Can you spot the difference?

zeuser comments on Sep 4, 2020:

Trick question. It's the accents, but you can't hear them in this meme.

Please answer....

zeuser comments on Sep 3, 2020:

Unclear antecedent.

Venn Diagram

zeuser comments on Sep 3, 2020:

I would recommend against getting a lap dance from a giant.

This is exactly what I was envisioning:

zeuser comments on Sep 2, 2020:

Lordy. All of his yonkos believe it too. Sad, and dangerous.

It's as easy as driving a car

zeuser comments on Sep 2, 2020:

Vintage sloganeering at its finest. Heh.

I am in a quandry and would like some opinions.

zeuser comments on Sep 2, 2020:

Sorry to hear about your cousin. Go ahead and do it out of respect for your cousin's wishes. I've donated in memory of someone who passed to outfits like the Carmelite nuns, whose sole purpose is to created altar vestments for priests. I personally think it's ridiculous, but the individual, and more importantly his family, asked for the donation. So I made it in his honor. It's only money, can't take it with you, if it can provide comfort to the grieving that's really all you need to know.

Ron Jeremy hit with 20 new sexual assault charges, faces life in prison - AOL News

zeuser comments on Sep 2, 2020:

Y'all making the mistake that rape is about sex. It's not. It's about power. When you've banged some 4000 women who were willing partners (paid, but willing), you get the idea you can do that to anybody. James Dean had similar charges leveled against him, though I don't know how those turned out. Porn is a nasty business, especially at the time big Ron came up.

Trump told Sarah Sanders to take one for the team after Kim Jong Un wink - Business Insider

zeuser comments on Sep 2, 2020:

Oh man, I'd pay money to NOT see any pictures of that particular coupling. Yuck. Imagine the smell, dollar store perfume mixed with kimchi.

“I didn't know then what a sperm was, and so wouldn't understand his answer for several years.

zeuser comments on Sep 2, 2020:

Great book. When humans evolve in the far future into creatures that look like seals, Vonnegut's narrator says this: “And people still laugh about as much as they ever did, despite their shrunken brains. If a bunch of them are lying around on a beach, and one of them farts, everybody else laughs and laughs, just as people would have done a million years ago.”

Who are these idiots?

zeuser comments on Sep 2, 2020:

It's nearly impossible to convince ignorant people that they are, in fact, ignorant.

I used to date a one legged girl who worked in a brewery. She was in charge of the hops

zeuser comments on Sep 2, 2020:

She had to quit. Too many yeast infections.

This is bad

zeuser comments on Sep 2, 2020:

Can't blame 'em, it is depressingly true.

"Among theologians, heretics are those who are not backed with a sufficient array of battalions to ...

zeuser comments on Sep 2, 2020:

That's the damn truth.

Trump Promotes Conspiracy About Plane Entirely Filled with Antifa Thugs As he continues to ...

zeuser comments on Sep 2, 2020:

See, now, this is the absolute freedom you get when truth is just another libtard fantasy. And wingnut fever dreams are REAL.

HUMOR! A THURSDAY ENGLISH LESSON! Your lesson for today… A retired Master Chief who was ...

zeuser comments on Sep 2, 2020:

Dave, you are on FIRE today! WAAHAHAHAHA

That what i do

zeuser comments on Sep 2, 2020:

That can get you in trouble. Trust me here.

"If God exists, I hope he has a good excuse." - Woody Allen

zeuser comments on Sep 2, 2020:

Woody is a talented director and a brilliant comedian. He's got a couple of issues though.Good quote no matter what.

' Be less curious about people and more curious about ideas ' - Marie Curie

zeuser comments on Sep 2, 2020:

Great minds discuss ideas. Average minds discuss events. Small minds discuss people. Not sure who to attribute this to, but it's not mine. I agree with it, though.

Assorted what-nots . . . .

zeuser comments on Sep 2, 2020:

Good ones, AS.

"Religion will eventually become as offensive and unacceptable as racism" - Chris O' Dowd

zeuser comments on Sep 2, 2020:

For many of us, it's that way now.

"I prefer someone who burns the flag and then wraps themselves up in the Constitution over someone ...

zeuser comments on Sep 1, 2020:

I miss her.

If the religious don't recognize the devil incarnate, we agnostics need to spread the message, ...

zeuser comments on Sep 1, 2020:

You know what they say. Small horns, small...

An Israeli doctor says: "In Israel, medicine is so advanced that we can cut off a man's testicles, ...

zeuser comments on Sep 1, 2020:

Not a good joke when you are the punchline. *sigh*

Well, I'm in the hospital.

zeuser comments on Sep 1, 2020:

Ya got me Dave! Good work!

