okay that's fucking nasty.

zeuser comments on Jul 31, 2021:

Did you know: No two ass-prints are exactly alike?

He hath returned....

zeuser comments on Jul 31, 2021:

Relax. It's gonna take him at least 3 days to "rise again".

I found my oasis...

zeuser comments on Jul 31, 2021:

Do they take credit cards?

Look like brothers to me

zeuser comments on Jul 31, 2021:

Hey, Tucker! Pick two! *boink* Nyuck nyuck nyuck

DeSantis spending $3.

zeuser comments on Jul 31, 2021:

DeSantis is calculatingly evil.

maKe ameriKa great aKain

zeuser comments on Jul 30, 2021:

Tres embarrassing.

"Shole President, aka: "Former Guy.

zeuser comments on Jul 30, 2021:

"Everybody does it!" in 3 - 2 - 1...

Hot on the market

zeuser comments on Jul 30, 2021:

Tube of AstroGlide extra.

Hang in there baby....

zeuser comments on Jul 30, 2021:

This pussy is on the wrong side. Just saying.

Oh dang! Lol

zeuser comments on Jul 29, 2021:

I am the captain now. Ok, that might be a little unfair. But I mean, c'mon man.

Have you ever met someone and about a minute later started thinking.....

zeuser comments on Jul 29, 2021:

Oh hell yeah!

Don't worry, she stole them from the duck

zeuser comments on Jul 29, 2021:

Um, Timmy and Samantha? 🤭

Never underestimate women without coffee!

zeuser comments on Jul 29, 2021:

Grounds for a lawsuit, I'd wager.

A DIRTY COWARD The Alabama Republican, Mo Brooks, was informed of the riot two days before, then ...

zeuser comments on Jul 29, 2021:

This guy needs a necktie party in his honor.

One talented lady

zeuser comments on Jul 29, 2021:

She sings the best when the hymn reaches its climax.

When someone tells me that their church can heal me....

zeuser comments on Jul 29, 2021:

Good point.

Here at last

zeuser comments on Jul 29, 2021:

Finally! Damn UPS.

I am happy to do it too

zeuser comments on Jul 29, 2021:

Hell yeah, I'll give 'em a ride. Shit, I'll even spring for some Big Macs. Just get the fuck out of here.

How to be concise

zeuser comments on Jul 28, 2021:

It's not intrinsically egregious to eschew obfuscation.

Have we gotten more uptight?

zeuser comments on Jul 28, 2021:

It's just a silver bell hanging on a string....

Can you imagine having to serve this "couple"?

zeuser comments on Jul 28, 2021:

I bet she doesn't eat much.

The end could be getting closer for the Trump Minions.

zeuser comments on Jul 28, 2021:

The DOJ can be useful if it isn't run by a crooked apologist.

It would be cool if the NY AG announce a criminal indictment on August 14th

zeuser comments on Jul 27, 2021:

That would be very cool, but I'm not holding my breath waiting for an indictment.

Now that is very different

zeuser comments on Jul 27, 2021:

You got your pointers, then you got your setters.

Michael Flynn Jokes ‘Maybe I’ll Find Somebody in Washington’ With New AR-15 ...

zeuser comments on Jul 26, 2021:

This twat should be in the hoosegow worrying about dropping the soap in the shower He's a traitor, a spy, he committed treason, he suborned sedition. Now he is threatening to go assassinate someone like it's a joke, right? Holy fuck, what does he have to do?

As if not existing after you die is the worst that could happen to you...

zeuser comments on Jul 26, 2021:

I like living. But I do not want anything else after I go. Fuck that.

Look at the other dog lol

zeuser comments on Jul 26, 2021:

Me too, but when I crawl. LOL

Are you thoughtful in buying gifts?

zeuser comments on Jul 26, 2021:

I bet he was ok with this til he saw the boxer shorts.

