and elected ...

zeuser comments on Mar 26, 2021:

I get angry.

I did not think it took a machine to fry my memory it gets lost all on its own.

zeuser comments on Mar 25, 2021:

Hmmm. *Looks at 5 bottles of wine and an empty milk carton in my fridge. *

"Facts don't necessarily have the power to change our minds.

zeuser comments on Mar 25, 2021:

I forget the author and the exact wording, but it's something like it is easier to fool someone than to convince someone that they have been fooled. Help me out her, quote people.

The real reason

zeuser comments on Mar 25, 2021:

Ya huh. Me too. RME LOL

Liar, liar, pants on fire...

zeuser comments on Mar 24, 2021:

Get used to it, kid. Mom might have been first, but it will happen to you again and again.

There is time in life when...

zeuser comments on Mar 24, 2021:

Pick the one you think who for sure won't get a divorce.

Cartoonies . . . . How are you getting along with life these days?

zeuser comments on Mar 24, 2021:

Those are hilarious!

He was a tank engine, right?

zeuser comments on Mar 23, 2021:

You can tell what he's aiming at by tracking his eyes. LOL