Grab on for your life. This is a golden opportunity.

zeuser comments on Sep 1, 2020:

Voted breast ride in the park for guys.

Happens to me

zeuser comments on Sep 1, 2020:

And a lot of times, it is NOT!

To reach herd immunity for COVID-19, likely 70% or more of the population would need to be immune.

zeuser comments on Sep 1, 2020:

This makes the unproven assumptions that once you've had the virus you are immune from reinfection and that the virus won't mutate - like having to get the flu shot every year. This is a dangerous and stupid approach to handling the pandemic guaranteed to kill hundreds of thousands more.

Elect me so I can.......

zeuser comments on Aug 31, 2020:

You will be "elected" by a jury of your peers (who would we get for his peers? Putin? Baby Doc? Noreiga? "Kim? Erdogan?). Just a prediction. I always said the only justice the talking yam will ever receive is at the hands of a mob. He will be hung by his heels like his hero Mussolini.

Below I have pasted a few extracts from Wikipedia's page on QAnon, for your consideration: Theory...

zeuser comments on Aug 31, 2020:

Never underestimate the power of stupid brainwashed people in large numbers. Especially if they are armed. JFC, what a fucking mess.

Oops caught

zeuser comments on Aug 31, 2020:

Hey, shit happens. In this case, some real good shit, man.

My mind is my own church. - Thomas Paine

zeuser comments on Aug 31, 2020:

Common Sense.

I know I should stop but keep reading stupid people's posts on Facebook.

zeuser comments on Aug 31, 2020:

The federal government is becoming a major and embarrassing source of propaganda. Sadly, people believe this shit. Even more sadly, these are people who ordinarily distrusted government but now love it when it is misused to prop up an amoral dictator.

Anyone hungry?

zeuser comments on Aug 31, 2020:

I went to that club. The star dancer laid an egg.

"The most restive is that of the priests of the different religious sects, who dread the advance of ...

zeuser comments on Aug 31, 2020:

Duperies. I'm gonna use that.

For the Basketball fans...

zeuser comments on Aug 31, 2020:

You laugh, but there's always that one frigging guy who likes to blab.

Trump is trying to start a civil war so he can postpone the election and keep in office. Thoughts?

zeuser comments on Aug 31, 2020:

Yep.

Sitting on the fence

zeuser comments on Aug 31, 2020:

Straining credibility here.

Here’s a question.

zeuser comments on Aug 30, 2020:

Linus Pauling, a two time Nobel prize winner, and a true atheist hero, was asked what he believed. He said this: "I believe that all complicated phenomena can be explained using simpler scientific principles." It resonated with me the first time I read it, it still resonates with me today.

Elon Musk’s Neuralink Unveils Pigs with Computer Chips in Their Brains Tesla and SpaceX founder...

zeuser comments on Aug 30, 2020:

Pfffft. The British have had fish and chips for decades.

unintended consequences ... [agnostic.com]

zeuser comments on Aug 29, 2020:

That's how it starts.

for you fake news people...

zeuser comments on Aug 29, 2020:

Haha! That type of tie wasn't invented til 1870!

"Blasphemy: A law to protect an All-Powerful, supernatural Deity from getting it's feelings hurt.

zeuser comments on Aug 28, 2020:

I never understood that either. Of course, this particular piece of idiocy is part of a long line of shit about deism that I simply can't grasp.

Funny dancing frog

zeuser comments on Aug 28, 2020:

Gotta build up those legs, they are not nearly meaty enough for the Garlic Frog Legs at Chez Pierre's.

Is it "mean" of us to ridicule the entire Trump Crime Family?

zeuser comments on Aug 28, 2020:

This is something we might want to ask Chelsea Clinton. Anyway, I wouldn't worry too much about being mean to Barron. First, he'll never find out you said anything. Second, if he grows into being a criminal, then feel free to go after him. I have some hope, though. Some of Reagan's kids turned out to be just fine.

Cant make this up

zeuser comments on Aug 28, 2020:

Predictably a dick.

am i right?

zeuser comments on Aug 28, 2020:

"I thought you said you wanted me to wear protection, darlin'. What went wrong?" LOL

Republicans Cast Trump as the Best Choice for Women Republicans Cast Trump as the Best Choice ...

zeuser comments on Aug 28, 2020:

The base bought it, swallowed it hook, line and sinker.

"Ship it!" 🙁

zeuser comments on Aug 28, 2020:

Sometimes the only option available is to be useful to your oppressors until you are powerful enough to overcome them. It's a long game strategy.