'Imagine,' blared at the Olympics, is a totalitarian's anthem

zeuser comments on Jul 26, 2021:

Hmm. Any relation to "John Barron", I wonder? Bishops are middle management. Nobody listens to them whether they are punching up or down.

Good advice for Catholic clergy....

zeuser comments on Jul 25, 2021:

And, uh, that's the gag. LOL

Confronted with proof that the data still existed, they admitted everything was there.

zeuser comments on Jul 25, 2021:

What the fuck. This was the plan all along.

I'll pass next time.

zeuser comments on Jul 25, 2021:

Then where? On the moon?

Dude, now you "had" 99 problems and karma is one of them.

zeuser comments on Jul 25, 2021:

At least he isn't infecting anyone else anymore.

This wasn’t me I hasten to add, they all agreed with my wife1

zeuser comments on Jul 25, 2021:

It's good to have your friends stick up for you.

Two old friends caught up for lunch.

zeuser comments on Jul 25, 2021:

A natural marketing guy.

Getting ready for a hot wax...

zeuser comments on Jul 24, 2021:

Probably checking how aerodynamic his head is. Like a poor man's wind tunnel.

Marjorie Taylor Greene won’t say if she’s been vaccinated.

zeuser comments on Jul 24, 2021:

A walking example of the ravages of hoof and mouth disease.

$250,000,000 Bail A judge has approved a $250 million bond for Thomas Barrack, a close adviser to ...

zeuser comments on Jul 24, 2021:

No biggie. Shit, I could come up with, let's say, 75 bucks at the drop of a hat. Imagine what this fuckwad could come up with.

Yeah can be obsessive about it

zeuser comments on Jul 23, 2021:

I buy arabica dark roasted beans, grind them in a little grinder, make coffee with a french press. I guess that's a little outside of the range of the Keurig/Taster's Choice guys. RME

I changed a light bulb.

zeuser comments on Jul 23, 2021:

Shit, I'd start a company if I could get this guy to market me. LOL

Which do you think

zeuser comments on Jul 23, 2021:

Who thinks it's anyone besides the corn?

Oh O!!!! Lol

zeuser comments on Jul 23, 2021:

Be careful what you ask for....

A good argument for tighter firearm restrictions? :-D

zeuser comments on Jul 23, 2021:

Somewhere, at some point in time, chameleon blood entered this lad's genetic sequences. LOL

It would be churlish to refuse them really! :-D

zeuser comments on Jul 23, 2021:

Not just a wet back, but a wet, well, everything!

SAVE AMERICA PAC DONORS GAVE $75,000,000 It was initially formed -- in the immediate wake of ...

zeuser comments on Jul 23, 2021:

How appalling! Nobody could have predicted this! A shocking, surprising turn of events! That was my Lindsey Graham impression. Whaddaya think of it?

You know you are popular with the MAGA ladies when....

zeuser comments on Jul 23, 2021:

Instead of elf on a shelf it's twat in a twat. Not sure if this one passes the smell test. LOL

Agile methodology is about taking up projects that are a higher priority.

zeuser comments on Jul 23, 2021:

Me: Call me back, ok? Nature: You answer this call NOW mister!

When divorce goes well.

zeuser comments on Jul 23, 2021:

If only.

In Portuguese vaccine is spelled vacina, this is quite the Typo for national TV! :-D

zeuser comments on Jul 23, 2021:

I guess I should get in line.

Carlson, You're a Dirty Rotten Tucker.

zeuser comments on Jul 23, 2021:

C'mon, tell us what you really think. 😜 But yeah, seriously, Carlson is the Axis Sally and the Tokyo Rose of his generation, pure propaganda and absolutely no shame or morality. No integrity either, but you already knew that. 😡

The DISINFORMATION Dozen: [theguardian.com]

zeuser comments on Jul 22, 2021:

Proof that being a knuckle-dragging dick is an international phenomenon.

Are you a nightmare dinner guest? I scored zero. 😁

zeuser comments on Jul 22, 2021:

Well, I'm allergic to avocados, grapefruit reacts badly with my beta blocker, and I never could see the point of beets. So 3. Everything else on this list, I would eat again.

R U Qualified???

zeuser comments on Jul 22, 2021:

Hey, you have to pay cashiers, so I'd settle for a couple of bucks everytime I do this myself.

Thursday morning humor...

zeuser comments on Jul 22, 2021:

This reminds me of a nasty joke regarding a one-eyed hooker. LOL

So I hear Bezos new yacht is supposed to be bigger than the Titanic ...

zeuser comments on Jul 22, 2021:

"Clearly we need to do everything we can to cut Bezos' taxes, maybe even give him federal money with a negative tax rate." - Moscow Mitch and his marauding band of wealth inequality apologists.

A man walks into a bar and sits next to a hitman who charges $10,000 a bullet The man says "Aren't ...

zeuser comments on Jul 21, 2021:

The classics never get old! LOL

Yep that'll show us....

zeuser comments on Jul 21, 2021:

Yeah, y'all showed us all right.

Dating site gives "final warning" to man who criticized me for being atheist.

zeuser comments on Jul 21, 2021:

Wow. This idiot picked the wrong target to proselytize, didn't he? 🤣

I often miss subtle hints but this one is made for me

zeuser comments on Jul 21, 2021:

Aww.

Trump always hires “The Greatest”.

zeuser comments on Jul 21, 2021:

Way overdue, too.

Arm chair critic...

zeuser comments on Jul 21, 2021:

Arm chair critic, living room sofa sleeper.

It was really hot

zeuser comments on Jul 21, 2021:

You can always use more bread, right?

I find this hilarious!

zeuser comments on Jul 21, 2021:

JFC, just put his ass in an asylum already.

(Cartoonist Serge Chapeleau, La Presse, Montreal)

zeuser comments on Jul 21, 2021:

A couple of dicks.

This guy is hoping trump gets elected in 2024. No pardon for you! [nbcnews.com]

zeuser comments on Jul 21, 2021:

You can't swing a dead cat without hitting another one of Trumps Traitors.

When she whispers in your ear....

zeuser comments on Jul 21, 2021:

It may not make me pop a rocket immediately, but it would certainly pique my interest.

A young man went into confession crying, and told the priest: “Forgive me father for I have ...

zeuser comments on Jul 20, 2021:

You heard me, get out!

This fucking imbecile is crazy but will go to jail despite her "sovereignty" truly a whack job! ...

zeuser comments on Jul 20, 2021:

All of these people are willfully ignorant and childishly self-deluded.

Dad joke alert! Just treading along, tired but thinking it's been a Goodyear so far. 😆

zeuser comments on Jul 20, 2021:

Looks like something you'd find in the private zoo of the Michelin man.

I am passionate about helping people

zeuser comments on Jul 20, 2021:

I hope this guy remembered to hydrate or someone is going to be disappointed.

Bring it back clean

zeuser comments on Jul 19, 2021:

Nice day in the "hood". LOL

A bright, young graduate joined the Internal Revenue Service.

zeuser comments on Jul 19, 2021:

Enough to make the IRS guy "bris"tle a bit.

Im gettin super powers

zeuser comments on Jul 19, 2021:

Talk about product placement.

Do you like the beach? I love it. My close friend took a nice shot. I hope you like it.

zeuser comments on Jul 19, 2021:

Looks like someone forgot to check on the angle of that shot. LOL

Good to know!

zeuser comments on Jul 19, 2021:

You don't have to pass an IQ screening test to become a crook.

".

zeuser comments on Jul 18, 2021:

He was a good guy. A little bit loose on his guys getting a few extra bucks on the side for whiskey tax evasion. Ironically, Grant liked to "pull the cork". He was a better nuts and bolts president than Lincoln, overall, IMO. The two eras, however, cannot be compared. He had the right idea about how church and state should interact.