Can someone please explain? I don't understand how it is somehow ok.

zeuser comments on Aug 28, 2020:

Too bad his convention is over, this kid would probably have been a keynote speaker. Well, two months or so left, I bet he shows up at a rally or two when he is out on bail.

"Science is organized knowledge." - Herbert Spencer

zeuser comments on Aug 28, 2020:

Science is a methodology with the sole purpose of discovering and organizing knowledge. Subtle difference.

need a good lawyer ?

zeuser comments on Aug 28, 2020:

Attaboy Trevor!

Just one?.....

zeuser comments on Aug 27, 2020:

Can we make suggestions?

Problems with masks????

zeuser comments on Aug 27, 2020:

Hey, that's different, ok?

"Religious freedoms" is code for "I want to be able to be a bigoted control freak and not face any ...

zeuser comments on Aug 27, 2020:

This shit reeeeeally sets me off. I'm triggered here, all right? All those small-minded smegma-smelling bigots should jam a bunch of sand up their arses.

What a difference

zeuser comments on Aug 27, 2020:

Hah! I was rolling with the sword and the mask before, but it was a different kind of mask. It was a katana, otoh.

Ride the Lightning

zeuser comments on Aug 26, 2020:

My soul doth magnify the lord, and my spirit hath rejoiced in God my Saviour. Hey, hey, just wait one fucking minute! What the FUCK is that shit!!!

Man, I've gotta laugh! 😂 🤣 This is for only those who have the ability to see the funny side ...

zeuser comments on Aug 26, 2020:

They want us to be pitted against each other.

You may think he is a moron...but watch this! [youtube.com]

zeuser comments on Aug 26, 2020:

Funny, but it's still sad. JFC

So.

zeuser comments on Aug 26, 2020:

Hey, it works.

I almost got through 'it'.

zeuser comments on Aug 26, 2020:

Kudos for having a stomach strong enough to sit through this shit show. I just can't do it.

Perfectly said....

zeuser comments on Aug 26, 2020:

Looker vs. hooker? Dash vs. trash? Regal vs. anal?

Poor mike..

zeuser comments on Aug 26, 2020:

Thuper duper!

Some other scamvangelist blaming Satan in 3 2 1..

zeuser comments on Aug 25, 2020:

I'm pretty sure Dave from the "Screw My Wife" network can hook him up with a new gig.

Yes...It came in the mail!!!!

zeuser comments on Aug 25, 2020:

You need more than just the ring. You need the decoder necklace, the decoder bracelet, and the decoder set of butt balls. Even then, it's still all incomprehensible horseshit.

Fairly apropos.

zeuser comments on Aug 25, 2020:

Push the button, get another diet coke, sit down, shut the fuck up.

Same couple, same often tempestuous relationship only a few months later this time.

zeuser comments on Aug 25, 2020:

That's not a joke. That's Exhibit A in divorce court.

"He who has a why to live can bear almost any how." - Friedrich Nietzsche

zeuser comments on Aug 25, 2020:

A lot rides on the where, when, and who.

New Security measures taken to Protect White House Staff

zeuser comments on Aug 25, 2020:

Couple voted "Most Likely to Shoot Off Hubby's Dick to Own the Libs". Quite an honor, if you are a gibbering idiot.

Wedding fail (5) : "Oh the cow spoiled my wedding photo!

zeuser comments on Aug 25, 2020:

A preview of the wedding night? Or an instructional video for the happy couple? We'll never know! LOL

"The more the state "plans" the more difficult planning becomes for the individual.

zeuser comments on Aug 25, 2020:

Depends on what the state plans, I guess.

.

zeuser comments on Aug 25, 2020:

That picture looks a little grainy to me.

The lies in just 1 night of the RNC debunked by CNN: [cnn.com]

zeuser comments on Aug 25, 2020:

It's like the first chapter of a Harry Turtledove series of alternative history novels. Holy shit, what a bunch of lying goons.

10 lbs of shit in a 5 pound bag

zeuser comments on Aug 25, 2020:

What do you think those letters from Kim Jong Un were all about? Instructions!

[yahoo.com] Trump twists everything

zeuser comments on Aug 24, 2020:

Not even sneaking around, just a brutal ham-handed extortion scheme. Something like Tony Soprano would try to pull, but at least Tony had a likable wife and a smart daughter.

Just how many people were at Trump's convention?

zeuser comments on Aug 24, 2020:

Probably all the upcoming speakers seated in a semi-circle around the talking yam. The butt cheeks, if you will, to his assholeness.