No high hopes here

zeuser comments on Jul 18, 2021:

Expectations management at its finest.

"I have spent some time watching The Open Championship (formerly known as The British Open), and it ...

zeuser comments on Jul 18, 2021:

How to say I'm a narcissistic jackoff without saying I'm a narcissistic jackoff.

Who needs exercise or steroids !

zeuser comments on Jul 18, 2021:

This is exactly what I need.

Bye now! Sumbitch! [huffpost.com]

zeuser comments on Jul 18, 2021:

Good riddance.

But I like offending them so....

zeuser comments on Jul 18, 2021:

Hah! Attaboy Kermit!

Sorry sis, too late for your late bro who was really a fucking moron. [businessinsider.com]

zeuser comments on Jul 17, 2021:

I know there are consequences for what you do. But I still feel for these folks.

A good Christian man walked into Walmart and was offered a mask by the store greeter.

zeuser comments on Jul 17, 2021:

Nicely done repurposing. 😊

Quite an award!

zeuser comments on Jul 17, 2021:

Ooo, a wicked backhand. 😜

The nerve of some people

zeuser comments on Jul 17, 2021:

There is no sense of personal space anymore. 😄

There are always two reasons we ever fail at anything, it's that we tried and that it mattered.

zeuser comments on Jul 17, 2021:

Truman did some very controversial things, the integration of the armed forces was just one of them. Let's not forget he nuked Japan and told MacArthur to go fuck himself. He really didn't give a shit what people thought of his actions if he thought he was in the right.

‘The law, in its majestic equality, forbids the rich as well as the poor to sleep under bridges,...

zeuser comments on Jul 17, 2021:

Regardless of what the law says, the rich get away with it lots more than the poor.

So, while watching our nation swirl down the drain these past several years (as the former guy ...

zeuser comments on Jul 17, 2021:

I considered this. I think they really need me here.

Duh! Too late dumbass! Arkansaw antivaxer now sorry. [rawstory.com]

zeuser comments on Jul 16, 2021:

My heart breaks for the young lady, victimized by her own mother, dying due to misdirected love. It's a sad story.

Greatest since bikini. People with a high sense of fashion can appreciate.

zeuser comments on Jul 16, 2021:

What in the holy fuck?

Let's play "WHICH GOVERNOR IS STUPID TODAY" "Just four red states accounted for more than 40 ...

zeuser comments on Jul 16, 2021:

Jay-zoo this guy is dangerous. We need the mission impossible team here. Holy shit.

Total lack of self-awareness

zeuser comments on Jul 16, 2021:

I might be a cardinal by now? Am I following you here?

General Milley As A Voice of Reason, But Carlson Was Ranting About Him Yesterday: [rawstory.com]

zeuser comments on Jul 16, 2021:

When we need it, a hero will appear. At least that's what we all hope.

Dad joke alert!

zeuser comments on Jul 16, 2021:

I never heard the brake fluid one. *writing it down*

It happens sometimes....

zeuser comments on Jul 16, 2021:

I've been there. Like shaking a stick in the Holland Tunnel.

You want to get me pregnant?

zeuser comments on Jul 16, 2021:

Hah! Good luck, buddy! LOL

Ones eating a hamburger, the other one a fuckin’ lardbutt.

zeuser comments on Jul 16, 2021:

Wimpy has the better hat. LOL

Leaders lead by example, and if Trump were a real leader, he could have done so—from the get-go.

zeuser comments on Jul 16, 2021:

Yeah, you're right. :(

When someone asks me how I remain so calm in times like these when everyone around me is having ...

zeuser comments on Jul 15, 2021:

Yeah, that works up to a point.

If you want to awaken all of humanity, awaken all of yourself. Lao Tzu

zeuser comments on Jul 15, 2021:

Not sure if I'd want to awaken mankind, either before or after I awakened myself. It's still a good instruction.