"Democracy is the theory that the common people know what they want, and deserve to get it good and ...

zeuser comments on Aug 24, 2020:

If only we had a democracy, eh? We have a republic, and the common people and the uncommon people tell elected representatives what they want, and the representatives try to achieve it. The problem is that each constituency wants different things, which is where compromise comes into play, good politics should become the art of the possible. In reality, the common people do in fact get it good and hard. *sigh*

Kellyanne Conway is quitting at the end of the month.

zeuser comments on Aug 24, 2020:

"My Life as a Crypt Keeper" maybe. Or "Lies are Facts, No Lie". The possibilities are, literally, endless.

The red flags just never stop

zeuser comments on Aug 23, 2020:

You can hide, but you can't hide forever.

What every household will need when the police are disbanded or defunded. 🤔

zeuser comments on Aug 23, 2020:

All your second amendment guys already have this setup. Most other people, who use their heads for something besides a hat rack, understand the nuance of defunding which simply means redistribution of funds to more appropriate agencies. And this picture reminds me of Luke Skywalker acting as a tailgunner in Star Wars.

The bully attacked Denmark for refusing the purchase of land, and now extorting and slapping ...

zeuser comments on Aug 23, 2020:

Mr. Tariff understanding free trade? That's crazy talk.

There's Stupid and then there's that Special Kinda Racist Stupid, is it even a crime to steal from ...

zeuser comments on Aug 23, 2020:

What would piss me off if I was a drooling contributor and discovered I was fleeced is that Bannon clearly didn't spend a dime of that money on personal grooming products.

Practical advice for the men of this group Dangerously Habitual Life Have you ever ...

zeuser comments on Aug 23, 2020:

Ya gotta pay attention. It's your nutsack, after all.

Trump's Muzzler: [dailykos.com]

zeuser comments on Aug 23, 2020:

"Attorney Genuflect, Bill Barr" Har har!

“If a woman has to choose between catching a fly ball and saving an infant's life, she will choose...

zeuser comments on Aug 23, 2020:

She won't seem so angelic when they give her the error.

“I don’t need you to remind me of my age.

zeuser comments on Aug 23, 2020:

My kids pipe up every so often too.

More trump stuff....

zeuser comments on Aug 23, 2020:

This may be why none of us in this group have ever been, um, probed, yeah? LOL

Subliminal messaging Only liberals eyes can see this. The red hats, oh well, wtf

zeuser comments on Aug 22, 2020:

Good one, E. LOL

The 2020 presidential race.

zeuser comments on Aug 22, 2020:

When your opponent is digging himself into a deep hole, let him!

That horrible feeling when you think somethings not quite right

zeuser comments on Aug 22, 2020:

Ooops. OSHA will be there soon.

Oooooh, kinky.

zeuser comments on Aug 22, 2020:

Doggies have their own sense of style, you know.

"I have three kids and no money. Why can't I have no kids and three money?" - Homer Simpson

zeuser comments on Aug 21, 2020:

Homer may be onto something here.

The turd has really lost it, now he is saying that Biden was not born here, isn't there a lost his ...

zeuser comments on Aug 21, 2020:

And technically, he gave this stupid speech in Old Forge, the pizza capital of the world!

The turd has really lost it, now he is saying that Biden was not born here, isn't there a lost his ...

zeuser comments on Aug 21, 2020:

This is just pathetic and sad.

Welcome to your 50s!

zeuser comments on Aug 21, 2020:

It gets worse, you'll see.

Trump melts down over Twitter’s trending topics after trending topics highlight Trump’s meltdown...

zeuser comments on Aug 21, 2020:

How many bags could a douchebag bag, if a douchebag could bag bags? Heh. What a maroon.

Yet another Bit of Trump related Scum Going down (presumably) [npr.org]

zeuser comments on Aug 20, 2020:

Wow, this guy looks like they dug him up from a shallow grave and ran 3000 volts through him, and he sat up and looked like this.

I have always heard that if you lie down with dogs you get fleas.

zeuser comments on Aug 20, 2020:

There's that "birds of a feather" saying that applies here. These guys would probably all eat at the same table in the penitentiary.

Just HOW STUPID is Trump? [dailykos.com]

zeuser comments on Aug 20, 2020:

I hear Roger Stone is available to speak. That would be a dandy addition to this sorry assed lineup of no-stars.

But here's the real twist. More of the same followed soon after. Never saw that coming!

zeuser comments on Aug 20, 2020:

I've got nothing to say, either. Eerie, am I right?

Jokes aside, it was an awesome speech.`

zeuser comments on Aug 20, 2020:

Bare knuckles and brutally honest speech. I could hear the Chicago overtones. I love that guy.